Author's Note: What's up, y'all? Being sick sucks. It's good for the muse, though as is helping NCIS She-Demon with her own IPS story. Once I meet the site requirements, I think I'll become an official Beta reader. It'll be good practice for my future English students. Anyway, here's a short but sweet update. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"
"Mare, we have to tell him." Marshall insisted for the tenth time as she paced the empty conference room.
"I know that! I mean come on…it's Stan! The world has him to blame for us meeting in the first place! We can't not tell him but…I don't want him to treat me like a fragile little porcelain doll. Not to mention desk duty…" she trailed off with an actual shudder.
"Let me get this straight. You're going to have an at least 7 pound baby sitting on your bladder, swelling you up like a hot air balloon, kicking you in the ribs, making you crave crazy foods and making you even more homicidal than you usually are and you're only dreading desk duty?"
"Desk duty is useless! Pregnancy is not! Besides, all that shit will be worth it in the end." she replied dismissively, making him shake his head in fond exasperation.
Even if he had 6 lifetimes with this madwoman, he'd never come close to understanding her! Sure, he could get the basics and even some pertinent details (being best friends and partners for so long had its perks) but overall, Mary Shannon was harder to figure out than the motivations of politicians…
Which is why we've decided to stop trying to figure her out and just love her the way she is., his inner Greek chorus said sagely.
I know we did but you know how much I love puzzles. Mare's the ultimate puzzle…
Fucking right, she is and that's what makes loving her even more fun. Confusing at times but fun…
With a nod of agreement, he snagged her wrist on her next pass and smoothly maneuvered her into the chair next to him.
"You're making me dizzy, love and not in the good way." he leered, making her slug him lightly.
" I thought you waited until after dark to abuse him." Eleanor quipped as she came in bearing caffeine and pastry.
"It's after dark someplace and he likes it when I hit him."
"Actually…"
"So, are you and Stan still doing that whole 'wait 20 seconds and then come in' gimmick?" Mary plowed on, ignoring his interjection. "You need to give it up. Cowboy and I can't say shit about love connections and everyone knows that you're together."
"It's not about denial, anymore. It's about discretion. Something that you lack sorely." Eleanor retorted primly.
"Damn straight." Mary confirmed bluntly, ending the daily ritual of sniping.
Marshall shook his head again and waved at Stan as he came in exactly 20 seconds later.
"They done?" he asked him with a nod towards their women.
"For now. Um, Stan, I have to tell you something. Well, we have to tell you something and…"
"Cowboy finally knocked me up and you'll take my Glock from me when my water breaks. No, after the delivery because I'm probably gonna shoot him between contractions." Mary declared with no mercy, causing a rather impressive spit take from him.
"Mary!" he scolded as he patted a now coughing Stan on the back.
"What? I won't shoot to kill!"
"If you were going to tell him like that, then why the hell were you freaking out earlier?"
"I'm telling someone who I consider my father that I'm knocked up! That's a justifiable freak out!"
"You…you're pregnant? You and Marshall are having a baby?" Stan wheezed as he sat down next to Mary, clasping her hands.
"Yeah, we are and you're Grandpa Stan whether you like it or not. Eleanor can be the grandma as long as she doesn't turn them into a pod person or a spook."
Stan blinked and then slowly, a shaky smile lit up his face. Marshall sighed with relief as Mary let him hug her and he accepted a pumpkin muffin from a grinning Eleanor.
Now, to tell his family…
