Author's note: thank you very much for all your reviews!
Chapter Twelve: From The Past
"Excuse me..."
The sound of a spoon hitting a glass delicately made the tables turn quiet and within a couple of seconds, Constance caught the attention of everyone.
Sitting nearby, Jane observed her and surprised herself being envious of this woman. Of her elegance, of her aura. Her presence.
Not intimidated the slightest bit by the fact a whole crowd was staring at her, Maura's mother smiled politely and took a deep breath; a peaceful smile playing on her lips.
"I would like to make a toast. I know this wasn't planned and usually the brides' parents are not the ones who are supposed to do so but... But I felt like to." Constance's smile froze as an ounce of seriousness seemed to embrace her features. She looked at Maura, shrugged nicely. "I always knew that you would marry Jane. I always knew that she would be the one even if it would take you twenty years to realize it and dare to open up about your feelings. You must think my sudden behavior is strange because I am not used to expressing myself this way when I'm with you but... I didn't abuse of this wonderful Champagne, I simply think it is time for me to be honest with you. With the two of you."
Constance nodded at Jane and Maura, smiled as she noticed the way the brunette's hand was holding tightly her daughter's shaking one.
"Whenever I am asked what makes me the proudest in life then without hesitation, I reply it is you. The adorable child you were grew up to be a wonderful – successful – and oh so smart woman. Someone who found the courage – in a society that isn't always tender with everyone – to assume who she was and embrace her dreams. Jane was made for you, I knew it as soon as I met her. You complete each other... Perhaps I should have told you about all this earlier, it even seems rather obvious when I think about it... But at times, it is hard to put words on what we feel. I have been very clumsy and I apologize. I am proud to be your mother and I will be for the rest of my life."
Long after Constance would have sat back on her chair – giving a playful wink at her – Maura would still be floating halfway between reality and doubts. Her mother's words would haunt her mind, steal her heart to make it beat differently. Faster, perhaps. Louder, for sure. She had not expected that. Not such a speech, even less in front of her friends and Jane's family. In her craziest dreams, it would have happened in the anonymity of a coffee shop or at an airport as Constance would have been about to leave. But not at the celebration of her wedding. Not on the rooftop of an elegant hotel that overlooked Boston Harbor at night.
Not in front of everyone.
Rocked by the music and Jane's scent that went to her head dizzily, the honey blonde closed her eyes then leaned a bit more in her wife's arms as they moved slowly to the music being played in the background. A serene smile was lighting up her features, bringing grace to her delicate face. It was late in the night but the warm breeze cooled down the temperatures and she had never felt so fine.
"Maura?"
Jane's hoarse voice took her out of her dreams. She straightened up and looked up at her wife who – in spite of the early complains – was doing wonderful in these stilettos that suited the dress she had decided to wear a lot better than the flat shoes she had chosen in the first place.
"What?"
Discreet motion of the head. Maura turned around – following the movement – and saw her mother standing slightly timidly a few feet away, hands in her back. Constance seemed to be waiting for her to notice her presence and the fact she probably wanted to leave now.
"Oh... I will be right back." Maura cast a brief glance at Jane who nodded then walked to her mother.
And now what?
They hadn't talked since Constance's speech. Maura had thanked her in front of everyone – a traditional kiss on her mother's cheek concluding the whole thing – but there hadn't been any face-to-face whatsoever either. Until now. Nervously, Maura swallowed hard and smiled.
"Are you leaving?"
Constance nodded. "It is late and I am slightly jet lagged. If I don't want to miss our breakfast tomorrow morning then it is time for me to head to bed. It was the loveliest wedding dinner I have ever attended. Congratulations again. For everything."
A thousand questions were rushing to her mind – bumping into each other loudly – but none managed to pass her lips. Instead, the medical examiner looked down – nodded – and felt the wave of heat rush up her cheeks. "Thank you. Jane and I are glad that you liked it."
It had been rather informal. Apart from the white cake brought at the end of the meal, people might have assumed that it was just a birthday celebration. There was no wedding dress, no bridesmaids. Just people laughing and celebrating love in its simplest, purest form.
Alright. That and the fact Jane was wearing a dress but such a fact wasn't as rare as one could assume.
She always wore one on big occasions, or even smaller like a brunch in town but this was the kind of detail that Maura preferred to keep under silence for knowing way too much how Jane would deny the veracity of such fact.
Constance nodded – seemed to hesitate for a few seconds – then turned around but before she had a chance to properly leave, Maura stopped her. A hand on her arm.
Back to their face-to-face, their clumsy one. It had always been clumsy between them anyway so why would it change now?
"Thank you for... For what you said, about Jane and I. About... The whole thing." Now this has to be your clearest statement of the year, Isles. Congratulations. Blushing, Maura shrugged and ran her tongue on her lips. "I am happy to know that I haven't disappointed you."
"How could you? Even when you spoke to stones as a child you were the loveliest person I had met and I couldn't imagine my life without you anymore. Your father and I should have been more explicit – we aren't good at it – but you brought sense to our existence. I have no idea whatsoever of where I would be if you hadn't showed up in our lives."
The music hadn't stopped playing but Maura couldn't hear it anymore nonetheless. Actually, the whole world seemed to have stopped turning and she had been left there – in a bubble – deafened by her mother's confession.
"When is your artificial insemination scheduled for?"
As if she hadn't been taken aback enough, the question made her freeze. Utterly surprised, she stared at her mother in disbelief. But Constance mistook her silence and shook her head.
"I am sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I had simply assumed that... I don't know. I am sorry."
Maura blinked. What was going on? "How did you guess? Nobody knows about it here... Except for Jane, Lisa and Guadalupe. And Susie... How... I don't understand."
An odd smile haunted Constance's lips for ephemeral seconds as she held her daughter's incredulous gaze. "A woman who has gone through the same can't but notice the change. Your cheeks are fuller, your waist as well. Hormonal injections can make you put on extra weight but it appears differently than through a simply less healthy diet."
Maura didn't hear the second part of her mother's reply. Her brain had frozen after the first part and the revelation in disguise. Unless she had misunderstood it. Had she? With frenzy, her brain took her back to her childhood but not a single memory hinted such possibility.
And yet...
"You... You had hormonal injections?"
Constance looked aside – pursed her lips – and nodded. "You were eight years old by then. We didn't tell you. It didn't work out. Four times, we tried four times. Then we simply..."
She didn't finish her sentence. Her voice broke, taking Maura completely aback and making her feel disarmed. The scientist frowned, lost as she was.
"But... Why wanting a second child seeing how happy you were to see me leave the house for boarding school a year later?"
Constance bit her lower lip, shook her head. "Because it was your choice. A choice that broke my heart but you seemed so happy to leave that I... That it made me happy for you. I was too clumsy as a mother anyway... It took me a long time to accept it but sending you to boarding school was the best that could happen to you considering my incapacity to be the mother you deserved to have. I haven't done much good to you. It hurts to say it but it is the truth."
