Tales of Symphonia © Namco


When I first come to, I gag at the feeling of a foreign object in my throat. My first instinct is to rip it out but my wrist feels too heavy. When I twitch my fingers a hot white pain races up my arm, forcing a pained gasp from my mouth.

'Don't do that again,' I think to myself, trying to keep my breathing even while I wait for the pain to dissipate. I force myself to breathe through my nose, which results in even more pain.

My eyes are glued shut and when I finally crack them open the white room around me makes me wince and shut them again. As I attempt to shift, feeling uncomfortably stiff in my position, I find my body not reacting properly and feel panic swell in my stomach.

I attempt to wiggle my fingers again, but the pain returns and makes me fight back a whimper. I try again, with my toes, and get the same result, and try to ignore the way my chest is compressing.

'Calm down,' I think, trying to shake away the panic, 'you're fine, just stay calm.'

I try to breathe through my nose again, but the action makes me grimace. Slowly I count to ten, trying to even my breathing, and after a few rounds of this my chest seems to loosen a bit. I attempt to open my eyes again and thankfully, I'm not blinded by light this time. As I blink, I can't help but wonder why it is so silent. I remember collapsing, so shouldn't I hear Sheena at least? Unless she left me here ... but then, it wasn't bright in the Mausoleum, so then where can I be?

I try to move my head, but my neck is stiff. Feeling unusually helpless, I shut my eyes and just lay there, trying to make out any sound that could give me a clue as to where I am. Besides the obnoxious beeping and buzzing, which I'm assuming is just in my head, it is utterly silent. My chest feels like there is a suction cup on it, as does my head. When I hear a door creak open, I blink and try to look in the direction. A white clad figure steps into my field of vision, with a clipboard in hand, and I blink again. When he notices I'm awake his face — which is outlined by deep stress lines and bags from sleep — seems to brighten just a bit. I feel a wave of unease build in my chest.

"Wonderful," he murmurs, stepping over to me. This time, when I try to move my head I can, and I look around the room. The beeping and buzzing that I was hearing isn't from my head, but from the cluster of machines at my side. I stare at the heart monitor for a moment, before looking back at the man. The unease is starting to disperse as the reality of where I am starts to clear up.

I'm in a hospital; not in the Mausoleum, not on Sylvarant, but on Earth, in a hospital.

"I'm sure you're confused," the doctor starts. As I blink back tears ('Oh god, it was a dream, I'm OK') he checks the machines, jotting down a few things as he does so. "Your parents left awhile ago; visiting hours ended already."

Questions are rushing through my head; I have so many that I can't even tell which are the most important. They all feel important. Through the tube, I attempt to speak, only to break into dry coughs that make my throat and body scream in pain.

"Oh, let me remove that for you ... "

The doctor removes the tube — which feels incredibly odd — and when my throat is clear, I immediately attempt to ask what happened only to break into yet another fit of coughs. It sounds like a rough barking sound that makes me wince. The doctor shakes his head at me, settling down on a rolling black stool as he speaks.

"Careful. You've been in a coma for nearly two months now. Don't strain yourself."

I swallow dryly, breathing through my nose. My throat aches. The word coma makes me feel ill, and my voice is hoarse when I speak. "I — ..." I swallow again, try to speak, but find it almost impossible. My voice won't work.

My eyes dart down to the needles in my arm and I shiver. I'm tempted to rip them out, but that'll be too painful and they'll just get stuck right back in. I feel exhausted, despite apparently being comatose for nearly two whole months. My entire body feels like it was thrown under a truck.

As he leans back, the doctor says, "You were in an accident." I roll my head to the side, breathing out a heavy breath. "Hit by a semi; it's a miracle you survived at all with the speed it was going." He shakes his head, looking perplexed. "By all means, you shouldn't have survived."

I scrunch my face up at that, and grimace when my ribs pulsate. When I look down, I notice both of my legs are in a thick cast, and my eyes widen in terror and confusion.

The doctor notices my expression and says, "You sustained quite a few serious injuries; four broken ribs, one of which pierced your lung and nearly your heart. Your pelvis was fractured in several places, as was your sternum, both femurs, and your left wrist."

I blink tiredly, feeling a bit dizzy. I form my lips into an 'o' shape, before letting my eyes slip shut. "Along with that, your brain was swelling and you had some internal bleeding." He presses his free hand against his forehead, pushing his black bangs away from his face. "Like I said; you shouldn't be alive. Not only did the truck run over you, but you were trapped underneath a tire when it backed up."

My eyes start to water and I sob, in relief and horror, and then again when I feel the pain from that action. Those injuries are really really bad; he's right when he says I should be dead. But ... I'm not. Not only am I alive, but I'm alive in my own world; not in some fictional one. Sure, I'm in a tremendous amount of pain right now, but ... I'm home.

Despite my tears, I feel a rush of happiness. So it really was all a dream. A dream caused by a severely traumatic incident that left my body in a coma, and nothing else. If my throat didn't hurt so bad, I would probably laugh at how all the terror I felt, fighting for my life and wandering through the wilderness wasn't real. Instead, I just settle for a tired smile through my tears, staring at the ceiling.

Yet ... the fact that I could dream something so vividly; enough so to feel actual pain and have nightmares in my sleep is just scary. It felt so ... real. I could make decisions and feel terror and sorrow and every emotion I can feel in real life. I don't think I've ever had a dream as vivid as that one.

I hope that I never have a dream like that again.

The doctor reaches for a remote connected to the hospital bed, and presses a button that slowly shifts the bed so that I'm upright.

"Now, let's check how you're doing."


The next day, my parents come to visit. They're in as soon as visiting hours have started, and I don't even fight back the tears that form when my mother breaks into tears and strokes my hair.

I blink rapidly, leaning into her touch. I'm not usually affectionate, but I'm so overwhelmed right now that I don't care. My mom is here, right here, holding me. She's real, I'm real, I'm safe.

"My girl —" she cups my face in her hands, running her fingers through my hair. It is knotted and brittle, thinner than ever before. "Oh, my girl — I thought I wouldn't see you again." She's speaking to me in Chinese rather than English.

I shut my eyes and nod in agreement. 'Believe me mom, I thought the same thing.'

My dad is standing behind us, out of the actual affection line but close enough to chime in when necessary. Next to him is the doctor. The two of them are speaking in rapid Chinese to each other, too fast and advanced for me to understand. I am, however, able to catch small snippets of the conversation every so often. My dad asks something about going home, and although I try to listen for the doctor's reply, my mom starts talking to me before I can about what has been happening since I got hospitalized.

I try to form a sentence, but all that escapes is a grunt of air. I need to know how everyone is; my younger brother; is he OK? What about my older brother? Is he still going to graduate?

I grasp for my mom's hand, and when she looks at me I mouth, 'Tai ko', which is Cantonese for older brother. I can't speak, but I can hope that my mom will be able to read my lips.

My mother's lips purse, and she asks me to do it again. When I do, her face seems to get grim. "Kyle ... well, he has slipped in school."

I frown at that. My older brother has never had very good grades — straight C's usually, with an occasional B — and if he's slipped, then the chances of him graduating might be lower. I would hate to be the reason my brother didn't graduate.

I fumble, unsure how to ask what I mean in Chinese, so I mouth it in English. 'Bad.'

The lines around her mouth seem to deepen, and I feel worry pool in my stomach. "He will still graduate." I breathe out in relief when I hear that. I shift in the bed as my mother says, "They visit soon."

I slump back against the bed, taking a deep breath despite the pain it causes me.

My parents stay for another thirty minutes before they have to leave for work. I don't know how they've been keeping their jobs, considering that it seems that they've been visiting every day since I got in here, but I'm glad they still have them. I've already caused my family a lot of trouble it seems, just by being in the hospital. I hope insurance covers all of it.

When they're gone, a nurse enters after the doctor to check my IV. Seeing as I'm pretty much immobile, I still have the tube connected to my bladder in so that I don't need to get up for the restroom. Right now, though, my wishes for a shower are stronger than they've ever been before.

There isn't very much to do when in the ICU. I can't move my hands properly, my fingers are stiff and uncooperative, I can't eat, and I can't walk. According to Dr. Feng, all of the actions that I'm used to doing will need to be relearned through physical therapy.

I'm really not looking forward to it; just imagining the whole process makes me exhausted. I can't help letting my eyes slip shut; last night, I was terrified that if I fell asleep, I would wake up in Sylvarant again. To be honest, I'm still terrified beyond belief of it happening, but waking up this morning in the same hospital room to the same beeps makes drifting into sleep a lot easier this time.

As soon as I've fallen asleep though, I'm awake again. Blearily, I look around the room, searching for the voices I just heard. From the doorway, my brothers crowd their way into the room and rush to my bedside.

I blink a few times to clear my vision, and notice that it is a lot brighter than I remember it being when I fell asleep. I must've been asleep longer than I thought.

"Eden, oh thank god you're awake —" my older brother stands beside my bedside. I give him a weak, but cheeky smile, feeling relieved to see him in the flesh.

'I'm as resilient as ever.' I joke to myself, since I still can't speak. My fist clenches the bed sheets tightly; I feel like it'll slip away from me if I let go.

My little brother must read my mind, or something, because he pipes in with, "Leave it to her to survive something like this."

His lips droop into a similar smile as mine. "Looks like we can't get rid of her yet."

My little brother steps beside him, tossing something into my lap. I flinch and press my fingers against it. The smooth case of my phone is what I feel, and I'm suddenly struck with another wave of tears.

Anthony sees them, and he crosses his arms. "I know you're a phone addict, Eden, but you don't need to cry."

I send him a dirty look as I stare at the object. My hands are shaking as I try to grip it, but I'm unable to hold it. Seeing my struggle, my older brother takes it and holds the power button down. The 'Samsung' logo lights up in the middle of the screen as it powers on, and after a few seconds of loading the screen appears.

He sits beside me, squeezing into the space that is left, and lets me see the screen. The first thing I notice is how it is flooded with texts. As I read through the brief sentences that I can see from the screen, I notice that most of them are from my friend, and that all of them were sent over three weeks ago.

The password screen comes up, and my older brother gives me an expectant look. His finger glimpses over the '1' button, and I shake my head. When he reaches '6', I nod, and then we start all over for the second number. By the time we've unlocked my phone, my little brother is slouching at my other side.

'December 12, 2013'

My older brother lets me read through the messages, with me nudging him every so often to get him to scroll down, before he powers off the display and places it down at my side as he stands up. There is a brief silence, in which I try to figure out a way to convey my question to him without words.

I swallow when I can't figure out how, and decide to attempt saying it. However, the sentence I was trying to say ('You're failing a class?') comes out as a very quiet, and very raspy sounding, "... F-Fa ... iling?"

His face goes through a range of emotions in the span of a second. At first it is relief, I'm guessing from hearing me finally say something, but then it twists into a displeased one. "Yeah. Sorry, I can't exactly focus when my sister is in a coma with the chance of not waking up," he says this a bit bitterly, and I almost wince at how upset he sounds.

I frown and avert my eyes, feeling a bit bad.

"Don't do that ever again." I look up at him, confused. I don't actually remember how I got hit in the first place; I forgot to ask mom and dad when they first visited, and all that Dr. Feng told me was that I was hit by a semi. I open my mouth to attempt another sentence, only to be cut off by my dad.

"Time to go," he says. My face drops, but I don't feel as disheartened as I did the first time I was left alone in this room. I mean, sure, I'm in the hospital recovering from a near fatal accident, but I'm alive. I'm on Earth, not trapped in Tales of Symphonia. I won't be stuck there ever again, because it isn't real. It is just a game.

Once they're gone, I'm left in silence and I decide that when I finally get home I'm going to break that game in two and never play it again. No longer is it my favorite game; not after the hellish dream I finally got out of. I'm never going to play it again.

The rest of the day I spend in physical therapy, though I don't know if it can even be called that since all I'm doing is sitting in bed while a nurse tries to have me do simple tasks like clench a rubber ball and push back against her hand with a limb. It is a very tiring process even though I'm barely doing anything and by the time I'm done I feel like crying because of how weak I am. Gripping a ball is hard, and my wrist throbs in pain every time I use it.

I can't push back against the nurse, either. I miss moving freely, and I am already dreading the months (probably years) that I'm going to spend recovering. According to Dr. Feng, I have at least a a good seven or eight months of physical therapy ahead of me before I start to regain even simple movements like getting myself dressed on my own and brushing my teeth. Walking, he said, could take upwards to a year or even two years.

Yet, by the end of the day, when I'm watching the television screen in the top corner of the room, I can't help but feel happy despite it all.

'It is so nice to be home,' I think, smiling to myself. 'So very nice.'


My eyes snap open and I let out a high pitched scream of pain. Above me, dark colours are folding into a muddy mess. My head feels hot and everything hurts. Tears leak from the corners of my eyes and I weakly call for Dr. Feng, attempting to find the remote that'll let me call him.

Except, when I flop my right hand down to grab it, I smack stone. Pain rushes through my arm and I turn my head, looking for the sterile walls of the hospital.

I don't see white, nor do I see a wall. Instead I see dark skies and trees, illuminated by a very faint red light. I'm confused for a second. Then, I realize it.

'I'm not in the hospital anymore.'

A violent sob pulls from my throat and I lift my right hand to rest it over my face. Crying hurts so badly but I can't stop. My chest heaves.

This can't be happening. It can't be. I just got home—I was home, I was with my family, I was safe.

Why am I back here?

I feel cold hands move mine back from my face and through my tears I see silver. My breaths are shaky and I feel so angry that I grit my teeth tight enough to make my jaw hurt.

"Be careful," a voice orders. Through the anger I feel a cold hand brush over my forehead. If I could, I would jerk away from the hand, but I'm so weak I can barely clench my hand into a fist. "You need to rest."

"Mom …" I croak, my chest burning. Why did I get thrown back into Sylvarant when I had finally gotten home? It's just … cruel. Unfair. Am I dreaming again? Maybe there's a way I can force myself to wake up like I did last time.

"I'm not your mother," the voice replies. The silver and orange blob shifts and I stare into her voice. As my vision starts to clear the warmth in my head grows and I grimace. The features start to sharpen through my tears.

The blob is vaguely familiar. In person, I've only seen it twice. On screen, I've seen it hundreds of time. Raine Sage; the cleric of the party.

My fingers twitch and I struggle to keep my temper down and suppress my emotions. "Wh-Why … I want—… why?"

I pinch the skin of my neck between my nails, trying desperately to force myself back into the hospital. Before I can do more than a little pinch, though, Raine moves my hand away from the skin and places it back beside me.

"How is she?" A soft voice questions.

Raine shakes her head. "Delusional. The fever hasn't fallen get. Go back to sleep, Colette."

There's a brief silence before Colette responds with, "Yes ma'm."

My vision is clearing and as my eyes roam the campsite I search for the familiar splash of purple and pink that is Sheena. I don't see her and my stomach clenches. "Is … Sheena …?"

Raine shifts next to me. "Someone from our group is keeping watch on her." Someone—Kratos? I clench my jaw in worry and Raine says, "She is not harmed. We're simply being careful. You two did try to kill Colette, after all."

Her tone is sharp and if I wasn't facing such tremendous internal turmoil I would probably flinch. Instead I breathe deeply, my throat aching. As much as I want to know what happened, I'm afraid to ask. All I remember was fighting Lloyd and then … numbness and static. And then I was home.

Tears bud at my eyes again and I wheeze, trying to hold back sobs in my throat. Unfortunately, I'm unable to do so and once the first sob is out, I'm unable to stop. It causes me to twitch in pain, but I don't care. With my right hand I bring it up to my head, grasping my hair tightly between my fist. I can still hear my mother's voice, still feel her hands running through my hair back at the hospital.

This has to be another dream; it has to. I'm not capable of dreaming up that hospital room — I'm not. I can't be.

But ... what if I did?

Was the hospital a dream? Or is this a dream?

I wish I could say that I'm 100% sure that this world — Tales of Symphonia — is just a dream I'm living from a hospital room, but I can't. Nothing feels right anymore; I can't tell fact from reality.

"I can't do much more to ease your pain," Raine says, mistaking my tears of anger for ones of pain. "The pain from a purge is one only the body can heal." Strangely, she sounds almost sympathetic. I fist my hair tighter, biting my tongue hard enough that I can taste blood.

Raine waits patiently for me to calm down — which takes an embarrassingly long time — and says nothing. When I swallow, tasting blood mixed in with saliva, I mutter, "Has to be ... I'm dream—...dreaming ..."

The cold hand brushes across my forehead again and this time I flinch and jerk away. Raine frowns, looking like she wants to say something but can't. By now my eyes are dry again, and besides the pulsating pain in my left wrist, the only soreness I feel is just in my muscles.

This has to be a dream. Maybe if I go to sleep, I'll wake up in the hospital. It's a dream, it's a dream. I'm not really here, I'm not in Sylvarant, I'm not really fighting for my life ...

I shut my eyes and try to calm myself down. I can't fall asleep if I'm panicking. I just need to relax and become peaceful so I can go to sleep and wake up on Earth again. So I can get out of this nightmare.

By the time I've reached that point, I actually do feel tired. I hear someone approach and say something but my mind is lost and too far away to understand what.

Not that it matters. What a person in a dream says will not affect me in real life.


The worst part about waking up, this time, is that before I've even opened my eyes I know I'm still on Sylvarant. In fact, I think I realize this before I'm even completely awake.

There's something different about the two worlds; that is, Sylvarant and Tethe'alla. There's a constant buzzing in the air that is so faint it is almost like a hum. So low that you need to listen for it, and when you do it just goes through your body. I'm guessing that to someone who was born and raised with the noise it isn't even there, but for someone like me, someone who hasn't ever been around it before the last month or two, it is obvious.

Earth doesn't have that. It has never had that.

I guess it's similar to growing up in a huge city, with cars buzzing around all hours of the day and just growing used to the hum of the city, and then moving to an area so isolated that the closest person is a good mile away from you.

It's an obvious difference; except Sylvarant is the city, and Earth is the isolated area.

The hum vibrates in my throat as I blink, sucking in a breath. The sky is starting to light up, but it is still dark enough for me to know that it is before dawn. Feeling numb, I stare up at the sky, unsure of how to even react right now. My emotions are scattered and out of control, muddled together in a way such that there are no 'emotions', but just one huge 'emotion'. One part of me wants to kick, scream, cry — demand to be brought home. It wants to throw a tantrum; express the immense amount of grief with anger.

The other part wants to roll over and stay silent. Do nothing; wait to die, maybe. It is a clash between a terrible numbness and anger that can't be expressed in words. Pure, raw, untamed agony and grief.

I go with a middle point between the two. Bite back the tears, but glare angrily up at the sky with my teeth grinding against each other. Hold back a scream, but dig my nails into the ground and uproot the grass and dirt beneath them. Don't demand to leave, but look around for any familiar people.

Raine's back is to me. Her orange cloak has been shed somewhere, and she's speaking to Kratos about something. His eyes are staring impassively at her as she talks, and every so often his lips form into a single word, or a few words. I can't hear either of them.

I catch his gaze as I roll onto my side, ignoring the way my injured wrist is pinned between my body and the ground. As I'm trying to push myself off the ground, Raine returns to my side and eases me off of the injury.

"Careful," she scolds. I keep my eyes focused on my legs and how they aren't wrapped up in casts like they were in the hospital. Raine helps to steady me so that I can sit up without hurting myself, and I let out a shuddering breath. Her touch is ice cold and the spot she touches burns when she retracts her hands. I snap my eyes shut and try to will myself awake, back into the hospital.

'Wake up,' I plead with myself, 'fucking let me wake up already, please oh fuck get me out of here —"

A pair of fingers snap in front of me, making my eyes shoot open at the sound. I look over at Raine, who is giving me an expression of exhausted annoyance. "Listen to me."

I don't know why, but just those three words makes the anger brewing in me snap. With a tone so bitter that it surprises even me, I bite back, "Fucking make me."

There's a very tense silence in which I panic internally when I realize what I just said. Rarely ever do I react like that — if anything I'm the passive aggressive type of person — and one of the rare times I do, it is at Raine Sage. My hands tremble as I clench them into fists, and I see Raine take deep breaths to calm herself. I'm shaking so badly that when she speaks, I actually jump.

"Watch yourself," she says, in a flat tone. "I'm the reason you're alive."

I catch the threat hidden in those words, and nod my head. "... S-Sorry."

The half-elf leans back, looking me over. "How are you feeling?"

'Like shit,' I think to myself. My answer is much different. "Mm ... I'm ... OK."

Raine ignores it. "Any pains?"

Slowly, I shake my head. "No ... " I draw the word out, "um ... just, uh ... w-wrist." I swallow, feeling like my throat is closing in on me. I press my hand against my pelvic area, trying to feel for any broken bones that I had on Earth. Other than my wrist, all the injuries and pain on Earth are gone. Not even a lingering pain to prove they existed.

Raine hums, looking me over. "That's good; your body has already recovered from the purge."

That word again; the purge. The first time she said it I was so upset that I didn't really think over what it meant. All I think of when I hear that word is the movie released and bulimics and I doubt she means either of those.

"Uh ... " I feel awkward, especially after my short outburst just a minute ago. "Wh-What is ... um ... " suddenly the word escapes me. My face flushes in embarrassment, especially since she just said it less than ten seconds ago. After few seconds of stuttering I remember. "A-A purge?"

I pose the question tentatively, because honestly I'm afraid to know what it means.

"A purge is used to flush toxins from the blood and Mana stream," Raine explains with surprising patience. "It requires a medic to enter into the infected stream and use their own Mana to remove it." She pauses. "It's hard on the patient's body, though. The fact that you no longer feel it is good."

A toxin? There was something in my bloodstream? I fidget, and press my fist into my stomach when it starts curling in on itself. "I have ... an infection?"

"Had," Raine corrects. "It's gone now."

" ... Thank you," I whisper, staring into my lap, though I don't feel thankful at all. Maybe when I die in my dream I get to go back home. Maybe the reason I was home was because I temporarily died and was brought back or something. Since I was kept alive, I had to come back.

That has to be the reason. It has to.

Raine's lips tighten in thought. I glance over at her when she speaks. "What did you do to yourself?"

I blink. When I don't respond, Raine elaborates, "The only thing that can cause the infection you had is Mana; your Mana, to be exact. Somehow, you took nearly all of your Mana and shoved it into your bloodstream."

… So that means I did mess up with the stone; I knew something was wrong after that experiment. I hesitate, dropping my eyes to my lap. "I ... um, I-I don't know."

Raine catches my lie immediately. I flush in embarrassment.. I can't tell her what I really did; for one thing, I don't know what she'll do with the information and for another, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be messing with my Mana. Are humans supposed to be able to do that? The game made it seem like only elves and half-elves could use their Mana.

"I … um," I hesitate. "I just … was messing wi-with it. It's … big," I say lamely. "And … it wa-was bothering—bothering me."

"What did you use?"

I tilt my head, and she elaborates with, "To mess with your Mana."

I shrug. "It's … it was a-an accident. Wh-Why do you wanna know, anyways?"

That gets a reaction from her. Raine's eyes narrow and suddenly, I feel like asking that wasn't the best idea. "Only experienced mages should be able to do things like that …" she pauses, before continuing with, "a human can't do it."

I flinch when Raine moves a bit closer. She continues with, "Any possible danger to the Chosen needs to be accounted for."

"Why?" I ask, trying not to cower. Raine is terrifying. I don't even think she's realized that she's been leaning forward in a somewhat menacing fashion.

This time, she looks displeased. "We're going to be keeping tabs on you and your partner." Wait ... "I'm not going to let Colette be killed by a mage we didn't know about."

Raine doesn't notice her slip with Colette's name, and I don't mention it or even hint that I noticed it. I already have enough to deal with and I don't want to somehow set her off on me anymore. Trying to push the conversation in a different direction, I weakly ask, "What do, um; w-we aren't ... Sheena and me —" I'm stuttering again, badly. I don't even care anymore. I'm all around terrified and panicking now. "We'll be gone ... h-how can you put, place —" I suck in a breath and count to three in my head. "Mm ... how can ... are you keeping tabs o-on us?"

That sentence was loaded with so many grammar errors and mistakes that I swear Raine flinches. She is a teacher after all; hearing such bad grammar from someone probably is irking. I know my English teachers despised it.

A deep voice from behind Raine nearly makes me jump out my skin. "You'll be traveling with us."

"Perfect timing," Raine says, with only a hint of the displeasure she held a moment ago. "You may explain the situation to her."

Kratos steps into place beside Raine, and she gets up and heads in another direction, leaving me alone with the beast. I swallow, trying not to look too intimidated. I struggle and force myself to my feet. His aura … it reminds me of Roman. Dangerous.

"I have told your companion this as well," Kratos starts, "do not attempt anything. I will not hesitate to strike you down if you try harming the Chosen One."

I nod my head, my voice caught in my throat. When Kratos' eyes narrow at me I squeak out a, "Y-Yes sir," in hopes of getting him to look away. It doesn't work, but he does stop glaring. "I … wh-what's going on?"

Kratos hums, crossing his arms over his chest. "We have joined forces," is all he says. "Your companion has agreed."

With that he turns and walks away, his cape trailing behind him. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding before my shoulders slump. And I thought Yuan was scary.

… He didn't really explain the situation like Raine told him to, though. Not like I'm going to push for more information, though.

With Raine off somewhere and Kratos getting Lloyd up (I wince when I see the mercenary nudge him not so gently with his foot), I find myself at a loss for what to do. I take a quick look around the campsite, and when I spot a flash of dark hair I hurry towards it. I'm taking quick step hops, bouncing off the balls of my feet and looking terribly awkward as I make my way over to the ninja. Sheena glances up, and although her expression remains the same I can see some of the tension in her shoulders relax when I'm close enough to be seen.

"You're awake," she notes when I reach her. I sit down crisscross and nod, forcing my expression to stay neutral and not express the flutter of relief I feel now that I'm around someone I'm comfortable with.

"As resilient as ever," I mutter. A painful ache shoots through my chest as the memories of my conversation with my brother resurfaces. My throat seems to close on me and as I try not to choke on my own breath. Sheena sighs.

She props her chin in her hand and asks, in a worried voice, "Are you alright?"

I twist my left wrist carefully, trying not to irritate it. "I'm fine," I mutter, because it's true; physically, I'm completely fine other than some aches and pains. Now emotionally ...

Well, emotionally I feel like a goddamn mess. Being put back home with your family and then getting torn out of it when you finally feel safe and like everything is back to normal is a terribly cruel act on its own.

But combated with the emotional agony that comes with the aftereffects of it, it becomes even crueler. Sheena's eyes focus on the wrist that I'm cradling while attempting to find a way to move it without pain. "Is your wrist hurting?"

"Huh?" I glance down and quickly drop it. "Uh, no ... " Sheena gives me a skeptical look, so I quickly continue with, "I-It's really fine; it doesn't hurt anymore, it is just a bit stiff."

Sheena holds the skeptical look for just a moment longer before it slips away and she lets out a heavy breath. "Well, I'm glad you're alright … you really worried me."

I fiddle with my hands as I attempt to straighten out my memories. I can't remember ... well, anything, to be honest. Everything is jumbled up and mixed together and I can't tell what came first and what was last. As I raise my eyes to meet Sheena's, I catch her gaze.

"Um ... uh," I shift, "oh — wh-what did, how, um ... " my thoughts just won't fix themselves into coherent ones. What I want to say makes no sense. However, Sheena just sits there, waiting for me to sort out everything, and once again I feel relief at the action.

OK ... let's try again. I take one deep breath, before starting again. "So um ... w-wh-what happened?"

Sheena looks around, taking a tally of who is awake and how close they are to us before replying, "Well ... a lot. Do you want full details, or a summary?"

"Mm ... a summary should be fine."

Sheena nods, before asking, "What is the last thing you remember?"

'Hell if I know.' I tilt my head, trying to sort through the pieces of memories I have floating around. "Uhh ..." I remember a phone, an IV, mom, dad, siblings —

I force those thoughts out — 'before that, Eden,' I remind myself. Before it all ... there's the bridge, reading in the woods and an extreme wave of dizziness. Poisoning my Mana stream and nearly crashing into trees. Then ... life bottles and Lloyd, I think.

"I was fighting the red boy," I say slowly. I tap my fingers in a pattern on my thighs. "And then, um ... " crap, I forgot the name of it. "The uh, um," I mimic the action of drinking something, "green liquid ... ?"

"A life bottle?" Sheena guesses. I nod quickly, snapping my fingers.

"Yeah — life bottle." I nod to myself. "Anyways, uh, I drank one since I was feeling ... off, again — I guess the first one stopped working — and then it ... well, the room sorta moved, I-I guess." I look up at the sky. The sun is peaking in the sky. "Like, the walls became the floor and I was floating." I scratch the back of my neck, sighing. "Then it was black."

Sheena is silent for a second. "I see ... well after that you collapsed, landing on your wrist —" she motions at my left hand, "and you start to convulse." I blink. A seizure? How weird.

"Then everything stopped. Lloyd, the boy in red, yelled for the other ones to stop," Sheena motions Raine as Kratos dragged Lloyd off somewhere, "and I made an agreement with them in trade for the medic healing you."

I let out a heavy breath. My chest feels tight. Alright; an agreement. You already know this, Eden. Kratos explained it to you. You have no reason to be nervous.

I squirm before voicing my question. "What agreement did you make?"

For once, Sheena is the one who looks uncomfortable and unsure of what to say. This causes my stomach to become a huge mess of anxious knots and discomfort and I start to worry that there was another part of the agreement that Kratos didn't mention. I hold my breath when Sheena opens her mouth and says, "Well, in return for them saving you, I promised to stop our attempts on the Chosen's life."

She says the last part in an almost whisper tone, like she's ashamed of it, and I breathe out the breath I was holding as the anxiety starts to dissipate. OK — that isn't so bad, that's what it is supposed to be. Nothing extra; that's the same vibe I got from the first explanation. Sure, it is a lot earlier than it should be, but it's not a big deal. Everything will be fine.

"But ... what about the mission?" I ask, since I'm supposed to.

Her shoulders slump and a strand of dark hair falls over her shoulder. "I — ... I've been thinking about that since I made the deal," she admits. "But ... seeing you convulsing on the floor was just —" she shakes her head, looking almost distressed, "it was wrong. You looked like you were dying."

I stay silent. It probably wouldn't do much good to tell her that I was dying, if what I assumed from my conversation with Raine is correct. On top of that, I can't help but feel confused; why would Sheena throw the mission to hell for me?

I can't be that important. The mission can be completed without me. But at the same time, the fact that she was willing to do it makes me feel touched.

'Maybe I'm not just a tag-along,' I think to myself. 'Maybe … we're friends. Are we friends?'

No. You're not.

I don't let my thoughts show on my face. Instead, I force a playful smile to my face and tease, "Aw, Sheena does care." I rock back on my tailbone and the pain distracts me from my thoughts. "I'm touched."

Sheena frowns. "Of course I care," she replies, and I blink a few times. "Why would you think otherwise?"

"I—" I go quiet. "… Sorry."

I swallow back a lump of nervousness and ask, "But in all serious—seriousness," I look away and remind myself to play my role like I'm supposed to, "weren't the important — w-wait, no," I shake my head, "wasn't the mission important? Yuan ... he — he'll be mad, right?"

Sheena's eyebrows furrow as she goes silent. After a brief pause, she slowly says, "Maybe there is another way to complete the mission." Her eyes trail over to the Colette, who is talking to Raine about something. "I mean, it can't hurt to try."

I look up at the sky. "You're right."

Another short silence. "The mercenary ... " I pause, "he, um, he said we're traveling with them." I crack my knuckles. "Is it true?"

An almost sheepish look paints across Sheena's face. "Well," I lean forward, "yeah it is."

I scratch the skin around my Exsphere. "Well ... " I start, "i-it could be worse, I guess."

Sheena looks away for a second, before I catch her gaze and blink at how serious she looks. "Are you sure you're OK?"

"I don't hurt."

Sheena shakes her head, making me frown. "You seem like you're bothered by something."

Her words make me suck in a breath and roll my shoulder back. I guess I'm not doing a very good job at hiding my turmoil and anger. I hear Sheena sigh.

"I'm sorry," I look up, "I shouldn't have gotten you involved in this."

"... I got myself involved," I reply, somewhat confused. "I ... I, y'know, forced myself in." Feeling vulnerable all of a sudden, I draw one leg up and rest my cheek on my knee. "And ... I'm the reason that this happened. So ... you don't have to apologize for anything."

"You're just a kid." I glance up at that. "If I had protested, back in that meeting, then maybe you wouldn't have gotten injured."

Sheena looks conflicted, and I pull my cheek away. "I — ... " my voice falls short, unable to finish that thought. Even if Sheena had protested, I still would've found a way to get here, even if it required me to travel all the way to that gate by Altamira and wait until a full moon. But I can't exactly say that to her.

The ninja lets out a frustrated groan and I hear her mutter something that sounds like, "I suck at this," and have to bite back a smile despite it all.

"If you'd left me, then Zelos probably would've found me again," I joke in an attempt to lighten the mood. It works a bit, because although she doesn't smile I see the corners of Sheena's lips twitch.

"Hmm, yeah," she agrees, "I guess you're safer here than anywhere near him."

I notice Lloyd and Kratos are still gone and all of a sudden I feel like moving. I need to distract myself, and the best distraction from my emotions is training. It's something external to focus on.

"C-Can we train?" I blurt out, feeling nervous despite the fact that training with Sheena is pretty routine now. "Please?"

Her eyebrows raise. "Are you up to it?" She asks, looking skeptical. I nod so she shrugs and agrees to it. Raine's eyes are fixed on us as we move a bit farther; close enough to still be in sight, but far enough that no one besides me is going to get injured.

"Just tell me if you need to stop," Sheena says, still a bit unsure, "because I'm not going to go easy on you." We fall into our respective stances, mine somewhat sloppier than usual, and I take a deep breath.

I won't go into details, but Sheena was serious when she said she wouldn't go easy on me. We do our usual practices for a good while before moving onto spars. For probably the fourth time I stumble, but this time I don't fall. With my dominant hand injured I can't punch (though, I'm not too good at punching anyways) leaving only my feet and right hand to use. I keep instinctively using my left hand to catch myself and it ends up taking the brunt of the fall.

For a split second, Sheena hesitates, and I take advantage of it. My right fist aims at her face, and although she catches it in her palm her eyes glint in amusement. I aim a kick at her side but she releases my fist and jumps away before it can make contact. I'm breathing heavily now but at least I don't feel like I'm going to fall over anymore.

"Let's stop," Sheena calls out from her spot. I frown, feeling somewhat dejected, but reluctantly comply. When I meet her halfway I get a surprisingly genuine looking smile. "You're getting better."

"Really?" I can't keep myself from grinning; a compliment like that, from Sheena especially, makes me feel so ... happy. My stomach feels like it's burning, and I practically jump in joy.

It's stupid, but I've developed a huge respect for Sheena. Like ... she's become someone to look up to; someone you just want to impress. Almost like an older sibling who you admire and look up to.

An older sibling ...

I turn and see Lloyd, in only his tank top and red pants, heading towards us. I turn fully so that I'm facing him.

"You're awake," he points out. For a second I think, 'How does he know my name?' before I remember that I gave him it. I nod my head, looking over at Sheena. She just shrugs at me.

I'm not too sure how to talk to Lloyd, honestly. I mean, how do you hold a conversation with someone who a day ago you were trying to kill?

Well, not kill, but ... well, someone who you convinced that you were trying to kill them I guess. Even if, by chance, I had won against Lloyd, I couldn't and wouldn't have killed him. And even if Sheena could, and was about to successfully kill Colette, I would stop her.

But of course they don't know that.

"I, um, y-yeah ..." I mutter. Very nice, Eden. Very nice.

Lloyd is all sweaty, so I'm assuming he just came back from training with Kratos. His hair is drooping a bit, and when he tries to fix it some of it falls over the side of his face, causing me to do a double take when I realize how similar he looks to Kratos with his hair like that.

My eyes dart behind him at Kratos and quickly jump back to Lloyd's face. "How's your, uh," he motions at my wrist, "your wrist? Do you feel alright?"

I shrug and shove it into the pocket of my jumper. "It uh, well ... it feels fine?" I'm not sure how to react to the question; it makes sense for Sheena to ask, but not for Lloyd.

"I'm glad." I'm taken back by that. Lloyd looks sheepish as he says, "I could tell something was really off when we were fighting, so when you collapsed out of nowhere and started shaking I thought I'd done something."

I don't know how to respond to that. "Anyways, though, breakfast is ready, so feel free to come and get some; Genis is a really good cook." Then, he takes off, back towards the campsite. I just blink, totally confused by that.

"Weird," I say to Sheena as we follow after him. She nods in agreement.

I wave off the offer for food and get a few stares as a result which makes me feel uncomfortable. Raine fixes me with a weird look, before locking gazes with Genis and shaking her head. He shrugs and gives what would've been mine to Lloyd.

I decide to try to find my bag while everyone is busy. Sheena points me in the general direction and after a minute or so of searching I find it. Once I've shrugged it on I adjust the straps and try to find my sword. However, I don't see it, and I'm filled with worry. I hope they didn't just leave it in the Mausoleum or something. Eventually I give up on looking, after a minute of searching, and plop down beside Sheena.

"Where's my sword?" I ask quietly. She's staring warily at what Genis gave her, as if it's poisoned or something.

"The mercenary," she responds. When I raise my eyes to him we lock gazes and I recoil, immediately looking away. I have no idea how I'm going to get it back if Kratos has it.

I blow out a breath, whispering, "I guess I'm going to become only a hands on fighter now."

Eventually, after watching Lloyd scarf down his food, Sheena decides that it isn't poison and reluctantly tries some of it. I get up, lingering a bit farther away so I can sit down. Lloyd is adamantly talking to Colette and Genis, making it difficult to really think. After taking my bag off I remove a book that I haven't read in awhile. It's some sort of watered down history book.

I'm deep into the tale of how the Goddess Martel defeated the Desians when Raine stops in front of me with an expression I haven't seen on her face before. Slowly I lower my book to my lap, using my finger as a bookmark as I shut it.

"Uh," I stand up, book still in hand, "d-do ... you need something?"

"You won't be able to travel without proper nutrients," Raine starts. "It would be a shame for you to die from malnutrition after you survive an infected Mana stream just because you refuse to eat."

I furrow my eyebrows, offended. "I'm not," I reply to her implication, straightening my shoulders from their slouch, "I just ... I-I have a small appetite," I finish, feeling awkward. For once, I'm telling the truth to Raine, though I'm so surprised that I probably look like I'm lying. Raine sighs, pressing her hand to her face as if she's conflicted.

"Very well," she finally says. I sigh in relief, biting back the irritation I feel. I slip my thumb from my book and place it back in my bag."However, I expect you to be responsible and eat when you are hungry."

"Y-Yes ma'm, I-I will," I murmur as she heads back to get her things together. At least she didn't threaten to force feed me. Kratos has stamped out the fire (or was it Genis? I didn't see) and everyone is getting their things together. Still too intimidated to ask Kratos for my sword back, I trot over to Sheena.

I shuffle in place, waiting for Sheena to finish what she's doing, and when she looks over at me I ask, "Um, Sheena, can you ... uh, ask the mercenary guy for my sword? I-I need it back."

Her eyebrows furrow. "Why can't you?"

Feeling nervous, I scratch at the skin around my Exsphere and rock back on my heels. "Ahh ... I dunno, I just can't." I then shrug, and offer, "I guess ... well, I don't know." I roll my shoulder blade back, before finally admitting, "He — he's just ... scary. I'm afraid he's going to ... gut me."

I cup the back of my neck with my hands, dropping my eyes to my feet and feeling mortified at how childish I'm coming across. Sheena is silent and as I'm trying to push down the embarrassment she sighs, telling me that she'll ask. Right before everyone regroups, Sheena heads over to where Kratos is and asks in the quickest yet most polite way for my weapon back. He grunts but hands it to Sheena, who gives it to me when she comes back. I thank her quietly, strapping it onto my hip.

When the group departs, I stay near the back. Initially Sheena was with me, but Colette quickly waved both of us over; I was too reluctant to go, leaving Sheena to deal with the blonde girl and me to my thoughts. I can tell, just from her posture, that Colette's friendliness is making her uncomfortable.

ithout Sheena to talk to, I feel awkward. The group has sort of split up, with Genis and Lloyd in the middle near Colette and Sheena and Kratos behind me. Raine is leading.

I'm caught up in my thoughts, so when Lloyd falls into step beside me I don't even notice. In fact, it isn't until I hear a, "Hey," that I look up and realize he's there.

"Uh, h-hello," I reply, attempting to subtly take a small step away from Lloyd. He's too close for comfort. I do a wide sweep of the group, to see where Genis went since Lloyd came to me, and see him with his sister.

There's an awkward silence that neither of us really know how to break. The silence makes me feel like I'm going to fall apart, so I quickly say, "Uh, y-you're a sword user?"

Of course I say something stupid like that. Of course he's a sword user Eden; you've only seen him use them twice, once against you, and he has two strapped to his waist.

Lloyd blinks from the abruptness. "Oh — yeah! I do."

"W-Why two, though?" I question. I can't really imagine fighting with two swords; wouldn't they hit each other a lot?

Lloyd grins. "Two times the power."

I give him a weird look, and can't help saying, "Zero times two is still zero."

Immediately after saying it my face gets red in morbid embarrassment. I don't even know him and I'm already insulting him. Of course, I wasn't being serious, but ... Lloyd might not realize that.

"Huh?" His eyebrows furrow. "Hey — what are you implying?"

I nervously laugh. I actually laugh at his somewhat offended and confused tone, unable to stop myself. Out of nowhere, Genis appears at Lloyd's other side and says, "She's right though Lloyd," while looking somewhat smug. "You can't have two times the power if you don't have any power to begin with."

Lloyd bristles and I manage to stem my giggles. I leave the pair's side and hurry over to Sheena, who is attempting to keep up with Colette's rapid chatter. When I step into place beside the ninja, Colette waves.

"Hi Eden!" I wave back at her, and give Sheena a sideways grin when she narrows her eyes at me.

When we break for evening, after two small breaks during the day, I slump to the ground, feeling physically and mentally exhausted. Going from a group of one other person to five people (six if you include Sheena) is a big change, especially when two of those people are ... well, Lloyd and Colette. When I mention this to Sheena she makes a noise that is a weird cross between sounding like a laugh and an insulting sound.

"You really are bad at conversations," she says.

I press a hand against my eyes, trying to forget about how awkward I was around the two of them. "Don't remind me."

Sheena leans back and glances at the darkening sky. "You didn't seem so jittery when I met you." I shove my index finger into the back of my boot to fix the heel of it and then grind it into the ground to make sure it's actually fixed.

"I wasn't," I admit. "It was a different situation then … different than this, at least."

Very different. I was still in the 'this-is-a-dream' stage, and I only had to deal with one person, and Sheena is a lot different of a person than Lloyd and Colette are. "Besides," I start, "I still mess up wh-when talking to you."

"True," Sheena agrees. Then she smiles teasingly. "Stumb."

I drop my face into my hands at that. "Please don't," I moan, resisting the urge to just collapse from embarrassment. 'Stumb' was a word that came out of my mouth when my mouth said 'stupid' and my brain said 'dumb'. I've tried to forget about that conversation many, many times.

Worst thing about it, though, is that I've done that so many times when talking to Sheena that she could probably give twenty different examples. I'm glad she doesn't — I don't think I could take it right now.

When we're called over for food, I head towards the group only to be stopped when Sheena says, "Eden." I give her a quizzical look and she continues with, "Earlier you said you felt off before we even engaged them —" she motions at the group and I blink. "Why didn't you tell me? We could've held back until you felt better."

I sigh, feeling usually guilty. I would've ended up like that eventually from what Raine said, so really it's good that I didn't tell her, but ...

"I just, well ... " I blow out a breath, pushing back a piece of hair that fell into my eye. "I dunno. Sorry."

Sheena crosses her arms over her chest. "I'm serious, Eden."

"I know, I know," I mutter, hugging myself around the waist. I can't exactly tell her that the reason I was like that was because I was fucking around with the Mana in my body; I already had to tell Raine that and I've already learned that I should not be able to. "I'm sorry; I really am."

After a drawn out second, Sheena relents. "Just ... don't do it again, OK?" She steps ahead of me, "We're friends, so let me help you." She trails off. "You can't do everything on your own."

My stomach grows tight when she says that, and I look away, feeling a mix of embarrassment and happiness at the fact that Sheena considers me to be a friend; not a tag along, or a person to put up with, or even an annoying little kid, but a friend. I mean, I've considered her to be my friend, but I didn't really think she saw me as her friend.

"OK," I finally say. I skitter after her as she heads towards the group, and suddenly feel nervous. I don't know what to say, how to act; I'm just going to make a fool of myself even more if that is even possible. Traveling all day with them was difficult, but not impossible, because I could just run forward or somewhere else if I felt awkward. Now I don't really have a choice but to be around them all.

I grab onto the back of Sheena's outfit, making her jolt in surprise, and when she turns to look at me I try not to look too anxious. I wish I had her confidence; she blends right into the group, like she's been there forever. The only things that give away that she hasn't is how Kratos and Raine stare suspiciously at her and the way she hesitates when talking to them.

Although she doesn't tell me to let go, Sheena looks uncomfortable, so despite my own discomfort I release the cloth and just trail behind her. I take the bowl Genis offers me and slump against a nearby rock, breathing out a heavy breath.

'It'll be fine, it'll all be OK. You'll be back home, in the hospital, soon enough. Relax and play your part.'

I use these thoughts to ease my nerves. They help, and when I finally look at the group of people I nod to myself. I can do this; I can make it through this dream. And when I do, I'll never have to see any of this again.