Their one year anniversary was celebrated modestly with dinner at Blaine's parents at Rachel's house. Dinner theater was held like any usual night at the Berry household. During the song, Rachel saw that Blaine was singing along with a huge grin. He really did understand that she was Broadway bound, but just couldn't bring himself to move across the country just for something that she could have very well loved more than himself.
He was glad, though, that they had the night together with those they loved the most. His parents, whom he had been unsure about inviting because of how they might have reacted to the Berry trio, were slow dancing through the Berry's living room, something he'd never seen before. Everyone he saw seemed to be so happy, Rachel included, but he couldn't get the thoughts out of his head. How were they going to work it all out in the end?
Steak had been the main course (Rachel was provided a vegan substitute.) After the first few awkward and quiet minutes of the six of them digging into their delicious home cook meals, conversation sparked; once it started, it didn't stop. Blaine's mother and both of Rachel's fathers engaged in deep conversation about new living room trends. After she mentioned she was planning on redoing their living room over the summer, Leroy suggested a few stores she could try for ideas and offered to help out. By the end of the night, Blaine was sure that they'd have a weekend marked on the calender when the project would be taking place.
On the other end of the table, his father seemed to be captivated by Rachel (who wasn't?), who he didn't see often due to his busy work schedule. He never showed it outside the family, but he secretly loved the arts, which was where Blaine assumed he got it from. Rachel explained to him how the community theater she had participated in worked, what the children were like, what shows they'd done, etc. Then, as Blaine suspected she would have, she brought up NYADA. Once his father began to show the slightest interest in the conversation, Rachel really got going, which was when Blaine decided to tune out of their conversation.
He suddenly and shockingly found himself very alone at a place where he could have sworn on any other day that he'd be very comfortable at. His mother was in love with Rachel's parents, his father was in love with Rachel, and Rachel was in love with... Broadway? Everyone who was should have been loving him was busy loving something else. He felt as if he was no longer part of the reason for the celebration, but was just an acquaintance that had been invited to be used as a prop for the celebrating.
Dinner ended and before someone could mention dessert, Blaine suggested he and Rachel take a walk around the neighborhood. He told them all that they'd be back soon enough. It was their anniversary, after all. She gave him a quizzical look, but got up from her seat and followed him outside anyway.
"That was a great time, your dad is lovely," she told him once they were on the sidewalk. She wrapped her arms around her chest, he noticed her shiver. He held out the cardigan he'd been sporting and she took it willingly. "Thanks," she murmured.
"Yeah, who knew our families would get along so well," he replied, and attempted to sound cheerful. He didn't want to have to act, he wanted her to see through his fake, all-too-unnaturally-happy smile, he wanted to have the conversation they kept putting off.
"My dads don't usually make friends so easily. Isn't it nice that they like each other so much? We should do the family dinner thing more often, while we can, I mean. I'm sure I'll leave before the summer is over, just so I can get a feel for the city, so we have to spend time with everyone as much as we can," she went on and on, until she realized he wasn't reacting (or listening, for that matter.) "What?" Her tone was insensitive and in struck a nerve somewhere within him.
"I didn't really like dinner."
"Well, why not?"
"I don't know, I guess I just felt like you were just talking about New York the whole time. I know I said we could get through it, and I mean that, it's just, I don't want to hear about it all the time. It's only making it harder," he explained.
"Well, it's a little unrealistic to just ignore it. It's going to be hard. I thought you already accepted that," she stated.
"I thought we were all about being unrealistic."
"I thought you didn't want to talk about New York."
"Well," he stood there, trying to find words so that he could make his point. He wasn't going to be the one taken down. He'd win the argument. "Now I want to talk about it."
"Too bad, I don't want to talk about it," she complained, refusing to meet his eyes. Her arms were still crossed over her chest but it wasn't because she was cold, she was uncomfortable. She knew that they were going to fight and there wasn't anything she could do about it.
"Oh, that's awfully convincing after the way you talked to my dad about it tonight," he scoffed. Blaine didn't want to ruin their first anniversary; didn't want to fight, but he felt the need to. She had already hurt his feelings and he wasn't going to go without hurting her right back, even though he would have stopped himself immediately if he really knew what he was doing at the time.
"I don't want to," she began, and turned to walk back down the street to her house. Her discomfort only grew when she met eyes with Blaine as he called her name to bring her back. His voice was bitter, and his eyes were hard like they had been since their very first fight. She had started to realize that it had been months since she'd seen the soft and gentle orbs he once obtained. They were long gone.
"Rachel," he repeated, "Do you really think we can just push this aside? This is serious. New York is sooner than either one of us thinks, let's just figure this out, okay?"
"No, Blaine. We're going long distance. There isn't anything to discuss when we already have it figured out," she whispered. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going home where our parents are patiently waiting for us. I don't think it'd be very polite of us to ruin their evening by ditching them to argue out here on the sidewalk." She turned quickly on her heel, and left him behind her alone.
…
Graduation came in a blur. The morning of, Blaine rushed in preparation. He gelled his hair and went over his cap and gown with a lint roller quite thoroughly. He and his parents were going to pick up the Berry's and drive to the ceremony together. Their parents had become decent friends since the anniversary dinner, which Blaine tried to block out of his mind.
His eyes were drooping during the car ride to Rachel's. The two of them had finally managed to have a conversation on the phone all night like they had earlier in the year. Rachel kept him up all night so he could comfort her. She sobbed on the other end of the line about how she would miss her family and friends (but mentioned nothing about him) once she moved away to New York. Of course, the lack of attention she paid him only made him want to start another argument, but he didn't want to mess up graduation.
Just as he had guessed she would, Rachel entered the car with tear stained cheeks. His mother comforted her, but as she did so, she herself burst into tears. By the time they reached the school, Blaine and his father were the only two who weren't bawling hysterically. The scenery was similar once they were surrounded by the glee club. Kurt was blubbering, as were Quinn, Santana, Tina and Mercedes. He caught Puck wipe away a tear or two. He assumed the reason Mr. Schue wasn't present was because he was likely to be in the men's room trying to get a grip.
They were seated on the stage among their classmates. Rachel was squeezing his hand so tightly that he was getting the feeling that his finger tips were turning purple. He ignored the pain, though, because it had been the first time in a long while that they'd held hands. He figured it was a step in the right direction. She cried silent tears and rubbed her thumb along the outside of his hand, which was nice. It was more than nice, he thought, that he had her there again and that he knew she cared. Just as the feeling of happiness began to creep over his heart, Mr. Schuester announced his name into the microphone for all to hear. Rachel refused to let go of his hand until he got to the point where if she didn't let go, he'd have dragged her across the stage with him.
After watching all of the other students collect their diplomas, he and Rachel united with the rest of their grade in the courtyard. Parents lined up all around, taking pictures here and there. The glee club huddled together and after Hiram counted to three, they all threw their red caps into the air excitedly. Kurt found Blaine, who to Kurt's benefit was no where near Rachel (she'd set off to find Tina and Mercedes.)
"It's really not as glamorous as everyone says, is it?" he asked Blaine, looking around at all of the other graduates.
"So, I'm not the only one who isn't having the time of their life?" Blaine chuckled and raised an eyebrow. He figured that Kurt, of all people, would have been the one to act crazily about graduating.
"Oh, no! I believe we're in the same boat," he grinned.
"Hey," Blaine started, "Do you want to come over to Puck's later? I think we're all going over there to celebrate tonight. He wanted to leave Ohio with a bang, I guess."
Kurt's expression turned soft and he looked slightly hurt. "Do you really think that's a good idea, Blaine?" After a few seconds he lightened it up with, "I think the combination of you drinking, and me and Rachel sober would be too much for anyone to handle, don't you? We hardly made it out alive last time. Besides, my dad and Carol decided it'd be a good idea to have a family vacation before Finn and I go our separate ways," he stopped his sentence very abruptly and threw his arms around Blaine, pulling him into a tight hug.
Blaine, although very confused, hugged back just as tightly. Once he let go, they held eye contact and he cleared his throat. "We should hang out sometime this summer."
"Sure, I'll call you. We can do lunch." With a small wave, Kurt made his way through the crowd of no-longer-high-school-students to find his family.
Blaine, his family, and Rachel's parents waited for her in the parking lot. He felt sad, again, when he realized that he only had Kurt to say goodbye to. He had hugged Finn briefly and given a wave to Santana, but there wasn't anyone he found himself saying goodbye to directly. Rachel was the exact opposite. She had the whole glee club to bid adieu, but refused to even look in Kurt's direction. He still couldn't place exactly why that was, either.
…
Puck's place was filled with all kinds of people. Blaine noticed Rachel's disappointment in the fact, she'd thought it'd be a 'glee-club-only' event. All of the glee club was there (except Kurt and Finn,) a few sorority girls Puck knew, football players, Cheerios, and many other people no one, not even Puck, had ever seen before. Already, though, Blaine could see it'd be a night like none other. Girls ran around wearing little to no clothing, there wasn't a person there without a beer, and he was shocked no one had called the police yet.
Puck greeted the two of them with wine coolers, which Rachel politely declined. She stuck her thumb over her shoulder, directing Blaine's eyes to Mercedes who was filling up her red Solo cup at the counter. She ran up to her, obviously looking for a familiar face. Puck shoved the wine cooler into Blaine's hands. He accepted with a wide grin. He wasn't a "partier," so to speak, but he did enjoy the occasional event of getting completely wasted. That was how he and Rachel met, of course.
"This is a... great.. party, man."
"I know, I've already had three girls beg me to stay the night. Hey, we were just getting ready to start a game of beer pong in the basement. You want it?" he suggested, nudging him with his elbow.
"Yeah! Sign me up, let me just go tell Rachel..." he replied.
Puck shook his head quickly and clasped his hand on Blaine's shoulder. He nodded in her direction, "She'll be fine. She's got Mercedes, don't worry about it."
The night went on and on, and before he knew it, Blaine couldn't remember how many drinks he'd had. He felt like he'd been counting so he could be sure, but half way through his second game of beer pong, he felt he'd let himself forget how many he'd had and was getting queasy. He realized it'd been a while since he'd seen Rachel. He told a kid standing around watching that he could take his place in the game, and set off to find her before he was sick, or worse: passed out.
He found her and Mercedes upstairs talking, completely sober, it seemed. They glanced at him when he entered the room. Rachel held her stare and shook her head. "You finally ready to go?" she asked, annoyed. Mercedes rolled her eyes at him.
"Are you-" he was interrupted by his own loud belch, "ready?"
"I was ready ten minutes after we got here. You've been gone for like... three hours," she complained and hurried to the door. "I'll see you later," she told the girl still sitting there.
"Are you mad at me?" Blaine asked, tripping over one of the steps as they made their way out the front door. Rachel snatched away the keys he held in his hand and stormed off to his car parked down the street. He followed slowly, stumbling behind her.
She didn't speak until they were in the car. "What do you mean am I mad at you? Yes. You're being an ass, I can't believe you're so immature," she puffed, turning on the car.
"C'mon, Rach! We were celebrating, it's fun! Loosen up, it feels good," he chuckled stupidly.
"You're an idiot," she breathed.
"I love you," he announced. He leaned in close to her so he could whisper in her ear, "Kiss me." His hot breath was all she could feel on the side of her face, which usually would have been a turn on, but the stench of the alcohol that swarmed her nostrils left little to be desired. He leaned further in attempt to catch her lips but she pushed him away.
"Stop it!" she screamed. "I'm taking you home. Sit back, put your seat belt on, and don't talk to me, please." She pulled out of the parking spot along the road and drove in silence through the dark.
What had been going on with Blaine? Why didn't he care anymore? Was he just giving up on everything they'd worked for within the year they'd been together? NYADA had forced him to give up hope for them, had it? How could he just let her slip away and let go of his grip like he had been doing for so long? It was supposed to be love, that was what they were supposed to have, wasn't it?
A/N: This chapter was a little longer than usual! :) It was actually supposed to be a lot longer, but I had to cut the next part off into the next chapter because I didn't want it to be disproportionate... Well, I hope you enjoyed and don't forget to review! :D
