Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Danny Phantom, I'm a big fan and was feeling nostalgic.
Note (03/18/2018): Warning! More tragic thoughts of suicide ahead! I feel so awful for making Danny so depressed but again, this is something he needs to work through and have Vlad talk him out of along with convince Danny that this really was the best place for him to be. Too bad Danny's too emotionally compromised to make the right choices for once. It doesn't help that a certain someone keeps messing with his head through some unknown means...
Chapter 11: Darkness Without End
Danny's POV
I can't remember much of what happened to me for the next few days because I kept slipping in and out of consciousness the whole time. And whatever I saw when I opened my eyes continued flashing between reality and the nightmares haunting me about Dan and my parents. They were all blurred together to the point where I didn't even know anymore which one I was more afraid of; my parent's rejection, or Dan's creation?
But one thing remained constant throughout it all. Vlad. He was always there, right beside me. Sometimes he was the reason I was afraid and I tried to pull away, but other times, Vlad was surprisingly gentle and soft-spoken with me and I couldn't help but feel comforted by the fact that I wasn't alone. That's something I know Vlad's always been afraid of, which is why he's so obsessed with me and my mom. But since this was the first time I've felt that way myself I was only now starting to understand what was so scary about it. About being alone with no one to turn to. Because as much as I didn't want to rely on him, I also wanted to, and those conflicting feelings didn't help me figure out what Vlad had to gain from any of this besides the usual, which was having me at his side.
You know what the funny thing is though? During those brief moments of consciousness, more then anything I really wanted to hear Vlad's answer. Why was Vlad doing all of this? Why was he taking care of me? Why did Vlad suddenly care about what happened to me at all when he clearly didn't before since we were fighting all the time? All of those empty promises of giving me a better life, of teaching me about my powers, wanting to 'rule' together, none of it meant a thing if in the end all Vlad cared about was having me as another underling. Because if that's why he was doing this, then nothing had changed and Vlad only wanted me to- No that was the whole point, wasn't it? I had no idea what Vlad wanted from me, and maybe that's what was actually bothering me...
Was I only an investment to him, or did Vlad really care?
When we met during my parents 20th college reunion, if he didn't know I was half ghost, or if I was still a hundred percent human, could we have been friends even though I could tell that Vlad had some beef with my dad? I have no idea. Even now I can't help but wonder if things could have been different between us if Vlad and I became friends instead of enemies. I can't help but wonder how much easier my ghost fighting could have gone if I was willing to go to him for help and advice despite our different opinions about how we should be using our ghost powers, since he had used his to gain riches and power while I used mine to help people and protect my family. Too bad the price for his 'friendship' turned out to be the loyalty I had for the man Vlad flat out despised, my dad, who is an important part of my family and one of the very people I was fighting so hard to protect.
Then again, after all of this do I owe my dad my love or loyalty anymore since he shot me...? Would things ever go back to how they were before with my family or was I suppose to take Vlad up on his offer now about renouncing my dad and joining him? And...was that really a bad thing anymore? What did I have left to lose as long as Vlad promised not to waste him? He was still my dad after all, even now...which is probably what hurt worse then the injury itself.
I still remember how I felt went I first met him. I thought Vlad was really cool for a grown up, not just because he was rich and didn't treat me like a punk kid or even a straight up delinquent like most adults seem to on reflex whenever I'm standing next to my sister who was clearly the smart one. But Vlad wasn't like that or super stiff like the stereotypical millionaire, he wasn't afraid to be really openly passionate and even sort of childish about his love of the Packers. Looking for a way to connect with him somehow I remember thinking about if I wasn't so scrawny and Dash wasn't such a big jerk -or if I wasn't too busy fighting ghosts with my new superpowers- I would have liked to try out for the football team at school, that way I could find something to talk about with Vlad even though I'm more interested in becoming an astronaut.
What does he know about my dreams though? I doubt Vlad even knows my favorite color or that I like Dumpty Humpty. Then again, neither do my parents. It's all about ghosts with them and Vlad was no exception. I was half-ghost, and therefore Vlad was fascinated and obsessed with learning all about that part of me while my parents wanted nothing more then to wipe that part of me out not knowing we're a package deal.
Even if I wanted to there's no way to get rid of these powers. Sure I could stop using them but...if I did, then what? I was on the run from my parents now and would probably never finish high school now so forget college. Heck I couldn't ghost fight anymore since my parents would find and gun me down again and then do something terrible in the name of 'saving me' from the big bad Danny Phantom. I couldn't show my face around town if a missing person's report was filed, so to put it simply, even though I wasn't dead or turned evil, my life was over...
And not even Vlad Masters could fix it with all the money in the world.
I was alone in the darkness in the middle of the night when I woke up again after what felt like an eternity. My body felt heavy and stiff from not moving for days on end, that is if you don't count when I was weakly thrashing in my sleep, so sitting up was an impossible task. So I gave up and deepened the darkness by resting my arms over my eyes, hoping to go back to sleep again...
A choked sob escaped my lips as reality came crashing down on me again about where I was and why. Because sooner or later I was going to have to talk to Vlad about all of this. But I didn't want to. How could I trust him? How could I trust myself right now either to make the right choice? There WAS no right choice, only the least painful one. And I just...wanted the pain to go awa-!?
Tears filled my eyes and continuously fell onto the pillow in a steady stream the moment that thought crossed my mind and my heart clenched as a wave of despair washed over me. That was it wasn't it? That's why Dan is still here, trapped in the thermos at Clockwork's Tower. He existed because I did, and so did the possibility of me becoming him. It existed because this turn of events was already underway and at some point I made a wrong turn, a wrong choice. But how was being too tired to think straight a mistake!? Being tired wasn't a choice, it was a result of all those stupid ghosts I had to fight and Vlad was one of them! If both Vlad and my parents were serious about saving me then...at some point they would rip me apart, one would try to rip out my humanity, the other, my actual ghost half.
Lowering my arms, I slipped into a sort of eerily calm trance, or maybe it was a form of serenity because I accepted the choice I was making just like when I faced off against the Ghost King knowing I might have to sacrifice myself. I knew what I had to do before this time around, I became the reason the world ended. This was best for everyone, especially Vlad because in that other timeline it wasn't until he lost the most important thing to him that he finally realized how tragic his life was and that he was the one who doomed himself to be alone. In a way, I was saving him right?
Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and made a duplicate, guiding its actions to do what it had to before I could even be surprised that I finally managed to do it without my powers being enhanced. If only I realized sooner that this wasn't the reason why at all, if only I opened my eyes and peered into the darkness to see what was actually in front of me. But I didn't care, I wasn't thinking anymore, I was only acting on my feelings of wanting to end it before something worse began and my friends and family suffered more then I was now...
I didn't even think of un-hooking the IV's and the heart monitor before I did anything, but like I said I was sort of zoned out and lethargic as I felt the hands of my duplicate reach for my neck and apply pressure. I knew it'd be scary to strangle myself, but I didn't fight it. Well, not a first until my survival instincts kicked in and my heart started racing which alerted Vlad to something being horribly wrong.
After that I started to struggle when it became harder and harder to breathe, my nails digging into the duplicate's arms as I thrashed. I finally snapped out of it and realized what I was doing, or thought I was doing and tried to recall the duplicate only to find that I couldn't! My eyes snapped open and to my horror I was met with...a pair of red eyes again. Only this wasn't my duplicate or Vlad's, it was-!
"D-dan...?" I choked, my eyes rolling when my lungs began to burn.
There was no immediate reply aside from a toothy grin that caught in the weak moonlight sifting through the window as he leaned in closer and whispered in a warped version of my own voice. "That's it, just give up, don't fight it anymore. I already told you there is no escaping your fate. Clockwork only delayed the inevitable, but in the end...you will lose everything someday one way or another. But you can still save yourself from the pain. All you have to do is set yourself free from this weak human side of yourself and become a ghost. Then you won't have to worry about anything anymore. No more detention at school or getting bullied by people lesser then you; no more disappointed stares from your parents and teachers; no more sleepless nights fighting against your own kind; no more painful human emotions to confuse you and divert you from what you really want. We both want the same thing Danny...we want our freedom from everything holding us back. I can give you that freedom. Just accept me...become me..."
His voice started to fade with my consciousness and realizing this he loosened his grip and I gasped for air, curling up as I hacked and coughed while rubbing my throat. After all, he couldn't kill me since we were the same person, the same being because then he really would cease to exist. But I couldn't even tell if this was yet another of those horrible nightmares about him or if somehow this was real. And if it was real, then I-!
"Daniel!" I suddenly heard Vlad shout as he shot a blast at young Dan whose red eyes flashed in the darkness facing his direction before he just...vanished into a fine green mist. After that I was blinded by another bright light when Vlad turned on the lights and rushed to my side, scanning the room for the intruder with his own eyes glowing solid red and electric pink energy crackling in his clenched fingertips.
As for me, I was still in shock and my mind was even more of a mess so before Vlad could demand to know who that was or demand to know how it -how Dan- had gotten through the shield around my room, something inside of me snapped. And without any shame or reserve I flung myself at him, grabbing fists full of his silk robe, and howled in pain and agony, my whole body quivering with hopeless sobs.
I've never felt so much like I child as I did right then, terrified of the monster in my closet. My parents actually used to check my closet to make sure it was ghost-free before tucking me in bed at night. But this monster...it wasn't imaginary. It was real. And he was in my head. I wasn't sure how but this explained so much about why I've been having so many nightmares about Dan lately. I assumed it was because of what happened with my parents and knowing I could never get my old life back even with Vlad's help. This was much worse though, Dan was...connected to me and his powers were leaking into mine somehow which is how he appeared as my own duplicate when I tried to...
Oh my god, did I seriously just try to-!
"Help me..." I suddenly pleaded, holding onto Vlad like my life depended on it more then it did when I was shot, which it probably did. "V-Vlad...I need your help. I can't do this alone, please..."
I was out of my league here. Because Dan was the one enemy I couldn't defeat on my own, even when I confronted him, it was only thanks to Vlad's future self that I managed to stop him. I needed to know that Vlad was on my side, here and now, and willing to do what I couldn't which was to erase Dan forever. Dan might need me to exist, but I didn't need him. He was going to have to be the first and only ghost I ever 'killed.' Otherwise the only other way to stop him...was to erase myself.
And it wasn't until just now that I finally realized- "I don't want to die!" I shouted with every fiber of my being, letting that truth drown of everything else. "Please...save me Vlad. Save me before I do something I'll regret forever! Before I..." Become him...
