/Sawyer POV/

Chapter Song: The Best Day - Taylor Swift

After dancing, James and I decided to bring the party back to my house. Not that it was much of a party. We're pooped. I'm sure we spent this much time together before Charles and I broke up, but why does it feel like James is my 24/7 companion. He's my bestfriend, sure. But, did we really spend this much time together? Have we always been this close? Lying on opposite ends of the couch, propped on each other. No wonder Cyrus might of thought that something could be going on between James and me.

But, it's not been like that for us. Do you ever just enjoy someone's presence? Like, it's not about doing something all the time, but to be able to just sit in silence together? Doing absolutely nothing is absolutely fine. Nothing is expected when you lay next together to watch a movie.

"Have you heard anything from you parents?" He speaks up. I didn't realize how close to sleep I was. My eyes flutter open and force close again.

"Personally, no. Logan said that Mom has tried asking but really just beats around the bush. Dad not so much. Of course, I don't think that Dad wants to think that I am even old enough to braid my own hair, much less go on dates and further on."

"That's still not an excuse to not talk to you. You're their daughter and that's their first grandchild."

Our legs bump as we readjust to sit up. "It's not theirs if I don't keep the baby."

"Right. But, even if there's the slightest chance that you keep him or her; they'll regret missing out on you and the baby."

"The greatest chances are that I'm going to find him or her a home."

He runs a hand through his hair. "Still, they should support you. I don't think that there's anyway to sugarcoat, this is going to a really hard few months and if you don't have your family there; it could be damage for the rest of your life."

"James, I adore you, but yo-you. I don't understand why you're putting so much thought into my situation." I sigh. "Sorry. That sounded mean. I'm sor-."

"No. It's fine. I'm just putting so much thought into this because you're gonna be upset and that's gonna suck. I don't look forward to how bad you're gonna hurt. That's why I think that your family is being unfair."

"Oh, James." I flip over to his end and he wraps an arm around me. My head lays on his chest. "Don't worry so much about me. I'll be okay. I know I'm making the right decision. I'm gonna help someone complete their family. Someone like Monica and Chandler. This baby is going to be someone's missing puzzle piece. It'll be a bittersweet thing, sure. But, in the end, things will be okay."

"You're a lot braver than I would be, Sawyer Theophilia Henderson." He gives me a squeeze while keeping his eyes on the TV.

For a while, we return to silence. The cooking show is the only source of sound until Logan gets home then he joins us; telling us about his day. James decides to head home after that, then it's left up to Logan and I to decide what we want to eat. Chocolate chip cookie dough or what Logan's left of the Oreos? Aren't there some things that I'm supposed to avoid? Like caffeine and certain cheeses? Do I need to eat certain foods to make sure that the baby is getting enough nutrition?

"I think I need Mom."

"Did you and the milk carton discuss it?" Logan retorts. My gaze follows his to the death drip I have on the milk jug. I set it aside and walk around the island counter to contemplate. "But, what makes you say that?"

"I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here. I don't know how to be pregnant."

"You're a nursing student, aren't ya? It's going to be alright."

"I'm studying to be a Oncology Nurse. I know only the basics about pregnancy. Mom has been through this three times. She should have a few pointers on what I can and cannot do. Maybe, she even knows something about adoption services. There was that time they were going to adopt. Wonder if she made friends with anyone that oversees the process. They'd have inside information about parents who want a baby. And, I could look over the files and pick a really good and deserving family."

"Mom would love to hear from you."

"You think?"

"Positively." He washes his cup out then puts it in the drainer.

"Thank you." I hug his neck as I pass by, grabbing my car keys and heading out the door.


Knocking on that door took a lot more courage than previously thought. The more thoughts that swish through my brain the more I think that this was a bad idea. Who knows if she will open the door or if she would even want to help me.

"Who's there?" Mom asks from the other side of the door.

"Mom-. Momma, it's Sawyer." A hitch in my throat makes me sound more dramatic than it should be. My shabby looking clothes probably didn't help either.

"Sawyer?" The door eases open. "What's going on? Why are you here? Is something wrong? Did something happen?"

"I just need my mom. I need help."

"Of course, Baby. Come here." She opens her arms and I rush into them. "I'm sorry."

"Momma. Will you come spend a little time with me? Maybe get something to eat or walk, I just need to talk."

"Yeah. Just come in while I get my purse and phone." She backs up and takes ahold of my wrist expecting to lead me in.

"I'm not ready. I don't think Dad will want to see me." I pull my wrist back.

Her eyes look me up and down. "Alright."

How close was that? It has been about all that I had not to bolt, and that's just to getting worked up to talk to Mom. I doubt if I'll be able to see my father until after the baby is his or her new home.

The car starts with my music playing low. Quickly, she returns and sits herself in the passenger side. "How about we start with just driving. To get the ball rolling where you want to be."

I nod to her suggestion.

"Is there somewhere you'd like to start?"

"I'm gonna ... find ... the baby a ... home. Please, help me." The more words there are to say the more vomits builds in my throat.

"Starting with the big number. Okay. A home? Are you wanting an open adoption, where you can still be a part of the kid's life?"

"How lousy is that? 'Uh, sorry, Kid. I didn't want you, but I didn't want someone else to have you; so I'm gonna stick around to make life more difficult for you.' What is the meaning behind that?" I change over to rant mode.

"It's not like that. The situation could be that a mother has to give up her baby because she doesn't have the resources to take care of it. So to keep in contact with her child, she finds a family to raise that baby."

"That's obviously not the situation here, Mom. I have more than ample room and income for a baby. I'm just not ready for a baby on my own. This baby is going to have a much better life with someone who needs and is better equipped to have a child. I don't even have a place of my own to have a baby. Logan wouldn't want to have a crying baby around all the time."

"If you decided you truly wanted to keep the baby, and I'm not trying to persuade you, but if you did; Logan would have your back. You two have always been thick as thieves. Even when you were little. He never kicked you out of the group of boys; he'd find a part for you. When it came to school, same thing. Logan loves his little sisters very much. And, I love you too. If you decided to keep it, I would be there for you too."

"I'm so scared that Daddy is never gonna talk to me again. He hates me, I just know it."

"Daddy doesn't hate you at all, Little Bit. He just took it a little harder than the rest of us. You were his first little girl. To him, you were still his baby girl."

It took a few more miles of silence to find a coherent thought, but still further on we rode in silence. Until I had to get out of the car and walk. We found a little strip mall to browse through. Not for anything, just window shopping until there might be something to say.

Of all the people in the world who are trying to have a baby or can't have a baby, why did I get in this predicament? Am I being selfish by saying that I'm not ready? I don't think so, but I feel guilty.

"All throughout your life, from the moment you arrived in this world until the moment you leave, you're gonna have your family. Your father, your sister, your brother, and I are always gonna be here for you. Sure, we're gonna butt heads and disagree over insignificant things, but when it comes down to the real important things that matter; we always pull together."

"That's all I need. Can you just help me through this?"

"Of course, Honey." The hands that held me all my life lovingly pet the side of my face. "It's hard to believe that you're big enough to have a baby. I thought that it was just yesterday when you were running through the yard to hug my legs and sneaking into my bed during a thunderstorm. It's gonna take a little time to adjust."


The ride home was a lot smoother than the ride before. We talked about the doctor I'd need to get in contact with and made a list of foods and vitamins that would help me... Well, help the baby. Even made a stop at the store to get a head start on that list.

All the talking, window shopping, and driving cleared our heads. It was actually disappointing to pull into the driveway.

"If you wait here just a minute, there's something that I got that might be of great use." Mom lays her hand on top of mine. "Anytime, any question; just give me a call."

"Thank you, Momma. I had the best day with you today."

"Me too. We should have done it sooner."

"Definitely."

"Okay. Now, wait a minute." Momma swings her car door open, taking her belongings, and makes her way into the house.

I wonder what she wants to give me. Maybe a book. Yeah. It's probably one of those "What To Expect When You're Expecting" type of books. Do those things actually work though or do they just get poor women all worked up? Who knows. If it's not a book, I wonder what else it could be. Perhaps an old relic, to pass down through the family.

Wait.

Dang.

I hope it's not, because I'd have to politely turn the gift down. The baby isn't going to have this family, so an old family relic wouldn't mean that much would it? It'd just be an piece of junk from someone they never knew. Or maybe even know about.

What a terrible thought.

"Sawyer?" My head swivels over to a deep sounding voice than I was expecting. There stands Daddy leaning on the open passenger door. "Your mom sent me out here to talk to you. May I sit with you?"

Not knowing how to form a sentence, I just nod. He slides into the seat. Instantly, the tension went through the roof. It was so thick that you could actually slice it with a knife.

"Mom said that you're going to find a home for the kid."

"Yeah." I fidget my fingers around the bottom of the steering wheel.

"I wish you good luck with that."

"...Thank you."

The air seems to feel like the top of room that is set on fire. Sweat is actually soaking my hairline and brows.

"I don't hate you. I never have and never will. You're my girl."

It could have been desperation or just that I actually wanted it, I turn my whole body and wrap my arms around his neck and sob. "Oh, Daddy. I didn't mean to disappoint you. I didn't even want what happened to me to happen. I wasn't sure what I was thinking. I keep telling myself that everything's going to be okay, but deep inside I know it's not. I'll never live this down."

"Sawyer, Honey. Calm down." He does his best to talk over me. "Please, stop crying. You're gonna get me going and then it's going to get ugly."

"Da-addy." This time I chastise him for making light of my hurt.

"I'm sorry. Really." He was trying his best to not chuckle. Believe it or not; I actually burst out laughing. Uncontrollably too. It's a way of coping with stress. This isn't the first time that this has happened. And, here we are laughing our butts off and easing back into our own seats.

"You are a terrible crier." I wipe my face with my sleeve.

"Yeah. Good thing we averted that crisis."

"Good catch."

I'm pretty sure that the look Mom is giving us through the front window is priceless. It's not unusual for Dad and I to deal with things that way though. Instead of building up to a certain point, we like to get down to business.

"You're gonna be okay, Baby Girl. I promise."

"Thank you, Daddy."