Thank you for all the reviews and keep reading; Emma is going to explain to Killian why she tried to be with Graham. Still, there's a long way to go for Killian and Emma, but as always, there's going to be a happy ending.
Killian stumbles into his motel room and stars wrestling his uniform off, fumbling with the buttons and eventually pulling the shirt off over his head. His head is pounding and it's difficult to draw a breath; it seems like the walls are closing in on him, but that's not the worst part.
The worst part is that he's all alone.
A tear rolls down his cheek and he wipes it away with his knuckles, feeling raw and so very tired, but he knows better than trying to sleep; if he closes his eyes, he's going to watch the love of his life kiss his best friend until he goes under and starts having nightmares, and tonight, he doesn't think he can take that.
Tonight, he wants to drink until he falls and forgets everything that had happened.
He changes into slacks and a simple white T-shirt with a button down over it, but he doesn't have the patience to try and do the buttons; he glances at his left hand and looks away immediately, wondering if he's ever going to get used to the valleys and peaks of burned flesh and the fact that he can't feel it at all.
Probably not.
Out of the corner of his eye he catches sight of a picture peeking out from the inside pocket of his duffle bag and he kneels next to it, unable to stop himself from reaching for it. His hand trembles, and he balls it into a tight fist for a moment, then takes the picture out and stares at Emma's blonde curls and her beaming smile.
She looks like an angel, and his heart is a raw, broken thing inside his chest, making him wish it could turn to stone so he couldn't tell it's there anymore.
For four long, painful months, he'd been dreaming about his angel, about his Swan girl waiting for him to come home, where he would finally be able to rest and heal in her arms, and he had managed to convince himself that she would wait for as long as it took for him to return.
He believed a lie because even the possibility of finding her with somebody else made him too panicky, but it wasn't even in his worst nightmares that he saw her moving on with his best friend.
Killian caresses the picture with his thumb and puts it back into his bag, then leaves the motel room and heads for the closest bar.
It's not even 9 p.m. yet, but Killian is on his fifth shot, reminiscing with Eric and Jefferson when Graham comes in, looking relieved that he'd found Killian there.
All the pilots in the bar who know them suddenly find their glasses incredibly interesting.
"Have a drink", Killian says and pours Graham a generous amount of rum.
"Can we talk in private?" Graham says, ignoring the drink and pissing Killian off.
"No, we bloody well can't", he snaps and downs the shot meant for Graham.
"We're gonna go", Eric says and tries to slide from his bar stool, but Killian grabs his shoulder and shakes his head.
"If anybody's leaving, it's Humbert", he says and Eric gives up, exchanging a long look with Jefferson and going back to his beer.
"You're drunk", Graham says and anger courses through Killian's veins.
"And you're an appalling friend", Killian tells him flatly. "That's new."
"You told me to take care of her if something happens to you", Graham says, and Killian hates how he makes it sound like Killian's the one being unreasonable.
"I didn't tell you to start banging her five minutes after I died", Killian yells at him, flashes of Emma rising over Graham like a goddess that she is making him wish he really were dead.
"You were dead for over four months the first time I kissed her and we never-"
"Spare me the details, I'd rather not know", Killian talks over him and pours himself another round.
"Didn't you hear what she said?! She loves you!" Graham says, and Killian feels a tiny pang of compassion for his ex best friend, but he chases it away with another shot.
"Obviously not enough", Killian says and gives Graham a mock salute. "She's all yours, Lieutenant."
"You need to go home and sleep it off", Graham says, ignoring his last remark, and Killian chuckles into his shot glass.
"Home? Emma was my home, she was the only thing I had left, and now-", he trails off and grits his teeth, telling himself to shut up, but there's too much alcohol in his system for him to keep quiet. "You know, when I finally woke up in that field hospital in France and realized that I can't feel my hand, much less move my fingers, it felt like the world had ended. I knew they would never let me fly again like this, but I told myself to suck it up because I still had the only thing that matters in life; true love. Thanks for proving me wrong."
"That's enough. I'm cutting you off", Graham says after a moment of stunned silence and snatches the bottle out of Killian's reach.
Killian gets up and punches him right in the jaw, making him stumble back into a couple of sailors. The rum bottle falls on the floor and shatters, and the room erupts in violence; the sailors attack Graham, Eric and Jefferson jump to help him, and Killian has to duck to avoid getting knocked out by a mountain of a man that's obviously with the sailors.
Then the owner of the bar calls the MP, and Killian finds himself running away from them with Graham at his side.
"This way!" Graham yells and steers him toward his car, and for a moment they are brothers again.
Killian wakes up to the sound of buzzing that sounds suspiciously like a bunch of planes going into a fight.
"Somebody should tell those idiots in the Navy that it's Sunday", Graham groans and Killian opens his eyes to find himself lying on the back seat of Graham's car.
The buzzing grows more insistent and Killian sits up, squinting up at the sky just as the first explosion shakes the ground; a bouquet of black flowers blossoms over the harbor followed by the groaning of Oklahoma's hull and screams of sailors that carry all too well over the water.
"What the-", Graham jumps up on the seat to see better, and Killian pulls him down a second before a rain of bullets sings through the air.
For a moment, Killian is back in his plane, burning and crying for help, but then Graham yells at him to let go and Killian snaps himself to the present, keeping low in the passenger seat while Graham starts the car and drives away.
"Does this mean what I think it means?" Graham asks, his face pale and serious, and Killian nods, watching the Japanese bombers drop their deadly cargo over two dozen ships and God knows how many sailors on them.
"Just find us each a plane", Killian says and Graham shifts into a higher gear, heading for the base.
Despite all the madness happening around him, Killian's eyes are drawn to the hospital, to the last place he'd seen Emma at, and he silently prays that she's going to stay safe.
He doesn't care what happens to him or any other person on this island as long as Emma Swan remains unharmed.
It takes them less than five minutes to reach Hickam Field, and they barely make it to a bunker before a squadron of Zeroes breaks through the clouds to shower the planes and the pilots running toward them with machine-gun fire.
"Get me to a bloody plane, Humbert!" Killian bellows once the first wave flies over them and Graham leads him and a few others from their squadron toward the hangar closest to them.
And then he makes a phone call.
"Leroy? Yeah, looks like it. Fuel and arm as many planes as you can and pray that we get there before the Japs!"
"Where are we going?" Killian asks as they race back across the runway toward Graham's car, already trying to figure out a way to fly a plane with just one good hand.
"There's an auxiliary field in Haleiwa that hasn't been hit yet", Graham yells as they duck for cover when another wave of Zeroes peppers them with bullets. "Are you sure you can fly? I mean, your hand-"
"Forget my bloody hand!" Killian yells and ignores his concerned look, and then they are diving into the car, Eric and Jefferson joining them along with two pilots Killian doesn't know.
"Gun it, Graham!" Jefferson practically screams and Graham drives at break-neck speed to reach the field before it gets leveled with the ground, an occasional bullet flying over their heads; they can't see the harbor from here, but they can see the sky over it, and it's black with smoke.
Killian grips the door handle tightly and flinches when a bullet whizzes past his ear, making him realize that he's nowhere near ready to die yet.
He needs to tell Emma that he loves her at least one more time.
The runway is still miraculously spared when Graham pulls to a stop in front of the only hangar and all of them tumble out of the car.
A short, bald Sergeant wearing a cap that says Leroy comes to meet them and points at the three planes behind him, a shotgun slung on his shoulder.
"That's all I've got", he says, his sharp eyes resting on Killian a little while longer than on any other pilot.
"He flew in the Eagle Squadron", Graham says and Leroy gives Killian an approving nod, then glances toward Killian's hand before he waves them to follow him.
Killian gets into the first plane, Graham in the second, and Jefferson in the third, and it's hard not to wonder which one of them won't be coming back from this flight.
"Hand on the control wheel", Leroy says and rolls his eyes when Killian looks at him in confusion. "Come on, pretty boy, do you want to fly today or what? Put the busted hand on the wheel so I can tie it and we can get this show in the air."
Killian does as he's told and rushes through the pre-flight checks while Leroy secures his hand, and then he's ready to go.
"Thank you, Serg."
"Don't make me regret it", Leroy says and mock salutes him before jumping down from the wing and yelling at his men to clear the runway.
Killian looks over at Graham and gives him a tight nod, and then they move out from the hangar, slowly increasing their speed down the runway.
Jefferson is ahead of them, but before he can get in the air, a Zero flies over their heads and comes low on the deck, lining its sights on their friend.
"Turn! Right now Jefferson!" Killian screams into his microphone and Jefferson ends up with a wing buried into a shack next to the runway, but hopefully he's in one piece. "Graham, let's show him how it's done."
"Roger that", Graham says and a minute later they are in the air, chasing Zeroes across the sky, watching each other's back the way they've been doing their entire lives.
The island looks like it's on fire, and Killian can't help thinking about Emma, so delicate and beautiful amidst the carnage, and for the next hour he does everything in his power to bring down as many enemy planes as he can.
Once it's over, and he climbs down from his plane, his hand is shaking and he feels like he might collapse any second now, but he makes himself put one foot in front of the other, his eyes finding Graham's because they have one more thing to do before they can sit down and take a breather.
They need to go see if the woman they both love is alright.
"Who taught you how to fly, Lieutenant?" Leroy asks Graham and he points at Killian before sliding behind the wheel of his car.
"He did", Graham says and waits for Killian to get in the car before they roar back on the road; Killian slumps low in his seat and blinks fast to clear his blurry vision, thinking how he'd never felt like this after a flight, but guessing it's to be expected, considering the fact that he just flew a four thousand pounds plane with just one properly working hand.
Getting into the hospital is another battle, but eventually they manage, and it's only when they round the corner to find Emma walking toward them, slightly swaying from exhaustion, but otherwise looking well, that Killian finally acknowledges that something is wrong with him.
He says her name but it comes out softer than a whisper and then the floor rises up to meet him; the last thing he sees before losing consciousness is her worried face floating over him.
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