All I can say is FINALLY... and this chapter contains peanuts. So be warned if you have a peanut allergy.

KuroFai Island - Day Ten

If I could have fallen asleep during the commute back to the south side of the island, I would have, but the pain was torturing me so, and I couldn't stop thinking about it for a second.

What I couldn't believe though, was how my feelings were being directed.

I no longer thought of Karolene as a friend, obviously, …but I still thought of Kurogane as a boyfriend. Even though he and Karolene both had told me outright that he did not love me, it almost made my attraction toward him stronger. Now that I knew I couldn't have him, it made me long for his hold, his kisses, his love, even more.

However, if he were to come charging back to me right now, I knew that things would never be the same again. He had betrayed me in the worst possible way. Kurogane had allowed me to lay in the dirt, crying my eyes out, while he forced me to watch him make out with another person, a girl of all people! A girl who was supposed to be my friend. Then he had allowed her to play with… my thing! That thing was mine and mine alone… and he let her touch it, and suck on it... He even moaned when she did, so it was evident that he enjoyed what Karolene was doing, even though what she was doing wasn't the sensual stroking motion that I would have done for him. What she had been doing looked like it would have hurt. Maybe Kurogane was into that kind of thing. So was I… and we never got to try it...

Oh, how I hated Karolene. How I loathed that smug smirk she had on her face whenever she would take another step toward my Kurogane. Oh, how I detested the way she had crawled all over him the day we had met. How I hated the way she was with those flirtatious smiles and slutty clothing. So, she was a mermaid, who cares? How I absolutely despised everything about her.

Oh, how I loved my Kuro. My Kuro-sexy. My Kuro-cutie. My everything. Oh, how I admired the way he would take control, take me in his arms, and kiss me. How I adored the silent, almost shy way he would tell me that he loved me through his actions. How I loved everything about him, from his raging anger to his passionate ways. Oh, how I hated his lies.

The savages dumped me in a deep pit. Even if I were untied, it would have been impossible for me to get out.

I heard one say something that sounded like, "He's too skinny to eat."

I heard a few more agree with her.

They talked for a while. Eventually, they decided to feed me something they called "food fattener." The name alone sickened me. I would rather starve to death and become a skeleton down here than gain weight and become their dinner.

I was left alone after a few moments to shiver in the cold. I didn't roll around because I was afraid of what I might bump into in the dark, smelly hole, but I did manage to make my tongue push out the leaves that were gagging me. I couldn't help but sense that there were skeletons or some other eerie objects down there along with me. I was glad I couldn't see anything right then.

Some faint chatter, the blowing wind, and a crackling fire were all I could hear. No sounds of Kurogane fighting off the savage leader and coming to save me. The longer I waited for a Kuro-hero, the more my hopes faded. The longer I waited, the more I came to accept what was happening to me. I came to accept my fate as the meal of a bunch of filthy, savage beasts. I accepted that I was a piece of garbage in this world, not meant to live a happy day. I had managed to sneak a few, but I didn't deserve them. They belonged to the rest of the world. I didn't cry or whine. I simply let things be, and eventually I fell asleep.


I woke up sometime later. It was still dark. Perhaps it was my muscles, aching from being in the same position for so long, that woke me. I longed to stretch my legs and arms and just be free to move. Would the savages believe that I wouldn't run away? Probably not.

"Fai!" I heard. The sudden, quiet calling of my name startled me so badly that I almost had a heart attack. I didn't even know who was calling me until I heard them again and felt their presence at my side after jumping down into the hole.

"M-Mokona...?" I whispered, unable to believe what I was hearing.

"Fai! You're okay!" she exclaimed. I felt myself being untied and my limbs freed from their long-term bindings.

Once free to move, I didn't. I couldn't. My mind was slow to wrap around the idea that Mokona had found me, was saving me, and that I might not become dinner after all! I didn't even tune into what she was saying to me until the very end.

"...and Sakura-chan are just fine on the other side of the island. Good thing I came to find you when I did! But where is Kuro-puu?"

Kuro-puu. Mokona appearing almost made me forget about him, his deceit, and how he stabbed me in the back right through my heart. The tears came once again.

Mokona must have heard me sniffle. "Fai, what's wrong? Is he okay?"

I said nothing. I didn't have to say anything. Mokona could figure it out all on her own. She was clever that way.

"Fai..."

I sniffled again. "Don't worry about... that. Let's just get out of here before they find you, too." I could just imagine them tying her up and trying to eat her for dessert. What a horrible thought.

The hole brightened up as Mokona began to work her magic. I wondered if any of the savages were aware of the light. If they were, they made it over too late to do anything about my escape.

Mokona and I ended up near the beach. I fell knees-first onto the cool sand and dropped to all fours. It was great to be free, but at the same time, I wanted to crawl back into that pit and just get life over with already. When I looked up, Mokona was next to me looking somber. I could tell she wanted to talk. I sighed and sat down on the sand and prepared myself for more tears.

Mokona could not have been a better listener. She almost made me want to tell her. On the one hand, I assumed that she would figure out what was going on anyway, so not telling her just would have made her have to work for the information. On the other, telling her about what happened made me feel better. Having someone agree that Karolene was evil and listen while I ranted about Kurogane being a back-stabbing jerk eased me somewhat. Plus, she did save me from being eaten, which I was half-thankful for, so I supposed I did owe her an explanation of why I ended up in that hole in the first place. I told her about the days before we met Karolene, how great everything was going up until the fifth day and how he had quickly become more affectionate toward me. I told her about how Karolene had befriended me, asked for help with chores and a potion, and how I agreed without thinking. I even hinted to Mokona about the previous night when Kurogane and I were the closest. I did omit the fact that my secret desire to die had again resurfaced. I hoped that amidst all of the other emotions that this one would slip by Mokona's astute detection.

"...so I was carried away by the savages and they threw me in there. If you hadn't came when you did, I probably would have been force-fed their "food fattener" and... yeah..."

I sighed and gave Mokona another hug. The sun was beginning to rise on Syaoran and Sakura's side of the island. What were they doing right now? They were probably blissfully asleep, snuggled together in a makeshift bed or hammock, glad to be alone together. When we reunited, I would pay close attention to see how far their relationship had progressed in that direction.

"Come on, Fai-san. Let's go get Kuro-meanie."

"What?!" I screamed. Birds in the trees behind us got startled and scattered. "After all I just told you, you want to go get him and bring him back with us?!" I thought she understood! I told her I never wanted to see that liar again!

"But Fai-san, if we take him back with us, he won't be able to be with the mermaid! She'll have to find someone else. Plus, I think Kuro-meanie owes you an apology."

I hadn't thought of it that way.

"You're right, Mokona. He probably should say sorry to me... but if he doesn't want me, do I really have the right to take him from someone he does want to be with?"

"We have to go get him. Trust me, Fai. We have to." She said this with such conviction that I agreed to it.

It was on the walk back to Karolene's house that my doubts about doing this really came out. Mokona could probably feel my emotions before I did. I had told her I never wanted to see Kurogane again, but in reality, I wanted to see him more than ever. I had come to terms with the fact that he wouldn't be with me and that I would some day die alone, but one thing I had to know was why. Why had he pretended to fall in love with me only to pull my heart from my chest and squish it between his thick, calloused fingers? Why had he kissed me, told me that he loved me, and then touched me all over only to turn around and kiss, love, and touch someone else the very next night? And I had to speak to him one-on-one. Karolene could not be there.

I sighed when we reached the stream. "This is... not going to be easy."

"I know. But you have to." There was that conviction again. I had never heard it from her before and I really had no clue where it was coming from. It was almost as if she wasn't telling me something. It almost scared me into diving into that stream and swimming up into Karolene's cove.

I came out of the water as silently as I could and as far away from the rooms as I could just in case Karolene and Kurogane were there.

What am I doing? I asked myself. Why the hell am I back here? I shouldn't have come. We don't need to take that jackass with us... He betrayed me and left me to die, and Mokona wants me to go get him?! Why didn't she come? I don't know what she was thinking…. I do want to find out why, but I think I can die without knowing…. I don't feel like getting into it with them, so I'll just turn around...

"Stupid mermaid, get in here and let me go already!"

I gasped when I heard the screams of Kurogane coming from Karolene's bedroom. He was trying to get away? What?!

"Honey, please stop screaming before you give me a headache. The potion got contaminated somehow and needs to be remade. But never fret, my dear! We'll be loving each other again soon enough!"

Potion? What potion?

"I'm not drinking any more of that shitty "passion fruit juice" and I should have known what it was in the first place when you gave it to me!" Kurogane growled. "Then maybe I could have prevented this whole fucking thing…."

"Please, I told you, it's for your health! Both of our's, really. Now, I wish you wouldn't struggle. You're going to mess up our bed."

"Our bed?! This is not our bed and I don't and won't love you no matter how many times you give me that damned potion!"

"But honey, what about my father? What about the rest of my family? I have to bring someone home to them or I'll never be able to return again!" Karolene pleaded, sounding half-way sincere for once.

Kurogane kept his resolve. "I already told you. Find someone else. I love someone already... and you sent him off to die... and I couldn't protect..." He trailed off and I couldn't hear the rest of what he said.

"Well, as long as the one you love is gone, you might as well find someone else."

"I don't love you! At all! You're a pathetic, lonely bitch who will never find anyone at this rate!"

"That's not what you told me last night..."

"We both know that was because of that stupid potion you had me drink!"

"You just need a little coercion..."

"Hey, get away from me! Stop that!"

That was all I needed to hear. I came out of the water as quickly as I could and dashed to the potion room. There, I picked up the cauldron containing the potion that made Kurogane fall in love with Karolene, the potion that I helped make, and entered the room.

"Fai?!" Kuro and Karo yelled at the same time, both equally shocked to see me.

Before I acted on Karolene, I flicked my gaze to the left over to Kurogane. He was really a sight to behold. He looked like a starfish. All four of his limbs were chained to Karolene's bed so he couldn't run away and his boxers looked like they had almost been pulled off. His expression had a mixture of relief and confusion, probably due to the fact that he was certain I had been killed by now, but now realized I had miraculously survived.

I raised the cauldron above my head and threw its contents on the mermaid. She let out a shriek and dove after me. "You idiot!"

She tackled me to the ground and I dropped the cauldron. If only she had been in mermaid form, she would have been easier to fend off. She was irate and soaking with the potion. Karolene threw the first punch. It hit me right in the jaw, but no sooner than I was hit did I punch her right back and made her nose bleed. I probably broke it.

The second blow I dealt to Karolene seemed to make her twice as angry. With her rage doubled, she came at me full force. If she wasn't on top of me, it would have been much easier to dodge her fists, but I had to resort to blocking. Even though she is a complete and total bitch, I have to hand it to her; she can really throw a punch. Before I knew it, my own nose was bleeding and I was hearing shouts from Kurogane.

"The cauldron, idiot! Pick it up!"

From my position, I couldn't see where the cauldron went when I dropped it, but I was certain that Karolene would try to get to it before I did. Her eyes flicked over to it. I could see her plan formulating in her mind almost as clearly as she could. She wanted to finish me off with a blow to the head as soon as she hurt me enough. But she had made a mistake. Now I knew exactly where her stupid pot was.

Instead of blocking her next punch, I sacrificed my other jaw in order to put my entire palm on her face. I pushed with all the force I could muster and scrambled to get up while she was still discombobulated from my unexpected move.

I crawled toward the cauldron. It took no time at all for Karolene to see what I was trying to do and pounce back on top of me. I shot my foot backwards, but my kick didn't connect and I was on the ground once again, but in a far worse position than before.

I reached for the handle of the cauldron as she sent a barrage of fresh punches to my skull. The room began to look flashy and I began to feel light. I tried to fend off her punches and cover my head with my other arm, but this tactic was ineffective.

After I finally got my hand on the thin metal wire, I did an anti-clockwise windmill with my arm hoping that the pot part of the cauldron would crash into Karolene's head. The big impact I was hoping for did not happen, but she did say "Oww," and backed off a little. In the short moment when she recoiled, I used what little power I had to push the mermaid off of me. She landed on her back next to me and I held her down as I lifted the cauldron to give it as much potential energy as I could. Karolene's face looked fearful as I held it above her head.

"No!" she screamed.

I struck her forehead with the pot which knocked her out instantaneously and left a large, red bruise. It was only when I dropped my weapon that I realized how badly my own head hurt. She had really done a number on me. I almost let myself drop to the ground beside her, but I had one more thing to take care of.

From Kurogane's position, he couldn't really see what was going on. Karolene's scream must have reassured him that I was the victor, but seeing me push myself off of the ground and onto the bed also let him breathe a huge sigh of relief.

"Finally, that bitch is out of the way... You all right?"

Fighting Karolene and not sleeping properly since the night before Karolene had enchanted Kurogane had drained me. With my adrenaline rush gone, I could barely do anything other than collapse in a heap on top of Kurogane and cry.

"Idiot, this is not the time for tears! Just get me unchained! I've been here for hours with no bathroom break or food."

"Right... sorry..." I wiped my eyes. "It's just that... I'm alive. And for the first time in a long time, I'm actually glad about it..."

I saw Kurogane's eyes widen. "What? What the hell are you talking about?"

Oh, boy. I hadn't mentally prepared myself for this talk at all. The talk I thought I would be having involved me telling Kurogane off for being a terrible person, not me revealing my deepest secret. Could I keep this inside any longer? Could I tell another lie to Kurogane?

"Do you remember a couple of days ago when I told you about Yuui?"

I sat up as he nodded and situated myself on the bed next to him.

"That wasn't completely true…" I mumbled. I couldn't bring myself to look directly at him. I only met his eyes when he said, "I know."

We looked at each other for a moment before he explained, "I knew you were making shit up. But I knew that there was a reason. And I knew that one day I would know that reason and I would know the truth."

He knew. And he didn't want to make me uncomfortable by pressure-questioning me. Another tear escaped my eye and I bent down to kiss him on the lips. It hurt me to know that the last one to kiss him was not I, but at least I knew he had no part in the kisses. Karolene had kissed the potion, not Kurogane. I sat back up and I could see anticipation in his eyes. He deserved to know the truth.

I'm assuming you've read the books by now or at least already know what happened. If not, a fat, terrible spoiler is coming your way. Watch out for the next bolded line to let you know when it's all over!

"Yuui… is my real name. Fai is my twin brother. We were both princes of Celes and… we ruined everything. As soon as we were born, everyone started to die…. We were blamed, even though we had nothing to do with it. They put all the dead bodies in a tower where they wouldn't rot. They would stay exactly how they were when they died… and then to punish Fai and I… they… locked us in… opposite sides of the tower…. The only way either of us could leave was if the other…"

I had to pause a couple of times during the story to let out some of the pain. Kurogane waited patiently and sympathetically, though he stayed silent.

"…was if the other died."

I felt as though I was trying to create a marble sculpture with a plastic spoon. These were the hardest words I ever had to speak. The words left my mouth dry. I hoped I didn't need to elaborate on that point. I couldn't say that I was left alive in exchange for my brother's life. Kurogane was smart enough to infer that much for himself.

"So after that, a man named Ashura found me…. He was the first one who ever showed me any kind of kindness. It was such a new feeling for me after being hated for my entire life by everyone except for Fai."

I smiled as I thought of Ashura.

"He allowed me to stay with him and promised me that, one day, we would find a way to bring my brother back."

The small smile soon disappeared. I sighed and looked back at Kurogane who was still giving me his full, sympathetic attention.

"But as you could probably guess, people didn't stop dying when my brother… stopped being alive…. I couldn't stand to see this happen. I hated it. Ashura made me promise to kill whoever was responsible and of course, I said I would. But…."

I took a few deep breaths before continuing.

"It was Ashura," I said in a much shakier voice than I would have liked. "He did it… and he still wanted me to keep my promise and… I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill Ashura. He was the first one who had been nice to me…. I couldn't. So I did the only thing I could think to do. I put Ashura under a spell that put him in a deep sleep and I ran… I ran all the way to the dimensional witch. And that was when I met you."

Okay. It's over. Back to the made-up plot instead of the real one.

Kurogane's next words weren't what I thought they would be.

"Go over to the mermaid and take the key to these chains out of her bra."

"What?"

"Go get the key," he repeated.

I obeyed, though I was shocked. Going back over to Karolene disgusted me, especially when I had to touch her to get the key to release Kurogane.

Click. I freed Kurgane's right arm. Thump. It constricted around me so quickly and brought me chest-to-chest with Kurogane that I didn't even have the mind to yelp.

"Oww…" I eventually said as I tried to embrace him back. It didn't work. He eventually let go.

"The other one, too. One isn't enough," he breathed.

Click. I unlocked the other cuff. Kurogane was much gentler with me this time. He held me down with him, almost like a hug, but not quite. He even patted my back, but I couldn't hug him and pat his. As his fingers traced along my spine, I thought about Ashura. I knew he would wake up one day; that was inevitable. But when I put him to sleep, I had not met Kurogane.

When Ashura awakens, Kurogane will be with me, still protecting me, and still loving me. I wonder how Kurogane would handle this…. Would Kurogane be willing to fight Ashura? Would he be willing to kill for me? Would he die if it meant my brother and I could reunite once more? I don't think I would be able to live without him…. He gives the best kisses in the world….

Kurogane looked intently into my eyes, willing me to be okay. He knew he couldn't say the right words to make me feel even a little better about what had happened all those years ago, but he still wanted to try. His eyes were alight with the utmost compassion, devotion, and hope. Hope that he had even taken a step in the right direction.

Nothing could heal the trauma I suffered as a child, not even a little bit, but Kurogane was all the assurance I needed that my future would be the polar opposite: full of kindness, packed with happy memories, and topped with smiles. Genuine ones.


I thanked Kurogane for being so patient with me when I realized just how long he had been chained to Karolene's bed and just how long he had been holding in several cups of potion. I went ahead of him back to the surface to meet back up with Mokona while he left Karolene a present in the corner of the room.

"Fai, you're okay! That sure did take a while."

The sun had risen above the horizon. I thanked Mokona for her patience as well and grinned at her.

"All that stuff I said earlier about Kurogane… nevermind."

Mokona smiled back and winked at me. I only had a moment to ponder what she meant by that before out of the stream rose Kurogane, the only man for me.

"Kuro-puu is okay!" Mokona yelled obnoxiously as she bounced over to him.

"Aww, fuck, it's you and the annoying nicknames," he grumbled, obviously glad we could finally leave the island, but also annoyed that the first greeting had to be one like that.

"Come with me! We're going to get Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan!"

Mokona sped away before Kurogane and I even had a chance to ask her to wait. We followed for a minute or so until I finally called after her to slow down.

"Mokona, could we walk? Kuro and I are both exhausted."

She nodded and almost began walking until Kurogane interjected.

"You can actually go ahead, pork bun, and tell the kid and the princess that we're both fine. I need to rest before we continue."

I smiled slightly. We would be alone.

"For how long, Kuro-puu?"

"Until we've rested!"

"Does that mean an hour or three hours or-"

"Get lost until tomorrow morning! Then you can bring them here and we can go to the next world."

My smile escalated to a grin.

"Oooh, Kuro-puu wants to have Fai-san all to himself!"

Mokona's declaration of the obvious made Kurogane blush.

"Just get out of here!"

Mokona just giggled. I didn't see her leave.

"Fine, whatever," he growled before turning all of his attention to me and blocking out the laughter. He didn't want to wait for Mokona to leave. He couldn't. He had been waiting for this for too long. He brought me close to him and caressed me for a moment as I put my arms around his neck. I too had been longing for the return of this intimacy. He squeezed me to him and pressed his lips to my neck. I closed my eyes and allowed his light kisses to continue. I reacted as if Mokona had left when Kurogane had told her to, as if we were the only two on the island.

"Oh, Kuro-sama… I'm so glad that we're back together with nothing standing between us again." Tears began to form at the corners of my eyes. "Last night, I couldn't stand it. The thought of you loving someone else was too much for me to feel." I opened my eyes to let the tears fall. I saw that Mokona was no longer there. One of my tears must have splashed onto Kurogane's shoulder because he pulled away from my neck right then so he could look at my face.

"Fai, I'm only going to say this one time, so listen." I was all ears. "Yesterday, when that bitch told you to go into cannibal territory by yourself, it made me immediately suspicious, but I didn't say anything. I pushed it to the back of my mind because I thought you would return a few hours later with the oranges and all would be well. I also became suspicious when she offered me a drink that I hadn't seen her prepare. She told me to take a break from gathering wood and come back into her cove. I was tired… and I didn't fully trust her, but I never saw that coming. The last thing I remember before finding myself chained to her bed was her trying to hug me as I took a drink…." He sighed and looked away from me. "When I came to and realized what had happened, I thought you were gone forever… and if you really were, it would have been entirely because of me…." I could tell he had to force himself to look back into my eyes. I could see the overwhelming guilt in his. "Fai, I want you to tell me exactly what I did last night. Don't hold anything back. I need to know."

I felt like I needed to look away now, but Kurogane wouldn't allow me to. He took my face gently in his hand and tilted it up toward him. "Fai… please," he pleaded.

I remembered it like it was yesterday… and, in fact, it had happened yesterday. Really though, I remembered it as if it was happening right then. As I looked back into Kurogane's eyes, I could see the pain he felt from what he didn't know he had done. I could tell he could see my pain as well as the memories broke through the floodgates of my mind.

"Kurogane…" I cried, "Please, just forget about it. All that matters is that we're here together now and we're both fine!" I didn't want to tell him anything. He was already extremely remorseful, even though he had been tricked. The blame was Karolene's, not Kurogane's, but I could tell that he didn't think so.

He shook his head. "Not true. Fai, you have to tell me now. You just said yourself that this hurt you so much that you couldn't even stand it. I can't rest until I know exactly what I did to you."

The memories collected themselves onto a platter in my mind, ready for me to present to Kurogane. Could I really tell him what he wanted to know? As I sighed once again, he tightened his hold on me and reached for my face to wipe away my tears. Did I really have a choice?

"The first thing I remember is being carried back to this side of the island by the savages. They dropped me on the ground in front of you and the mermaid. She was sitting in your lap and kept... kissing you." The disgust on my face was showing through. I could tell. "I was tied up, so I couldn't stop it. Then she made you say things like how you loved her and didn't love me…. She told me that you two had planned for me to get close to you… for you to take my virginity… and you did because you loved her and you wanted to make things more painful for me…."

I was afraid to meet Kurogane's eyes. His grip on me loosened instead of him holding me as tightly as he was before. That scared me to my core.

"Keep going…." It seemed like he was coughing out the words instead of speaking them. I didn't want to go on, not if it was hurting him this badly.

"Talk!" he barked at my hair. I had stopped looking at him completely and had my head down. I summarized the rest of what happened as quickly as I could.

"…S-she made y-you stand up and… p-pull down your sh-shorts and… she… umm… I tried to stop her, but the savages t-tied me up more and gagged me and made me watch…."

Kurogane let go of me completely. I shuddered and shook as I quickly wrapped up the story.

"And then you came inside her mouth, she told me you were coming home with her as a merman, andthatIwasgoingtobeeaten. There, I said it. That's all! Can we please stop talking about-"

"FUCK!" Kurogane punched the tree we were standing next to… and dented it. I backed away out of fear as he continued to mutilate the poor tree trunk and spew expletives.

"DAMMIT!" he shouted with a final punch. He had really done a number on the tree… and himself. I saw little pieces of bark fall out of his hand as he shook it. I wanted to calm him, but he was really scaring me.

"K-"

"I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!" he yelled before I could begin. He turned his back to me and began pacing. "How the hell… not seen that coming? …such a shitty boyfrie… can't fix this… can't make this up to him…"

He must not have realized how loudly he was mumbling to himself. I heard quite a few little fragments. Kurogane was placing all of the blame for what happened to me on himself… even though he had to know that he was not the main contributor… right? Didn't he know that? He thought that because he made this mistake that he was a terrible boyfriend and could never do anything to make things right between us. I had to let him know just how wrong he was.

"Kuro…" I said calmly, placing my hand on his back. "Please calm down."

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN?!"

I almost retreated completely. My hand reflexively retracted from him, but I made it go back. "Please… at least stop yelling. You're really scaring me."

He finally decided to keep his mouth shut long enough for me to talk to him, but he looked absolutely filled with fury. If I didn't choose my words carefully, I didn't know what might happen to me.

"I know you feel guilty, and I know you feel responsible, but this is not your fault at all! Karolene is a selfish bitch who tricked you and me into thinking that we could trust her. You had no reason to believe that she would do something like this and neither did I. She's not horrible at lying, so it's perfectly reasonable that you-"

"PERFECTLY REASONABLE?!" His volume had gone back up as his rage levels hit the ceiling. His eyes looked like they were on fire. "What I let happen to you was not forgivable, it was not unavoidable, and it sure as hell wasn't perfectly reasonable!"

"Unforgivable…? Kurogane, not only do I forgive you for what you did under the influence of that potion, I forgive you for being really scary right now, I forgive you for calling me idiot all the time, I forgive you for everything you could have ever done to hurt me! There, are you satisfied? I forgive you, now just forgive yourself so we can move on!" I hadn't intended to raise my voice at him, but I needed him to understand that this was not his fault. "In fact," I began after thinking, "I need your forgiveness."

"What? What the hell for?"

"Two days ago. I hurt you, not because I was tricked, but because I was insecure. That was my fault. What you did was not."

"Of course I forgive you for that, but this is not the same thing, Fluorite! Not even close. What you did wasn't a matter of life or death! If the pork bun hadn't come when it did, you would be dead, you hear me? Dead! How the fuck could I forgive myself when I hurt you as badly as I did and you almost died because of me?"

He turned his enraged face away from me again. Things were seeming pretty hopeless. What should I do? How do I convince this man who I love to stop hating himself? I almost started crying again, but then I got an idea, my last idea.

"How about this... what if you give me something special to make me feel more alive than I've ever felt? Will that be enough for you to feel like you've made things right?"

He mumbled angrily and put his hands in his pockets and I was surprised when he seemed to calm down. I even thought I saw his eyes light up a little bit. Was he actually considering this as a possibility?

"…I'll think about it," he finally grumbled. This wasn't his usual grumble though. Normally they had much more anger in them. There was something different about this one.

"Or you could just say yes and give me a back massage or something! We do have to leave the island in the morning to go to the next world."

"Hmph. That's true. Fine, lay down."

"Wait, what?"

"You said you wanted a back massage," he said impatiently.

"I actually get one? Wow!"

"Of course you do, idiot," he told me as I got down on the ground.

I wish Kurogane had given me this treatment when I really needed it after I woke up with a backache, but this was nice all the same. He got on all fours above me and began working through my whole torso. It was a rather swift massage, but it worked wonders for me.

"Mmmm… Kuro, that was just what I needed. Thank you!"

I didn't know it would be this easy to get him to stop being so upset with himself. And I got a freebie back massage out of it! What a great deal for me!

"Now what do you want?"

"What? You already gave me a back massage, Kuro-puu. That's all I asked for. We're even."

"Like hell we are. What is it, you hungry? I'll get us some food."

Before I could tell him that I could get my own food, he was running off to find a fruit tree. He really did feel guilty, and he was determined to make it up to me on our last day on this island. …Okay! Couldn't hurt to get a little pampered by the Kuro-meanie for once, and if this is what he needed to ease his conscience, then I supported his decision whole-heartedly.

The coddling didn't stop at just grabbing food. Kurogane couldn't figure out how to weave a basket out of leaves like I had done before, so he cupped his hands and filled them in the freshwater stream so that I could have a drink. He even gave me a piggyback ride when I asked for one, even though I knew he hated every second of it.

We still had plenty of daylight left when I couldn't think of any more silly tasks for Kurogane to perform for me.

"What do you mean you don't know what else you want?" he boomed at me.

"Well, that's really all I want right now, Kuro! You've made me very happy."

Me being "very happy" was not good enough for him.

"Bull shit. You're not happy," he mumbled, perhaps more to himself than to me. I could see him searching within to try to find something else he could do for me.

"Fine, I'm hungry again!"

Before I could even take a breath after finishing my sentence, or tell him that I was just kidding, he was gone once again to find more food. My goodness, he's really invested in making this the best day on the island yet. I dunno if that's really possible! Aside from everything that was not teh sexeh tiemz or the moments leading up to sex, day eight was by far the greatest. He would have to do just a little bit better if he wanted to top that.

"Hey idiot, listen up!" he called when he returned with just one banana. "Tell me about one of those dreams you had."

I gave him a confused look.

"I know you've had more than one about me. How about that "I'm seme" dream?" he asked with a smirk. He neared me and took my hand. He kissed it. I blushed and smiled. "Or that French dream."

"Can you even speak with a French accent, Kuro-puu?"

"Hell no. But that doesn't really matter."

I was about to tell him that he had done quite enough already, but then….

"Okay, Kuro-puu. I'll tell you about a new dream."

"A new one?" he asked with a grin.

"Actually, it's the oldest one. And it kind of reminds me of how you're acting now!" Kurogane raised an eyebrow. "You were being all Kuro-polite and Kuro-protective and Kuro-loving! You were holding me and snuggling me and upset because the savages came and I got a scratch. You said you would train harder every day so that you could protect me and that even if there was a doctor around," I giggled and stepped a little closer to him, "you wouldn't allow him to touch me. You said you would never forgive yourself for not being quick enough to stop the savages from getting to me, even though I only had a little cut. But you know what? You did forgive yourself and you were about to make me feel the best I've ever felt… but then I woke up. It was the day you got your foot caught in the rope trap."

"Uh huh…" he said, seeming pretty interested in this dream. "And what was I about to do before you woke up?"

I grinned. I wasn't sure he would ask, so I showed my gratefulness for his interest. I got on my toes and put an arm around his neck, bringing us closer together. Kurogane put his hand on the back of my head and pressed his body against mine. My intent was to give him a kiss so full of love and passion that he would never forget it. I heard and felt him moan into the kiss as I wrapped my leg around Kurogane's middle. We couldn't have been closer. I backed my head away slightly and put down my leg. "That…" I whispered to him. I was so happy that he let me kiss him like that. It was sweet. No tongue, no biting, and it was just like how I imagined it would have been in my dream.

"Is that what you want?" he whispered back.

I nodded and placed my hand on his chest.

"Touch me… love me…" I begged breathlessly.

Kurogane backed me against a tree and began giving me the attention I had missed the night before. He touched me all over, kissed my neck, jaw, and lips, and even gave me a couple of love bites. But it wasn't… quite the same. I told him that the tree was hurting my back, so we got on the ground. I let him top me and continue, and I thought that maybe him being able to lie on top of me would help things seem better but… it didn't. It wasn't the position. It was Kurogane. I soon figured out what the problem was. His mouth was full of the guilty words he was keeping inside. When he kissed me, they were transferred and, essentially, ruined everything. This had to end….

"S-stop… stop."

He didn't hear me. No, he heard me. His kisses got more furious.

I turned my head away. "Kurogane, stop…."

"Why the fuck would you want me to stop?" he roared.

"This isn't the same. Your kisses… are not the same."

I saw him immediately get defensive. I should have clarified before he could start yelling.

"I knew this would fucking happen!" He threw himself from me. There was a stark contrast between the warmth my body felt with Kurogane on it and the neglect and cold it felt once he was gone. "I'll wash my mouth out, okay? I'll make a fucking toothbrush, I'll do whatever it fucking takes!"

"Kurogane, stop it!" I screamed. Not this again. "First of all, stop saying the F word, and second, stop getting so angry over one little mistake! It was not your fault! Karolene tricked you and there's nothing we can do about it now, so you have got to get rid of this guilt!" Kurogane had frozen in place. I sat up and put my hands on his shoulders. "The reason your kisses don't feel the same is not because Karolene kissed you. It's your overwhelming remorse getting in the way of you being able to love me the way you did two nights ago."

Kurogane began growling. I put my finger to his lips.

"Please… I need you to calm down. I need you to do whatever it takes for you to calm down. Maybe you could even just… sit here. Yeah. Meditate for a while, okay? Come find me on the beach when you think you're calm." I gave him a kiss on the cheek and looked into his eyes earnestly. I really hoped this would work. I didn't know how much longer I could take him being like this.

I went to the beach and watched the waves. I needed to calm down too. I sat in the sand just before the shoreline and tried to think about this from Kurogane's point of view.

His love for me seems boundless… he cares about me and my life so much. If he knew just how much I didn't care about myself before our romance began, he would probably beat me to a pulp, even though those feelings were gone now. The thought of me dying… because of a mistake he made… oh man. That must have been the worst feeling in the world for him. Now I think understand a little better why he's being so hard on himself.

But I'm fine. I'm here, and I don't want him to experience that horrible feeling anymore. Neither of us can do anything about what happened now. That is a fact. The only thing we can control is how we react to this. This… this horrible event… it doesn't have to pull us apart. In fact, this can make our relationship stronger. He needs to see that this tragedy, now that it's over, is chance for us to hold each other and be thankful that we are together and we are alive. Hopefully, me leaving him alone for a little while would allow him to sort out his guilt and get rid of it so that he can see that this event doesn't have to impact us negatively forever. Once he realizes that his mistake didn't change the way I feel about him and that I'm fine now that I know it was all Karolene and not he, he can go back to being the man that I know he can be.

I yawned.

Sleep was not good last night. I guess I could take a little nap until Kuro-puu comes back. Yeah… just a little one….

I let myself fall back onto the sand. I closed my eyes.

They opened to a much different scene than what I had been expecting. I thought I would wake up and see that the sun was going down and Kurogane had come back. I was right about that much. The surprise was what was on top of and behind me.

On top of me were both of my coats. Just in time. The island's temperature had already dropped quite a lot. I saw that Mokona had drawn a happy face in the sand for me.

"Oy, idiot!" I heard next. I took the coats off and turned around.

"Oh, Kuro-puu! I can't believe you went through all of this trouble!"

Behind me, further up on the beach, Kurogane was sitting on a large pile of leaves surrounded by tiny bonfires. I could see that he was holding food and something else in his hands.

I reached him and bent down to kiss him on the forehead. "Kuro-pipi, this is so nice! I love it. Thank you, Kuro-sama."

I saw him smile at me, and he may have blushed as well. "And that's not all."

I gasped excitedly. "There's more?"

"Yeah… umm…." He stood up and took my hand. He presented me with flowers. I beamed at him. This was so romantic! And so rare! I knew that I wouldn't be seeing this side of my Kuro-pon again any time soon, so I was going to take advantage of this kindness while it lasted! He must have came up with this while he was meditating for those few hours. It really was a good decision to have some time apart to think!

"Oh, Kuro-sama… I love these flowers. And this set up you have, with the food and the fires… thank you. It was really sweet of you and it means a lot to me that you went through all of this trouble as an apology…" I kissed his cheek, "…even if it wasn't your fault."

Then I did something that, quite honestly, I don't ever remember doing in a non-sexual context. I gave him a hug. And you know what? He hugged me back. No dry humping, no groping, no lust whatsoever. My arms wrapped around his body, his arms pulled me close to him. It was just a plain old hug. And it was the closest I had felt to him all day.

When we pulled away, I could tell that face might have looked a little goofy as a side-effect from my recent injection of pure bliss, but Kurogane gazed back at me lovingly all the same. I was about to sit down for the meal, but he took my arm.

"Later," he told me simply. He didn't say a word after that. What did he want to do instead? I thought he had brought this food out to feed me. I decided that my hunger could wait when he began pulling me toward the edge of the water, toward the setting sun. He stopped just short of the wet sand, then changed his mind and decided to get our feet wet. The water wasn't warm, but I didn't object. Kurogane could have dragged me to the cannibal area and I would have followed him.

I stood looking out at the sun, or as I called it in my head, Kurogane's eye in the sky, as I leaned my back against my boyfriend. He secured me to his chest with both arms, and there we stayed for who knows how long.

Kurogane's actions really did speak for themselves. And I was so glad that they did. I had dreamed about so many other Kuroganes while on the island. The one who was over-emotional and super affectionate with his words was, honestly, a nice guy. The Kuro-lusty one who was a horn dog and wouldn't let me be seme would be a freak in the bedroom. Oh, yes. The playful Kurogane from the dream where he went stripping on the beach and had a butt tattoo would be a fun one to have around. Even the French Kurogane, with all his charm, romantic poetry, and that sexy accent, was a nice fantasy. …But I didn't want any of them. Not at all. The man who I love hardly ever speaks kindly to me, but that makes the moments when he decides to that much more special. Like now. Kurogane certainly knows how to turn up the heat and make things hot, but he also knows when to just be warm to me. Like now. Kurogane would be a completely different person if he went around butt naked and screaming all of the time; I'm glad he saves his body for me alone and knows how to be silent. In fact, if he liked to run around naked and screaming, he would be… me! And I wouldn't want that. I like how we contrast. And as for him being French… he could be an alien from outer space for all I care. He doesn't need an accent or love poems to be attractive to me. I love him just the way he is.

I'm going to tell him that at some point tonight….

I didn't want to say it right then since I didn't want to break the silence. I also wanted to say something to Kurogane about being cold. I was fine, but I could feel him shaking a little. I didn't want him to suffer for the sake of romance… but it was romantic that he was deciding to! I could tell he was trying to stop the shaking, but it just wouldn't let up. Just as I was about to dare to speak and ask him if he wanted to grab one of my coats, one of his hands left my body. I felt him take a deep breath as I frowned involuntarily. The slight unhappiness immediately turned into intense shock when his hand returned and held up an object in front of me.

"Remember this?"

How could I not remember this? It was at the moment that I first saw this that I had felt the most hatred toward Kurogane. Arguably, the most hatred toward anyone ever. I had a mini-flashback to two days ago. The feelings of betrayal, dishonesty, and disbelief returned for a split second inside of me before an overwhelming feeling of surprise washed them away. Why was he bringing this thing back up now? I began to shake too. He held onto me tighter.

"Well, I still have it, o-obviously, and I don't think you're enough of an idiot to still think this is for someone else."

After its initial shock, my slow brain began to comprehend.

Say more so I can be sure….

His shaky hand let go of me and he came to my side. He faced me and I turned to face him too. His face could not have been redder. The same could probably be said for mine.

"I've had this thing for two days now, and I'm kind of sick of carrying it around, so…."

Kurogane got down on one knee.

"I want you to have it. I didn't think I would be giving you this ring under these circumstances, but I want you to accept it. I want you… to be mine. Forever."

"…"

My senses stopped. I could no longer hear.

"…"

My vision became teary. I could no longer see.

"…"

But after a moment, I realized that my voice still worked.

"YES!"

And so did my legs. I blinked my tears away as I knelt down to his level.

"Yes," I repeated more quietly. His sunsets were blazing love flames tonight. We met each other halfway in our first kiss as more than just boyfriend and boyfriend. I got a little overzealous and almost knocked Kurogane down into the water.

"Careful, idiot, you're going to make me drop it…. I found it once, I'm not finding it again!"

I grinned at him. There was that snarky attitude I knew and loved. "Of course, Kuro-puu!" I stood up again so that he could put the ring on my finger. He took my right hand and I exploded into giggles.

"What the hell is funny about this?"

It took me a moment to collect myself before I was able to speak. "That's… the wrong… hand!"

More fervent blushing and quiet swearing came from the Kuro-puu. He corrected his mistake and put the ring on the proper finger on the correct hand.

"Wait, oww!"

"What?"

"This ring is too small, Kuro-pii!"

"Dammit!"

"It's okay, we can just get Mokona to resize it!"

"Hell no! Why should we tell the annoying manjuu about this?"

"Why keep secrets? I'm going to tell everyone~!" I did a little twirl.

He growled. "But the pork bun-"

"Will find out anyway," I said, finishing for him. He growled again, knowing I was right, and dreading the moment when Mokona found out about our engagement.

Sakura and Syaoran would have to find out too. I wonder what they would think…. Sakura would probably think it was really cute, but I didn't know about Syaoran. He would probably just congratulate us. But we both knew that Mokona would never stop talking about it. Not until the day when we became more than just fiancés.

I knelt down to Kurogane's level again. "Kuro-puu… I-"

"Shut up." He interrupted me this time. "Can't you call me by my name? Just for today?"

"Hmmmm…" I pretended to consider. "Nope!"

"Fine, then I'll just call you idiot for the rest of today! And tomorrow! And the next day!"

"And I'll call you Kuro-puu, Kuro-pii, Kuro-meanie, Kuro-cranky, Kuro-angry, Kuro-"

Another interruption. A kiss this time. The only way to really get me to shut up.

"I love you," he said, "But this shit's got to stop."

MAJOR SQUEAL. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Kuro-puu said he loved me, Kuro-puu said he loved me!" I spasmed out for a moment, totally ignoring the little part about stopping with the nicknames. "I love you too, Kuro-puu." I kissed his cheek. "And you'll always be my Kuro-puu-puu~"

I was so glad that I could call him whatever I wanted without having to worry about him calling off the engagement. All I had to get past was the annoyance, and I was already a pro at that.

It took a long time for me to calm down enough to stop splashing in the water while yelling nicknames and take his hand to go up on dry land, back to the picnic, the coats, the fires, and the flower bouquet. I suggested that we feed each other, which Kurogane thought was a stupid idea that would take a really long time, but it wasn't like we had to go somewhere any time soon. I got to feed him over half of his meal while I refused to pick up any food by myself. I bit and chewed sensually, and eventually, Kurogane began to get the idea.

No way was our engagement night going to go without intimacy. I was relieved when I discovered that it came back. That Kuro-macho that I loved was mostly back.

"I can tell you still feel a little bad, Kuro," I whispered a little while after we started as I placed my hand on his butt. I gave him a small spanking, which probably aroused him more than punished him for his lingering guilt. "You already know that I don't blame you at all, and I can tell your blame is almost gone too… so I want you to keep kissing me…. I want you to kiss me until your pain goes away…."

I didn't have to say another word. It was gone before I knew it. I could feel it in every neck bite, nipple pinch, booty grab, tonguey kiss, junk grope, thigh rub, pelvic thrust, etc. etc. Was it the spanking that did it? I didn't want to think so. I wanted to think that it was a combination of raw horniness, his security in the engagement, and our true passion for each other that conquered his emotions and made him stop guilt tripping himself while we made love beneath my coats.

I didn't think it was possible, but without sex, Kurogane had managed to top Day Eight. And I loved him for it. Love. It's only four letters and one syllable, but it isn't a word to be taken lightly. When together, all four letters are more powerful than any sword or spell could ever be. When abused or thrown around like peanuts at a ball game, it can self-destruct and hurt many people. But when it's given to just one other soul, and they give it back… nothing in the world could ever compare. I'm feeling it now. True love, true happiness, and the true Kurogane. Never before have I felt so alive. Never before has my own life meant so much to someone else or to me. Now I have value… a purpose that no princess or mermaid or insecurities can take. To love this man forever and never let him go. He certainly isn't letting me go. He's made that perfectly clear.


...well, there you go. After two years, here you go. I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter. There's going to be one more, and maybe a bonus chapter, but KuroFai Island is almost done. Thank you all so much for your loyalty through it all and for new readers, thank you as well! I hope that everyone is happy! I couldn't possibly leave you all on a sad not AGAIN! In fact, let me know if you're happy. After all this time, I need to know if I've still got it! So, yeah. Think about this for a while. See you later with more Until Death!