It's understandable that the prisoners we caught would be somewhat put out about being captured by a few inexperienced Genin. However, it was hardly necessary for them to carry on a relentless stream of taunts and insults the entire trip back.

"Shut-up!" the bulky ninja roars in Ino's voice. Great. It's not as if what these guys are saying is throwing me off enough. Now I have to deal with Ino too. I feel a drop of sweat run down my temple and the low ache in my arms intensifies slightly as I redouble my efforts to hold my captor.

"They're trying to…" I wince, "distract us, Ino. Just calm down and don't respond."

"His girlfriend!" she continues in hearty annoyance, "Of all the ridiculous…grr!"

"Uh-oh," the ninja I'm controlling chuckles darkly, "I think I made your little girlfriend mad. But she doesn't seem to like you too much, does she?"

"Shut up!" the three of us yell together.

It's difficult enough just to maneuver our prisoners through the woods. We're using chakra at such a rate that we'll be completely wiped out by the time we get back to the village. It's enough to make me want to just knock these guys out and be done with it.

"Almost there," Chouji tells us placidly. I look over my shoulder to see him lagging behind with his two captives. He's been awfully quiet all this way. He barely even reacted when one of the men he was holding called him 'porky,' although he did tighten his grasp on him to the point where speech was impossible. Since then, the remaining guy has been focusing on me, the skinny weakling.

"Come on, kid," my prisoner says snidely. He's walking ahead of me so I can't see his expression, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to. "Don't tell me you never thought about…oof!" With one jerk of my head, his own slams into a nearby tree.

"Sorry about that," I tell him in a fake-polite tone. "Were you saying something?"

"Nice one, Shikamaru," Chouji laughs from behind me.

"Geez!" the man rages, "You got something against blondes or what?"

Since he doesn't even have the luxury of being able to shake is own head to clear it, I decide to ignore him. We're about five minutes away from the village when someone else comes running out of the woods to our right. If it hadn't been so clumsy, I would have thought it was an attempt at an ambush by some previously unseen enemy. But it's not a good for nothing thug stampeding toward us...well, not in so many words.

"Where have you been?" Naruto asks, eying our bizarre traveling party, "I was…"

"Not you again!" the Ino-prisoner shrieks, turning on him. As she does so, her own body flops weirdly and her head lolls to the side. Naruto stares at the pair for a second and then grins and shakes his head.

"Hey Shikamaru," Naruto says, falling into step next to me instead, "Is it just me or does Ino look particularly nice today?"

"That's it!"

Naruto, Chouji, the three remaining captives watch as Ino storms off ahead. So she finally reached her limit, huh? Now if only Naruto weren't here, things would go a lot more smoothly.

"You won't be getting any tonight, kid!" my prisoner jeers unpleasantly.

One blow to the head. One blow to the head should do it.

"Won't be getting any what tonight?" Naruto asks conversationally, his eyes on the man's back. The only answer is a torrent of nasty laughter. "Hey! Don't laugh at me!"

"Naruto just ignore him," I hiss the same admonition I've been using on Ino for the past half hour. For a minute, I think he's going to actually listen to me and back off, but I guess it's just not in him to let something like that go.

"I asked you a question!" Naruto insists, going to walk next to my prisoner.

"I said," the man pauses, probably wondering whether it's in his best interest to answer some crazy kid's question, "I said your friend here isn't going to be getting any tonight."

My face starts to heat up as Chouji laughs again and Naruto continues to stare at the loudmouth. We walk in silence and I'm watching Naruto the whole time – every time he takes a step, every time he licks his lips and looks over at the other man like he's going to say something, before looking forward again and moving on.

"Hey kid," my captive breaks the silence after a few minutes, "Would you mind keeping your eyes up front? You're giving my neck one hell of a bad time."

It takes what feels like a century, but what may have actually only been ten minutes, to reach to Hokage's office. It takes even longer to explain why we've shown up late with one more prisoner than expected, but she tells us she'll look into the guy's background and that we're free to go.

As the prisoners are escorted out of Lady Tsunade's office, Naruto pops up once again. To everyone's surprise, he runs directly up to the loudmouth ninja and sticks his finger in his face.

"The only thing you're getting tonight is arrested!"

Ino and I share an incredulous look as Chouji bursts out giggling once again. Well that about figures; he's always had a bordering-on-vulgar sense of humor. Luckily, a few Chunin lead the prisoner away before he can rise to Naruto's belated comeback, leaving the four of us in the hallway.

When they're gone, Ino turns to me with her arms crossed. This can't be good.

"That mission couldn't have gone any worse," Ino whines, "At this rate I'm never going to get a chance to prove myself."

"We got them didn't we?" Chouji comes to my defense as Naruto looks back and forth between us. "In my book, that's a successful mission. Now how about we grab a bite? You know, to celebrate. Naruto you can come too, if you aren't doing anything else tonight."

But, instead of going out to eat, we go our separate ways. Ino grumbles something about not being in the mood to celebrate and heads home. Chouji tries to convince us to join him for a victory meal, but I remind him that his mom will be mad if he keeps spending so much money eating out, so he decides to call it a night too.

And then there were two.

"So..." Naruto asks me once we're finally alone again, "What was that all about?"

I shrug, "I don't know. I think Ino's just been down lately because we always end up making idiots out of ourselves on… what?"

"No, not that," Naruto says, grinning at our little miscommunication, "I meant with that guy."

"Oh," I'm careful not to say too much, just enough to answer him so we can move on without any more questions, "He was saying something about Ino being my girlfriend."

"Ha!" Naruto barks out one loud laugh, "So where are we going anyway?"

"I don't care," I admit, rolling my shoulders to ease the tension and soreness.

"Then we'll go somewhere…secret," he says, winking at me conspiratorially, "When do you have to be home?"

"Dinner, but what…?"

"You'll see," he says with an air of finality.

I follow Naruto, like I always do; like a meek little puppy begging for scraps of food and attention. It's almost enough to make me feel sorry for myself, but then he's there, walking in front of me and providing the incentive I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. We walk like this, out and away from town, toward the north.

Somewhere secret. Well, that's for sure. I don't even know where he's going; that's how much of a secret this place is. Then again, he's probably just looking for somewhere secluded where we won't be spotted by anyone. I feel the heat in my face return as I watch his shoulders move up and down with each step he takes.

Naruto turns to me and smiles, like he can feel my eyes on his back. Beautiful.

"We're here," he says softly. I peer beyond the rocks which surround a small clearing. In one corner someone, presumably Naruto, has lain out a thick, comfortable looking blanket. I feel my mouth go as numb as it did when I was in the grip of the paralysis jutsu.

He goes to sit, like a child, on the blanket and I follow him even though my legs no longer seem to want to respond to my brain's wishes.

"Are you serious, kid?" I ask him, reverting back to my old name for him, "You put this here?"

"I know," he scratches the back of head self-consciously, "Well how about it?"

We crawl slowly toward each other and meet in the middle of the blanket. I stare at him. His head is bowed, shoulders peeking upward as his arms support his upper body; his eyes are dark and lusty. Then, something comes over me and I grab the back of his head, pulling him in for a deep kiss.

This time, I lean over him and it's a position I'm not used to – one of dominance and aggression. Still, it's exciting. Our lips meet again and again and I'm surprised as ever by the suppleness of his mouth. For a little knuckleheaded kid, he sure can kiss.

"Shikamaru," he breathes, before pushing me onto my back and resuming his usual stance. "I want to give you something."

I try to silence him, but he holds me down so my lips can't reach his.

"Give me something?" I repeat slowly. He's got a smug little grin on his face that worries me. "What is it?"

"You'll see," he says, grabbing both of my hands. Oh man. Is that his new catchphrase or something?

As I try to staunch the flow of questions in my mind, Naruto puts both of my arms above my head and lays them on the blanket. He puts his face next to my ear and whispers, "You might want to hang on."

I don't have a clue what he's talking about, but I don't move my arms when he releases them. I just stare at him in pure wonder as he puts one leg on either side of my body. He's light enough that the sensation of him on top of me isn't uncomfortable, nor is it unpleasant. But what does he want to give me?

He lowers his mouth to my neck and starts to kiss along my throat. I squirm beneath him, instantly forgetting whatever he was just talking about. I start to raise my arms so that I can pull him closer, but he stops instantly. Grinning impishly, he forces them back to the ground.

"Don't. Move."

I shudder all over as he whispers in my ear. Don't move? Don't move. Don't move.

Without warning, he rolls his hips against me once.

"Naruto!" I cry out in shock as I feel something stir. "What?"

His face is inches away from my own and he's staring at me intently, waiting for a reaction.

"Do you want me to do it again?"

"No...yes," I throw my head back as another wave of pleasure courses through my entire body, "N-Naruto. What are you doing to me?"

"Come on," he says huskily, "Don't tell me a… smart guy like you can't… figure it out."

His words are punctuated as he rolls his hips again and again.

"What is this feeling?" I ask reverently as my hands clasp and unclasp the blanket beneath me.

"Don't tell me…" he pauses to look at me in confusion, "That you've never done this."

I shake my head weakly, concentrating on the weight of him, wondering if he'll move again.

"Not even by yourself?" he asks, looking even more confused than ever. When I shake my head again, wondering what the hell he's talking about, his face clears and he looks down at me with a smile worthy of a demon.

"Are you in for it," he says lowly. I can't respond as he moves against me again. There's too much pressure and I feel swallowed up by it. Pressure from Naruto, lying on top of me. Pressure moving lower, moving through my body.

As his movements become quicker and more sporadic, his hands reach up to cover mine and push them deeper into the blanket. He returns his attention to my neck, this time sucking on the skin hungrily. My limbs seem to seize up at random as all faculty of thought drains out of me. I only know that this is Naruto, causing me this unbearable pleasure and all I want is more.

So I demand more, meeting him thrust for thrust and kiss for kiss, as the sensations coursing through my body become even stronger.

If I'd known, if I'd only known about this, I would have told you so much sooner, Naruto.

"Shikamaru," he breathes. "Let go."