Chap 12
Ianto growls and slams the car into gear, roaring out into traffic. Horns honk as he cuts off people. He is oblivious. He grabs at his blue tooth.
"Unit Two? Unit Seven?"
"Seven here." Tosh answers.
"This is Two." Mary answers as well.
"Immediate roll. Acquire subject at bay side. Vehicle is red-and-white convertible. Inputting plate now. You have six minutes." Ianto barks as he negotiates traffic.
"Roger, One. Rolling." Came back and then the other unit "Copy that."
"Wait a minute! Are you out of your mind? You can't pull agents off a priority surveillance to follow your husband! Its gross misappropriation of Sector's resources, it's... it's a breach of galactic security." Owen warns but Ianto drives on, ignoring him. Owen grabs his shoulder, shaking him.
"You copy, Ianto? This is too far. You're losing it big-time. I have to stop you." Owen snarls and Ianto snorts.
"What ya going to do? Tell Mommy?" Ianto sneers.
"God damn it, Ianto. This is our arses. So your life is in the toilet. So your man is banging a used car salesman. Sure it's humiliating. But be a man here" Owen begs.
"You tell on me, I tell on you." Ianto sing-songed as he drove maniacally towards Mermaid Bay.
"What do mean? I'm clean as a preacher's sheets, babe. Clean as a…" Owen preens and Ianto interrupts him.
"What about that time you trashed a six-week operation because you were busy getting a blow-job?" Ianto reminds him and Owen gapes.
"You know about that?" Owen finally splutters
Ianto turns to him. His death glare could kill Darth Vader. Owen gives a shrug as he remembers that Ianto knows everything.
"Take a right, it's quicker." Owen suggests and Ianto makes the turn, with squealing tyres.
"You don't have any pictures though, do ya? Huh?" Owen whines.
.
.
.
Jack pulls his car over by the water. He checks his watch and sees that his hand is shaking. He looks around and the place seems deserted then headlights flash briefly in the shadows.
A red-and-white Vette emerges from the darkness and pulls up with Adam waving for him to get in quickly.
Mary lowers the night scope and taps her Bluetooth before starting the car to follow. "Two here. Subject is southbound. Two men in the vehicle."
"Roger two." Ianto's voice purrs in her ear.
Adam makes a show of checking the mirrors. "Now don't be alarmed... but if I'm spotted, it would be best if they don't see you. You should keep your head down until we're out of the city."
He pushes Jack's head down onto his lap. Jack crouches there, with his cheek against Adam's thigh. He's cruising along, loving it.
Owen is trying to watch the computerized city map on the screen, but Ianto keeps cornering so fast he loses his place.
"The passenger has his head in the guy's lap." Mary reports and Ianto is growling softly into the darkness.
"Roger, two. One to Condor, do you have visual?" Ianto barks.
The Vette crests over the brow of a hill as it speeds away from Cardiff. A moment later a helicopter rises up behind them and it follows the Vette.
"This is Condor. We have the ball, repeat... we have a good lock-up on I.R." the radio informs Ianto with the sound of the chopper heard in the background. "Shit is that a blow-job?"
The headlights of the Vette light up a shitty mobile home, on the outskirts of a holiday park off the highway. Adam and Jack get out of the car.
"My place in the city is too hot right now. So is the penthouse in London. But this place is secure." Adam explains as he ushers Jack inside.
Jack feels awkward in the small, junky space. A tape deck is playing Otis Redding. Adam hands him a glass of cheap wine. He clinks their glasses.
"To our assignment." Adam smiles.
"What is it you need me to do?" Jack takes a sip and tries to hide a grimace.
Jack, I want you to be my husband." Adam declares.
"I'm married!" Jack barks, leaning away from grabbing hands.
"Just for the operation in Paris. I need to be married. They'll be looking for a man traveling alone." Adam hastily tells Jack who widens his eyes with surprise.
"We're going to Paris?" Jack splutters and takes another sip without thinking.
"Jack, there's a double agent in my outfit... I don't know who. There's no one I can trust. Except you. Can you get away?" Adam scuttles forward to lean against Jack "Just for two days."
"I don't know. I have to think..." Jack's head is spinning as he tries to take stock of this strange request.
"Here. Sit down. Be comfortable." Adam moves clothes and magazines off the bed. Jack sits down and Adam tops off his glass from the wine bottle.
The agents have gathered behind a billboard. Ianto, Owen and the other three agents have dressed ninja style in back. They finish fitting battle-harnesses, then they grab black ski- masks. They don them in perfect unison. Commando precision. Ianto leads off and they quick-time march from behind the billboard, closing in on Adam's trailer.
Jack looks up at Adam and nods slowly. "Okay. I'll do it."
Adam slides over and sits next to him, taking his hand.
"You are incredibly brave. I have to remind myself the fear you must be feeling. I've lived like this for years, so I'm used to it. Every day when I get up, I think it might be my last. But it makes you appreciate life. And the moment. Because that may be all you have." Adam murmurs as he moves a little closer. Casting his spell.
"To pull this cover story off, we have to look exactly like two people who are intimate with each other. The enemy can spot a fake easily." Adam croons as he puts his hand on Jack's knee who tenses up instantly.
"You see what I mean?" Adam growls, "That reaction would give us away in a second. Try to relax."
"It's just that... it's been sixteen years since anyone but Ianto did that, I—"Jack tries to control his heartbeat as he swallows nervously.
"Relax. There, that's better. Let yourself slip into the role." Adam soothes as he puts his other arm around Jack's shoulders and pulls him slowly into a kiss. Jack finds herself not pulling away as he gives in to the dream-like moment. Adam lowers him slowly until they are lying together on the bed.
"There you go. That's right..." Adam moans into Jack's throat as he slides his hand up Jack's thigh. The fingers, stroking in little circles, slips under his shirt. And—
Jack suddenly reacts, pushing on Adam's chest, forcing him up off him.
"NO! Stop!" Jack cries but Adam persists with another kiss "Get off me RIGHT NOW!"
Adam struggles with Jack as he pushes him to a standing position. Jack sits up on the bed, straightening his clothes.
Adam looks pitiful and pathetic. Now he's going to try pleading, "If not for me, do it for democracy."
KABOOM! The back wall of the trailer is blown outward by tiny laser-charges. The concussion throws Adam forward on top of Jack. Five black ninjas swarm in, carrying guns and flashlights.
Lit by the beam of the flashlight, Ianto sees Adam on top of his husband, Jack's knees up on either side of his hips. It looks bad. Adam and Jack still stunned. They look like two deer in the headlights. Adam screams like a girl.
Five demonic figures, backlit by the search light from a helicopter. Smoke and dust swirling in the rotor-wash. The figures lunge toward them, grabbing them both. Jack struggles fiercely as Owen in disguise pulls him from the bed.
Ianto drags Adam to his feet by his hair.
Owen comes out first with Jack who starts to fight like a monster. Spitting and snarling as Ianto looks on with wide eyes. Wow!
Jack whips around, kneeing Owen right in the balls. Owen squeals and doubles over, and Jack breaks for it.
Ianto leaves a simpering Adam with the other agents and runs after Jack who sprints through the trees, Ianto racing after him. Finally Ianto grabs him and gets Jack in a headlock. Jack snarls and bites the hell out of his arm. Ianto yells and lets him go, just as- Tosh runs up and matter-of-factly clocks him on the head with his weapon. Standard operating procedure. Which is why she can't understand why Ianto slaps her, knocking her over.
Ianto supports a dazed Jack, gesturing sharply to the other agents silently to make his point as they make for the vehicles.
The door of an empty interrogation room with a single stool under a light, and a large two-way mirror. The door opens and Jack is escorted in by
Ninja-Tosh. Jack has a black hood over his head. Tosh undoes the handcuffs, then leaves quickly.
Jack whips the hood off and blinks in the light. He swings at the sound of the door locking and runs to it, pulling on the handle, without effect. He crosses to the mirror and stares at his reflection, trying to see if anyone is there on the other side.
Ianto and Owen in silhouette, sit at a console. Ianto speaks into a microphone.
"Sit down." A cold mechanical voice orders Jack in the room.
"I said SIT DOWN." The robot voice yells and Jack sinks into a chair.
"Who do you work for?"
"Williams, Barnes and McGrath." Jack says as calmly as he can, "I'm a legal secretary."
Of course. Mr Harkness Jones. And what were you going with the international terrorist, Carlos the Jackal? Taking dictation?"
"He said he was an American agent." Jack snaps, looking around the room nervously.
"How long have you been a member of his faction?"
"I don't know anything about a faction. I just met Adam... or whatever his name is... a couple of weeks ago. I barely know him." Jack defends himself.
"That's not what it looked like when we found you." The voice is a little bit more excited as Owen grabs the mic off Ianto who glares at him, snatching it back.
"How did you meet him?"
