Chapter 11

The heavy boxes of explosives were easy to move from one place to another, however, if became increasingly difficult to do so when Waylon's employer continuously preached about his own intelligence, like a narcissistic sermon. The criminals of Gotham usually hired him for muscle work, be it heavy lifting or roughing someone up. Disposal was another reason but since Penguin had enslaved him for that very job he had decided to pass on any offers of that nature. It felt good to be doing some work again, and took his mind of the fact Madeline hadn't been around since that night.

"Riddle me this. I have keys but no locks. I have space but no room. You can enter, but you can't go outside. What am I?"

Waylon groaned and rolled his eyes, placing another box amongst the ever growing pile. Did this guy ever shut the hell up? It was like he loved listening to his own voice, which he probably did.

"Got you stumped. I'm a keyboard!" Riddler announced triumphantly, throwing his arms in the air and swinging his legs as he sat on one of the boxes Waylon was yet to move. "How about another, I'll make it an easy one. I can only live where there is light, but I die if the light shines on me."

"How am I supposed to know." He mumbled, picking up another box and lugging it over.

"A shadow!" Riddler giggled. "That was as easy as 3.14159265359..."

"Oh for god's sake shut up." Waylon pleaded, dropping the box and glaring at the annoying man in green. He hated the stuck up nerd, but unlike most other criminals in Gotham, Riddler actually paid Waylon for his services in full before the plan was foiled by Batman, not afterwards like Penguin did providing the plan actually worked, and certainly not half before and half after like Twoface insisted on doing.

"Pie." Riddler grumbled, glaring back at Waylon for interrupting him. "As easy as Pie, or more specifically Pi, the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter."

"Again, shut the hell up."

"If you keep acting rude I'll dock your pay." Riddler threatened cheerfully.

"No you won't." Waylon said without missing a beat in an equally as cheerful tone.

"No I won't." Riddler admitted sheepishly, looking down. The guy was smart enough to know that Waylon would break every bone in his body if he skimped on the pay. He was scrawny and slow moving, better behind a desk rather than in the midst of the fighting, hence why he insisted on making it impossibly difficult for anyone to find him. Even Batman seemed to get tired of all the puzzles and just give up to do something better for a while. The man was annoying and obnoxious, a combination that usually sent Waylon into a violent rage.

"Okay one more." Riddler insisted after only one blissful moment of silence. "What flies when it is born, lies when it is alive, and runs when it is dead? Give up? A snowflake!"

"I don't even understand that one." Waylon complained, shaking his head. He was dumb he knew that, but Riddler just made him feel retarded. Were people supposed to get that riddle, because it sounded like a load of bullshit. He felt vaguely sorry for the people who would get blown up because Batman couldn't solve that impossible Riddle.

"That is because you my friend are not as intelligent and genius as I. Then again, no one is, not even the great detective can outwit me." Riddler announced, inflating his own ego some more, not that it needed it.

"Hasn't he already captured you a dozen times? That sounds like outwitting you to me."

Riddler glared at Waylon again who grinned with satisfaction.

"He cheated."

"Did he Ed? Did he really?"

"YES HE DID!" Riddler yelled, getting to his feet to try and look intimidating but even for a relatively tall guy he was still tiny in comparison to Waylon, and weak too in his scruffy green shirt covered in drawn on question marks. Waylon just looked at Riddler and shook his head, which only made the scrawny man angrier, and thus more entertaining.

Riddler slumped down on his seat with his arms folded like an angry toddler.

"At least I'm smart enough to know to not charge in headfirst swinging my fists like a buffoon when fighting Batman. Hence why you've been in Arkham more than I have." Riddler grumbled, trying to take a jab at Waylon where he could which was surprising since that usually made him go violent. Luckily for Riddler however, Waylon was thinking about other things, like Madeline and when he was going to see her again and if he would ever see her again. They had both been so quiet when he'd taken her home, neither of them had decided on what to do in the future or if they even had a future.

The thought of the future did puzzle Waylon a little though. He didn't quite know exactly how the future would pan out if Madeline was to be in it. He couldn't be a criminal forever, and if he had Madeline around he certainly wouldn't want to die young like he had originally intended. He would especially like to stay out of Arkham Asylumn too so Madeline wasn't alone for extended periods of time, he didn't want to do that to her. But what did that leave for the future. He was a fool to think they could have a family together, the thought of it was just absurd, and if the kid was like him then Madeline would most likely die. Where the hell would they even live, a shack out in the middle of nowhere, that was no life for anyone, especially someone as vibrant and sociable as Madeline. If none of those ideas sounded right though, didn't that tell him there was no future? He didn't want to accept that as a reality.

"...honestly if you keep falling for the same old attack method he uses then you've seriously got to consider..." Riddler droned, and Waylon hadn't realised the guy had kept on talking.

"Okay, okay I get it. I'm dumb, you're smart, whatever." Waylon interrupted, praying Riddler would end his endless droning.

"Hmm. You're being unusually docile today. What's wrong with you?" Riddler asked, curiously stroking his chin and peering at Waylon. Waylon was going to grumble and tell Riddler to shut up but he hesitated long enough to consider the fact, one that Riddler had been repeatedly pointing out all day, that Riddler was smart. Perhaps he could provide a solution to the little Madeline problem, or at least help Waylon figure out why she hadn't been around to see him.

"You have any experience with women?" Waylon asked blankly, catching Riddler of guard.

"Women? Why the hell do you need to know that?" Riddler asked, now he was the confused one.

"Because you're the only guy that might know anything about dealing with women. Penguin buys 'em, Twoface practically dates himself, and Joker is Joker so that really only leaves you which isn't saying much since I assume you've never gotten laid in your life."

"What the hell gives you that impression?" Riddler exclaimed, his eyes growing wide with fear rather than shock. Yep, he was a virgin alright, or at least had never had anyone other than prostitutes. It wasn't really that surprising, the guy was too annoying and would probably talk the whole way through. That and he was crazy.

"So what did you do when you were a high school nerd struggling to ask a girl to prom? Or rather, what would you have done if you'd ever climbed out of that locker I assume you were stuffed in every lunch time."

"It is quite obvious you never went to high school."

"Yes but am I wrong?"

Riddler scowled at Waylon.

"Why do you need to know about women?" He asked through gritted teeth, clearly annoyed.

"What do you do with them?" Waylon asked, not really phrasing the question correctly. He didn't really know what he was asking.

"I'd imagine you'd eat them." Riddler grumbled bitterly. Waylon rolled his eyes, cannibal jokes were not funny unless he made them.

"Not this one. What do I do to keep a woman I had sex with come back and spend time with me?"

"Woah woah woah." Riddler said, putting his hands up to slow Waylon down a little. "Back track for a moment there. You had sex?"

"Yes."

"With a woman?"

"Yes."

"For free?"

"Yes."

"Willingly?"

"Yes for fucks sake, she wasn't drunk, drugged or unconscious, and she enjoyed it. Now how do I make her come back."

Riddler thought for another moment, narrowing his eyes as his genius mind set to work on answering this question.

"I do not know." He admitted after a considerable amount of time.

"How can you not know. You're supposed to be smart." Waylon snapped, growling as he spoke.

"Well I suppose I can hypothesize. Is she real?"

"Yes you asshole she is real."

"Is she ugly? She might be embarrassed to show her face." Riddler theorised, only making Waylon angry. Madeline was far from being ugly, but could she be embarrassed of him?

"No, she's gorgeous." Waylon corrected with a snarl. "We had sex and it was great, but she didn't say a word to me on the way back to her place and hasn't contacted me since. What do I do?"

"Hmm, well did you say anything to her?" Riddler asked and Waylon's growling went silent. He hadn't said anything because he felt awkward that Madeline hadn't said anything.

"You didn't did you? Idiot. The poor girl probably has the same mind set as you. You are both wondering why the other person hasn't come to see you yet and why neither of you said anything, making yourselves worry for nothing." Riddler suggested, hitting the nail on the head like a tonne of bricks. "That or she really is embarrassed that she slept with you and is avoiding you because of it. Pick whichever one you like I don't really care."

Waylon turned and picked up another box to move as he thought to himself. He certainly prayed it was the former of the two, would be more easily solved. It would be funny if the whole thing was down to them both being awkward and worrying about stuff they didn't need to worry about. However, he did have a nagging thought that it was the latter and Madeline really was avoiding him because she was embarrassed of what she'd done. It certainly wouldn't be unbelievable for that to be true, but he hoped it wasn't the case. Especially since he had told he loved her, and whether or not she had heard that remained to be unseen. Then the penny dropped. What if things had been awkward because she'd heard him say that and the idea of it freaked her out. Maybe that was it, or maybe he was just clinging to whatever paranoid idea he could think of.

"So does this girl have a friend?" Riddler asked, snapping Waylon out of his paranoid thoughts with an unexpected question.

"What?"

"Does she have a friend? Preferably single, for me I mean." Riddler asked, still managing to sound like an narcissistic asshole.

"She does have a friend, but not for you."

"Why not. I'm handsome, charming, intellectual..."

"Self absorbed." Waylon added without missing a beat. Riddler glared at him again but continued anyway.

"I'm a real catch. There just aren't any women good enough for me." Riddler announced, practically kissing his own ass he was so full of himself.

"You mean good enough at putting up with your constant narcissistic droning?" Waylon grumbled, placing the box down at the nearly complete pile.

Waylon did wonder however, what it was that Madeline saw in him that made her want to be around him in the first place, or at least had wanted to be around him. He wasn't smart, he wasn't particularly charming, and he certainly wasn't handsome. Was it because of a lack of these things that she was staying away, was the sex alone not enough to keep her around. Of course it wasn't, she was a woman, they wanted more than sex, like flowers and chocolates, long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, that sort of thing, none of which he could manage, not really. Then he had an idea.

"Do you think perhaps she is staying away from me because we haven't been on a date?" He asked, startling Riddler a little with his question.

"Perhaps." Riddler said. "It could be a possibility since I assume you went straight from strangers to sex with nothing in-between, and women do usually like to go on dates."

"So perhaps if I ask her on a couple dates she'll come around more often?"

"Maybe. That all depends if she isn't embarrassed about sleeping with you. Also, where would you go?" Riddler asked, a valid question. Not many places accepted wanted criminals for dinner, especially not giant cannibalistic crocodile ones.

"Penguin does own an underground club for super criminals, the Spoilt Rose or something profane like that." Riddler suggested. "I don't think he has any parties coming up though."

"Not Penguin. He and I are on bad terms." Waylon admitted as he moved the last box to the pile.

"Well I'm sure you will work something out." Riddler said, hopping off his box so Waylon could move it. "From what I've observed women like grand gestures of romance or simple dates that make them feel like they could be anywhere with you and still have a good time. It's a common trick. Ice-cream on the beach, watching the stars, something simple that makes them feel like your relationship is unique and special because of the simplicity, despite the fact that this is overused in every romance movie making it rather mundane and ordinary."

"You're fun at parties aren't you?"

"I'm giving you advice here, take it or leave it, you don't have to be rude about it." Riddler grumbled, turning on his heel to leave the room now that the explosives had been set and he could commence his devious plan or whatever it was Riddler did to get Batman's attention.

"Thank you then." Waylon said as he was about to follow the other hallway to the sewer entrance. They were under the Gotham Bank in the ruins of the old Gotham so there was an extensive network of tunnels and systems for him to use to get around the city.

"You're welcome." Riddler said, sounding surprised at Waylon's manners.

After a moment of thought Riddler turned around again just as Waylon was about to crawl back into the sewers.

"Hey," he called awkwardly. "Did you want to get a drink some time, catch a game or something?" He asked, failing miserably at this manly friendship crap.

"I'm not your friend Riddler." Waylon said as he lifted the cover to the tunnel he had come in through. "You're an annoying little bitch." And with that he dove into the water and followed the tunnel back to his warehouse, racking his brain for a date idea along the way.

Yeah so Waylon and Riddler had a chat, thought I'd get some more characters in there but this chapter is overall kind of boring but necessary. God Riddler is annoying though. Anyway, Waylon is overthinking things way too much, which is a surprisingly common characteristic in dumb people (like my ex boyfriend for example) that usually ruins everything, but can he think of a date idea to keep Madeline coming back for him, and what kind of date will he take her on? Find out next time.