Chapter 13

The next day Sara told everyone about the conversation between Grissom and Ecklie. "Ecklie can be such a jackass," Warrick said. "You are right Sara, Gil does not need to get all worked up over him."

"How long will you be able to work?" Catherine wondered. Sara gave her the same answer as Gil had given Conrad. Then she added, "I would think that as long as I do not go out in the field I can work right up to 7 months."

Hodges, who had come in on the end of their conversation, asked,"Why would you want to give up field work, you love it so?" Nick started to say something smart then remembered that he had been on vacation and did not know about the baby. "Sara is pregnant," Nick said.

"Congratulations, does Gil know?" Hodges asked as he came into the room. When Gil came in the break room Hodges said, "Sara is going to have a baby." "Yes I know, she told me before she told anyone else," was Gil's reply.

That is when Hodges hit himself in the forehead, "That's right, I keep forgetting you two are married. I just never thought it would happen especially after what Greg told me." It was at that point that Hodges realized he said much more than he should have.

Gil looked at Sara, she shrugged her shoulders. Then to Hodges he said, "What did Greg tell you?" Hodges just told him nothing special and took off. "Does anyone know what he was talking about?" Sara asked. They all just said "No." You never saw a room clear so fast.

"I think I should get to the bottom of this," Gil said. Sara stopped him, "Let me handle it, you scare him." Gil was not sure what to say so he just nodded.

Sara found Greg in the break room. "Can we talk?" she asked. Greg nodded and Sara sat down. She told him everything that had happened.

Greg's face turned a beet red as he confessed, "About two years ago I told Catherine and Hodges that I kinda had a crush on you and wondered if you would ever date me. I never got the courage to ask you out."

Sara kissed his forehead, "Greg you are so sweet. I have always thought of you as the younger brother I never had." "Gee, I guess it was a good thing I never found the courage," Greg said, "I would have made a total fool of myself."

Sara patted him on the shoulder, "You are a sweet kid, Greg. Stay that way. Your lady is out there somewhere." Sara went back to Gil's office and told him about Greg. Gil just smiled at her.

Just before shift ended the janitor came to Grissom, "Sir," he said. "Mr. Ecklie has left for the evening. I was moving his desk, he got a new one you know. Well, anyway, I had a hard time opening one drawer. When I finally got it open this was stuck at the bottom of it," he had an envelope in his hand, "I am not sure what to do with it."

"I will take care of it," Gil told him. The envelope was old, it was postmarked 2000. It was addressed to Conrad and was from Sara's old supervisor.

Gil took the letter out and read it. HELLO CONRAD, I WAS SURPRISED TO HEAR FROM YOU. AS A SUPERVISOR I AM LIMITED AS TO WHAT I CAN SAY ABOUT MISS SIDLE BUT AS A FRIEND I CAN TELL YOU THAT I AM GLAD TO GET RID OF HER. SHE UNDERMINES ALL AUTHORITY AND HAS A HOT TEMPER, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO DOMESTIC ABUSE CASES. SHE IS A LONER. WHY THIS GRISSOM FELLA WANTS HER I WILL NEVER KNOW. KEEP AN EYE ON HER, SHE IS TROUBLE. BEST REGARDS HARRY. Gil reread the letter, "This explains a lot," he said to himself. He folded the letter and locked it in his desk. He decided he would think about what to do with it later. Right now he just wanted to get home to the woman he loved.

It had been a week since Grissom read the letter. He still was not sure what to do about it. One night Sara came up to him, he was sitting at his desk deep in thought.

"Gil, do you love me?" she asked. He looked at her, "That is the silliest question you have ever asked," he told her. "Answer me! Do you love me or are you just here because of the baby?" she said with tears in her eyes.

Gil stood up and took her in his arms, "I love you with every beat of my heart, every breath in my body. You are my life, my future without you I am not whole, you are what has been missing in my life. I don't know any other way to tell you. Why? why, would you ask me?"

Sara was trembling as she said, "Maybe it is just the hormones or my imagination but the last week you have not been here, you have been somewhere deep within yourself. I have talked to you and you have not answered. When you do answer it is so general. Yesterday I asked you if you thought that mud pies would be good for dinner and you said 'whatever you want is fine'. Just last night I told you that I loved you and you said 'yes, I think so to, but I am not sure."

Gil lead her to the sofa, "Please let me explain." He walked to his desk and took out the letter. "Read this," he handed it to her, "This is what has been on my mind."

"Well, that explains a lot," Sara said, "It is not like he wasn't telling the truth, I am hot tempered and I do have a problem with authority. I do prefer to work by myself and domestic abuse cases send me over the edge. But there is a reason. This is something I have not told anyone, but it is time I told you."

Sara pulled in a deep breath then said, "I have told you that I was in foster care but I never told you why. All the time I was growing up there was never a minutes peace in my house. My parents fought all the time, not just yelling, but fighting.

He would hit her, she would hit him, they would hit me. I can't even count how many times one or other of us ended up in the emergency room. They always had some excuse to tell the doctors. Back then abuse was not investigated as it is today.

One night my father and mother got into it bad, worse than I have ever seen. They both had been drinking. They started throwing things at each other. I got hit by an ashtray, it cut my face.

I was so scared I grabbed my teddy bear and hid behind the sofa.

The fight just got worse. Mom went into the kitchen and came back with butcher's knife. She took a swing at Dad and missed, he grabbed it from her and cut her. She picked up something and threw it at him. He dropped the knife when he fell, she picked it up and stabbed him over and over again.

There was blood everywhere. Mom knelt down next to the body and started crying. The police came, there was a young officer. I remember he got sick and could not stop throwing up. They took my mother to a mental institution and a lady from the welfare department came and took me away.

I spent the night in a jail cell because they did not know what to do with me. I went before a judge, I cried for my mother and he got cross with me. I had no other relatives so they decided to place me in foster care.

In my first foster home everyone pointed at me and talked about my Mom and Dad. I tried to be good, but there was always someone picking on me and I fought back. I thought that was what you were supposed to do. I kept getting into trouble, getting kicked out of one place after another. No one ever listened to my side of the story, I was always in the wrong.

That is why I stayed by myself. That is why I buck authority. That is why domestic cases set me off." By this time Sara was crying.

Gil cradled her in his arms, he did not know what to say, he just held her as she cried. Sara looked at him, he kissed her tenderly. Gil searched his mind, he wished he could think of something to say, something to take away the pain she was feeling. The only thing he could think to say seemed so lame to him, "I love you, I am here for you."

She lay her head on his chest and he held her. She cried herself to sleep. Gil gently picked her up and carried her to bed. He laid her down, laid next to her and held her.

Gil could not sleep, the picture of a frightened child, crouched behind a sofa, bleeding and crying, cuddling a teddy bear, would not leave his mind. What a burden she had been carrying. He now understood her better than ever and he decided that Ecklie should too.

The next day after everyone left he went to Ecklie's office. He walked in without knocking and shut the door. "We have to talk," he said as he tossed the letter on his desk. "You had no business...." Gil cut him off, "Don't even open you mouth." Gil was steaming, so angry he had to fight to keep his temper under control.

"You had no right to prejudge Sara. You do not know her. You have been on her case since the first day she came here. Now you will sit there as I tell you something, you will not say a word," Gil proceeded to tell Ecklie everything that Sara had told him. Grissom was sure it would not make any difference how Ecklie treated Sara but he wanted Ecklie to know. After he had finished he just stood up and walked away.

He walked into his office, shut and locked the door and drew the blinds. Then he did something he had not done since he was a small child, he sat in his chair, cupped his face in his hands and cried.