The Curse
Chapter 11
"AH, the BEAUTY of this SPRING day ABOUNDS on this Wondrous Landscape! Isn't it a JOY to be ALIVE and in the SPRINGTIME OF OUR YOUTH on such a GLORIOUS DAY!" A voice bellowed from a clearing in the forest.
"It's not spring, Gai, and it's cold and rainy." One sullen companion pointed out.
"And we're being devoured by these mosquitoes. There isn't a 'glorious' thing about this mission." Another added. The three ninja emerged, Maito Gai with great flourish (and incredible lighting, without even seeming to extend any effort), his two chuunin mission-mates staggering along behind him, glaring at the back of his bowl-cut head. Hey, they'd had to travel to the border of Sound at Gai-speed, so they were entitled.
"Not GLORIOUS! But can't you Smell the SCENT of BATTLE here? SWEAT caught up in this GENTLE Evening Breeze, it INSPIRES me to MANLY TEARS!" Manly tears indeed appeared in Gai's sparkling eyes. The chuunin groaned.
"That's just nasty, Gai! Get some deodorant, man!" They shouted.
The Beautiful Beast looked appalled. "You think that a mere JOG like that would be enough to make ME, Maito Gai, SWEAT? Oh, such is the NAIVEITY OF YOUTH!" Cue more manly tears.
The tears disappeared as abruptly as they had appeared, and Gai's (beautifully manly) face became deadly serious.
"There was a FIERCE and HEART-POUNDING BATTLE here, my Youthful Comrades. Observe these Footprints of the Attackers. Oh, HOW ARTFULLY they move. It's like a HIP and MODERN Dance!" Gai shook his hips to emphasize his point. His chuunin teammates would have been most upset by this, but they were following the tracks as well.
"This is amazing. It must have been eight against one."
"But there was obviously a great difference in skill. Look how this one guy was dancing around them. He moves exactly the way they do. Incredible!"
Gai's Youthful brain spun. 'HIP and MODERN'…'moves exactly the way they do'…
Gai followed the tracks of the man being attacked more closely. Yes, the form, the size, even the indentations that suggested the stance, they all matched his ETERNAL RIVAL. Kakashi couldn't have left his mark more clearly if he'd signed his signature underneath them.
The green spandex-clad jounin quickly cleaned the clearing of all traces of the battle and hurried along to where the tracks led. If it was indeed his Hip and Modern Rival, and he was using the Sharingan, there wasn't any time to lose.
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Nine bodies were soon turned up by the trio of Konoha ninja. There were dragged and lined up, side by side to be disposed of. The two chuunin uncorked their bottles of acid to start dissolving their faces, but Gai stopped them with a gesture.
"Something here is not as it Appears." He told them enigmatically. He walked down the line, past the eight dead Stone Nin and hovered over the ninth, a Sound Nin. He placed two Youthful fingers at the Nin's neck and counted slowly. At the last possible moment, he felt a weak pulse.
"This Persevering Paladin still lives." He said.
"Well, he's unconscious, and he won't be alive after this." One chuunin said, brandishing his bottle.
"If he's unconscious, he won't feel it." The other added.
Gai stared at the nin. It certainly didn't feel like a disguise, but his Finely Honed Instincts screamed that something about this Ninja was more than it appeared. He remembered the tracks. Gai leaned down over the Sound Nin and pried open his left eye-lid. Sure enough, the familiar blood-red Sharingan whirled beneath it.
"You won't be killing this Shinobi today." He proclaimed. He pulled the body away from the line of the dead and carried it to the chuunin.
"I need you to Dispel this Illusion. Those sorts of things have never been my Specialty."
The chuunin worked together to remove the high-powered illusion that enveloped the unconscious nin in Gai's arms. Once the disguise faded, Sharingan-no-Kakashi was left. Gai shifted him around until the pale jounin was on his back.
"I must Deliver my ETERNAL RIVAL to our FAIR AND ILLUSTRIOUS HOKAGE, BRAVE COMPANIONS! I will Trust you to Dispose of these Fallen Warriors! I will RETURN within the Hour, or I will climb the Highest Tree in Konoha, without chakra, using only my TOES!"
Two stunned chuunin waited until the cloud of dust that Gai had kicked up in his haste to clear. They blinked.
"…he's crazy." One finally said.
"Brilliant, but absolutely nuts." The other agreed. They set about their business, disposing of the corpses. As a precaution, they cast a dispelling jutsu on each before beginning. They had almost disposed of one high-ranking ally that day, thank you, and they weren't taking any risks.
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A little over an hour after she had spoken with Iruka, Tsunade wasn't surprised when Maito Gai came charging into her office when he was supposed to be on a infiltration mission in Sound; nothing about that man was capable of shocking her anymore. She simply accepted that there was no logic in the world when it came to Gai, and moved on. The thing that did surprise her was slumped on Gai's back.
"Where'd you find the brat?" She asked. She didn't stop the important Hokage-business she'd been working on when Gai had burst in; she kept right on layering her second coat of ruby red nail polish.
"I located my Esteemed Rival along the border of that Accursed village of Sound. He fell after defeating Eight Enemies of that Nefarious Village of Stone." Gai gently set Kakashi down on Tsunade's desk and gazed anxiously at the clock.
"Thank you, Gai. You're dismissed." As soon as the words left her mouth, Gai shot out of her office. Once the whirlwind of papers died down, Tsunade capped her nail polish and examined the unconscious ninja.
"What have you gotten yourself into, brat?" She mused. There was a moment of silence, before Tsunade began channeling her chakra into the Copy Nin.
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Kakashi opened a single eye and groaned at the onslaught of light. Everything hurt. Damn, he must have gone and overused his Sharingan again. He tried to close his eye and go back to sleep.
"Oh no you don't! You damn well better have a good explanation for turning up half-dead two villages away from where you were supposed to be!" The voice was Tsunade's; no one else in the village would have the balls to shake him like that and yell in his ear when he was trying to sleep.
Kakashi groggily fumbled the pocket of his vest and produced the scroll he'd been sent to find. "Here, take it and leave me alone." He grumbled. He needed to sleep for a few days to replenish the energy Obito's eye had used. Tsunade, though, wasn't going to be that kind.
"WAKE UP!" She yelled.
"I'll write a mission report on it later." Kakashi whined, trying to block out the ear-shattering screams of his Hokage.
Tsunade switched tactics. "You need to wake up, brat. Iruka was in here earlier, asking about you. He'd probably worried out of his mind right now."
Kakashi shot up from Tsunade's desk, but slumped down again as his energy failed him. "Iruka…I've got to get to him."
Kakashi examined himself quickly. He couldn't let Iruka know how close he'd come to death. Tsunade had healed the scars from the fight, and the swelling in his leg had gone down, so the only signs of his injury were his burnt hand (neatly bandaged) and his sheer exhaustion.
"Here, brat." Tsunade said, handing him a chakra pill. "This will give you enough energy to get up and find him. I expect you to rest, though, and I want a full report on what went wrong tomorrow." Kakashi smiled at her gratefully and lowered his mask to pop the pill. Energy immediately filled his depleted body. The jounin hopped off of the desk and out the window.
Tsunade uncapped her nail polish and started on her third coat.
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Kakashi traversed the village with a speed that left his recovering body dizzy. He leaned up against the door of Iruka's apartment and waited for Konoha's bachelor apartments to stop spinning.
'Good. Now, time to ask Iruka to see the Icha Icha movie with me.' Kakashi knocked on the door, but no sexy chuunin appeared. The silver-haired man let himself in.
"Iruka?" Kakashi called quietly into the empty apartment. No one answered. Kakashi looked around. The apartment was cleaner than the last time he'd seen it, but he still couldn't locate the one thing he was looking for. He peered into each room. Nothing.
"Maybe he's out in the village somewhere…" Kakashi decided. He turned to leave.
"Mew." A tiny sound halted his movement. The jounin turned. Iruka's little nin-kitten crawled out from under his couch and jumped into Kakashi's arms. Something felt off about the small cat. It didn't have the chuunin's chakra signal on it. Iruka hadn't summoned the cat- the animal must have appeared on its own.
"Umm, cat? Can you tell me where Iruka is?" Kakashi asked. The kitten flicked its paw towards Iruka's linen closet, the disappeared. Kakashi crept up to it and slid the door open.
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Iruka wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there in the darkness, but when someone opened the door and light came flooding through, it stung his eyes and blinded him for a moment.
"Iruka, what are you doing in there?" asked the silhouette standing at the doorframe.
"Kakashi?" Iruka hesitated.
"Yes, it's me." Kakashi affirmed.
Iruka pounced on him. "What happened? Why were you so late?" He asked, not ceasing for so troublesome a thing as air. "Are you hurt?" Before Kakashi had time to respond (read: lie), Iruka was checking him over.
Iruka was almost hysterical, and he didn't listen to Kakashi's response. Finally the older man shoved him away and pinned him against the wall.
"Iruka, I'm fine." He said slowly, letting the words penetrate the panicked haze Iruka had plunged into. "I had to take a slight detour on my mission, but I'm back now, and I'm not hurt." If Kakashi chose to leave out those hours that he had lain in enemy territory, unconscious and completely vulnerable to any sort of attack, he only did so to keep Iruka calm. Ok, maybe the part about Iruka not seeing him anymore if he showed signs of being cursed had a tiny bit to do with it…
Iruka's hands trailed up and down every inch of Kakashi's body, seeking out wounds that, thankfully, Tsunade had alleviated completely, and Kakashi just stood there until Iruka was satisfied. The chuunin's scrutiny lingered on the bandaged hand longer than anywhere else.
"What happened?" He asked quietly.
Kakashi's eye closed and went into his signature smile. "Just a little mishap with an exploding tag. Sorry, but I can't give you the details." Everyone in the village had routine mishaps with exploding tags. Iruka nodded, and released his hand.
"Mind telling me why you were hiding out in your closet?" Kakashi asked sternly. He wisely chose to keep all the 'in the closet' jokes floating around in his head to himself, and ended up sounding like a parent talking to a small child when he spoke to Iruka.
"I thought I'd-…I thought you weren't coming back." He finally admitted. Iruka looked down at his feet, off to the side, and anywhere else he could to avoid catching Kakashi's eye.
"Well, I'm back now, so there's nothing to worry about!" Kakashi declared. He started to brush the dust that was clinging to Iruka's clothing off of him (AN: lucky dust!).
"Iruka, what're you wearing?" He asked incredulously as he actually looked at what was under the dust-bunnies. Iruka looked down. His black pants were now dusty grey, and his shirt was wrinkled and torn.
"Sorry. 'must look awful." He mumbled.
"You look fuckable." Kakashi murmured. Iruka blushed.
"I-I just wanted to look nice for our picnic." He stammered.
"What picnic?" Kakashi asked, wondering how he could have forgotten something that would let him spend more time with Iruka.
"Ah, the-the one I planned while you were gone, for when you got back. I packed a basket and everything." Iruka told him. The chuunin sighed. "It was a dumb idea. I'm stupid for getting so upset."
"No, it's a great idea. We can go right now." Kakashi said, hoping to get rid of that forlorn expression on his chuunin's face.
"But, it's dark already. We can't go on a picnic in the dark!" Iruka protested.
"Why not. I'm hungry. Aren't you?" Iruka's stomach chose this opportune moment to growl hungrily. Kakashi smiled. "Let's go!"
Iruka's lips turned up in a shaky smile, which quickly dropped. "I left the basket in the mission room! There's no way it could have survived that long in there."
"We'll have to go see." Kakashi said, pulling Iruka out of his apartment and toward the mission room, ready to destroy anyone or anything that came between himself, Iruka, and their little outing.
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Anko dropped the final dango as she felt a murderous rage fill the room. 'Oh shit!' she thought. She thought about making a break for the window, but instinct warned her not to move and make a target of herself.
One pissed off Umino Iruka entered the room, followed by one angry Hatake Kakashi. Anko meeped. Before that moment she wasn't even aware that there was a verb 'to meep', but that was the only way she could describe the pathetic sound that broke from her throat.
"This isn't my fault, Iruka! I swear! These guys led me astray with dango! You know I can't resist dango! Please don't kill me!" She begged shamelessly.
"Genma made us do it!" Asuma wailed.
"He told us it was free food from the Hokage!" the mission room chuunin sobbed, terrified, and rightly so, for his life.
"We wouldn't have even touched it if Genma hadn't brought it out!" Raido tattled.
Genma screamed and ducked under the Mission Room desk. "I'll get you guys for this!" he yelled at his partners-in-crime.
Anko huddled into the corner and watched as Iruka descended upon Genma in his almighty fury. Kakashi walked over to the ravished picnic basket and quietly packed up the remnants of the food Iruka had lovingly prepared. It might have just been the overwhelming fear Anko felt at the moment, but she thought he looked a little pale, and he was definitely avoiding looking at the angry chuunin.
Then Iruka moved on to his next victim and Anko was too terrified to worry about anyone else in the room.
By the time the two left, half-empty basket in hand, each of the culprits bore a huge bump on their heads, an Iruka-foot sized sandal-print on their backsides, and emotional scarring that would given Ibiki an orgasm. They pulled out a spare scroll and signed a blood oath to never piss off Iruka again.
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"This has got to be the most pathetic date I've ever been on." Iruka whispered to Kakashi later on with a slight laugh. The jounin thought he detected the same hysterical tone as before.
"Hey, this isn't so bad." He whispered back. Yes, most of their food had been eaten by greedy jounin, so they'd had to grab some take-out ramen on the way, and yes, it was completely dark, with an overcast sky even blocking out the would-be romantic sight of the stars, and yes, Iruka was still wearing his torn, dust covered clothes and Kakashi his sweat-stained uniform. But none of that mattered when they were leaning against each other, sipping up their ramen, close enough for either to steal a kiss whenever he chose.
"No, maybe not. 'S not like I planned, though." Iruka said.
"Life usually isn't" Kakashi noted sagely. Iruka smacked his shoulder.
"Don't make fun of me!" He hissed. Kakashi chuckled.
"I don't think the others made it down to your dessert. Care for a slice of cake, Iruka?" Kakashi asked, pulling out the little cake that had somehow survived the gluttonous attack in the Mission Room.
Iruka leaned over and stole a bite of Kakashi's piece.
"Oh, you want MY cake?" Kakashi asked with an evil smirk. "Here!" He shoved the cake into Iruka's mouth, smearing icing all over his face in the process. Iruka retaliated by diving onto the jounin and using tickle-no-jutsu until the older man flipped them over and pinned his hands by his side.
"Mmrf!" Iruka said, voice still muffled by Kakashi's cake. He swallowed and tried again. "Bastard!"
"Why am I a bastard?" Kakashi asked smugly, liking the position he was in very much. Maybe even a little too much, Tsunade's order of rest be damned.
"Because you're not ticklish."
"Everyone's ticklish somewhere. You just have to find the right spot." Kakashi proclaimed.
"So where's your tickle-spot, then?" Iruka challenged. Kakashi grinned and grabbed one of Iruka's free hands. He guided it down his body and left it resting between his legs.
"Right there. Go ahead, test it!" Kakashi prompted. Iruka jerked his hand free and smacked the jounin on the shoulder again.
"Pervert!" He yelled. His face turned red and his scar went pale, Kakashi noticed. He leaned down and licked away some of the frosting that was still smeared on the chuunin's cheeks.
"Well you can't expect me to just tell you my weakness, now can you? You're going to have to find it yourself if you really want to know where it is." Kakashi whispered.
"Fine!" Iruka hissed. The search commenced.
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Kakashi hadn't shown any signs of ticklishness on his stomach, but Iruka figured there was as good a place to start as any. He stripped the Copy Nin of his vest and shirt and trailed titillating fingers over washboard abs and around the trail of silver hair that started at a round belly-button. The teacher heard Kakashi's breathe catch, but he didn't think it had much to do with being ticklish. He ignored it and moved up the pale chest. He could feel the rapid thumping of a heart beneath his hands as he continued his search.
Iruka moved higher still. Tan fingers wrapped around a pale neck and caressed gently. The shinobi tensed as he felt hands in a chocking position, but forced himself to relax. Iruka rewarded him with a kiss and then nibbled on his ear lobe. Alas, though. Kakashi's neck did not hold the hidden tickle-spot that Iruka sought. The chuunin left a bite-mark in his wake, to teach that neck a lesson or two about not being ticklish.
As he contemplated his strategy, Iruka let his arms wrap around Kakashi and his hands trail casually up and down his back. Kakashi trembled.
A demonic glow lit up Iruka's eyes as he flipped Kakashi over and straddled his back. He paused for a moment, hands poised as if he were some great pianist about to play his masterpiece. Then Iruka descended upon him. Fingertips met muscled shoulders and inched down slowly. Kakashi twitched. When Iruka reached the jounin's shoulder blades, the copy nin began thrashing. At first Iruka thought he'd hurt the other man somehow, before he realized that those sobs for air were an attempt to keep the laughter in, and the bucking was desperate try to dislodge him. Iruka drew a tiny circle between the two shoulder blades with a single finger.
"Stop!" Kakashi gasped. He twitched again.
Iruka smirked. He licked the space where his finger had been just a moment before. Kakashi shuddered.
"Kakashi!" Iruka whispered into the other man's ear in a sing-song voice.
"Mmh?" Kakashi responded. Iruka was still touching his back, and it was hard to talk.
"I think I found it." Iruka grinned again. Kakashi's hands shot out and captured Iruka's wrists. The silver-haired man twisted around and Iruka found himself sitting in his lap, face to face.
"Does that mean I get to look for yours now?" Kakashi's voice was husky, and the unusual deepness of it made Iruka shiver. He nodded. A hand snuck under the cloth that covered Iruka's skin and a second later, a scandalized gasp filled the momentary silence.
"Kakashi! I don't think you're going to find my ticklish spot there!"
Kakashi nuzzled into Iruka's neck and shifted his hand. A second gasp punctuated Iruka's not-so-stern sounding scold.
"Hey, you said I could look." Kakashi pointed out. Iruka nodded again, and Kakashi continued his 'search'.
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AN: There will be a LEMON between this chapter and the next, which you can read on the KakaIru livejournal, Aarinfantasy, ShinobiSex (when I get around to posting this there), or you can get by e-mailing me (or asking in a review, I'm really not picky how I get the message, as long as it's gotten). Just a note, though. I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IT YET! SO DON'T E-MAIL ME UNTIL IT'S WRITTEN. I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN IT'S READY.I am going to get writing after I take a short break, but I've spent all day writing this chapter, and I have homework to do.
On a lighter note, writing Gai into this chapter made me happy. I usually never get to use my CAPSLOCK key, and I've kind of gone CAPS HAPPY!
Oh, and one more funny thing. Poor, prudish Microsoft Word doesn't seem to think fuckable is a word. Faceable is, however… Oh, the strange things spell-check would do to my stories if I let it go free… Maybe I should get myself a beta, if my spell-check is that unreliable.
PS- I didn't get any reviews for chapter 11. Yes, it was short and full of crack, but that's still mean! Grrrr. There, I growled at you. Consider yourselves punished.
