A/N: Okay guys, this one is serious. Major warnings for homophobic language AND physical abuse. If you are triggered easily, I suggest taking caution whilst reading. We don't own Glee or the guys - Chelsinator
(***************)
Jeff sat slumped against the wall in his bedroom, he tried to call Nick but he couldn't find the energy instead he just sent him a hurried text. If he closed his eyes all he could see were the kicks and blows and all hear could here were the vile names he was being called.
It hadn't been so bad until they'd started insulting Nick, and then he'd blown. Quiet mild mannered Jeff had burst, yelling at them, venting all of the anger that he'd held in for so many years - and he'd paid for it.
One of his eyes was so swollen he could barely see out of it, his lip was re-split and blood poured from him nose, he had one arm cradled protectively towards his chest, obviously broken. He suspected a couple of his ribs were cracked, they were certainly bruised, and his groin hurt from the repeated kicks his brother had sent home there,
"Let's see you shove this up your boyfriends ass when I'm done with it!"
His father had stood back and watched for the most part, making cutting comments, but the few hits he had got him had done considerable damage.
Miserably Jeff looked around his room, at the vile words daubed on his wall in red paint, The glass and shredded clothing all over the floor. His dad had left shortly after, telling him that until he came to his senses he wasn't his son any more. Devon had never come home and Jeff suspected he'd been sent to a friends house. Jake was still somewhere in the house and that terrified Jeff - he should never have asked Nick to come when he could still be in danger, but he needed him so much right now.
(****************)
Nick hurried into his car on receiving the text, David understood. He was one of the most supportive people of their relationship. Sebastian was in the room when Nick explained Jeff was hurt. All he said was he tripped and hurt himself, he just needs a hand. He didn't go in depth but Sebastian just laughed. He drove faster than really necessary, surprised he didn't get pulled over. He stopped at Jeff's house. He breathed in. He saw movement in the house but it was too short to be Jeff.
"Jake…" he whispered.
Nick ran to the door, not bothering to knock.
"What is your problem!" he shouted at Jake, who was luckily in the same room.
"Aww, Did Jeff need a fwend? Fucking pussy!" Jake shouted in return.
Nick ran up to Jake and pulled him by his shirt, his fist ready to make contact.
"He's not worth it you know…" Jake trailed on.
"Shut up!" Nick shouted.
"Heh, he's pathetic, spineless and worthless. Not even worth his fathers love" Jake snickered.
"Shut the fuck up!" Nick shouted, finally punching Jake fair in the face.
"Well…. You're quite tough for a fag!" Jake replied to the punch, wiping blood from his lip.
(*****************)
Jeff heard the front door slam again and groaned, then he heard yelling and hurt as he was a shock of panic went through him, he tried to get up, but he couldn't even start too, only having one hand to balance on and his ribs and groin screaming in protest. So he tried to cry out, but that hurt too much too, finally he grabbed his phone and sent out a quick text, hoping that Nicky still had his on him.
To Nicky: Careful. I'm in my room when you can get here.
Jake advanced on Nick. He punched the younger boy in the gut and threw him against the wall. Nick gasped for air. This was no time to stop, throwing another punch Nick stuck Jake in the stomach. He slid down the wall and coughed.
"This stupid world should be free of gays. It's not natural, you are a freak," Jake whispered into Nick's ear. Nick took this as an advantage and punched Jake in the face again.
"You should hear my catch phrase" Nick laughed kicking Jake. As he ran up to Jeff's room he screamed, "Suck my dick!"
It didn't take him long to reach Jeff but when he did, he was shocked. Tears started falling freely and his unsteady breathing made him hiccup.
Jeff looked up to see his boyfriend standing in the doorway, knuckles bleeding. Crying. He tried to push himself up again but instead curled in on himself letting out a sharp cry of pain,
"Nicky." He whimpered, softly, brokenly.
Nick didn't hesitate. "This is going to hurt Jeffie, but I have to do it." He whispered gently. He put one arm under Jeff's legs and the other under his arm. Jeff needed to get out of here. He cursed himself when Jeff cried in pain. He lifted the taller boy up off the floor and whispered, "Come on.".
It would only be a matter of time until Jake got up so they had to leave quickly. Nick struggled a little, carrying Jeff, but he had to do it. He slowly made his way to his car, Jeff still in hand.
Jeff whimpered as pain shot through him, it was everywhere. He buried his head in Nick's shoulder, crying louder as they passed Jake,
"Running away fag? Remember what dad said!"
Painful sobs racked his broken body as he cried solidly on his boyfriend, soaking the shoulder of his shirt quickly.
Nick sat Jeff in the car, apologizing when Jeff winced. He hopped in the other side and helped Jeff with his seat belt. He sat down for a while before driving off.
"Sorry…" he whispered. He started the car and realised, Jeff's necklace and his ring were gone. He breathed in harshly, pain in his stomach. It was surely to leave a mark tomorrow. He looked at Jeff, he was barely conscious. Nick started driving off slowly, making his way to his own house.
"Sorry… I'm so sorry Nicky." Jeff felt himself slipping out consciousness, the only thing on his mind was apologising. He felt like such a failure, such a burden. "Please don't hate me," He mumbled feverishly, "I love you so much."
Nick couldn't help but cry at that, "Just rest Jeff, I love you too."
Nick reached his house. Should he take Jeff to the hospital? Would he appreciate it or hate it? He would hate himself either way. He stayed in the car in his driveway with Jeff. He was hitting his leg hard, and feel asleep in the car with Jeff.
Jeff fell into a feverish sleep. When he woke up again, Nick was fast asleep next to him, his hand grasped in Jeff's good one. A surge of pain went through Jeff and he gritted his teeth to keep from crying out. His head felt a little less fuzzy now but he was seriously hurt. At least his arm and … he blushed just thinking about it, his groin,needed attention. Probably his ribs too… he was reluctant to wake Nick but he couldn't see an option so extracting his hand he raised his arm painfully and shook his boyfriends should gently,
"Nick! Nicky!" He rasped out, as loudly as he could.
Nick awoke slowly, looking up at Jeff.
"Shit! Jeff, the hospital." Nick shouted. He would have taken Jeff if he hadn't been so indecisive. His hands fumbled as he turned the keys in ignition.
Jeff smiled softly, "Thank you, Nicky." He winced at the movement talking was giving his ribs, "Thank you for saving me."
"Thank you for letting me." He whispered. It didn't take long to get to the hospital, Jeff went in straight away, no delays. Nick wasn't allowed in though and it was killing him. He waited in a chair tapping his leg gently with his fist.
Soon enough nurse came out and looked at him gently, "Are you Mr Duval?" Nick nodded jerkily, "Jeff tells me that his family's away. And you are listed as emergency contact on his forms for while he's at school…" She sat down next to him, "Now Jeff tells me he was mugged, is that correct?" She didn't wait for him to respond, "There is heavy bruising on his groin area, consistent with being beaten with a blunt object, Jeff wasn't really in a fit state to tell us anything but in this case we'd presume he was most likely kicked repeatedly," She took a deep breath and carried on, not waiting for a response, "Almost all of Jeff's ribs are bruised and two of them are cracked, we've strapped him up for that. He has a hair line fracture on his left wrist and we've put that in plaster for him. I know the bruising on his face looks bad but it's largely superficial. He's going to need a fair bit of help in these next few days, walking is going to be very painful for him what with the damage to his ribs and groin but he should really be doing it to help strengthen himself. Don't let him do anything too strenuous." She looked at him sternly, "Now. Would you like to see him?"
Nick nodded he was lost for words. He followed her into a room where Jeff was laying on a hospital bed, his eyes were shut and he was presumably sleeping.
"I'll let you wake him up" she said kindly leaving the room.
Nick didn't know what to say, so he sung instead.
"Watch them fall, to their knees. As I lay I think I'm flat lining." He breathed. Tears falling from his eyes," Watch them fall, thick as thieves. As I lay i think I'm flat lining."
Jeff moved slightly, clearly causing pain.
"Sorrow wait until tomorrow, hold me close never go, know that I would die for you. I'm so insane, I still feel the sharp pain running down my spine boy, know that I would die for you"
At the last line Jeff woke up.
The blonde opened one of his dark eyes, staring blurrily at Nick, he was topless with crisp white bandages wrapped all around his torso, his arm was in a bright blue cast which he'd already decided he wanted people to write on in gold. He could only see through one eye the other one was practically swollen shut,
"Hey there. I'm sorry for scaring you…"
Nick looked up happy for Jeff to wake up, but one question clouded his mind.
"He hit you…. there….?" He started to shake.
Jeff looked into Nick's concerned eyes, honestly confused. Where did he mean? Jeff couldn't think of a place he hadn't been hit…
"Where, Nicky?"
Nick swallowed the lump in his throat, embarrassed about saying it. Instead, he moved his hand down to his pants and sort of cupped it.
"….Here…." he said, not making eye contact.
"Oh!" Jeff looked down, ashamed, "Yeah… That was Jake, and he kicked me actually. Something about not being able to," He gulped and worded it more delicately than his brother, "Initiate anal sex, if it didn't work…" His eyes snapped up, "They took my necklace and your ring! I'm so sorry, Nicky. Dad said he didn't want his son wearing faggy jewellery, I think they knew they were from you… but the second they let me out of here, I'll go to the mall and I'll buy you a new ring, I promise. I'm so, so sorry!"
Nick shook his head, "Don't worry." He sat at the end of the bed. "You're allowed to leave, but I don't want you to spend your money on me. You need more clothes" Nick took off his necklace and out it on Jeff. "D-do, you need help up… does it hurt?" He cursed under his breath at the stupid question. Of course it hurt, the few blows he got still hurt.
Jeff shook his head, but then tried to stand and yelped, glancing apologetically at Nick,
"Yeah… but it's nothing, I can't handle. What about you? I heard you fighting with Jake… what did he do to you?"
"Jeff let me help," Nick said putting Jeff's arm over his shoulder.
"He hit me here," Nick said, placing a hand softly on his gut, it hurt. He winced a little but hoped Jeff didn't notice. "And he kicked me and slammed me in the wall. But I am fine" that was a lie. Nick was hurting, not just from the damage Jake caused in him, but the damage Jake caused on Jeff.
Jeff gasped, it was one thing to hurt him, it was completely another to lay a hand on his boyfriend, "Do you need anything? Because I could get that nurse in here…" He closed his eyes, "Jake actually only really did the kicking." He admitted, "It was my dad who rearranged my face and broke my arm…" He stood up, leaning heavily on Nick, his legs shook beneath him but he was able to edge forward slightly, "Nick what am I going to do?" He asked softly, tears pooling, "Most of my clothes were in that room, and I don't think I'm up to buying new ones right now… I just want to go back to Dalton."
Nick nodded, "I'll tell my parents I will be boarding this weekend. Trent is gone so you can stay in my dorm with me, I'll sleep on the floor if I have to," Nick knew Jeff wouldn't like it but he was in no shape to share a bed. "I'll help you shower, I'll lend you some of my baggier clothes and I'l bring you ice for your… w-when you need it."
He helped Jeff walk to the door and sat him down while he went to reception. He used the money his parents gave him to pay for it and helped Jeff up again.
"Let's go." he whispered. "Hospitals creep me out."
"You didn't have to pay for that," Jeff sighed, panting heavily front the effort of just walking to the car, "I could have got it! Nick… I think I'm going to have to start boarding permanently at Dalton, at least until dad calms down and I can try to talk to him." Nick helped him into the car and turned to stare at him incredulously.
"It would be cheaper on you if you stayed at my house…." Nick started. Wait? What did Jeff say? "You aren't seriously thinking of going back?" Nick was dumbfounded. He sighed, "Come one, let's get you back to Dalton so you can have a shower.
Jeff looked down sadly, "He's my dad… and I don't want to burden myself on your family. They have enough troubles at the minute without…" He stopped, eyes wide, "Nick! What the hell are we going to tell the Warblers?"
Nick started driving off. "I-I don't know… what did you tell the nurse?"
Nick was thinking, he honestly couldn't remember. "Also, are you comfortable with me helping you. Like places in the shower?"
Jeff blushed, "That I was mugged… I couldn't tell the truth, but you know what the Warblers are like, they're so overprotective! And I can't lie for the life of me.." He sat for a second thinking about his boyfriends question, "I'm not… I wish that the first time you saw me naked didn't have to be because none of me works. But it can't be helped and I don't think I'd be able to do it myself." Silent tears ran down his face.
"Broken and battered, your still gorgeous to me Jeff," Nick smiled. "I can help you lie to the Warblers and, you need the help. It might be embarrassing but if it helps, the shower in my dorm is huge. I'll have one with you so you aren't alone in there to hurt yourself" Nick frowned a little, but now wasn't the time to feel self conscious.
They pulled into the parking lot of the almost empty school. Nick helped Jeff to his dorm with a bit of trouble. Only because of stairs.
Nick help to lower Jeff gently down on the bed and forced him to lie down, Jeff lay there looking at the ceiling, his chest feeling like it was on fire. He was angry at himself, angry at his brother and his dad, angry at his mom for leaving him there. He coughed, convulsing as his cracked and bruised ribs screamed in protest,
"I'm sorry for getting you dragged into all of this, Nicky." He forced out, "And I'm sorry for letting them hurt me…"
Nick looked about to say something but there were interrupted by a knock on the door. Nick opened the door slightly and David barged in.
"Dude I saw your car, everything oka-" he didn't finish when he saw Jeff, "W-…..W-wha-"
"He was mugged." There, Nick lied as simple as that. He. Was. Mugged.
"Now isn't exactly a good time, perhaps you could come around later, or even call?"
David got the picture and left. Nick looked at Jeff who still had a bit of blood on him.
"Come on, you have to shower eventually" he said, tired in his voice.
Jeff nodded, a couple of tears slipping out, "Everyone's going to know by tonight." He whispered, "I love David, but you know that he can't keep a secret of the life of him."
Nick helped Jeff to the bathroom and both boys simply stood there, looking at each other, neither sure what to do. Jeff sighed slightly and leaned heavily against the wall.
"The doctors said I need to take all my bandages off and then reapply them after showering, you'll need to do that, also I need to tape a plastic bag around my cast or something," He paused, when he spoke his voice was softer, sweeter, "Nicky… I'm not going to lie to you, the bruising is a million times worse than the last time, it's not going to be easy for you to see. Are you sure you can handle it… because I can probably just about manage it on my own?" His shaking legs were betraying his own words.
Nick shook his head. "We're in this together, I see your bruises…. and you see mine…" By the looks of it Jeff didn't understand. Nick walked towards Jeff and slipped his hands under his shirt. Lifting it slowly above Jeff's head he said, "My thighs are usually covered."
Jeff's shirt was completely off and Nick had to look away, biting back tears. He left the room for a short moment and brought some clothes for both of them and a plastic bag.
"Jeff, I want you to put your arms on my shoulders…" Jeff did as he was told while Nick fiddled with his pants. Soon Jeff's pants were pooling at his ankles and he was in nothing but underwear.
"They're next, " He whispered, allowing Jeff to get used to it, Nick took his shirt off too. Hesitating before taking his pants off. Where Jake hit Nick on his stomach was bruised, and the self-harm Nick caused himself was too. "You ready..?"
Jeff couldn't look at Nick's bruises without wanting to kill himself for not stopping it, those his brother had done and those he'd done himself. Nick already looked like he was going to cry or kill someone from just seeing his chest, so Jeff couldn't imagine how he was going to react in a minute, the bruising underneath his boxers was, to put too finer point on it, horrific - it also made peeing extremely painful, he'd narrowly avoided having to have a catheter fitted - He looked away from Nick and nodded his consent, tears flowing freely down his face.
Nick bent down in front of the blonde, preparing for the worst. He slid Jeff's boxers down as slowly and painlessly as possible. It wasn't enough, he felt Jeff tense up. It looked horribly painful, Nick looked away.
"A-and he did it to stop you " He swallowed the lump in his throat ," stop you from having sex with me?"
Nick helped Jeff lift his legs up and out of his pants. Standing up and turning around, he pulled his pants down, ashamed of what Jeff might think of it. He turned back around and took Jeff's arm so he could put the plastic on it. He then moved to the bandages. He sighed.
Jeff kept on crying, so ashamed, "He did it, so that I couldn't have sex with anyone if it wasn't a woman," He sniffed, "Oh Nicky I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you have to see me like this, I'm disgusting… And you," He took a deep breath, but he couldn't stop the tears from falling, "You're so beautiful, I'd understand you know," He saw Nick's confused look and clarified himself, "If you wanted to leave me. I'd understand…"
Nick didn't want to hear this. He pulled Nick in for a soft hug and walked him into the shower. After Nick made certain Jeff was all cleaned up, he helped him get dressed.
"You'll get the bed tonight." he said ,"You know how Trent is with his bed, so I will sleep on the floor." He breathed in and helped Jeff over to his bed.
"Nicky, no!" Jeff tried to protest, "You're hurt too, I can sleep on the floor, it's fine, honestly."
Nick laid Jeff down. "No, you are in no state to share a bed. The floor is fine Jeff, and that's that!" He softened his tone a bit, "Would you like anything to eat or drink?"
Jeff frowned, he hadn't actually eaten or drank anything all day now that he came to think of it, but he really didn't want to. The pain was intense and he couldn't take an of his meds for at least another two hours, he shook his head, "I'm not hungry, thank you." He said in a small voice, hoping Nick wouldn't realise how long it have been since he'd eaten and drank. Nick's phone started ringing, a glance at the screen told them it was David. They should have expected it. Loud mouth he may be, but he was the oldest Warbler now and he saw them all as surrogate little brothers.
Nick didn't want to answer but the look Jeff gave him made him pick up.
"Yea, he-…. He's getting there." Nick said.
A pause.
"I promise I will look after him," His voice was subtle and soft until - "I wasn't intent on doing that to him anyway!" Nick shouted. He was pretty sure Jeff could hear the laughing from the other end of the phone.
Jeff giggled slightly, wincing at the pain, he held out his hand for the phone, turning pleading eyes on his boyfriend gave him a disapproving look, rolling his eyes and pressing a quick kiss to Jeff's forehead, Nick passed him the phone,
"Hi David, it's me."
"Jeff! God mate are you alright? You looked awful! What did they do to you?"
"David calm down, it's really not that bad." Jeff ignored an incredulous snort from next to him, "Cracked and bruised ribs, broken arm, bruising of the face…" He purposely left out the other area, not wanting to have to explain it.
"Shit man… do you know who did it? Cause no one hurts a Warbler, you know that right?"
"I…no, David. It was just some guys, I'm pretty tired… could I maybe-" He trailed off and heard David chuckle softly,
"Yeah of course Jeff, I'll check in on you both tomorrow okay? Get some rest and pass me back to Nick," Jeff did as he was told, and heard the gentle mumble of David talking to Nick, "Thad's going to be pissed off if you two miss more rehearsals man…"
"I-I know, I wont miss any, but Jeff… he… Thad needs to understand that Jeff needs rest. I will try my hardest not to miss any but if Jeff needs me he needs me. If walking out on the Warblers to help a friend could mean losing my position, I should quit now." Nick had a tired look on his face.
"Man, Thad will be fine with it, he only kids. I'll let you go, you sound as if you need just as much rest."
"Bye."
Nick turned to Jeff who was sprawled across his single bed, and sighed. "Do you need some ice for your…." Nick didn't want to finish. Why did this make him so uncomfortable, he had one too and he has seen Sebastian's before.
Jeff bit his lip, wincing harshly as he pulled on the stitches, finally he shook his head. "No I'm alright… Nicky? If you have to sleep on the floor could you sleep close to the best so that I can reach down and hold your hand?" He blushed, "I mean… I understand if that's a really uncomfortable position, it's just I… I'm scared that I'll have nightmares and I need you there…. you can say no, it's okay."
"Of course I will hold your hand." he whispered. He didn't bother to grab a pillow or blanket. He lay down next to Jeff who was on the bed and held his hand tight.
"I love you Jeffie Bear" he spoke softly and lovingly.
Jeff smiled softly as Nick used the name he hadn't heard since he was about seven, "Love you too." He yawned, "I hope that things look better in the morning."
"As do I." Nick replied, crying himself to sleep.
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