I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS
No Time
The rest of Team Kakashi was having trouble keeping up with Naruto as they travel to Tenchi Bridge.
Kakashi: Slow down. We have time, Naruto.
Naruto: No, I don't.
Sakura: Why are you in such a rush?
Naruto: I've gotta get back to Hinata.
He continues to ignore them so they decide to let it go and continue struggling to keep pace until they reach the bridge.
Naruto: We're here.
Kakashi: We only have this information because of Sasori so we have to make it count.
Sakura: What's the plan?
Kakashi: We wait until Sasori's contact appears before we make our move.
The sit in the bushes until a cloaked figure appears on the bridge.
Kakashi: Okay, I'll transform into Sasori and...where's Naruto?
Sakura: Over there, what is he doing?
Naruto marches out to the bridge and faces off with the cloaked figure who turns out to be Kabuto.
Kabuto: What are you doing here, Naruto?
Naruto: This.
Thousands of clones appear and overtakes Kabuto, they carry him from the bridge and toss him at the feet of Team Kakashi.
Naruto: Where's Sasuke?
Voice: Oh, my, are you still looking for Sasuke?
Kakashi: That voice.
Orochimaru appears with a smirk on his face.
Orochimaru: So, you want to know wher…
Before he could finish his sentence, the clones attack.
Sakura: Yeesh, you hear those fists?
Kakashi: Naruto really wants Sasuke back.
When the clones finish, they drag Orochimaru next to Kabuto.
Naruto: Now, I'm gonna ask one more time. Where's Sasuke?
Orochimaru: He's in my lair.
Naruto: Where?
Orochimaru: Just through this forest.
Naruto: You stay here and watch them, I'll go get Sasuke.
He leaves them behind and hurries through the forest until he reaches Orochimaru's lair, he mutters to himself as he scours the lair in search of Sasuke.
Naruto: Gotta get back to Hinata, gotta get back to Hinata.
He searches every room with no sign of Sasuke until he reaches the last room.
Naruto: This has gotta be it, just hold on Hinata.
He opens the door and finds nothing.
Naruto: Damn it!
Voice: Are you looking for me, idiot?
Naruto: Sasuke?
He turns around and finds his old rival staring at him.
Sasuke: Didn't we already go through this? I'm not going b...
A clone of Naruto comes up from behind and hits in the head with a rock. The real Naruto looks at the clone.
Naruto: That's the best you could do?
Clone: You want to get back, don't you?
Naruto: Look, I don't need a dead Sasuke.
Clone: Why not? We should've killed him at the Valley of the End.
Naruto: You really think that?
Clone: No, you think that, I'm just saying it out loud.
Naruto: Anyway, I need him alive because things will probably be weird between Hinata, Sakura, and I if he's not around.
Clone: Well, he's gonna die if we don't get him out of here.
Naruto: Okay, pick him up.
They pick him up to take him out of the lair when a thought creeps into Naruto's mind.
Naruto: Hey, does arguing with your own shadow clone make you crazy?
Clone: Pretty much.
He takes Sasuke back to Team Kakashi.
Sakura: You did it, Naruto.
Kakashi: I guess that's mission accomplished.
Naruto: Yeah, good job everyone. Especially, you, Sai with the standing there doing nothing.
They travel back to the Leaf Village and hand their captives over to the proper authorities in the Hokage's office.
Tsunade: Good job, everyone.
Kakashi: You should really tell Naruto that, he did all of the work.
Tsunade: I hope he doesn't hit on me, again. Naruto…Naruto?
Sakura: Where'd he go?
Naruto was speeding around the Leaf Village trying to track down Hinata, having no luck he decides to ask every person he sees.
Naruto: Do you know Hinata? I need to talk to her about something, just a little something. Do you know her? No.
His luck turns when he runs into Kiba and Akamaru.
Naruto: Yo, where's Hinata?
Kiba: I'm actually on my way to meet her at the training grounds, come on.
They go to the training grounds and find Hinata with Shino, she immediately begins blushing and pointing her fingers together when she sees him.
Kiba: Hey, Hinata, Naruto's been looking for you.
Hinata: R, really, Naruto?
Naruto: Uh, yeah.
Hinata: W, well, what did you want to see me about?
Feeling incredibly nervous and intimidated by the gravity of the situation, Naruto forces word out of his mouth.
Naruto: Well, sometimes at my house, I eat at night and I hear that other people like to eat too so do you want to eat too?
Hinata: Huh?
Shino: He wants to know if you would have dinner with him.
Hinata: S, sure.
Naruto: Great!
Hinata: When?
Naruto: Uh, I was thinking about after the sun goes down today, if that's alright with you.
Hinata: Uh, Shino?
Shino: He wants to have dinner tonight if you're available.
Hinata: Okay.
Naruto: Alright, meet me at my place at 7:00.
He takes off as happy as can be going back to his apartment, he walks in and realizes how inadequate his apartment is for the date.
Naruto: Man, I've gotta get this place ready. I know just where to go too.
He travels to a village where he can buy some supplies for the night.
Naruto: Okay, "love" scented candles. They never told me what the hell love scent is but this stuff works.
He moves on to other merchants.
Naruto: Pina Colada Butt Lotion? I don't think Hinata's that type of girl but just in case.
He finishes shopping and heads back to the Leaf Village, on the way he encounters a four on two shinobi battle. Upon further inspection, he realizes that it's Shikamaru, Asuma, Kotetsu, and Izumo vs. two members of Akatsuki.
Naruto: Hey, what's goin' on?
Shikamaru: Naruto? What are you doing here?
Naruto: I was just doing some shopping.
Asuma: I know this isn't your mission but could you back us up until the others get here?
Naruto: Sure.
Hidan: You stupid fucks, I doesn't matter who helps you. You'll never be able to escape Jashin.
Naruto: Jashin? You mean the Evil God religion?
Hidan: Yeah, you know it?
Naruto: Oh, I have an interest in religion and its effects on people. Now, I've heard that the Jashin religion has a way to immortality.
Hidan: Yeah, you're looking at it.
Naruto: Seriously?
Asuma: Yeah, I cut this guy's head off and he's still alive.
Naruto: Wow, it's refreshing to find a religion that actually does what it says it does.
Hidan: Yeah.
Naruto: So, what is the doctrine of your religion?
Hidan: Well, absolute destruction.
Naruto: Really?
Hidan: If I'm engaged in a battle and I don't kill everyone, it's a sin.
Kakuzu: Oh, boy. Not another one of those religious nuts.
Naruto: So, you're not into religion?
Kakuzu: No.
Naruto: Well, it is said that religion in the drug of the people. So what do you believe in?
Kakuzu: Cold hard cash.
Hidan: And cheap ugly women.
Naruto: Cash, huh? I heard that, but you're missing out on something.
Kakuzu: What's that?
Naruto: You know all of the tithes and offerings in religion?
Kakuzu: All tax free.
Kakuzu: Really?
Shikamaru and the others watch as Naruto spends the next hour discussion the finer points of the religion and finances with Hidan and Kakuzu, they notice Naruto shaking hands with the both of them and coming over as they leave.
Asuma: You're just letting them go?
Shikamaru: Naruto, they're the enemy.
Naruto: Not anymore, we talked it out and they're quitting the Akatsuki to start they're on Temple of Jashin with Hidan as head priest and Kakuzu as the Chief Financial Officer.
Shikamaru: Okay, I guess. What have you got there?
Naruto: Oh, just some provisions for my date tonight.
Shikamaru: With whom?
Naruto: Hinata.
Asuma: Oh, you finally found out she likes you?
Kotetsu: Well, it's about time.
Izumo: Seriously.
