An Ashley Greenwood Original Herbert The Hobbit!
*Disclaimer I don't own any of these characters, locations, or products except for the bangable Herbert!*
" Sexting,
Is not a good thing,
No one should Sext,
It's not the best,
Nude photos aren't sexy,
Herbert is sexy…"
Chapter 12: The Power Of Courage
"Nudity," I sighed to myself while looking at the elderly man's assets. You see Gandalf has an old man admirer who keeps sending him sexual messages, Gandalf hates it and I'm pretty sure it's because he is in love with me.
" I think Hrerebert likes it because he's a cheater," Sam accused while glaring while using his chubby cuteness to his advantage.
"Naw girl you just back up don't make me slap the beotch out of you," Legolas said with a finger snap and head wag.
I gasped, "Legolas don't cuss, I'm against cussing."
Legolas then smiled, "I forgot I'm sorry, you're so innocent, I think you're perfect." I then blushed, because I think Legolas has a crush on me also. It's hard for me, because so many gorgeous rich boys love me! Frodo then frowned, I was pretty sure it was because he was jealous.
I then grabbed Frodo and gave him a big hug, " I love you Frodie!"
"Oh stop it Herbert you always call me that and it makes me blush," Frodo giggled. Everyone then said awwwwww.
"Thy must keep heading out soon to Mordour," Gandlaf informed like a cheap infomercial. We all nodded and kept walking to Mordour.
" I miss riding in my parents 500,000 dollar car," I sighed to myself, every one looked at me all concerned like. They could all sense my sadness and everyone put their hand on my shoulder.
" Yo, Herbert you're lucky I was living in da ghetto we didn't have a car we rode the public bus," Gimly said while keeping it real. Aragon rolled his eye, because he hates the ghetto and the people that live there.
Aragon then chuckled, " Oh you lived in the ghetto, that sure explains why you're such an idiot."
Gimly then jumped in Aragon's face, "YAH!" Aragon ran away, because he was worried Gimly might decide to shoot him, we all laughed.
" Me and Merry never had a car either," Pippin piped in in the typical quirky Pippin manner.
I giggle, " Well it's because I lived in Northern Earth with the rich people not Middle Earth with the poor." Everyone gasped in amazement impressed at how rich I was, except for Sam he seemed super angry!
" Nobody cares if you're rich, nobody cares about how gay you are, or how sexy you are, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU AT ALL," Sam yelled holding back dramatic tears, ( the way he was holding back tears looked just like an anime!) everyone gasped including thyself, everything went silent and the wind blew through everyone's hair.
Sim then bawled, " I need to be alone!" Then Sam ran away into the forest, and quickly out of sight.
" I should use my super speed to find him," Gandald announced.
Frodo's hair then blew in the wind, "No don't Gandalf," Frodo's innocence was showing through his eyes. We then all went walking through the woods looking for Sam.
Then all of a sudden there was a large thud in the forest, we all came!
Then all of a sudden me and Frodo flew up to an island in the sky! When we got there, there was a lady in a long black cape, sexy curves, and long wavy black hair. The woman turned around and it was… THE ORCTRESS!
" Herbert you're a moron of epic porportions you fell in my trap again," The Orctress boomed! She then lifted her freshly manicured hands to the sky and pointed at Frodo, Then Frodo became in ice sculpture!
My eyes started to turn green because I was angry, " I suggest you let him go."
The Orctress then laughed, " Why would that be little hobbit?"
I then gritted my teeth, " It's because I get really strong when I'm angry, you just wouldn't like it when I'm angry!" I then ran at her with all my strength, we started to wrestle, then she knocked me off! At that second the ground turned into mud ruining my designer outfit and my amulet of courage got tossed out of my pockets!
The amulet was falling off the cliff, so I leaped for it, I caught it. Once I caught it though it started glowing and vibrating! I gasped, "Herbert this is your father talking to you through the Amulet Of Courage, I give you courage to continue the family's fashion legacy, save your lover, and save the world!" My shirt the flew off and my pecs became even more impeccable!
"THE POWER OF COURAGE," I yelled as I used a magic attack on the Octress, but she put up a shield! I then started to feel weak, and I fainted with the wind blowing in my hair making me look even sexier!
At that moment Gandalf flew up to the island in the sky, " !" Gandalf shot a spell at the Orctress and she died! At that moment Frodo was freed, "Herbert are you okay," Frodo asked while running over. I didn't wake up, I didn't move.
"Herbert, please wake up," Frodo begged.
Stay Tuned For Chapter 13 Of Herbert The Hobbit!
