All characters in this story belong to Stephenie Meyer, I simply mold them to fit my story.
Felix POV:
Walking back through the doors of the castle, I silently made my way to my chambers. Thankfully the halls were clear of people. The last thing I wanted to do was see or talk to anyone. Running a hand over my face, I felt marginally better after my hunt along the way.
Pushing open the doors to my chambers, I pulled off my shirt and threw it in the corner. Heading for the bathroom, I turned on the hot water before turning and undoing the button on my pants. Unzipping them and pushing them down along with my boxers I stepped into the shower.
Leaning up against the wall slowly sliding down into a sitting position. Letting the hot water ease the tension in my body, I sat with my face in my hands. Caius was slowly destroying every part of me and the sick fact was I was letting him. He had so much power over me, power that I had given him. I was slowly losing my grip on myself. I had no idea of what it was I was turning into.
How had I let myself become a play toy for someone else's amusement. It was sickening. I barely recognised myself any more. Leaning my head back against the wall, I hated myself for pushing everyone away to simply please Caius. I hated at this very moment all I wanted to do was go to Corin just to be close to someone, to feel someone's arms around me in comfort. As much as I wanted it though, I would not allow myself to move from this shower.
If Caius found out I had gone to her, it could only mean more trouble for me unless the sick twisted bastard went for her. I could not allow any harm to come to her at the hands of me. I cared too much to see anything happen to her. She didn't deserve it. I knew I would have to see her and tell her we were through but the coward in me that gave into Caius' every demand was not ready to face her. Every time I thought of Caius, I became more and more angry. Angry with him but more angry with myself for allowing him to have such control over me.
Feeling my hands balling into fists, I swung my closed fist at the wall letting out a growl of frustration. I needed to get myself out of this mess but didn't know where to begin. Could I deny Caius? Could I go against him and refuse his every demand? No, I couldn't. I was too much of a coward to do so and I hated that about myself.
Closing my eyes as I lent my head back against the wall, I raised my hand to my head as I ran my hand over my head, the thought of running crossed my mind again. For the first time in centuries, I hated my existence and what I had let it become.
Reaching up and turning off the shower, I pulled myself up off of the floor. Reaching out for a towel that hung on the rack, I wrapped it around my waist and headed into the bedroom. Falling down face first on the bed, I let out a groan. Fuck I was pathetic.
