A/N: So this time around, I will begin this chapter with a rant about German –shot-
I have to apologize on one account when it comes to the German words. I read a few days ago that German is like Spanish (my second language), in which there are female and male nouns to most everything. Later in this chapter comes a bird named "Miss Blume" or "Miss Flower". I tried looking to see if this was a female or male noun, but came up empty. She only appears a few times, but nevertheless, I'd like to apologize if there's anything wrong. I'm planning to take a German class here in my university (not just for this story, but because I sincerely adore the language), so I'll become educated soon! –meek face of determination-
For sweetsweetsorrow43 on Youtube. This chapter is "Ivory Tower (A Prison)".
XI: Elfenbeinturm (ein Gefängnis)
"Why?" Fai muttered to himself, curling at the foot of a thin wooden door. He was in a small, circular room – at the very top of the tallest tower in the castle. There was but one window, and one door – which always remained locked. Always. Fai had tried for years to pick at it, only to find out it had a spell on it. No matter how creative he got with his own magick casting though, he never even got the handle to jiggle. Nope, nothing but frustration and accidentally setting his bed to stick to the ceiling.
He bet Yuui never had to put up with any of this. Fai sighed, crossing his arms and thinking.
Yuui. That boy that looked like him. Or did Fai look like him? He wasn't entirely sure, but he knew Tsubasa had informed him once that Yuui was in fact his twin brother. The relation almost made Fai want to cry.
"If we're brothers, why does Yuui get to be outside and not me too?" he asked in a childish tone, even though deep inside him he could feel sharp tendrils of envy pierce his heart. It wasn't fair. No one but Tsubasa and sometimes Ashura would venture up the tower to visit him. For the better part of his fourteen years, Fai had never known other people to exist, never properly felt sunshine, never touched his feet into the snow that always fell pleasantly from the sky.
But Yuui does, thought Fai. If it were possible, he might've felt himself sink into the stone floor. He began to idly pick at the smooth rock, looking distantly at his room. It was well-furnished enough, he supposed, not that he knew what did and didn't constitute as such – a large bookshelf full of tomes that never helped with his yearning of the outside world, a bed, a dresser full of more-or-less the same clothes (for when would he need to look presentable?), and a black cage holding a small little songbird native only to Seresu. Yuui had been the one to give it to him, and Fai decided to give her the name Miss Blume, for the flowers he had never seen before.
"He probably thought this would make up for having no one," muttered Fai in slight contempt. When Miss Blume chirped, he quickly amended, "Not that you're not a good friend. You've taught me a lot yourself. Without you, I never would've realized I can cast spells with sound." Fai smiled a little, whistling a little tune he came up with himself. A small flurry of snow from outside twirled into the room from the gated window, waltzing through the air as surely as if it had a body.
The sharp knock from the other side of the door broke Fai's concentration, and also the spell, the snowflakes already beginning to melt on the stone floor. Without even looking, Fai exclaimed, "Yuui!"
A small voice, slightly higher than his, piped, "How did you figure that out, Fai?"
Fai scrambled up, looking through the barred window of the door, where he saw Yuui smiling on the other side. "I just sense you." With a glance he could see his brother was alone. "Tsubasa isn't with you?" he asked, trying not to sound too disappointed. Only Tsubasa and Ashura knew the counter-spell to open the door.
Yuui looked guilty. "No, I'm sorry. She's busy, and you know Father always is…but I really wanted to see you. It must be lonely up here for you."
Like you have any idea, being able to go out and be free whenever you want like the little prince you are, came the sharp, biting thought inside Fai's head. He should've felt immediately guilty about it, but he couldn't conjure up any remorse right now.
Not able to fight back his jealous stare for too long, Fai quickly plopped himself to the floor, sitting against it. "Um, tell me about your day," he said quickly. Anything to keep Yuui busy while Fai tried not to dwell on the aching chasm in his chest.
For a few seconds, Yuui remained silent, but then Fai heard his brother settle himself down on the other side of the door. Fai could swear he felt Yuui's warmth through the wood and he listened with a jealous ear as his twin recounted the events of the day. Very soon Fai began to tune him out completely, staring down at the stone floor again.
It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Yuui's company – truly Fai did treasure the time spent with his brother, but the slap in the face from the realization of what he could never experience would always come too soon. He asked Ashura and Tsubasa before – when could he go out too? When could he finally leave this tower? There would only be sad, uncertain smiles in an answer.
Why do I have to live here, separate from you? Why couldn't I have been the one to be able to live out there? Fai hugged his knees and slowly got back into Yuui's tale. He laughed and asked questions on cue. It was still winter but Yuui talked about the sun shining through the heavy grey clouds already. A spell the blond had tried went smoothly and he had tried again to try to bake something in the kitchen unsupervised. Fai had to chuckle at that – his twin had something of a knack of wanting to experiment with foods, and had even brought a few creations up to Fai with Tsubasa.
Fai was slightly ashamed. He knew Yuui did these things to make him feel better. There were no other teenagers in the castle, save maybe Tsubasa who was a few years older. They kept each other company. It could very well be that Yuui was just as lonely as him.
So now I'm rationalizing it, he thought bitterly. Denial that I have a right to be out there, too.
"Yuui?" he whispered when his brother was done.
"Yes, Fai?"
"…I want to come out."
Instantly Yuui's voice was quieter. "Fai…"
"I want to do what you do. I want to go out. I want to meet people, I want to see everything," Fai went on, turning to the door, pressing his cheek and palms against it, almost pushing. "Yuui, I want to come out."
"We talked about it with Father before, you know that," Yuui reminded him half-heartedly. "If I knew the spell, I'd let you out in a heartbeat."
Fai knew of those brief conversations with Ashura, of both twins pleading for Fai to be able to leave the tower. They tried to make endless negotiations: that they'd keep it secret, that Fai would only stay within the castle walls, that he'd have a curfew. But no amount of bargaining helped and finally one day Fai had gotten sick of it. Begging for freedom? Was he really such a prisoner?
He hated this. Was he really so unnecessary? Was the outside world so dangerous? That was Ashura's usual excuse, pleading with Fai with gentle eyes. The world was dangerous, and so staying inside the tower was safe. But why just me? Am I too weak to care for myself? It wouldn't be a surprise – Yuui was a lot better at magick than Fai was. Sometimes the blond wondered if it was because his brother was also a lot happier than him.
Fai bit his lip, looking down. Slowly, he began to smile, nodding. Why he wasn't sure, since Yuui couldn't see him. But it was the only way. If he could smile, pretend he was happy, then maybe one day…maybe one day he would be…
"Yeah, I know. Just teasing!" Fai said with a laugh, breaking away from the door. "Making sure Yuui still loves me~!"
Yuui might have believed his façade, and maybe he didn't. In the end, a small, deep breath escaped from the other side of the door. "It's been a few days since we talked, but today there's a big meeting Father is having with the ruler of Infinity, and I only just now escaped my keepers to see you…"
Fai already knew the direction this was heading. "Aah, you better start running again before they find you!" he exclaimed. Because the only ones that even know about me are you, Tsubasa, and…Father. Even though his brother couldn't see the smile he had, Fai did his best to keep it up – if anything, maybe to fool himself.
"I'm sorry, Fai!"
Fai's false smile might've cracked a bit at that, and maybe, just for a second, he might've sobbed. But quickly Fai grinned again, laughing. "Don't beee~ Yuui came to see me today, so I'm very happy! I'm glad to have such a caring brother, really." Every word was a stab to Fai's chest, but the last part was not a lie. That much he knew was true.
I can resent the position Yuui gets to be in, but…I will not allow myself to resent the person themselves.
"Tomorrow we both have magick lessons with Tsubasa though, so we'll be able to see each then," pointed out Yuui. There was a shuffle of clothes – Yuui's attire was by far more formal than Fai's – as the blond got up. "Until then, Fai."
Fai didn't budge from his spot. He really didn't want Yuui to leave, didn't want to be left in the silence, feeling like at any moment the tall tower he lived in would crumble below him. Being around anyone was like this though – torn between shoving them away and screaming for them not to go. Casting aside those scary thoughts, he chirped, "I will wait patiently!"
"…You sure you'll be okay?" asked Yuui after a small beat of silence.
"Oh, Yuui, you say it like I've got a choice. Really, I'm fine!" insisted Fai. Please go, please go right now, before I want any more, before I begin to truly crave everything you have… "I can't wait to see you and Tsubasa tomorrow. I'll practice now, so I can catch up to your level! Aha, but because Yuui is so smart, I might not stand a chance…"
"Fai is smart, too," said Yuui. "Fai is smart, and talented. He can dance very well, too. I wish I could move like you do."
A more genuine laugh did leave Fai this time. "What? Do you want to attract a lady, perhaps? You could do it with how you sing. Sweep her off her feet with a song~ As for myself, I cannot carry a tune to save my life. Can't even whistle, you know~"
Yuui tapped the door. "I'll see you tomorrow. Wait for me until then, okay? We'll have a lot of fun together."
"I'm not a kiiiid!" whined Fai, throwing himself onto the floor dramatically, kicking his legs up in the air. "Go ooon, go on then before they catch you. It'd look bad for the prince to be disobedient, wouldn't it? Huhuhu~"
A small laugh left Yuui. "You're silly. Okay then, I'm off!" There was a tap of shoes hitting the stone stairs, becoming fainter and fainter until the quiet came again. And slowly, the smile Fai had forced onto his face fell until he was frowning deeply at the floor.
Miss Blume was fluttering in her cage and she tweeted at him to catch his attention. Fai managed a small, sad smile.
"I'm sorry. But if I let you go too, then I'll be the only one who can't see the world."
Deep within the chambers of the palace of Chudoku, a slender, dark-haired woman lifted her head up to the heavens outside her window. Night had fallen, and the moon was brightly illuminated, whispering to her all the unheard secrets of the world. She closed her eyes then, almost seeming to nod in understanding to a statement that hadn't been humanly spoken.
"So it's finally begun then. It was as the stars foretold for years now," she murmured in her naturally sultry voice. Reopening her eyes, she asked softly, "But what happens from here on out can only be determined by the choices of that man. Whether or not he chooses to remember, and to fight."
She glanced ahead into the distance, off past the river and beyond the borders of her kingdom. Far, far away from her position, her eyes could see a snowy country, miserable people, and a decrepit castle pulsing with magick.
"The meeting is approaching."
Parting his dry lips, Kurogane gasped, his eyes flying open. For half a second he was disoriented, feeling slightly dizzy when he realized he was staring up at the ceiling and that Syaoran was leaning over him with a concerned face. Syaoran set a firm hand on Kurogane's shoulder when the ninja attempted to rise up.
"No, lay back until you get your bearings back," he advised gently. "You collapsed out of nowhere. Are you alright?"
"Fine, I'm fine," Kurogane said lowly, not even having the energy to shrug the brunet's hand away. He frowned – the world still felt like it was tilting, like he was in a high place.
Like he was still in a tower.
Kurogane inhaled slowly, coming to grips with the vision he just had. He reached up, gripping Syaoran's arm. "I saw something again. Something about the fake prince."
Syaoran blinked, coming closer to the ninja. "Tell me. What did you see in the dream?"
At that, Kurogane shook his head. "It wasn't a dream this time. At least…I'm certain it wasn't. He was younger, and in the tower with this bird…" He dug further into the memory of his vision, which was easier than he though, as if it were his own far-off memory he were recalling. "The real prince was there, visiting him. They talked about normal things, but that guy Fai was…" He struggled to think up the correct word; it wasn't something he had felt in particular before…
"Why can't I be you? Why can't I…have what you had?"
"…Jealous. He was jealous to Yuui, because he got to be outside, and be free. That guy wanted that, but he was always there in the tower…" Kurogane frowned, thinking of the envy that had stung deeply inside Fai's heart, and right now it ached in Kurogane's chest as surely as if it has been his own. For a split second, he even sympathized with the fake prince…
He shouldn't, though. It was that envy that drove Fai to kill Yuui. Was it not?
No, no, I loved Yuui, I loved him so much, I didn't want to hate him ever! It was getting hard to tangle out which thoughts were Kurogane's or Fai's. Of course he knew they were the blond's, and yet at the same time that emotion was calling out in his own heart.
"It was most surely a memory then," Syaoran said thoughtfully, frowning. "And from the sound of it, would you venture to guess that the strongest emotion experienced in that memory was jealousy?"
It still hurt Kurogane's chest even now. "Yes." He blinked in realization snapping his head up to stare at Syaoran. "Wait, do you think then that that vampire kid…?"
"I want to say so, yes," Syaoran admitted with a nod. "If this vision of Fai's you received is true, then we can probably say that Envy has been reunited with Fai. That would be one soul fragment down."
Kurogane made a sound between a scoff and a hiss, getting up now that he felt more himself again. "This thing that just happened, with what I saw," he looked down at the brunet, "is it going to happen every time a soul fragment returns to that prince?"
"I would imagine so."
Kurogane tsked, looking away. "And it's because I've got some connection with him, right? That's what it is?"
Syaoran nodded again, more slowly. "Yes, that's right. You're important to this mission, Kurogane. The other soul fragments will probably try to seek you out and try to kill you. Still, you came willingly here, so…"
"I'm not here for whatever reasons you want me to be," reminded Kurogane, walking forward with a renewed sense of determination. "Whatever this making the fake prince's soul whole again deal is, it's only a side mission. Right now, we still got to look for that mirror. If I find it before all the soul fragments are gone, that's too bad, because my real job will be done."
He knew what he said had bothered Syaoran. He kept walking though, waiting for an argument to come, but instead there was a soft voice asking, "I would like to know why this girl you're trying to bring back is so important to you. Is she per chance…the one you loved?"
"Hardly. She was like a sister," replied the vampire with a small huff. "She was the only princess of one of the most ancient lines of vampires."
Shock tangibly paralyzed the air behind Kurogane. "She was…a vampire?"
"As pure as they come," agreed the ninja easily. "She was also a dreamseer, a power that the vampires revered as a true blessing from the moon. It's a rare gift, vampire or not. Her family was tied closely with mine, although it was an underground bond, and I never saw her until I was older. By that time, her family had agreed to make me her protector – it's unheard of really, to have a human shelter a pureblood vampire. But Tsukuyomi wasn't a fighter, and she wanted me to do it. There were few who would openly oppose her. So for a long time, that's what I did. I proved time and again I was worthy of protecting her, to a point in which even her kind…the vampires, stopped doubting me."
He felt over the scaly hilt of Ginryuu, finding comfort in the weight of his sword at his hip. The last time he truly used it… "But I lost their faith the day she died…"
"Kuro-?"
"Tsukuyomi was a kind person, alright?" the ninja said quietly. "She was patient. Sometimes she was really annoying with how much she liked to tease people, despite being a powerful princess of a proud race. She didn't put up airs. She was kind, alright? Little brats like her…shouldn't have to die. And that's why I'm getting that mirror to make this mistake right. That's what my goal is now."
"…Was she…the one to turn you?" asked Syaoran tentatively, gauging Kurogane's reactions.
Blood. Blood on his hands. Blood splattered everywhere, and a man chuckling darkly in the shadows. Kurogane shaking, shaking as Tomoyo was dying in his arms, gazing up at him with dimming eyes… He opened his lips as blood began to pour inside him…
"No," he finally replied. "I didn't want her to die. I wanted her to live somehow.
"I turned myself."
Wrath was stepping down the dusty stones of the spiraling stairwell to the tallest tower. Fai's tower. Wrath had seldom gone up there, but after becoming aware of Memory's goal, he ignored all previous resolutions he had in avoiding the place. Brother or not, Memory had to be stopped. This curse couldn't end. Small embers of flame were still dancing around him, but they slowly faded with each step even as the scent of ash and burnt flesh stayed on him.
Goodbye, Memory.
When he was at the bottom of the stairs, he stopped, turning to look back up. He touched the stones of the wall tenderly, smiling softly. "Don't worry. No one will hurt you anymore. You can stay there and sleep. Sleep and dream of what you always wanted, and I will always be here for you. Even when you bring torment to others, it is because they deserve it." He leaned onto the wall, smiling in rapture.
"No one understands you like I do. They can't.
"I love you."
Ending A/N: Aha, I'm sorry if this is too short for you. This wasn't really filler, but it sort of was too. Getting some details and updates on certain people out of the way before we launch back into the fighting scenes, which will resume next chapter I can assure you~
Review perhaps? Sorry I didn't reply to anyone who reviewed last chapter; I've been on another email account for my university spam attack to go to so I've been on that mostly. This time I will most definitely answer you this time! -flails in apology-
