10.
JPOVIt was killing me to stay away from Bella. But Sam's instructions were very stern. Not only did she have ties to the bloodsuckers, I wasn't mature enough as a wolf to control myself around her. He was right too. Now that I knew what I was, I knew about the bloodsuckers. And the fact that Bella had actually been in love with one of them disgusted me. Worse than that, I knew that she still loved him. The thought of her together with that leech made me so angry that I couldn't control the wolf inside me. But I knew I could not afford to lose my temper in front of Bella so I was glad she'd taken my advice and just stayed away.
I was positive that she'd figured out my secret by now or she would have shown up with more questions. I actually found it a bit troubling that she was staying away. Was she so repulsed by what I'd become that she didn't want to see me anymore? Or was it something much worse? Now knowing that I was the natural enemy of her beloved, vampire boyfriend she probably never wanted to see me again. It didn't seem to matter for her that he had left her. Her feelings for him hadn't wavered.
I couldn't blame Bella for the hold that Edward had had over her. After all, he was a bloodsucker. Vampires are supposed to be appealing to their prey. The word made me shudder. But he didn't suck her dry. He left her. So why wasn't the spell broken? How could she still have feelings for him, especially after all this time? I knew I'd never have answers to these questions. Bella had not been willing to talk to me about her relationship with Edward before I was a wolf. There was no way she'd tell me anything now.
I couldn't waste time dwelling on that right now anyway. Sam and the rest of the pack were expecting me. We had to prepare. There had been a string of random killings over the past few weeks starting in northern California and it appeared by the trail of victims that the killer was heading this way. We knew from the descriptions of the victims' bodies that we were dealing with a vampire and only one by the looks of things. Of course the media didn't have a clue. One of their theories even placed the blame for the attacks on a wolf pack. Stupid. We don't kill for fun or sport or even for food. Our sole purpose for existence is to protect the humans from the vampires.
Vile leeches. If I'd gone through my transformation a year ago I could have saved Bella from all the heartache she's endured. I was sure that if she'd met me first that she'd be with me now. Her heart would be available for me without any ties or limitations. But there was still hope for Bella and I. I wouldn't let myself believe any differently. And if that parasite ever thought of setting a foot near Bella again, I'd gladly crush him.
BPOVI sat at the table doodling on the back of my trig homework. I hadn't been able to concentrate on school lately. It had been nearly two weeks since I'd confronted Jacob down at La Push. I had figured out his secret fairly quickly but wasn't sure where to go from there. That explained how ridiculously huge he'd gotten. But the fact that he was a werewolf - still not quite used to that term - didn't change the way I felt about Jake. At first all I could do was think about how the werewolves' mortal enemy was the vampire. But that shouldn't be a problem since there were no longer any vampires in Forks. Ouch, that hurt. The problem was that he just didn't seem like Jake anymore. I wondered if it was just because all of this was new. Would the old Jake resurface? He had too. He was all that I had left. I could not lose him because of this. So, I made up my mind. I would go back to La Push and tell Jake that it didn't matter to me what he was. I loved him for who he was. He was my best friend.
I was worried if I went to see Jake alone that I wouldn't be able to see speak to him. I knew Sam probably wouldn't let him talk to me. So I had to find another way. But how, I wondered? I didn't have to wonder for long. Just then, Charlie got home. And I was already plotting a way to get him to make a trip down to La Push.
I fussed around the kitchen a little and finished setting the table for dinner. I wasn't quite sure how to start though. Should I just come out and ask him? But wouldn't he find it suspicious for me to ask him to drive me when I could just as easily drive myself?
"Smells good, Bells."
"Thanks, Dad."
Charlie took a big bite of fried chicken and I knew if there was any hope for a conversation it would be left up to me, as Charlie would be content to eat in silence.
"So, Dad," I decided to start casually, "any plans for the weekend?" There, put the ball in his court.
"Not really. Things have been pretty slow around town lately. Although there have been some unsolved murders just south of Washington. I'll probably just hang around the house and watch the games. How about you? You haven't spent much time with Jacob lately. Everything okay?"
Perfect! I had an in! "I think he hasn't been feeling well. I probably should go see him." I waited to see how he'd respond.
"Maybe I'll just take a drive down and see Billy tomorrow. I'm sure he'll be watching the games too and you could come along to visit Jacob."
Well, that couldn't have gone any better. "Sounds great, Dad." I smiled at Charlie and started clearing the dishes.
That night as I lay in bed I was comforted by the fact that I'd be seeing Jake tomorrow. I would tell him that it didn't matter that he was a werewolf. Inside he was still Jake. I'd tell him how much he meant to me and that I was for him. And, if he needed to space, time to himself to work things out, I would understand. I owed him that. At least that, after all he'd done for me.
With a sense of peace that I hadn't felt in a long time, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
