Book 1
Chapter Twelve
Lunch was painfully awkward as Charles remained uncharacteristically quiet, caught in his thoughts. Belle wanted to reach out to him but decided against it, figuring she would speak to him during their practice. Still, she couldn't help but look over to him repeatedly during her conversation with Moira and Erik, both of whom noticed her distracted nature.
"Are you alright, Belle?" Erik asked, his eyebrows knit closer as he watched Charles through his peripheral vision. The question seemed to startle her as she hopped slightly in her seat.
"Why do you ask?" She responded, trying to place her reaction off.
"You seem a bit..." Moira started before glancing at Charles subtly. "...distracted." Belle followed her eyes and bit her lips gently, Erik looking at Moira in concern. "Belle?"
"Sorry," she managed as she turned her attention to them again. "I just...when Sean fell from the satellite, it triggered something."
"Like what?" Erik whispered, watching her closely. When her eyes met his own, he slowly nodded his head. "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?" She dodged his glance, staring at her fidgeting hands.
"I...I don't know. It's never happened before and...I think it goes beyond that."
"How so?" Moira asked, placing her hands on top of Belle's. Taking a deep breath, the young telepath managed to string together the words she wanted.
"It wasn't just reliving the night of the bombing. It's like my mind is manipulating it...I saw something that didn't happen."
"...are you sure? Maybe it-" Her head snapped up and Erik got quiet immediately when he saw the surging fear in her eyes.
"It couldn't have happened, Erik. She was dead long before it happened," she whispered. Neither of them got to say a word as Charles suddenly got up from his chair and stood behind Moira, the group falling quiet. He watched Belle carefully.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to borrow Moira for a bit and I believe Hank is already in the lab waiting on you, Belle," he said very calmly, his eyes never leaving hers as she nodded and got up to leave. He made to say something else, but she turned and walked away before he could say another word. All he could do was let out a sigh. "How is she?" he asked them, staring off after her.
"Shaken," Erik said curtly before rising and making his way out of the room. He obviously didn't mean it in a rude or defensive manner, and Charles could hear the concern bleeding from his tone. Down in the lab, Hank showed Belle rough sketches of her potential suit. They had addressed the material and style of the majority of the suit as it was standard with the others. Hank pointed to the place where the sleeves would be, the sketches each varying in sleeve lengths.
"I've been thinking about your tattoos. They rise from under the skin when you use your powers but disappear after. I wasn't sure what to do to not cause discomfort but you need some kind of protection there." She chuckled to herself.
"Hank, I heal quickly. I doubt I'll need anything to cover them," she said, giving him a shrug as she focused on the fabric swatches in front of her and ran them through her fingers.
"...so how short should they be?" She glanced over the sketches again before pointing at one.
"Quarter sleeves." Hesitantly, Hank wrote down the measures and watched Belle as she went back to focusing on the swatches.
"Is everything alright between you and Charles?" She slowly dropped the fabrics and turn to him as he focused on writing his numbers.
"Charles...is just worried about me. You know how he is," she whispered, looking down at his writing.
"We're all worried about you," Hank said softly, sparing her a concerned glance before focusing on the paper again. "You've always kept to yourself, which I can respect, but after the whole Shaw incident..." he trailed off. Belle carefully placed a hand on his shoulder.
"I have a lot of issues I need to work through...I've always had a lot of baggage. I just...I didn't expect it to ever come back around full circle." Finishing his notes, he leaned against the table and shot her a small smile.
"We're all here for you if you ever need someone. We know you prefer to confide in Charles and Moira and Erik, but we're here for you too," he reassured her. With a smile on her lips, she casually ruffled his hair.
"Are we done with the suit?" She was bouncing on her heels, obviously ready to head off again.
"You're all set," he laughed as she pushed away from the table and gave him a beaming smile.
"See you later!" She slipped out of the room and proceeded down the hallway, heading to the gardens. Her smile had slipped from her face and the spring in her step has faded as she entered and started walking around hedges. As she went to enter the middle clearing, she slightly backed into the shade the shrubbery provided as she noticed Charles and Moira standing together, Charles pacing nervously.
"I don't even know where to start. I never would have brought her into this if I had known, Moira. I should have left her to her life back in the capital." Moira sighed, frowning at him.
"Charles, just talk to her. She said she had never experienced it before. It could have been a random incident-" He whirled around to face her, his face pale.
"It takes one incident for her to get killed. I wouldn't be able to live with that guilt if she..." his voice cracked from emotion and he paused to take a deep breathe, Belle unintentionally inching forward slightly in concern. "...I wouldn't be able to live with that guilt if something happened…to her." Moira placed a hand on his shoulder as he turned away from her.
"You know she won't back down from this. If anything, this might help her, give her closure-" he shrugged her off and continued his pacing.
"I can't put her in harm's way. She's already been through enough. I refuse-"
"We both know that's not your choice," she said coldly. Charles froze, his eyes focused in Belle's direction. She wanted to hide better or come out into view, but she chose to stay put, watching helplessly as his lip quivered slightly. After a moment of silence, Belle could hear Moira soften on her stance as she sighed and continued. "Charles, she'll be here to train with you soon. What are you going to tell her?" He didn't answer, just looking at the shrubs where she was. With a sigh, Moira made to leave. "Let me know how it goes." So focused on his frozen figure, Belle barely heard Moira's heels clicking closer in her direction until she could practically smell her perfume. In a split second decision, she swiftly stepped into a hedge and let it envelop her, watching as Moira briskly pressed on. After a few moments of silence without the clicking sound, Belle reemerged and slowly walked to the center of the garden, where Charles was waiting with her eyes trained on her. He opened his mouth to say something, but she beat his words by quickly wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. He didn't hesitate to return the hug, the pair separating after the moment of warmth and comfort passed between them.
"Charles…I know you're worried about what happened earlier...and I know you're worried it will happen again and that if it does, the timing might get me killed." She stared into his blue eyes, which were glossy.
"Yes." His voice croaked compared to its usual smoothness. She blinked for a moment as she hesitated. The idea she had was something she would never do, but...she couldn't help but reason herself into it.
"Do you trust me?"
"Absolutely." He didn't even bother to hesitate or hide the certainty in his voice, making her heart swell a bit at his faith in her.
"Take me to a clearing, some kind of field." He shot her a look but with his arm still slung over her shoulder and her arm still wrapped around his waist from their hug, he led her to a grassy area past the initial gardens, taking the exit furthest away from the manor. "Hold on tightly," she whispered, tightening her grip on his waist as an emphasis and he responded accordingly. Belle closed her eyes and after a moment of still quiet, the ground beneath them began to shake as a tree began to sprout a foot or so next to them. Her eyes opened, almost glowing slightly as the tree slowed its growth, stopping about thirty or forty feet high. Belle waved her available hand slightly, forming two swings on the lower branches and slowly making her way over to sit on one. Charles approached the empty swing with caution in his step and sat down, keeping his eyes down.
"Belle...what happened to you?" She chuckled and looked at his face, which remained somber. The slight smile on her lips fell quickly.
"Charles?" she whispered shakily.
"What do I know about you?" Eyes glossing over slightly, she started to fidget.
"You know what I've told you and what you've seen. Isn't that enough-"
"Apparently not because I didn't know something like that could happen to you." Belle stared at him as his hands clenched into angry fists. "I never would have sought you out or brought you here if I had known." Belle winced at the anger in his voice.
"But...we wouldn't have met if you hadn't..." she whispered softly, searching him for any kind of softness. Instead, she saw his jaw clench tightly.
"Maybe it would have been for the best." He made to get up, but her sadness turned into anger.
H
"You want to know what happened to me? Fine," she hissed, catching Charles's attention. His shoulders stayed alert but his jaw unclenched and he watched her carefully as she angrily pulled her eyes away from him. "I was in a hellhole and I had one friend. Just one. And I had to not only torture her but also kill her with my bare hands, with these god-forsaken powers. The General kept a gun pointed at me and I had to do it." She closed her eyes and opened and closed her palms, trying to release the tension she was holding inside without snapping. Charles stared at her.
"They weaponized you." She ignored his whisper, eyes still closed and palms still flexing.
"And when I tried to help her, he shot me." Charles stared at her hands as she fought the tattoos that were trying to creep up her arms.
"Do you blame yourself?" Belle froze for a moment before looking up at Charles, her anger replaced by confusion.
"...what?" He placed his hands in his packet and hesitated before continuing.
"Was there anything you could have done to save her?" She looked like a deer in headlights, unsure what to say as she stared at him. Her hands slackened and, to his great relief, Charles noticed the tattoos fade completely. Once her shock faded as well, she began to stutter, trying to piece her thoughts together.
"I...I mean...I could have killed him instead but...but I-"
"You're not a killer." She shut her mouth and watched him as he came closer to her, kneeling in front of her and placing his hands on her knees. "You don't have the mind of a killer. You don't have the heart of a killer. You don't have the soul of a killer."
"But...but I-"
"You did what you were forced to do. That's not the same thing." Belle stared at him, tears welled up as she leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his with her hands on the side of his head. The tips of her fingers grazed his temples as she let him into her mind freely and willingly. She showed him her tutoring sessions with Caroline and the bond they formed. She showed him the times she snuck around to visit Caroline when she was a prisoner. But most of all, she showed him the little girl who had just tortured her best friend and had seen her take a painful bullet trying to heal her before being shot in the arm and sobbing as she felt herself steal the life from her friend, getting a grasp on the labored breath in her lungs and carefully extract it with her shaking hands. She let the memory of her staring down at a wet blob of a journal fade and closed her eyes as she pulled her shaking fingers away. And after a moment, she fell to her knees and wept. Charles held her tightly as her sobs shook her body, his hands placed just above the small of her back and against the back of her neck while his lips brushed her ear gently.
"You're safe," he whispered. "I've got you." She held him with a hand grabbing onto the back of his shirt and an arm around his neck, the two holding each other firm and steady.
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