Dark Mist stretched as he watched his dad sleep. He himself had no need to sleep but he could if he really wanted to. And he definitely did not want to. Before he got sucked into this crazy adventure, he would sleep just because nothing else interesting happened at night since most everyone else was asleep. But after he regained the knowledge that Astral was his twin, he had started having nightmares. It was those classic falling and waking up before you hit the ground dreams but these were different. Because he was always swarmed with emotions during them. Pain, fear, regret, guilt, betrayal, and so many others. He always woke up shaking, shivering, and crying. He usually slept in Vector's baria lapis so Astral never heard him and he wasn't inclined to tell his older brother either. It would make him worry more and he would have to listen to another lecture about that their death wasn't his fault. Dark Mist had to wonder whether Astral was trying to convince himself as well as Dark Mist.
Dark Mist shivered. Was it his fault? Could Astral, Luhke, his older brother, have died because of him? Dark Mist didn't care that he himself had died if it was his own fault, but Luhke...
Dark Mist put his head between his knees and sobbed. He didn't remember much, but he knew that Luhke had always been there for him. He remembered a few other cases when Malachi had picked on them that Luhke had stood up and told Malachi to, "leave his little brother alone or else". "Else" usually meant "tell Mom or Dad", but he had appreciated that act all the same.
He looked over at his father. If it was his fault that Dmitri had gone through so much pain, Dark Mist wondered if he would even be able to live with himself. He adored his father. He didn't remember much, but the feeling still lingered in his soul. Dark Mist wished he could remember more about him. But even that was a double-edged sword. One of the numbers they collected would make him remember how Luhke and he died. And when that happened, well, Dark Mist knew he would find out what exactly he had done to get Luhke and him killed.
Because despite Astral's assurances, Dark Mist could never escape the feeling that it was entirely his fault they died. He hugged himself as he contemplated what could've happened. Did he and Luhke have a fight? Did he, just like he did after he Cxyz-ed for the first time, try, and succeed, to kill Astral, or Luhke as he was called then? Was it an accident? But they each had an eye stabbed out, so what happened? Did- did he really kill his brother? If so, he bitterly thought, at least I had the decency to die with him. If it wasn't an accident that I fell off the damned cliff too.
Dark Mist shuddered. How could he have hurt Luhke? He hated Astral at first so yeah, attempting to possess/kill him was a little less wrong, but Dark Mist remembered he adored his older brother back before they died. Why would he even contemplate doing such a thing? The adoration of his brother had come back full force now so he had to be horrified that he would kill Astral. Dark Mist hated himself right now, he knew it was his fault. And Astral would know by the time they collected the number containing that memory too.
Dark Mist wished that Astral would forgive him when that came to pass, or at least not completely hate him, when they remembered how they died. He knew he would deserve whatever he got, whether Astral would seal him away in the key or just treat him with outright hatred or cold indifference.
Dark Mist put his head in his hands. And his Dad and Uncle Gareth probably would hate him too, when they found out he was alive. Or they would if they found out it was his fault Luhke and he died if they didn't know already. Dark Mist sobbed into his hands. He wanted to be with his family again so bad, it was a form of torture knowing that he wouldn't be accepted back in after they knew that he killed Luhke. Dark Mist reached out and brushed his dad's hair out of his face. This was the best he would be able to do, simply being able to see his dad, but not letting him see him.
Dark Mist curled up in a ball and he floated a little higher in the air. He let his tears flow as he cried until the sun began to rise.
…...
"Up, up up! Come on! Big day! We're going get to another ruin today!" Malachi's cheery voice rang into everyone's sleepy ears. Yuma groaned, Vector, who was already up, yawned, Gareth simply rolled over, and Dmitri groggily threw a stick at him. Dark Mist smirked when the stick bounced off Malachi's head. He had dried up his tears and regained his slightly cocky attitude.
Malachi frowned down at Dmitri. "You know, if you were more of a morning person and would get up faster, Sebby wouldn't have been able to run off and get him and Luh-Luk killed."
Everyone else snapped to attention and stared at him. Vector and Dmitri looked furious/homicidal, Yuma looked pretty pissed, Gareth and Astral turned to their respective siblings to see how they were coping, and Dark Mist's eyes widened in an expression of horror and anguish.
"You f*cking piece of horse shit-" Dmitri lunged at Malachi only to be stopped by Gareth holding his wrist with his good arm.
"Dmi, don't pick a fight right now," Gareth said softly.
"Can I pick one then?" Vector said as his eyes switched from sane to total psycho.
Malachi seemed confused by Vector's hostility. "What? You never had a problem with my friendly teasing before. Besides, we're siblings. Siblings always squabble with each other from time to time."
"Yeah, Mala-mai. I know, I live with two fraternal twins, I know and am friendly with a family with three siblings, Yuma has an older sister, I'm friendly with two siblings named Kite and Hart, and one of my best friends has a twin who I am also friends with," Vector growled out with plenty of maliciousness, "But none of them ever tease each other about the family they had lost. They all had family issues of some sort or another, but they don't joke about it unless everyone is 100% okay with it. You, on the other hand, keep laughing about your nephews' deaths when it is clearly pissing people off, more so than you know."
Malachi seemed put off. "Well, I've moved on and they should too. It's my little way of getting them to get over it. Trust me, I mean no disrespect, but I know my brothers a little better than you do."
Vector narrowed his eyes. "Even if I went by your logic and took it for granted that you're right, which I do not think you are, I still have a very strong reason to strongly insist you never say things along that line. If you do, so help me I am going to-
*A while later*
"-crush your tones into bone dust and then rip off all the muscles in your arm one by one," Vector finished.
Malachi was looking very green and limitlessly freaked out; Dark Mist had cheered up a little bit; Yuma, Gareth, and Astral were looking very disturbed; and Dmitri seemed to be slightly enjoying it, probably picturing Vector making good on his(very long) threat. "Can I ask why you want to go to those... extremes?" Malachi squeaked, clearing thinking of other words than, "extremes".
"Mostly? Because Gareth and Dmitri are not the only ones you're affecting by your taunts," Vector said as he stormed over to Dark Mist and Astral, who was hugging the number.
Malachi stared in shock for a minute before coughing awkwardly. "Um, well, let's get going! So, as usual, Vector will ride with Gareth and Yuma will ride with me-"
"Actually, can I ride with Dmitri today?" Yuma asked.
Malachi blinked. "Well, uh, if he doesn't mind-"
Dmitri, seemingly happy to bust Malachi's bubble, said, "I guess don't mind that much. I'm not so heartless that I'd make anyone spend extra time with you."
Malachi turned to Vector. "Why aren't you telling HIM you're going to crush his toes to bone dust?!"
"Because you deserved that comeback and he wasn't making fun of someone's demise." Vector retorted.
Malachi frowned but didn't protest any more so they started off.
…...
Internally, Malachi was in a worse mood than he was showing. This screwed up his plans a bit. He needed to keep Dmitri downtrodden so Dmitri would focus more on his own emotional problems than keep to rational thought and figure out a way to take Malachi himself down. But somehow his comment today pissed Vector and Yuma off enough that Vector seriously threatened him and Yuma preferred to ride with antisocial freak Dmitri. What's worse, he had no idea how Astral and Dark Mist felt about his comment. It was them who he was trying to impress and win over, primarily Astral. But neither Astral nor Dark Mist ever wanted to communicate with him. It wasn't fair! How did Dmitri and Gareth get the two spirits to want to talk with them?! They weren't even trying and Dmitri didn't even want to talk with them! Malachi scowled. It was near impossible to make himself favorable with spirits that he couldn't see nor talk to at all!
And they seemed to have a little bit of ill will towards him. He wondered why.
…...
Dark Mist was sulking in the key when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Sebastian?"
Dark Mist gave no answer and just hugged himself. Astral floated in front of Dark Mist. "What Malachi said isn't true. Or at least it's not the whole truth."
"Yeah, right. Just admit it, it was my fault." Dark Mist sniffled.
Astral looked at Dark Mist in despair. "It was MALACHI saying that. He just says things to mess with Father and Uncle Gareth."
"And what exactly makes you absolutely certain he wasn't telling the harsh truth that time?" Dark Mist asked.
Astral stopped as he realized he had no answer to that. He looked lost. Dark Mist let out a bitter, sob-filled laugh. "Face it. I killed us. There's no nice way to put it. Just go away. You can leave me now."
Astral cocked his head. "Huh?"
Dark Mist looked away. "You know what I mean. I killed you. I murdered you. You were terminated because of me. Ended. Put down. You don't have to pretend to like me anymore. You can go back to hating me; I deserve it. I'm a nightmare, and who wants to acknowledge being brothers with a monster?"
Astral's eyes widened and tear started to form in his eyes. "Sebastian... you really think that?" Dark Mist just let his tears flow and didn't meet Astral's eye. Astral grabbed Dark Mist and hugged him close, kissing his forehead and rubbing his back. "I do not hate you. We still have no idea the exact circumstances. In fact, even if the worst feasible possibility, that you legitimately tried to murder me in cold blood, occurred, I don't think I could truly hate you if you're really sorry now. Besides, I have an incredibly hard time believing that happened unless you were possessed, and in that case, it wouldn't have been your fault."
Dark Mist looked up and stared into Astral's eyes. He brought his hand up and set it on Astral's left cheek, near his pale eye. "We used to both have two golden eyes. You lost yours because of me. It's my fault you died. I took everything away from you."
Astral shook his head. "Try not to think like that. I wouldn't have met Yuma or any of the friends he and I made if I hadn't died. Sebastian," Astral suddenly looked stern, "I'm not going to believe it was in any way entirely your fault. If you really want me to, I can admit that it might, might have possibly been partially caused by your actions, but I do not want you to carry around that burden fully on your soul. Please, don't be so harsh on yourself."
"Astral, it was my fault." Dark Mist said desperately.
"No, I'm not going to accept that. And as I have said, I have an extremely hard time believing it could be entirely your fault." Astral replied.
"Yeah, well what about Dad and Uncle Gareth? Because I doubt they'll be that understanding of how I killed you!" Dark Mist snapped then sobbed into his hands.
Astral paused, at a loss of what to do. Then, he had an idea. "Wait here for a few minutes, there's something I need to do to convince you." he promptly exited the key and left Dark Mist alone to his suffering. 'This might get Father a little pissed with me, but I need to do this, to comfort Sebastian,' Astral thought.
The party had stopped in front of a large entrance to a ruin and were setting up camp. Astral waved his hand to get Yuma's attention. "Yuma, can you please tell Dmitri and Gareth that I really need to talk with them? It's a minor emergency."
"Sure, Astral! Hey, Dmitri! Gareth! Astral wants to talk with you." Yuma called.
"Okay!" Gareth called back. Dmitri got out a quill, the blue ink bottle, and a sheet of parchment.
"So what is it now?" Dmitri asked as he set the paper down on a rock and unscrewed the ink bottle.
I wanted to ask you about Malachi's taunt today. Was it really Sebastian's fault he and Luhke died?
Dmitri's eyes grew dark. "You called me over, to ask about THAT?!"
Please! I need to know. I don't believe that's what happened, but I need to know for certain.
Gareth gave Dmitri a look then said, "No, it was not his fault in any way."
Could I have that in writing? Please?
"Sure," Gareth said, then wrote on the bottom of the paper, It was in no way Sebastian's fault he and Luhke died.
Thank you. Dmitri, could you please write something similar?
Dmitri glared at the paper. "Why not? But keep in mind that I never want to hear you claim that how my sons died was by their own fault. Because it never, ever was." he snarled then furiously scribbled down, There is no f*cking way that how my sons died was by their own fault, and it was certainly not Sebastian's doing in any feasible way. Anyone who says otherwise better start running right the hell now.
Thank you so much for that. You have no idea how much that will help.
"Just do not bring it up again." Dmitri snarled then stormed away.
Gareth looked at Dmitri's receding form, then said, "I hope you had a good reason for working him up so much. You do realize he's going to hate you for a few days if not permanently, right?"
I hoped he wouldn't get angry, but I needed to ask him.
"Why?"
Well, let's just say there is no way I could explain it truthfully without making it sound bad because I honestly can't tell you everything.
"Why not?" Gareth asked, curiosity peaking.
Because it would really hurt you.
"What makes you so certain?"
Trust me on this one. Oh, and could you please tear off the bottom part of the paper and hold it out? I need to take I back in the key with me and I can't hold it on my own so...
Gareth sighed, knowing Astral was not going to indulge his curiosity. "Sure." He tore off the bottom half of the paper that he and Gareth had written on and held it out. A few seconds later, the paper disappeared in particles of light. Gareth whistled. That was pretty cool.
…...
"Sebastian?" Dark Mist looked up at his brother, who was holding out a piece of paper.
"Yeah?" Dark Mist whispered, his voice hoarse from crying. Astral thrust the paper at him and Dark Mist read it.
"I asked Uncle Gareth and Father whether or not it was your fault we died. These were their responses." Astral said.
"Luhke, Dad doesn't like talking about us. He might be mad at you," Dark Mist whispered.
"It was worth it to bring you piece of mind," Astral shrugged, "Besides, when Father is finally able to see us, he'll probably-certainly forgive me."
Dark Mist sniffled and his eyes when shiny, "Luhke-nii," he threw himself at Astral crying. Astral froze in surprise before hugging his brother back.
"It's alright, Sebastian, it's alright," Astral soothed.
Dark Mist sobbed, "I don't deserve a brother as great as you."
"Stop beating up on yourself, you're not a monster or a nightmare," Astral hissed.
Dark Mist nodded and kept clinging to Astral. Astral smiled. At least Dark Mist was feeling better now. Astral knew that the number would never want to speak of this again, he could be so stubborn, and that it would stay just between them. He was glad that their deaths wouldn't weigh on Dark Mist's mind as much anymore, but it was only a matter of time before he would start to think along those lines again. Astral knew that they needed to recover the other numbers, specifically whatever one contained memories of their death, very quickly.
Because he couldn't bear to keep seeing his brother blame himself for something that couldn't be his fault.
