Dear Diary
I hate my life.
I hate Hannah, I hate the Triplets, I hate Claude, I hate Ciel, And I especially hate Tanaka.
I don't care that I was proclaiming my love for him just yesterday, I completely and utterly hate him.
. . .
I'm serious.
Earlier today was supposed to be our surprise date, I had Claude set everything up – I would go to the Phantomhive manor when I knew Tanaka would be the only one there and then set up a romantic picnic. I was all set for an afternoon of wrinkle-licking!
But what do I find when I get there? Tanaka and some creep being kinky on the floor!
I swear I could feel my heart breaking into pieces.
"What the hell are you doing Tanaka! How could you do this to me!" I screamed after seeing the sight. Just who the hell did this guy think he was?
"Oh- Um... Alois! What are you doing here?"
"I was going to surprise you with a date – but I can see you're already busy."
"It's . . . not what it looks like...?" The compananian had offered weakly as he adjusted his glasses.
"And who are you?" I asked the wrinkle-stealer.
"William T. Spears. Who are you?"
"Well, Mr Spears, I was Tanaka's lover – and future husband. But it appears that he is just a shameless harlot."
"Alois. . . wait! I can explain!"
So I suppose that Tanaka and I are officially over. Perhaps it was all for the best – I don't know. All I know is that I have a new name to add to my 'To Die' list. William T. Spears – You will pay for what you did.
Claude wasn't exactly . . . supportive, about the whole thing either.
He didn't even offer any sympathy! All I got was a blank stare and something along the lines of 'You deserved it."
I even tried saying how completely and utterly wrong I was to ever consider leaving his side, and that my love for him still burned as bright as ever.
I even told him that he was pretty!
But he kind of glared at me for that. . .
Pft.
But back to my tragic-ness.
I simply cannot believe that Tanaka would cheat on me! I'm Alois Trancy! I'm way hotter than that William guy! And I was going to take our relationship to the next level today! Licking his flappy wrinkles above his belly button! And now I'll never have the chance to do such things! My life is ruined!
I can still lick Claudes belly button, but he has no wrinkles! And it has some hair in it! (I told you he was a deep sleeper. Seeing as how he hasn't caught me yet.)
It's bizarre actually, his belly button has more hair in it than his nostrils.
. . .
Um.
. . .
Don't judge me!
. . .
-The incredibly fabulous Alois Trancy.
AN: TANAKA YOU SHAMELESS HARLOT.
Out of curiousity would anyone hate me if I started another crack series about Tanaka and his slut-ness? :3 It would be updated less frequently then this one and stuff though, Because this is like my baby :D.
