"Can you believe this?" Came Chris' angry voice from the other side of the line when Darren picked up his phone. "He sent me two bouquets! Two!" Darren would receive those kind of phonecalls every other day.
"Chr-"
"And on one he even asked me out again!"
"But-"
"Does he really think I would say yes to that?"
When he was sure Chris wasn't going to cut him off anymore he dared himself to speak. "Those were mine, actually." He heard a soft 'Oh' escape Chris' lips. "I felt bad because some random guy always sends you roses and cards and I never give you flowers."
"Dare, that's so sweet," Chris eyed his trash can. "but I kind of threw them in the trash." Chris' voice was apologetic. "I'm sorry, I thought they were from Jake."
Darren laughed lightly. "It's alright. I should have written my name on the card."
"They were beautiful, but you really don't have to buy me flowers."
"No flower is as beautiful as you." The other side stayed silent. "Too cheesy?"
"Yeah." Chris laughed.
"So, see you tonight?"
"Defiantly."
"Chris?" Darren asked breathlessly. He didn't know what he was doing. Was he going to say it?
"Yes?" Chris was waiting for Darren to speak.
"See you later." Darren quickly said before he hung up. He couldn't say it yet.
That night Chris arrived at the bar he and Darren had agreed on. He was late because he wanted to look absolutely perfect, so his eyes quickly scanned the crowd for that familiar face. He found it at the bar, but when he was about to step trough the door he saw Darren lean in to say something to the girl he was sitting next to. The girl nodded and took Darren's phone and typed something on it. Chris' body stilled. Is this really happening? The bartender handed two drinks to the girl and she passed one to Darren. The girl handed the bartender the money and Darren just let it happen.
Chris felt sick. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Darren laughed at something the girl was saying and it was like another punch in Chris' stomach. Chris turned around and stumbled out of the pub.
He got in his car and started driving. He didn't even care he was driving in the wrong direction. He just needed to get away from the bar.
To make things worse, his phone buzzed. Chris reached for the phone without giving it a second thought. He glared at the screen.
From Darren:
Hey C are you alright? You're late. You're never late.
How dare he? How can he text me something like that?
Chris turned off the phone and threw it in the passenger's seat. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and forced his tears back. He wasn't going to cry when Darren was having a good time being a dick. He wasn't going to be weak.
But the strong thoughts were taken over by the miserable ones in a fraction of a second.
He sent me fucking flowers this morning! He almost said those three fucking words to me! Or did he want to tell me we were trough? Was he too scared to say it, so he fucking showed me?
Chris parked his car somewhere on the side of a highway. He couldn't take it anymore. He banged his head against the wheel. He didn't care about the honk that went off in the middle of the highway. He got out of the car and he felt the desperate urge to kick something. He kicked the wheel of his car, but when he realised he was being ridiculous all his energy and adrenaline floated out of his body. He sat down on the cold ground against his car.
He didn't know what time it was when he got up. He could have been sitting there for minutes or hours. He didn't know, he didn't care. He didn't know where he was. He couldn't remember how he had gotten there. All he knew was he needed to go home. He wanted to call someone, but that meant turning on his phone and that meant seeing Darren's text.
He pulled himself together and found his way home. When he entered his apartment he was immediately hit by the memories he had made with Darren. The movie nights, their endless phonecalls, working together in silence, cooking together, their first kiss in the bathroom, their first time in the bedroom.
Chris threw himself on the bed and let his tears fall when he let the sleep set in.
"Hey Chris, are you a virgin?" Chris choked on his drink, because that is not what you expect your boyfriend to ask in the middle of a Disney movie.
"No, why?" He said when he was done coughing.
"Well," Darren shifted his seat. "I was just wondering. For me sex is something I share with someone I care about. And we're a couple and I care about you. I was just wondering why we haven't gotten there yet."
"Honestly, I don't think you are ready." Was Chris' response.
Darren didn't know why Chris would just take that decision for him without asking. Chris' tensed position told Darren there was something Chris wasn't telling him. "Well, I am. But of you're not ready, that's okay."
"I'm ready." Was all Chris said. That didn't get Darren any further.
"Okay," Darren stroke Chris' hair to try to sooth the tension. "if we're both ready then why haven't we done it yet?"
Chris sucked in a deep breath before speaking. "Because" He started. "I keep thinking that some day you will realise that all this was just a stupid fling. Some stupid experiment to figure yourself out again." He sighed. "Your life can be so much easier. You can get any pretty girl you want."
"Why don't you get that you're better than any girl in this world?" Darren put his finger under Chris' chin to tilt his head. "Hey, look at me. You are not an experiment. You're nothing like an experiment."
"You're just saying that." Darren shook his head. "You're not out. You don't know what it's like to be yelled at on the streets and have people tell you you're disgusting every single day."
Disgusting? They call him disgusting? They are disgusting! "You're right." Confusion was written across Chris' face. "I've never been through any of that. And it's not going to happen any time soon, but it will some day." Darren promised. "I'm not planning on breaking up with you any time soon, so it's bound to happen sometime."
"Okay." Chris said after letting Darren's words sink in.
"Okay?" Now it was Darren's turn to be confused.
"Okay, let's do it." Chris smiled. He was glowing with a new confidence that Darren had never seen before. He liked it.
"What, now?" Darren asked surprised by Chris' eagerness.
"Yes."
"Alright."
Better than any girl? My ass! Chris thought before he fell asleep.
