Ok, if you haven't figured it out by now, I have been kind of avoiding any temples, or bosses, this is because I am totally clueless on what to do! So, please, don't flame me, if you do, I will delete it and then stalk you until your dying day!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Ahem, sorry.
Disclaimer: I own everything Zelda! I don't care what you say! No matter what those men in black suits do to me, I will still say that I own Zelda! Oh no! My god! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! NOT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, in the last chapter, Link and Navi came to the Kokori forest, where they had a good time terrorizing the people there. Eventually ending with Link throwing Mido into a never-ending pit of pain. Let us look in on Mido, and see how he is doing!
Mido is at my school
Mido: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! What did I ever do to deserve torture like this?????? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It's the terrifying Science teacher from hell! Help me!!
Hehe, that was fun! Ok, in the fic, it opens with Link fighting a Poe in a, um, interesting way, I'll let the announcer tell you what is happening! Now on to the fic, good luck!
Announcer: Thank you Anime Freak! Now! Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you have all been waiting for! In the south corner, we haaaaaave Link! Weighing in at a whopping 100 pounds! He enjoys sunset walks on the beach, heart to heart talks, his sign is a Virgo, and he is single ladies! Give a huge round of applause, for LINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers in the crowd scare birds out of the forest
Announcer: Now, Links opposition, in the south corner, weighing in at, um, 20 pounds, we have a Poe
You hear a cricket chirp.
Announcer: Now, in this match, we will see who can drink the other under the table! So, here come the first glasses
Three hours later…
Announcer: And here comes glass number, 1,000,000,000,000,000. To recap, So far, they have each drunk 20 shots of tequila, 40 bottles of wine cooler, and the above number of bottles of beer! Wait! What's this? Link is getting up! Lets see what he says!
Link: Hey! You look kinda familiar! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! You're a witch! You can light fires with you lantern! I must kill you!
Announcer: OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! That's got to hurt! I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, but I can't let you see this! Oh! Ouch! Oh man! That Poe will feel that in the morning! Well, it looks like the match is over, since the Poe is unable to continue! I declare Link! The winner!
Loud cheers fill the forest once again, and Link faints, in a stinking pile of mass. Link wakes up several days later
Link: Oh man! What happened?
Navi: You must have been either high, or really stupid, but you got smashed out of your mind, and killed a Poe!
Link: Oh, cool! ^_^
Navi: ^_^
Link: ^_^
Navi: -_-
Link: ^_^
Navi-_-;;
Link: ^_^
Navi yanks out the mallet and smashes Links head in.
Link: :'-(
Navi: ^.^
Link: Lets just go, before you hit me again!
Navi: But why? I'm having so much fun!
L&N go on the entrance to the forest temple.
Link: So, um there aren't any stairs, so how am I supposed to get up?
Navi: Your supposed to use the slingshot! Duh dumb ass!
Link: Umm, what slingshot?
Navi: You didn't get the slingshot yet?
Navi begins to draw out the mallet when Sheik comes in.
Sheik: Oh, hi, sorry I'm late, but I had some, um, things to do.
Link: Who are you?
Sheik: I'm Sheik, and I'm here to give you some information, then suddenly disappear without a trace!
Link: Oh, well at least you're not that really annoying owl!
Sheik: Um, yeah, so, I am going to teach you two songs right now, because you I missed you at the temple of time, those kids scared me too much! Well, first I will teach you, the prelude to Light!
Heavenly song fills the glade
Sheik: Now, hold up your Ocarina and play with me.
Lank and Sheik play the Prelude to Light and Links Ocarina glows, and so on and so forth, but then Sheik, who is getting impatient, cuts in.
Sheik: You don't have much time, now, learn the Minuet of the Forest, hero of time.
Link: Ok, fist of all, stop calling me the hero of time! Then, who are you again?
Sheik: Listen! I'm trying to be serious here! Now shut up, and play the god d***** song!
Link: Whoa! Ok ok, don't have a cow man!
Sheik plays the Minuet of the Forest and his Ocarina glows, again. Suddenly, Saria appears.
Saria: Your Ocarina still glows? I want one!
Link: Come on! Saria, what are you doing here?
Saria: What? Me, what are you two doing here? This is my spot after all!
Link: Hey! Don't be so mean!
Saria: Well, I'm going into the temple, where you can't follow me!
Link: No! Don't go in there! It's cursed!
Saria: Shut-up!
Saria goes in the temple then Link and Sheik hear her scream.
Saria: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Stupid girl! I told her not to go!
Sheik who has been watching all of this happens with an open mouth, suddenly speaks up
Sheik: Um, ok, so, what was that all about?
Link: Oh forget it, I have to go save her!
Sheik: Well, ok, um, sure.
Link leaves Sheik still trying to figure things out. He suddenly remembers that he can't get up, and comes back.
Link: Um, I was wondering, could you give me a boost?
Sheik: Why? I have the sling shot right here, I knew you were too stupid to remember to get it yourself.
Link: I'm not sure if I should hug you for getting the slingshot, or hit you for insulting me, and since I'm not Ganondorf, I pick the latter of the two!
Sheik: Um, got to go now, bye!
Sheik throws something on the ground and a mini atomic explosion goes off and Link is knocked out by the radiation. Link and Navi wake up a day later.
L&N: Bastard!
Link: Eugh! I'm not sure if these boils are permanent, but lets just leave now!
Link goes into the first room and the Poe sisters are in the middle of a tea party
Link: Hey! Who are you?
Poe Sister 1: We are the Poe sisters, and we are supposed to guard this place, but right now, we're having a tea party, want to join?
Link: Sure!
Link joins the tea party, but spikes their tea so the sisters get drunk, then they tell Link lots of secrets on how to defeat Phantom Ganon and then let him down to see him.
Link: Ha! That was too easy!
L&N make it through most of the obstacles, (A/N: Ok, I know that I'm not doing everything, but hey, this is already really long, and I haven't played this temple in about 2 years! So lay off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) until they get to the twisted room.
Link: Oh man! This room looks f***** up! And I didn't even take any thing this time! I mean, um, I, well, what? Why are you looking at me like that?
Navi: Your hopeless.
Link: Lets continue, shall we? Wait, what is this creepy circle that seems to be forming around me? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! A hand!
A wall master suddenly falls and Link cuts it up
Link: There!
A giant comes out and yells at Link
Giant: Hey! What was that for? That was my good hand, and there you go cutting it up! Now I'll have to hurt you.
Link runs out of the room as quickly as possible. L&N make it all the way to Phantom Ganon and then he comes out and the eerie music begins to play.
PG (Phantom Ganon): Hey! What do you think you doing here? I was just admiring the artwork when you barged in!
Link: Ok, first of all, be quite, and second of all, what happened to your lisp?
PG: Oh, that's only in the real G-Dorf, he the 'happy' one. Well, now I must kill you! Bye!
Link: Hehe, I get to hurt a ghost!
Link PG go into one of their little battles, and Link wins
PG: Now I'm going to get serious, you won't know which picture I'm coming out of, so have fun!
Link: Oh S***
PG tries to go into one of the pictures, but suddenly screeches to a halt
PG: Whoa! It's the Mona Lisa! I can't do any ting to that!
So PG goes around and sees that all but one of the pictures are major woks of art, so Link pretty much knows where PG is going to be. PG then tries to go through the picture and rips right through it and hits the wall on the other side, thus ending PG. Then Link is transported to the Chamber of the Sages, where Saria comes out of the ground.
Saria: Haha! I can do something you can't do! Don't you want to be able to do this? I bet you do!
Saria starts to dance around Link and making loud comments about things that only she can do, until Link gets tired and walks off. Saria notices this and gets mad at him for not letting her finish gloating, so she takes her talisman and throws it at the back of his head, once again knocking him out. Link wakes up a couple of hours later.
Link: This is getting really annoying!
Navi: Well, I haven't been hit yet!
Link: I can fix that!
Link chases Navi around until Navi flies out of his reach, and the fight is ended.
Ok, ok, so the ending sucked, but come on! Give me some credit here! So, this will be the last chapter for a while, because I'm going out of town for spring break, bye!
