A/N: It's been nearly four years since my last update on this fic *dodges brick* and I have no excuse other than the fact that Misha was giving me a headache and I was having trouble organizing the events in the storyline. I've finally managed to finish this chapter though, and you have no idea how happy this makes me.
Thank you everyone who has commented, favorited, followed, or simply read this story so far! You are amazing!
Subtitles:
"Someone's thoughts."
Neah and Merina talking inside Allen and Merissa's minds.
Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man, otherwise it would be a lot different. And I don't own the "His Dark Materials" trilogy as well. However, I do own Merissa, Ran, Ryel, Leon, Merina, Lika, Runi, Kindall, Wisely's snowy owl daemon whose name Allen doesn't know, Callyn, Maylia, Misha, and Dylan!
Reviews, likes, and constructive criticism are very welcome, but flames will be used to roast marshmallows.
I hope you enjoy!
Everybody's Got Their Daemons
by: GakuenAlicefan27
Chapter 12: Facets of Us
Allen blinked. He was in the library again.
He looked at Merissa. "You saw that too, right?"
Meri nodded. "I did." She reached up, pawing at his leg and looking at him. "Campbell?" She asked.
"That's what Cross said…but I don't understand." Allen said. "Neah?" Hethought.
It was my last name. He answered.
"But…Walker?"
Mana came up with it after. It was a symbolic gesture.
"Oh." Allen whispered, staring blankly at the paper he was supposed to be writing his mission report on. "I really don't know much, do I?"
Allen…
"Leave it be, Neah. It's just one more thing we'll have to digest. And we will." Meri thought, sadly.
Allen, please, that's not healthy…
"Allen, are you okay?" Lenalee asked, having just come from a corridor of bookshelves near their table. She put a hand on his shoulder, looking worried. "You're pale as a sheet of paper."
Allen forced a smile. "It's alright, Lenalee. Nothing you should worry about."
She frowned, mouth becoming a thin line. On the ground, Ryel was nuzzling Meri, careful not to hurt her with his antlers.
"You've just come back from a mission, haven't you? Did something happen? Are you feeling ill?" Lenalee insisted.
Allen shook his head. "The mission was fine."
"What is troubling you, then?" She asked.
"And don't you give us a fake smile again." Ryel said, voice reproachful.
Allen didn't answer. Lenalee's eyes got sad.
"Can't I help in anyway?" She asked.
Allen hugged her tight before he knew what he was doing. She hugged back immediately.
They stayed like that for less than a minute, probably, but it did help. A hug from someone who cared always helped.
Lenalee sighed. "You're stressed, I know. There's been a lot of things going on lately, and everyone's on edge." She said. "But if there's something else, I just want you to know that you can tell me, when you feel comfortable enough to do it, and I'll do my best to help you."
"I don't think it's as simple as that, Lenalee." He thought.
"Alright." He said.
He shook his head, trying to will away these thoughts. "I think I need to distract myself with other things now."
Meri pawed at Ryel's nose affectionately, then looked at Lenalee and said: "Allen still needs to write the mission's report, but we were thinking we could discuss Misha's welcome party after that."
Lenalee smiled. "Okay. After dinner?"
"After dinner." Allen agreed.
And with that, she and Ryel made their way out of the library so Allen could write a report he was in no state of mind to write.
~x~
"What exactly is going on in this village?" Lavi asked, frowning.
Allen and Lavi ended up being shipped off to a mission in Spain the day after Allen's talk with Lenalee, so Misha's party had to be postponed.
The village they'd been sent to had been suffering constant akuma attacks, but Allen and Lavi had been there for two days already and there was no sign of Innocence anywhere.
It was exactly like Allen's last mission.
"I don't know." Allen responded. "But I don't like it."
The last remaining akuma had them follow it to an abandoned house in the outskirts of the village. They had thought it was a trap - had walked in fully prepared for a trap - but nothing happened once they destroyed the akuma.
"The same thing happened in your last mission, didn't it?" Leon asked, looking at Meri, who nodded.
Lavi sighed. "Once is chance, twice is coincidence, three times is a pattern." He held his hammer a little more firmly. "I never liked this expression. Twice is more than enough for me to be suspicious." He said, looking around the living room they were standing in.
The house had clearly been abandoned for a while. The wallpaper was peeling off, the windows were broken, and there were cobwebs everywhere. It was a creepy house worthy of a horror movie, but nothing they hadn't seen before.
Lavi frowned. "All the furniture is old and dusty." He pointed to the right corner of the room. "Except for the piano."
Allen looked. It was true – There was a beautiful, shiny piano in the corner that looked brand new.
In the back of his mind, he heard music. A song that was achingly familiar and had his hands twitching. He took a step towards the piano.
Don't. It's a trap. Neah said immediately.
Allen forced himself to stop. The music faded slowly.
Meri circled his legs, alarmed. He put a hand to the back of her neck to calm her.
"Maybe there's Innocence in the piano." Lavi said, carefully approaching it.
Allen made to stop him, but Neah said:
Let him.
"What?!" Allen thought. "You just said it's a trap!"
Not for him.
Lavi began inspecting the piano. Leon observed him from the ground.
Realization dawned on Allen.
"They are watching us. They wanted to see how I would react to the piano."
Yes.
"That song I heard…it wasn't just a song, was it? It's important, it was our song."
Neah's voice was sad. They used to call me "The Musician".
"It sounds nice."
I liked "Brother" better.
Allen's stomach sunk. "I'm not anyone's brother."
I know people who would beg to differ.
"I'm not The Musician either."
No, you're the Destroyer of Time. That's a title I never had.
Allen's hands got clammy. Meri whined by his side.
Lavi finished his inspection. "There's nothing in the piano." He said, shaking his head. "We should go back."
They left the house then, Lavi trying to make sense of the situation while Allen wondered for just how long the Noah would play at this game before they lost their patience.
~x~
Allen ended up being in charge of distracting Misha and taking him to the mess hall when the time for the party came, so the following day consisted of he and Meri making sure to keep Misha busy at all times while the others organized everything.
Judging by the expression on Misha's face, he had caught on.
"You are a strange person, Allen." He said, as they walked down the corridor that led to the cafeteria. "You're very good at hiding certain things, but a failure at hiding others."
"We're not that good at hiding things." Meri said, which was a lie, but Misha didn't need to know that.
Misha smiled at her, a funny type of smile that was sweet yet strange. As the weeks had gone by, Allen noticed that he did these kinds of things a lot when it was just the two of them, but less so when there were other people around. In the past, Allen would have pushed it aside, but with everything that had happened recently, small things like this raised his hackles.
"Are you good at hiding things, Misha?" He asked, tone friendly.
Except there was no tone that would make this question sound friendly, not when Misha was clearly so very good at hiding his daemon, for Christ's sake.
But Allen hadn't remembered that until the last word had left his mouth.
Meri, who had been skipping ahead of them, lowered her ears in mortification, but Misha didn't seem at all offended.
"As good as the next person." He said, still smiling.
Allen had a feeling he was the "next person".
Before he could say anything though, Meri perked up and he looked ahead to see that Kanda and Ran had just turned the corner.
"Hey." Allen said, feeling a tinge of annoyance when Kanda looked at him and smirked. He suddenly remembered this was the first time they said anything to each other since Kanda had literally kicked down Allen's door and dragged him to the mess hall. "Bakanda."
"Moyashi." Kanda said. In the ground, Meri and Ran had started circling each other.
"You were on a mission, so I don't think you've met Misha, have you?" Allen said, nodding at Misha.
"Nice to meet you." Misha said.
"Tsk." Kanda said, barely sparing him a glance before continuing on his way, presumably to the dormitories. Ran followed him
Allen raised an eyebrow, but didn't bother asking him if he was going to the party. Meri nuzzled his leg, and he looked down.
"You can go ahead. I won't take long." She said, running to catch up to Ran, already at the end of the corridor.
Allen blinked, then wondered what he had done in a past life to deserve this. Kanda too, stopped and looked when he realized Meri was trailing along. He stared at them with an unimpressed expression, but both ignored him in favor of continuing their circling and mock fighting.
For a second, Allen and Kanda looked at each other, but neither said anything. Both knew better than to try and get between Meri and Ran when they were playing (if that could be considered playing).
Soon enough, Kanda was on his way again, the two daemons following close behind. Allen sighed and turned to Misha, whom he realized was looking terribly amused by all this.
"It seems Lavi was right after all." Was what he said.
"About what?" Allen asked, feeling his right eye twitch when Neah's laughter echoed inside his mind.
"He likes you best."
"Shut up!" He told both Misha and Neah.
~x~
Misha, for his part, did a good job of pretending to be surprised when they reached the mess hall, which saved Allen from hearing Lenalee's chiding regarding spoiling the surprise. He found that Misha blend in with others pretty easily, and soon enough he was engrossed in conversation with a group of finders.
Normally, he would have done the same, but Meri still hadn't come back, and he could feel some people staring when they thought he wasn't paying attention. He sighed, approaching Lenalee to help her cut the cake.
"Allen!" Ryel said, cocking his head to the side when he didn't see Meri. "Where's Merissa?"
Ryel had been getting better at dealing with the discomfort that seeing Allen and Meri apart caused him, but he still moved a little bit closer to Lenalee when he asked, as if to make sure she was still by his side.
"With Kanda and Ran, wherever they are." Allen answered, grabbing the plates for the slices of cake.
Lenalee turned her attention to Allen. "And Kanda was alright with that?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
Allen shrugged, and Lenalee smiled. "Well, here's to hoping they don't break anything."
"Or each other." Lavi piped in, coming up from behind Allen and making grabby hands at the cake. "But nah. It's Meri, she'll be fine."
Lenalee nodded, watching as Leon jumped from Lavi's shoulder to Ryel's back, narrowly missing his antlers. "Probably." She turned to Allen again. "Are you feeling better?"
Allen grimaced; he'd been hoping she'd forgotten about that. "Sure."
Lenalee narrowed her eyes.
"Mostly." He admitted. It was truthful enough; though he still needed time to process the information being thrown at him, that particular matter hadn't been bothering him that day.
"You seem fine." Lavi said. "Though a little tense. Rough day?"
"Not really." Allen said. "Just feeling a little self-conscious; nothing I'm not used to."
Lenalee frowned, holding the tray for the cake close to her chest. "It's gonna get better, Allen. Sometimes people just need a little time."
Lavi grunted. "They seem comfortable enough with Misha."
"Pardon?" Ryel said, looking at Misha to try and understand what Lavi was talking about.
Allen looked too, but there was nothing out of the ordinary to see. Misha was still deep in conversation with that same group of finders, laughing as one of them gesticulated wildly. "Isn't it good that they are getting along with Misha?"
"Sure it's good." Leon said, changing from green to blue to brown. "It just doesn't make sense."
"Why do you say that?"
"No one has ever seen his daemon." Lavi said. "But somehow, no one seems to care. Everyone lost their minds when they found out Allen and Meri could separate indefinitely, but no one is talking about Misha's mystery daemon, and it's been weeks already. How come?"
"Oh." Lenalee said, blinking slowly. "I…had forgotten about that."
"Forgotten." Lavi said, skeptically.
"Not forgotten, I guess. I just…stopped thinking about it? I probably wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't pointed it out just now."
"I kind of pushed the thought aside too." Allen admitted. He thought back to all the other times he'd been with Misha, including their walk to the cafeteria, and was baffled to realize that he probably wouldn't have paid much mind to the matter of his hidden daemon if Lavi hadn't kept talking about it.
Lavi's expression changed from skeptic to something a little bit harder. "That's not normal."
"It's not." Allen agreed. He thought of the conversation he'd had with Neah over this. "We may have made a mistake putting this off for so long."
"Hevlaska would have noticed if something was wrong." Ryel said, trying to ease their minds.
"Probably." Lavi agreed. "And yet, she didn't notice that Allen and Meri's bond was different, did she?"
Allen tensed. "If she did, she never said anything." He didn't know exactly how many of his secrets Hevlaska had been able to see when he'd first come to the Order, but surely she would have told on him if she knew he were a Noah in the making, wouldn't she?
Or not. Perhaps it was the same as with his Innocence not forsaking him. Hevlaska's essence was mostly made of Innocence, so perhaps she wouldn't care that he was a Noah, as long as he was fighting for God.
Now, could this extend to Misha, in case something really was off?
Maybe. Was Neah's response; his tone was not the happiest one.
Meri arrived then, curling around his legs as a way to soothe the agitation inside his mind. Allen let out a long breath, focusing on having her with him. The thoughts going around his brain were overwhelming him, so he excused himself to go to the bathroom, leaving Lavi and Lenalee to their discussion about Misha. Once there, he splashed cold water on his face, trying to fight off the throbbing headache he felt coming, as well as the feeling that the walls were closing in on him.
All of a sudden, he felt the weight of all the secrets he was keeping, as if they'd been building up for weeks just to crush him when he least expected them too.
It is not an easy existence, that of a Noah. Merina said.
"No one ever said it was." Allen thought. He was starting to understand Tyki a little better; why he went through the trouble of assuming a hobo persona and living a double life. Right now, Allen would love to have something to distract him from being a Noah.
Even if it's a lie. Neah said.
"It's not a lie if the friendships he made were real."
And how real can friendships built on lies be?
"You're being bitter." Meri thought.
I am, indeed. Neah said. Doesn't mean I'm wrong.
"You talk too much." Allen thought.
You don't talk enough. Neah retorted. At least, not when it comes to what you really want to say.
Allen already knew that. He had gone through years upon years of keeping his mouth shut instead of retaliating the way he wanted to, even when it seemed like the unsaid words were growing toxic inside of him.
"Why would I want to shake hands with a cursed person?" Kanda had asked, when they first met.
"Why would you want to anger one?" Allen thought, and bit his tongue.
His life had always been more about the things he didn't say out loud then the things he allowed other people to hear.
~x~
Meanwhile at Noah's Ark:
Tyki looked up from the newspaper he was reading when he felt Sheril's presence looming by the door. Beside him, on the ground, Road stopped playing with her dolls and did the same.
With just one look, Tyki knew his brother was not in his usual chirpy mood, which meant this could only be about one thing:
"What exactly do you think you're doing?" Sheril asked, his bird of paradise daemon, Lara, perched on his shoulder with a very somber expression for such a colorful bird.
Tyki could pretend he didn't know what Sheril was talking about, or he could answer with something sassy, like reading the newspaper, but Sheril's knuckles were white from their grip on the door's handle, and he looked like he was a few seconds away from tearing the whole thing from its hinges.
It was a common look on him, when Neah was involved.
Road grabbed Runi from his cushion on the sofa, petting his fur as she looked at Sheril. "That's no fun." She said, obviously thinking the same thing as Tyki. "I thought you would take longer to find out."
Tyki sighed, deciding to be direct, for once. "You didn't think we would simply forget about it, did you?"
Sheril's eyes narrowed. "Not forgetting is one thing." He said. "Reaching out is another."
"Hoping is another." Lara said, distaste evident in her voice.
Tyki shrugged. "We need to make sure it's really him."
"And then what?" Sheril spat. "You fabricate false Innocence trails, you observe him from afar when he goes on missions, you put a piano in front of him to see how he reacts, but what would have happened if he had reacted? What would you do next? Try and talk to him? Tell him you missed him? Welcome him back?" The door made an awful creaking sound. "He turned his back on us. He killed us. Have you forgotten about that?"
"He didn't kill me." Road muttered.
"Just because the Earl killed him first."
"It doesn't matter!" Road hissed. "What matters is that we're family, and that we'll always be. I know he betrayed us! I know it doesn't make sense to want him back! I buried all of you, remember?"
Sheril gritted his teeth, but didn't yell. No matter how mad he was, he never yelled at Road. "He'll be next." He said. "If that boy really is him, I'll make sure he's the one being buried next." And then he left.
Road screamed in frustration, grabbing a doll and throwing it against the wall.
"Calm down, Road." Tyki said, raising his finger so Kindall, who had been hiding in his hair, could perch on it.
"You don't think he means it?" Road asked.
"I think Neah's betrayal wouldn't make him so angry if he hadn't loved him too." He said, simply. "Besides," He smiled. "Take it from someone who tried, that shounen isn't easy to kill."
~x~
At the Black Order, the following day:
Allen knocked on Komui's office's door, entering at the "Come in!" He received in answer.
"Morning, Komui." He began. "Do you have a…Jesus Christ!" He exclaimed, looking at what was supposed to be the floor of the office, but was instead a sea of documents.
"Morning, Allen!" Komui said, cheerfully waving from his desk. His orangutan daemon, Kida, was on his lap with her arms around his neck. "How can I help you?" He asked.
"Komui, what kind of hurricane passed in here?! This is worse than it normally is!" Meri exclaimed as Allen tried to make his way to the desk without getting a footprint on anything important.
"Ah, you see…" Komui began, scratching Kida's head. "I…might have forgotten that I was keeping all of those in a cabinet, and then I opened the cabinet while looking for my mug and they scattered all over the room." He laughed nervously.
"And by "keeping" you mean "piling them up till the cabinet was bursting", don't you?" Meri said, unimpressed.
"Er…maybe? Just a few weeks' worth of paperwork though."
"Komui!" Allen and Meri said in unison.
"But anyway! To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" He asked.
Allen pinched the bridge of his nose. Why had he come again? Oh, right.
"Cross." He said. "I wanted to ask if there's any new information regarding him."
Komui's eyes softened. "Sorry, Allen, but the General is still missing. We've got nothing on him."
"Nothing at all?" Meri pleaded. "Not even hearsay?"
Kida shook her head. "We would have told you if something had come up."
Allen looked at the ground. "We thought The Central might be withholding information. You know, because of the trial."
"Not that I know of. But!" He said. "Maybe we're worrying over nothing. You and I know how much Cross loves to disappear every once in a while; he just might show up out of the blue one of these days and everything will be alright!"
"Yeah." Allen said.
But Allen really needed to talk to him. About his past, about who he was, about how much Cross knew…
About everything.
I would like to talk to him too. Neah said, quietly. And that's something I never thought I'd say.
"Oh well!" Komui said, clasping his hands together. "Would you look at that, it's time for lunch!"
"You're just gonna leave this mess for the others to sort through, aren't you?" Allen said.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He said, sprinting from the office with Kida in his arms.
"Un-be-lievable." Allen muttered, as Meri moved to take a better look at some of the papers strewn around. There was a stack that seemed to have caught her attention.
"Allen." She said, pawing at his leg. "Look." She nosed some letters near his feet. "These are Misha's."
"Misha's?" Allen repeated, kneeling down to gather them.
There were three letters, and indeed, all of them were from Misha, addressed to his orphanage in Russia. They had been returned, unopened.
"Were they returned?" Meri asked.
Allen frowned. "Yeah. I don't know how many he sent, but these three were all returned."
"Why?"
"The stamps say the address wasn't found."
"Maybe he wrote something wrong, then." Meri commented, standing on her hind legs to look at what was written. "…Or not. It's the same address in all of them. He can't have written it wrong three times, can he?"
"I don't think so." Allen sat down on the ground. "Perhaps something happened to his orphanage while he was away?"
No. Neah said, startling Allen. There was something icy in his tone that instantly made Allen alarmed.
"Neah…" He began.
I know this address, Allen. It used to be a church, but it was destroyed a few months before I died.
Allen didn't say anything, though he had a question burning on the tip of his tongue.
"Are you saying Misha lied?" Meri asked, her body turning tense.
Open the letters. Merina growled.
Normally, Allen would have protested; but Neah and Merina never acted serious unless something was off and, in that moment, they seemed murderous.
He opened the first letter and blinked at it once he saw what was inside.
"It's…blank." He said, baffled. It was just a piece of paper with nothing written on both sides. "Why would Misha…?"
Open the next one. Neah said.
Allen did. Blank.
He opened the third and last letter without prompting, then did a double take when he realized it actually had something written in it.
"What…?" Meri asked.
Figured it out yet? Was written.
Son of a…! Neah seethed. Find him. He barked. I need to have words with him.
"Neah, what's going on? Is Misha dangerous?" Allen asked, hand crumpling the paper and putting it in his pocket.
Yes and no. Let me talk to him. I'll explain later.
"Wait, do you mean talk to him as in he'll actually know he's talking to you and not Allen?"
I'll explain later.
Allen gritted his teeth. "Fine." He conceded. "I'll talk to him, but you'll have to explain everything to me after that."
~x~
Misha wasn't in the training room or in the mess hall, so Allen checked his bedroom. He knocked twice before Misha answered it.
"Morning, Allen."
"Morning." Allen said. "There's something I wanna talk to you about. Do you have the time now?"
"Sure." Misha answered, making way for Allen and Meri to enter and closing the door behind him. "Have a seat." He gestured to a chair in the corner. Allen couldn't help noticing that the room was pretty bare for a place that had been housing someone for weeks. The only personal belonging he could see was Misha's Innocence, Purifier of Sins.
"Thanks, but I'll stand." He said.
"Okay, then. What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Misha asked.
Tell him that you thought direct interference was not allowed.
"What? Why would I...?"
Tell him.
Allen sighed. He focused back on Misha, who was staring at him with a strange expression, as if he were looking at him, but seeing something else.
He didn't like this. He didn't like this one bit.
"Is something wrong, Allen?"
Allen swallowed dry. "I thought direct interference was not allowed." He said.
Misha smiled, but it was not the smile Allen was used to see on him; it was not light or carefree – He'd go as far as saying it was slightly unnerving.
Meri put herself between the two of them, but Misha ignored her, looking straight into Allen's eyes. "I'm only observing. I haven't interfered." He responded.
Yet. Neah said.
"Yet." Misha agreed.
But Allen hadn't said that out loud. He immediately took a step back, ready to activate Clown Crown. Meri bared her teeth at Misha, but he made no attempt at getting closer to them.
"This war is getting out of control." Misha said, as if he were talking about the weather.
Allen kept his battle stance, but inwardly flinched when Neah bristled. This war is not yours to meddle with.
"That's what you said last time, so I didn't." Misha remarked. "And you died."
Neah didn't say anything, but Allen could feel that he was seething. Merina had kept quiet until now, but her restlessness was seeping through their bond, making Meri twitchy.
I died fighting.
"You died hesitating." Misha corrected him, and something flickered in his eyes. Disappointment? Sadness? "You had one chance, and you didn't take it."
Allen stilled. Neah had told him, when they'd talked inside his mind, that there was one way to defeat the Earl, but he hadn't done it back then.
"And you won't do it now." Misha added, this time responding to Allen's thoughts. His blue eyes bore through Allen's soul; his smile had turned bittersweet. "You don't even know what we're talking about, Allen; but I assure you, you won't be able to do it. You won't find it in you to do so, just like Neah couldn't find it in himself to do it in the past."
Stay out of this! Neah yelled, furious. Misha shook his head as if he were talking to a child.
"I want to help, Neah. I know you don't believe me; I know you never did – but I want to help."
"You don't understand anyth-"
"Don't I?" Misha interrupted, voice suddenly frigid. "Don't I understand what it's like having to fight your own family?"
Allen felt a wave of secondhand shame wash over him. It lasted for several seconds until Neah spoke again, his anger apparently deflated.
Nothing good ever comes from things like this.
Misha sighed, putting a hand on Allen's shoulder. Allen shrugged it off.
"I won't take part in any confrontation" Misha assured.
But you won't leave.
"Soon enough." Was his reply. "But not now. You will need my help."
Neah didn't respond, and Allen had no idea what to say, so Misha continued. "Now, I think it's better that you and Allen talk in private. Clear things up for the poor boy, will you? He seems downright lost."
Bookman's apprentice is onto your lack of daemon. Neah warned.
"Neah!" Allen and Meri exclaimed, incredulous.
Misha chuckled. "I figured he was."
Let's go, Allen.
Allen didn't want to go. At all. He wanted to keep Misha in his line of sight. But loathe as he was to leave Misha to his own devices, he wanted answers, and he figured the quicker he and Neah had that talk, the quicker he would get them, and the quicker he could decide how to deal with this new situation. So he left.
Meri was less resolute though. She kept looking back at Misha's door as they walked away.
"He's not gonna hurt Lavi, is he?" She asked.
No, Meri. I'd never have mentioned Lavi if I thought he would be hurt.
"Is he gonna stop hiding his daemon, then?"
Neah didn't answer for a while, only speaking when they had reached their own bedroom.
There's no daemon, Meri. He said, sounding incredibly tired. Angels don't have daemons.
A/N: Thank you for reading! I promise the next chapter won't take another four years. -.-
You can find me on tumblr as agarotado27dejunho
