Maslow
Ninnik Nishukan


Summary: What do you need? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.
Security of Body, Part III

Drakken looked up at her from where he sat on the cold ground, rubbing his forehead. "Gee, Shego, thanks for taking off with the helicopter and leaving me on a train that was about to explode."

One mildly offended eyebrow arched. "Excuse me? How about—gee, Drakken, thank you for being so absent-minded that you put my life in danger because you forgot to fake the explosion and created a real disaster instead? How about— gee, Drakken, thanks for not having the common sense to follow me when I left?"

"Oh, don't even try." Drakken warned her grumpily. "You could've waited."

"It's not as if I ran out, was it?" Shego remarked with a tilt of her chin. "You had plenty of time to follow, you were just too stubborn to give up on your plan even after it had obviously failed."

"Hah!"He dismissed her with a sneer. "If you knew I wasn't going to follow you, you should've tried harder to talk me into it, if you were so concerned."

"Hey, if you wanted to get blown up, that's your problem," she shrugged. "Don't blame it on me, you could've followed. Besides," She added, smirking. "I came back, didn't I?"

He grunted irritably, rolling his eyes. "Yes, you came back."

"Considering I could've been having a hot cup of tea at the lair right now instead of shooting the breeze with you out here in the freezing cold and snow, that ought to earn me a few brownie points, right?" She grinned as she bent down and looped her arm through his, pulling him to his feet carefully as he looked rather out of it.

"Yes, you're a real humanitarian," Drakken muttered as he clutched his head and struggled to his feet, grateful for her help but not wanting to acknowledge it.

"You hit your head or something, Doc?"She asked, noticing that his knees were shaking a bit as he tried to keep steady on his feet.

"Oh, no, not at all," he said sarcastically, wincing as he touched his brow. "It was only a train going at full speed smacking me right into the roof of a tunnel."

She laughed incredulously at that. "Whoa! You're really a resilient little guy, aren't you?"

Drakken's lips tightened as he fought to stay on his feet. She was laughing at a time like this? Wasn't that just so like— well, he could stand on his own, thank you very much!

He scowled at her, trying to tug his arm away from her huffily, but she tugged him back sharply so he almost overbalanced, falling against her side.

It had been far too easy to make him stumble, and she suddenly realized he was doing worse than he'd tried to make it look, probably because of his pride and her mocking. Shaking her head, she propped him up against herself, pulling his arm over her shoulders and slipping her own arm around his back for support. He seemed so woozy all of a sudden that he didn't even try resisting.

"Don't make this so difficult," she scolded. "If you fall over again, I'm not gonna bother picking you up, so you just stay in place, okay?" In truth, she'd keep on picking him up until she got him home, but he didn't have to know that.

"Don't need any help," he muttered, but his voice sounded a little fainter now, and his head sagged a little, his chin almost touching his collarbone.

"Well, you don't need to be lying unconscious in the snow, either, now do you?" She said sharply, frowning at him.

Drakken glared at her, but she could tell his heart wasn't in it. "Just tell me there's some painkillers in the medical kit in the helicopter, and I'll follow." He said eventually, groaning.

She chuckled softly, hoisting his tired body up a little, shifting to get a better grip on him. "Come on, Dr. D."

On the ride home, she kept him annoyed enough to stay awake until she could figure out if he'd hit his head so badly it would be dangerous for him to fall asleep. Luckily, the doctor she kidnapped on the way home told her there was nothing to worry about.

Drakken really was very resilient.

If he had any objections to the fact that she reached over almost nonchalantly once during the helicopter ride to touch his forehead experimentally to see how he was doing, he didn't say anything.

She did come back, Drakken thought that night, as he lay tucked under his comforter with a bandage on his head, about to fall asleep. Shego did come back this time.

And he smiled, just a little.


Food, Part IV
He'd made another partner. Again. Another sidekick. Again.

Okay, so she'd worked with other people, but that was just…different.

She was a mercenary, basically. She went where the money was, and the Seniors had plenty of that.

But him…wasn't he supposed to be…wasn't he supposed to be all sensitive or something?

Hah! Well, apparently he was only sensitive when it came to himself.

He didn't even invite her along for the brunch! As if she didn't get hungry?

She hadn't had her breakfast yet, either, but did it ever occur to him to ask?

No, he'd just walked off without as much as even a 'see you later', the rude, ungrateful little—

She'd saved this life when that Lucre idiot had almost accidentally killed him with his own security system, for crying out loud!

Bonehead.

"I'm hungry," she muttered angrily to herself as she stomped off to the kitchen, tearing through kitchen cabinets to find something edible. She'd never been much of a cook, either, so she would have really loved to go out to eat— "I want a stupid brunch! I want a nice sandwich, maybe some honey melon slices— no, I want some Thai food—"

She could go out, but was she supposed to just sit there alone and eat like some kind of loser?

"JERK!" She exclaimed. She couldn't find anything but a half-empty bag of muesli and some shriveled old fruit, and cursed as she remembered why they hadn't had any breakfast to begin with that day. They hadn't gone shopping yet, and their kitchen was basically empty.

As she grabbed her car keys to go out and get herself some unhealthy take-out just because, she paused at the door as it suddenly occurred to her to wonder if maybe he wasn't being all passive-aggressive towards her, unconsciously repaying her for abandoning him—

No, they were over that.

No, he was probably just being all scatterbrained as usual— he'd probably just been distracted by Lucre and his ideas for a new scheme.

Still…he could've at least said 'bye, Shego', she thought defiantly, biting her lip worriedly as she left the lair.


"Now let me get his straight," Drakken said slowly, barely holding down a hysterical giggle. "You, Frugal Lucre, have just shared a cell with Motor Ed?"

Lucre nodded solemnly. "Yes!" He exclaimed exasperatedly. "And he was so annoying! In fact, I have never met anyone more annoying in my life, I—"Lucre paused, tilting his head curiously at Drakken. "Why, do you know him or something?"

Drakken barked out a short, half-squelched laugh. "Know him? He's my cousin!"

Lucre's eyes widened at that, and he put his hands up apologetically. "Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to insult your family—"

"Don't be, don't be," Drakken only laughed as he waved off the apologies. "Hah!" He exclaimed with triumphant happiness, punching the air. "There really is such a thing as karma!" Not only had his cousin, who'd left him in prison, now been imprisoned himself, but Lucre, who'd annoyed the life out of Drakken in jail, had gotten a taste of the annoyance factor! Talk about killing two birds with one stone!

"What?" Lucre asked, lifting one of his thick eyebrows.

"Nothing, nothing," Drakken chuckled. "More coffee?"

"Please. " Lucre nodded, holding out his cup. "Hey, do you think maybe we should've brought your nice green lady friend with us to brunch?" He added, frowning, as if the thought had just occurred to him.

Drakken shook his head, waving the coffee pot slightly in dismissal. "Nah, she's not the sociable type."

"Oh, all right, in that case…" Lucre agreed, smiling as Drakken poured him some coffee.

Putting down the coffee pot again, Drakken took a bite out of his lunch before grinning. "You know, Lucre, you're okay."He said, and found that he meant it. Lucre's annoyance factor seemed to be toned down a little when he wasn't confined with the man in a tiny room twenty-four hours a day.

Besides, it seemed that Lucre had potential to be, if not an actual super villain himself—he didn't have an interesting gimmick, he had no real reason or motivation for being a villain, he had no resources, he wasn't rich, a genius or deadly, and he didn't look intimidating at all— a rather useful co-plotter. He seemed to have a knack for coming up with plans that weren't overly complicated, weren't difficult to enforce and not to mention plans that weren't that costly…and 'simple and cost-efficient' sounded rather good to Drakken right about then.

Of course, it did also help that Lucre seemed to have an endless supply of well-deserved praise for Drakken's genius, unlike some people…!

Deep down, though, if not quite aware of it, he wondered if Lucre would also manage to be critical of him when it was needed…


Respect, Part III
"Shego!"

She hadn't run off, she'd just walked off in a haughty, offended way, and he caught up with her right outside Martin Smarty's office.

He leapt forward and grabbed her arm. "Shego!"He called again, making her turn around for a split second only to glare at him. "Shego, you can't just leave..!"

She spun around again, shaking off his arm and stomping away. "Oh, I can't? Watch me!"

He hurried after her. "Shego, I need you! We need to get the Ultimate Remote Control back!"

"Oh, really? I was never more than a distraction in this plan, and guess what— my job here is done!" She snarled, only briefly turning her head to look at him.

"Be reasonable, Shego," he tried, appealing to her even as she left, "you can't walk out on me in the middle of a plan AGAIN!"

"Why would you want me around, anyway? I just messed up your plan, didn't I?"She snapped. "And next time, you can wear the stupid wig!"She threw over her shoulder at him before she rounded a corner and was gone, fuming.

Drakken blinked after her. Apparently, she'd been more offended by his comment that everything was her fault than he'd thought. And he'd been so sure he'd manage to talk her into staying and helping him out. Maybe he shouldn't have yelled at her like that for making him drop the URC...because it wasn't as if she'd done it on purpose...

Now, like the last time, it seemed as if he would have to make do by himself. Drakken groaned. He hated having to go all Action Man. Shego usually did all that stuff. Still, he'd managed to hold his own against Kim Possible before...if only it hadn't been for that knockout by the train tunnel roof...

"Women, huh?"Lucre said sympathetically as he walked up to Drakken, nudging him in the ribs.

Drakken blinked again, briefly disoriented. Oh, right. He wasn't alone. He still had his...protégé, for lack of a better word. Maybe he could be of some use?

"Yes, um...women."Drakken agreed vaguely, nodding. It wasn't 'women', though, he thought to himself, it was one woman in particular. It was Shego. She was always so...difficult to figure out. What had set her off this time? It couldn't just have been that one comment, could it?

"So, I guess we're on our own, partner!"Lucre enthused, grinning. "It'll be so exciting! Kinda like a guys' night out!"

Drakken stared at Lucre and somehow had real difficulty imagining him on a guys' night out. He'd kill the mood after the first half an hour by trying to worm himself out of paying for a round of drinks for everybody, for certain.

"We need to get decked out," Lucre went on. "Come on, I know where they keep everything around here!"

Well, at least the guy had a good first hand knowledge of the building they were in, Drakken thought, as he ran after Lucre.

"Oooh, chilli beans are on sale for 50 cents!"

Now if only he could keep Lucre from getting distracted by every bargain offer from here to the next workable weapon...


Family, Part II
Drakken was quite impressed, really. Shego had actually rescued him before he'd even made it to prison. She'd just swooped down in the hover craft, stuck a small explosive device on the jail wall and helped him escape through the resulting hole. She'd even busted out Frugal Lucre, as they'd been sharing a jail cell.

He hadn't expected that, and especially not after she'd stormed off like that.

Apparently, she wasn't going to keep leaving him in prison anymore, and that felt rather…reassuring.

She was quiet when they came back home, and she headed straight for the kitchen without a word.

Sighing with the relief of not having to go to prison this time, Drakken followed.

Shego took her sweet time figuring out what to have for supper, lingering over what to drink and staring blankly at the groceries they'd picked up on the way home after they'd put quite a lot of miles between them and the police, lost in thought and seemingly not even noticing that Drakken was there as he bustled around the kitchen for a couple of minutes, quickly deciding what to eat. When she finally went into the pseudo-living room of the lair, carrying a tray of nothing but a glass of milk, a banana and some crackers— for some reason, her appetite had dwindled suddenly— Drakken had already eaten most of his meal.

He was sitting in a relaxed pose on the couch, still wearing his lab coat, but he'd removed his gloves, and had loosened the somewhat tight collar. At a glance, he seemed to be wearing a plain, black T-shirt underneath. As she sat down next to him, she was silent as she ate some of the crackers, absent-mindedly watching him channel surf idly, and hearing him groan softly occasionally; he looked about as tired as she felt.

"So…"She began eventually. "What happened to your little friend?"

Drakken gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I think he's just going to go home to his mother again or something, who knows? It didn't work out."

"No! Really?"Shego gave a little mock gasp, covering her mouth with her hand like a classic film diva.

Drakken scowled at her before sighing, leaning back on the couch. "Can you imagine?" He said absently to the air, or maybe to her. "Living with his mother at his age? I think I would've gone insane."

Putting her plate away and kicking off her uncomfortable pumps, Shego pulled up her legs so she could rub her aching feet. "Don't you mean," she began, pausing to groan and flinch slightly as she worked out a kink in her toes, "Don't you mean more insane?"

Drakken brow rose. "Not your best, Shego." He remarked dryly before he looked her over, suddenly curious. "Why are you still wearing that dress, and where have you been, anyway?"

"I've been to a little place called None of Your Business." Shego replied casually, plucking the remote control out of his unresisting fingers.

"What have I said about keeping secrets, Shego?"Drakken pouted for a second, but his expression quickly turned serious. "I don't like it when you don't tell me things."

She shrugged as she flipped from channel to channel. "There are a lot of things I don't tell you."

He frowned. "Like what?"

"Like you'll never know what, that's what."She continued in the same casual tone of voice, yawning a little.

He tried burning a hole in her face with a death glare for a moment before relenting. "Fine. I guess you have your private life, too."

"Too?" She quirked an eyebrow. "I really doubt you'd have anything I'd be dying to know."

"Oh, I might just have a secret or two…" Drakken said enigmatically, but it only made her laugh.

"Nice try, Doc," she shook her head, smirking overbearingly. "Is this water?" She added, then, pointing to his glass.

"Yes." When he nodded, she leaned forward and snatched the glass, taking a deep drink.

"I didn't say you could have any!" He snapped, scowling at her.

She shrugged, a hint of a smirk in the corner of her mouth. "I didn't ask."

Drakken subjected her to the evil eye for a while until she handed him back the glass, which he practically yanked out of her hand. Looking down, he found that she'd left a black lipstick mark on the rim of it, and it made him feel funny. It felt a bit too…intimate for his liking, and so he turned the glass and drank from the other side of it when he took a swig. She didn't seem to notice.

What was she doing smearing her lipstick all over his things, anyway, he wondered, shifting slightly uncomfortably as his gaze travelled unbidden up to her dark lips. The lipstick marks reminded him of a certain incident the year before that he didn't need being reminded of.

"You know," He began, almost as if just to have some other thought to concentrate on, "I was surprised that you came after me so soon."

"Snap decision." She shrugged, flinching slightly at a sudden pain in her foot. "That Smarty guy told me you were busted."

Drakken gave her a bewildered look. "Martin Smarty? What were you doing with him?"

Hearing that bit of news felt…strange. Like a small stone had been dropped into the pit of his stomach. It felt kind of like whenever he'd be envious of some new invention of Dementor's, or whenever he used to feel some form of paranoia in high school that he was missing some major point or something, that he was out of the loop, only not— only different, stronger. What was she…? Why was she— and after the plan had gone south? What reason could she have had to—

Shego paused; she'd been momentarily distracted by her feet and had barely even noticed that she'd revealed to him what she'd already decided not to tell him. "Uh…I went over to his place." She explained reluctantly. "Later on, you know. The guy was putty in my hands, so I figured maybe I could con a few bucks out of him."

Drakken realized he'd actually been holding his breath. He let it out quietly, leaning forward. "And did you?"

Something awkward flitted across her face before she shrugged again. "Nah, turned out he had a bratty kid, so I just got out of there. You can't really con a guy with his kid watching."

Drakken gave her a stare that went on just long enough to make her slightly uncomfortable. She could practically hear the mental gears turning behind his eyes as he tried figuring her out, but suddenly he seemed to decide just to drop the search. "Well, good thing you went over there so you got to hear that I'd been captured."

"Right," she agreed, and there was an almost grateful sigh in her voice.

"Thanks, anyway," Drakken nodded at her, and she grinned fleetingly. Yeah, he'd better be grateful; she'd even risked total awkwardness for him by doubling back after rejecting Smarty just to ask him about what happened to her 'accomplices', determined to not leave her blue boss hanging again. It'd been far too emotionally trying the last time, and she didn't want to have to go through it again.

"Ugh," Shego groaned slightly as she pinched a spot on her foot too hard. She never wore heels, and there was a reason for that. "This is all your fault, you know, making me wear this stupid outfit…!"She muttered.

Drakken looked at her for a second or two before he suddenly grabbed her foot right out of her palm, resting her heel on his knee. "You're doing it all wrong," He scolded her mildly, glancing at her to find that her face bore a completely stricken look. Then her features shifted to pure annoyance, and for a second it looked like she was considering kicking him in the face for his insolence.

There was a short, hesitant pause, though, and he took advantage of this pause to go into the correct order of a good foot massage, beginning by stroking the top of her foot.

"What are you doing—"She yelped, but then her expression melted to something like a combination of bliss and confusion, and she made a sound like: "Guh…?"

"How someone so good at neck rubs can be so lousy at foot rubs is beyond me," He said absently as he kneaded the skin and muscles of her foot firmly, but gently, immediately regretting the words as he realized what he'd said. Looking up quickly to gauge her reaction, his eyes widened at what he saw.

It was as if a wall came clanking down in front of her face, completely shutting away all traces of emotion. "Don't remind me," She warned him in an even, hard tone, and he nodded, looking away, slightly embarrassed; he could feel the muscles of her legs clenching under his fingers.

He cleared his throat theatrically to break the tension, and felt her muscles slowly relax again. "You can't just pinch and prod randomly," He went on reprimanding as he fussed over her foot, moving on to her sole, making circular motions with his thumb and fingers, her heel resting in the palm of his other hand. "You start from the top, work your way down…and you don't neglect the sides. You have to know what you're doing."

"And how is it that you know what you're doing?"Shego demanded in a murmur, her eyes closing as she leaned back on the couch.

Drakken's mouth quirked with a small grin. In the complicated evasiveness that was Shego Speak, that was supposed to be a compliment; it meant that she thought whatever he was doing actually felt rather nice. "Well, I—"He began, but she interrupted him, sitting up slightly.

"Wait, let me guess," she said flatly. "You used to rub your mama's feet, right?"

He gave her a glare for her irritating tone and pushed his thumb into a sensitive spot of her foot, hard, smirking in victory when she practically collapsed back on the couch, groaning. He'd also given his girlfriend a couple of foot rubs back in the day, as he'd started college, and years before he'd gotten mixed up in all the evil revenge business, but he wasn't about to tell her that. She probably wouldn't believe he'd ever even had a girlfriend, however brief the relationship had been. Besides, she might start prodding him with personal questions he didn't want to answer.

"I've rubbed my own feet plenty of times."He said, shrugging. "And sure, I've rubbed my mother's feet. She's an old lady, and I'm her son. It's my job." He said matter-of-factly as he rotated her foot gently, noting that she was wearing a coat of flawless, black nail polish even on her toenails. He wasn't surprised. "I'm sure I'd like to have someone to rub my feet when I get old."

"You're already old," she mocked half-heartedly, sighing as she threw an arm across her eyes, her body sagging further and her toes flexing.

"You know," Drakken remarked in an offended tone, kneading the sole of her foot by holding the foot with one hand and making a fist with the other, using moderate pressure on the sole; this made her body twitch a bit, "you have ridiculously tiny feet."

"Good thing you have ridiculously tiny hands, then," she shot back, lounging luxuriously. This had to be every employee's dream, she thought, actually having their feet rubbed by their own boss. All that was missing was someone feeding her grapes and fanning her with palm leaves.

"My hands are still bigger than yours," He pointed out sulkily, radiating wounded male pride.

"Wow." Shego murmured sarcastically. "You have slightly bigger hands than a woman with ridiculously tiny feet. Must really make you feel all manly."

Grunting in offence, Drakken began rolling her toes between his fingers. "They're like Barbie feet," he went on.

"Gee, thanks," Shego replied listlessly, unable to get properly angry during the thorough massaging of her tired feet. "Let me just get my blond wig out again, y'know, complete the ensemble..." She mumbled. His hands were very warm, and curiously soft as he continued the foot rub; it had to be because he was always wearing those protective gloves.

He opened his mouth to comment, but she stopped him with a pointed finger. "Other foot now," She ordered, and he would've been provoked by it if there hadn't been contentment and relaxation written all over that order.

"Fine." Sighing, he put her left foot down and picked up her right.

"This is pretty good."She said, grinning cheekily at him as he continued the massage. "I think I'll forgive you for ditching me at brunch."

Ah, here we go. He'd known there had to have been some other reason why she'd been so upset with him earlier. He hadn't thought she'd care, however. How odd.

"Is that so?" He quirked a brow, his fingers halting in their movements on her foot. "Well, then it'll interest you to know that I decided to forgive you for botching up my plan and ditching me since you came and rescued me so soon afterwards. And that it's why I'm even bothering to do this in the first place."

"At least I didn't ignore you for some lame bargain basement wannabe villain…" She muttered, looking away.

Drakken stared. Was she…? Nah, she couldn't be. Jealous? Over that guy? Feeling threatened as a sidekick by Warmonga was understandable, but feeling threatened by Frugal Lucre? Sure, he'd had a good idea, but he was still…well, Annoyance Factor F! Hardly anyone to feel threatened by!

"Shego," he started, glancing at her, "Frugal Lucre isn't—"

"Less talky, more rubby," Shego pouted.

Drakken shook his head with capitulation, yet resumed the massage, starting the procedure from the beginning with the new foot. "Talk about 'putty in my hands'," he muttered quietly, snickering slightly to himself.

The foot rub seemed to be, while not completely killing off her sarcastic mockery, at least slowing it down considerably. It'd really taken the edge off of her for a while, and now she was even whining for more. Shego never whined.

Martin Smarty may have been putty in Shego's hands, but now Shego was surely putty in the hands of Dr. Drakken.If he'd known this was all it took to make her more agreeable, maybe he'd have done it sooner. This was much more effective than any hour-long lecture. Not to mention that her small, warm foot felt nice in his hand, her leg on his knee an oddly reassuring weight…

"What?" Shego asked sharply, sitting up to peer distrustfully at him. "Did you say something?"

Drakken blinked nervously at her, caught. Okay, so maybe she wasn't that easily deterred. "Uh, I…I just said 'talk about pudding from France'…!" He blurted, grasping at straws.

Shego sent him a look that branded him a certified nutcase as far as she was concerned. "Why in the world would you say that?"

"I have no idea," He replied truthfully, looking a bit befuddled, and she settled down after sending him another you're-a-loon kind of glance. Drakken breathed a quiet breath of relief; sometimes, there were apparently certain advantages to the fact that she seemed to think he was occasionally a basket and an ant hill short of a picnic.

It was such a strange occasion, he thought as he rubbed her feet, yet so natural. What with all the accidents they got into and all the long work days they put in, in a way it was really rather strange that they hadn't done something like this before. Drakken, at least, knew that he'd longed for a neck rub or a foot rub many a time after a plan failed, but unlike Shego, he didn't think to squander his money on spas.

Also, he realized, this was one of the few times he'd touched her instead of vice versa. She was always poking and prodding and pushing at him, pulling his hair or pinching his cheeks, but he usually just kept away from her, knowing he'd only get a good helping of green fire for his troubles if he ever tried something like the stunts she usually pulled, and not really having any real desire to do it besides. He'd never been a very touchy-feely kind of person.

Tonight, however, he'd seen her moan about her swollen feet and had felt the urge to help her. And he'd felt something…unfamiliar when it came to her. Something that had been triggered by her talking about Martin Smarty. Something that had been part of what made him reach out and take her foot. An almost…possessive streak had gone through him.

And he'd had a confusing and rather petty thought: Martin Smarty? Well, at least I have hair

"When I go like this," he murmured absent-mindedly, using his knuckles on her instep, "It's supposed to be good for your back."

"Yeah?" Shego picked up a throw pillow and shoved it behind her neck, deciding to make herself more comfortable as she was determined to let this massage go on for a while before she'd allow him to stop. This was almost as good as a spa.

"Yeah, I read that somewhere," Drakken said, nodding slowly.

"Mm," Shego grunted, nodding as well.

And having someone touch her with care, even if it was just her feet, satisfied a need in her that had been building lately and wouldn't leave her alone, a yawning abyss of deprived emotions that demanded to be fulfilled. A need that had almost made her kiss Martin Smarty, she thought to herself, shuddering mentally.

It wasn't that he'd been repulsive or anything; in fact he'd been kind of cute in a gentlemanly, obscenely rich, bald-headed, non-evil kind of way, but she didn't know him at all and she'd been prepared to stoop so low as to kiss the guy just to worm her way into his wallet? It couldn't have just been the money, she thought, a crease forming on her brow, because she could've gotten them very easily. It had to have been something else, it had to have been the fact that she was getting lonely and just a little bit starved for affection, which was inexcusable and embarrassing for someone who was supposed to be so independent as her, but there you had it, and she hatedhatedhated the fact—

A little innocent TLC from her good ol' Dr. D. was kind of all right, though, and didn't put her at any risk of compromising her pride.

Closing her eyes and concentrating on the soothing feel of Drakken's fingers on her foot, she let her thoughts wander idly…

...until a rather disturbing thought resurfaced in her. A thought about a certain rich guy's bratty offspring.

"Drakken, um...just wondering..." She began uncertainly. "I mean, you're kind of an old guy and everything..."

Drakken froze for a second before looking up at her with a scowl. "Thank you ever so much." That's all he needed right after his forty-second birthday and after his mother had been nagging him more than usual lately. That's all he needed; being called old by a relatively young, attractive woman. Even if it was just Shego.

She groaned. "You know what I mean. I'm just wondering, since you're at that age and everything...what do you think of kids? Ever wanted any?"

"Ugh, no, don't remind me." he shook his head, grimacing. "Mother called the other day."

She failed to see the big deal. "And…?"

"And apparently she's reached that age where she's started getting desperate for grandchildren." He told her gloomily. She'd been going on and on about how all her friends had grandchildren already, never even stopping to consider that her pressuring and her guilt tripping might only be making the idea of starting a family seem even less appealing to him than before.

Comprehension dawned on Shego. "And what with you being an only child…?"

He nodded sadly. "Yes. The responsibility all falls to me." This certainly wasn't the first time he'd wished for a sibling, but he hadn't thought about it much since he was a child, and he'd never wanted one as much as he did right then—especially an older sibling, so it wouldn't be his job to provide the grandchildren first— if only because it might keep his mother off of his back.

Shego raised her eyebrows. "She does know you're still single, right?"

He winced at that; and yes, here came the other nice reminder that only served to make him feel even older. Here he was, at forty-two, and he didn't even have a girlfriend, let alone a wife and kids— that was the mantra his mother loved to repeat for him, anyway. "A fact that also featured quite heavily in the conversation, yes." He said tightly.

"Well," Shego began, with exaggerated cheerfulness, "Why don't you just clone yourself if she wants grandchildren?"

He sat up abruptly, his face brightening momentarily, but soon slumped back down into his seat, burrowing his chin in his arms, leaning forward to his knees, seemingly forgetting that her legs were still there, resting his face against her bare calves in mental anguish. "Nah, wouldn't work." He mumbled, then, and Shego almost jumped as his lips and the vibrations of his voice unintentionally tickled her naked skin. "She'd still expect me to be married."

Shego sighed, not even bothering to point out that she'd only been joking in the first place. She should've known; she should be used to his eccentric thought processes by now. He just saw reality in a slightly different way than her; cloning was something he could pull off at the drop of a hat, so it would be a very real solution to him— he just completely failed to see the ridiculousness of making it the solution to this problem.

She rolled her eyes as she realized that he was getting depressed thinking about his mother's complaints, and that there probably wouldn't be any more foot massage. It looked like it was her job to perk him up again like always. Besides, her feet felt all better now, anyway.

Pushing at his shoulder so he sat back up, she swung her legs off of his lap. "Come on, turn around," she commanded, tapping his shoulder with a finger.

Drakken gave her a look of complete disorientation. "Turn around...?"

"Turn around," she repeated sternly, simply taking him by the shoulders and swivelling him around on the spot, as easily as if he was just a doll or something.

"What are you—"He began to object, but fell abruptly silent as she unexpectedly started rubbing his neck, working her nimble fingers into the ever-present stress knots there. Slowly, his shoulders descended.

"That's right, Chief," she said, chuckling behind him, "I'm not gonna throttle you."

"Oooh, I can't tell you how good that feels," He sighed, slumping just slightly forward. "Those knots have been there so long I hardly even notice them anymore..." He'd been surprised that she'd do something like this in the first place, but now that he was convinced it wasn't some kind of trick, he was quickly relaxing. He'd just given both of her feet a thorough massage, so it was only reasonable that she do something in return, right? Not that he'd expected her to, but still—

Oh, that felt nice, it felt almost like that time when— it felt nice. She knew what she was doing; although she couldn't imagine her having done this very often for other people, but then what did he know about her private life? Had she ever had a boyfriend whom she'd given a neck rub to, or was she just a natural? And why should he even wonder? A neck rub was a neck rub and they were a rarity for him, so he should just stop worrying and enjoy it...

Drakken had always been much more blunt and forward than her when it came to the softer kind of emotions, but still it surprised Shego and made her squirm just a little when he praised her so openly, letting himself enjoy the neck rub with such abandon; Shego paused for half a second before continuing the massage, pressing both her thumbs into bundles of stress on each side of his neck, showing no mercy in forcing them to retreat.

"I don't know if I even want to have any children, anyway," he said then, twitching slightly at the rough treatment his neck was getting, but then groaning in contentment at the results, as the knots started unravelling. "I mean, I can't even take care of a dog."

"I don't even know if I like kids." Shego confessed, subjecting his still stiff neck to gentle little strikes with the side of her hands, like little judo chops, tendering him up. "I don't think I do. They kind of give me the creeps, to be honest."

"Me, too." He agreed vaguely, a relaxed hum in his throat as she worked her not-so-green magic on the tender muscles in his neck and shoulders.

"They're annoying..." She started, and he could easily recognize the beginning of a ranting list when he heard one.

"Loud, hyperactive..." He supplied.

"Too much responsibility..." She continued, rubbing his skin with her fingertips, her touches growing lighter as she began feeling a bit tired.

"Whiny, selfish..." He nodded, sighing with contentment.

"Bratty, rude, insolent..." She pointed out as she yawned a little, her massage losing its force almost completely.

"Horrible..."He mumbled half-heartedly, leaning back a little to nudge her fingers into action again.

"Yeah..."Shego nodded sleepily, yawning again; she'd already been sure that she'd made the right decision about ditching Martin Smarty, no matter how much money he had, and no matter if she'd felt a little lonely with Drakken running off with Frugal Lucre, but now she felt even better about the decision. Nothing was worth that; she'd just been momentarily distracted by the lure of property and tons of cold, hard cash. Besides, the men who usually flirted with her had never really treated her like that or plied her with that many gifts, so she'd lost her head for a second. Kid or no kid, however, she knew she'd have been back to an exciting life of crime in a matter of a week or so, anyway.

Even if Drakken often had financial troubles, at least he provided her with a daily life that was anything but boring. He made ordinary, day-to-day stuff into something bizarre, his evil schemes were insane, and their conversations were like verbal sparring. And at least he has hair, she added to herself, as her fingers grazed his ponytail; it was a thought that came out of nowhere.

Not to mention that he gave the best...foot rubs...ever...

With a soft thump, her hands fell from his neck and her head dropped onto the back of the couch, and she could feel herself falling asleep already. It'd been a long day.

"...Shego?"

He looked at her for a while before he realized that she was actually asleep and not faking it.

Biting his lip, he watched her uncertainly. What was he supposed to do now?

Carry her to her room?

No, that would only earn him her contempt as she would, what with his luck, inevitably wake up right at some kind of embarrassing moment, misinterpreting the situation. That's how it always happened in the movies, anyway.

But she couldn't just lie there like that, either, in nothing but her dress, her arms and legs bare and her feet uncovered. She'd get sick or something.

Besides, she'd done it for him, once...

Sighing, he picked up the blanket from the couch and draped it across her. She squirmed a bit, but looked otherwise peaceful.

It was strange to watch her sleep. He'd really only seen it once before, and then he'd been too busy being annoyed at her jack hammer snoring. The lines of her face were slack with sleep, her mocking, amused expression gone. Leaning down, he carefully tucked the blanket around her body. She sighed in her sleep and turned her head.

"Stupid, blue man," she mumbled suddenly, and he had to glance at her face to confirm that she was still asleep. She was. "Never, he always..." she yawned. "Stupid...with the thing...why can't he ever..."

Drakken blinked. Okay, what she'd just said made about as much sense to him as a drunken person speaking Chinese, but it didn't surprise him that she'd talked about him in her sleep. Several times, he'd recorded his own sleep talk just in case he had some ingenious idea for a plot in his sleep, and while no groundbreaking scheme had so far been forthcoming, he'd been amused but not really surprised to find that he told off Shego even while he slept. It wasn't that odd, really— yelling at Shego was just such a deeply rooted habit with him.

And apparently, she did it, too.

Which was strangely reassuring on some sort of level.

"Good night." He said, patting her on the head.

She wrinkled her nose and swatted at his hand as if it was a fly. "Blah...so stupid...Dr. D, you jerk...never knows...he thinks he can just...meh..."

He grinned a bit as he walked away to his room.


TBC.

Author's note: Thanks again to my awesome beta, Zoza. This time I really needed a beta, LOL.

Why did I make the Doc criminally good at foot rubs? Well, why not? After all, we don't know that he isn't. Heh.

Yup, I think Drakken and Shego are both too selfish and immature to have kids. Maybe later. In a few years. If they ever feel like it. Meh. The avid reader will have picked up on the fact that the list of adjectives that Drakken and Shego used to describe children with can easily be applied to them, too.

This chapter is set after Clean Slate and during and after Mentor of Our Discontent.