There is Hope, Tweek
Craig X Tweek
Written by JEL
Tweek P.O.V.
Scratching at my eyes
Rip them out
They burn from acid
Clawing at my mouth
Sew them together
They pour with lightening bugs
Hollowing my organs
Pick them clean
They harvest the evil entity
An entity that is me
Everything aches.
I weakly opened my eyes, my nose feeling like I'd been punched fifty times. My arms were sore, and my hand and part of my upper arm stung like hell. I couldn't even MOVE my legs. I'd just woken up, and I already felt exhausted.
I was on the couch, and Craig's jacket was laid over me like a blanket. He was sitting in front of me, talking about something I didn't care to listen to. He had his back to me, so I tugged at his shirt.
Craig looked down at me. "Oh, hey."
He kissed me, and I then realized that we weren't home the last time I was awake. I attempted to ask him what had happened, but he began to tell me before I could. Craig described the whole thing to me, everything they'd said and done in graphic detail. It explained why my body hurt so much.
I sat up, pain shooting through my body with every movement. I asked Craig how long it'd been since we'd gotten home. He said about five hours.
My head hurt incredibly. I heard Nikki's voice. Had she been there the whole time? She said something I didn't hear.
I dragged myself off the couch, and into the kitchen. I stood at the counter for a while, thinking. We'd been successful, we got the book thing. So why didn't I feel happy, or even excited..? I didn't know.
The soft coo of the coffee maker distracted me for a minute, so I could collect myself a bit more. I wasn't freaking out or anything, I just felt like I was… in a haze of some sort. Like I was calmly drifting through fog with no idea where I was going. Or, something like that.
I heard a buzz in my head. A voice? Yeah, definitely a voice.
I looked over my shoulder, and there He stood, saying something. I put my cold hands to my face and closed my eyes. I REALLY wasn't in the mood for Him right now.
A hand gently pushed my shoulder.
"I know you're not exactly thrilled to listen to me, but I'm not here to antagonize you. Just listen for a minute."
I was… a little taken back. Was He actually talking to me like a regular person?
"Look, I get that you hate me for tormenting you all our life, but I need you to understand something. We ARE the exact same person. Now, I don't mean this in the usual manipulating way I say it, I mean it as in, that's the literal truth. I know you don't LIKE it, trust me, I'm not fond of it either, but that's how it is. We're the same being."
I frowned at Him angrily. "Shut up… This is just another trick, I'm not falling for it…"
He sighed. "Yeah, I know, I do that a lot, but I'm being serious. And just hear me out, at the very least."
"No! Just leave me ALONE!"
"Look, we're the same person, I said that. We're the two halves of one body. You're the conscious, and I'm subconscious. And if you let them get rid of your subconscious, you'll lose all of your memories. You will forget everything, who you are, who you know, who you love."
"You just don't want them to get rid of you! You're trying to manipulate me, and I'm not going to let you anymore!"
"If I go, you'll be a fucking vegetable, incapable of remembering better than a GOLDFISH."
"That's a LIE! You're LYING!"
"I'm not!" He yelled at me. "Listen, I know I'm an asshole, but I have been through some pretty thought provoking shit today, and I'm really reconsidering my entirety as a-… I-I don't even think I qualify as a HUMAN, and I-… I don't know how to feel..? Because I… can't..?"
He looked down at His hands, clenching them for a moment. "Okay, here's the deal… I'm going to be one hundred percent straight with you right now… I think I'm… scared..? To not exist..? To just… disappear..?"
"You… are?"
He look up at me. "… Aren't you?"
"I-…" I looked at Him, searching His-… MY face. "… I am…"
"Tweek?" Craig called to me. "What are you doing?"
"O-oh, I…" I didn't really answer him.
"Is… He talking to you?"
"Uh… y-yeah…"
Craig hugged me from behind. "Well, don't listen to that asshole, whatever He's telling you."
"Well… I think that… He might be scared to die…"
"… I don't feel like He cares enough to be bothered with being scared. He might be, but I've held a gun to His face, and He barely batted an eyelash."
"That's because I knew he wouldn't shoot." I heard Him say.
"That's because He knew you wouldn't shoot." I said.
"He didn't know that."
"He wasn't wrong, was He?"
Craig paused. "… Why're you defending Him?"
"Because I… I know what it's like to be afraid… Maybe-… Maybe He can change..?"
"Change?! You can't be serious! How long have you told me you wanted Him gone?! How much has He tortured you?!"
"I know, but… I dunno… He was just telling me about it, and… I know He's tricked me before, but… *sigh* I think He really means it this time…"
Craig shifted around me uncomfortably. I could feel his reluctance. "… I know what you're saying, I guess… I mean, back there, I saw Him… differently. On the way back home, He was quiet, and He didn't even look triumphant. He'd avoided death yet again, and He didn't even smirk in the slightest. I think you might be right, in a way, but should we let everything He's done just… slide by?"
"I… don't know."
Don't get me wrong, I resented Him with all my heart for everything He did, to me and everybody else He'd hurt. But I couldn't help but feel that, if I were to get rid of Him, I was no better than Him myself. And, I hated to admit it, but all that stuff He'd said about me losing my memories and being a vegetable… it was a pressing thought. If it was true, then I had no choice. If He was just making things up to scare me into not going through with it, then it was working. And what if He COULD change? I mean, not that I want Him to be my best friend in the whole world, but, it'd work for everybody if He did… I'd be happier. Craig would be happier.
Craig sighed, resting his chin on my shoulder. "I don't know, either, but… it's your choice if you wanna get rid of Him."
I heard His voice, quieter than usual. "… Could… I talk to him..?"
I held Craig's hands. "Craig, He… wants to talk to you… Would that be… okay..?"
"… Yeah, it's fine…"
o~o~o
His P.O.V.
o~o~o
I felt the firm arms around me, holding me like they didn't know who I was now. I was public enemy number one to them every other time, so why did they make me feel okay this time? My hands were still on his, and I squeezed them a little.
"What are you feeling now?" He asked me.
"I don't know." I replied. "What are you feeling about ME now?"
"… Angry. But more confused. But still a little angry."
"Hatred?"
"Maybe. I don't know how to feel about you anymore."
"Anything but sympathetic is fine."
"I can't feel bad for you?"
"You shouldn't."
"Why's that, then?"
"Because I don't deserve sympathy. I built the house of cards, and I chose to kick it over. That was nobody's fault but mine, if I wish to cry and complain about it, then that is of my own poor responsibility. I don't need, nor do I want you to feel bad for me."
"… Are you scared to die?"
"… I don't know. I might be. I've ignored my fear for a long time."
"For somebody whose always seemed to know everything, you sure know nothing about yourself."
"I've hidden who I am all my life. I've forgotten what I really am. I suppose… Tweek is what I really am..? Some form of him is what I was hatched from, I think. His thoughts, desires… I must be some kind of manifestation of that, right..?"
He didn't answer me. Rather, he tighten his grip on me, as if confirming he understood. But I hardly think he REALLY understood. There was no way he could. He knew as much about me as I did. He listen to the words, not the meaning.
I could sense the warmth filling my face, and the painful tears form in my eyes. It felt horrible. I didn't like it at all. The water drain from my lids down my red face, and I began shaking.
"I-I… fuck…" I put a hand to my face, my other one clutching his. "… I hate this! Why do I feel like this?!"
The pain in my chest swelled like fire, roaring and ripping me apart from the inside. This was guilt, wasn't it? Sadness? This was far worse than physical pain, and I hated it. I wanted it to stop. And I began begging for as such.
"Th-this feeling, how do I make it stop?! I don't-! Want it-! Anymore-!"
He pulled my hands from my face, and wrapped my arms around me, him holding them in place. "Breathe."
What was this, now? The way he held my body gently, and the soft attitude towards me… he'd never done this before. Of course I knew this was the way he acted with Tweek, but… never me. He always hated me, so, there was never any sweetness between us from his end. It… made me angry.
I pushed him off of me, turning around to glare at him. "… I don't need your-… I don't need ANYBODY'S pity… You pretend you care but I know you don't… You never have… not about me… Well let me tell you something, luv… I may have changed, but that doesn't mean you can coddle me like you do Tweek. HE needs it. I don't."
He stare at me with those eyes. Those… emotionless eyes… I hated them. But I didn't want him to stop looking at me, at the same time. What… does he do to me..?
"I wasn't coddling you." He pulled me back towards him. "In a way, I was trying to thank you."
"Thank me..?"
"Well… if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't of made it out alive. And seeing that you never shut up about how I won't 'love' you, I thought I owed you something."
"Well, stop. I don't need anything from you. Not like this."
"… You have to tell me if you're faking this."
"I'm not, and I don't care anymore. I'm apprehensive about dying, whatever. Fucking kill me. But if you do, your boyfriend won't remember anything, not you, not me, not even his name. I'm telling you not to kill me for his and your sake."
"How am I supposed to believe you?"
"You'll believe me when Tweek can't fucking walk on his own because he can't remember how."
He looked away from me, contemplating, I guessed. I knew he couldn't take the chance of crippling his beloved little Tweek, but, then again, maybe he hated me enough to try. It always seemed plausible.
I sigh as I rubbed my temples. That kid's headache was getting to me, not to mention the fresh fucking bloody wounds slash in my skin sizzled like grease in a red pan.
He caught my attention again. "Okay, look. If you really do change, you still killed people. And I can't get over that. I could forgive you for being an asshole all the time, but murder is across the line."
"… I may be capable of murder, but don't forget that I gave that up for YOU. The only reason I killed people today was to make sure you were safe. I was clean for three years before this. I have control over myself, and I don't need to kill. I never HAD to kill in the first place."
"Then why did you?"
"It's frankly none of your business, nor is it the point that you're avoiding."
He crossed his arms, going silent again. Oh, how he liked to piss me off by not responding.
I crossed my arms back at him. "Well, fuck me, right? I stop murdering worthless souls for you, I saved you and some slut I don't even care about from an insane cult, and I'm willing to change my entire existence for you, but you know, I'm a fucking cunt, so I have to die. Well fucking go ahead. I'm done with all this bullshit anyway. Have fun with your vegetative boyfriend, if you can, asshole. He'll probably be hooked up to wires and shit in the hospital until his vitals go flat. Then you'll really be alone until you die. Either that, or you'll end up with Ms. 'I pushed my brother down a flight of stairs'."
So, maybe I went a little far with the last couple comments, but hey, I was angry. Admittedly, I knew I was being pretty mean, but I didn't care. If being harsh was how he was going to realize the facts, then so be it. Not my fault he's slow.
He made a face at me, gritting his teeth. After shooting arrows at me with his eyes for a moment, he left me there. I'm not going to say I felt guilty, but I definitely wasn't in a positive mood.
I took the coffee pot and poured a cup for myself. I drank it black. Tweek, on the other hand, liked it full of sugar and milk. I couldn't bare sweets. It made me sick.
END PT 11
Tumblr is killing all my time istg.
