Sorry this has taken so long, soooo busy with everything at the moment.
Enjoy anyway


Kakuzu stood before Sasori and Deidara, snorting in laughter.
Deidara looked exactly like Ino Yamanaka from the purple clothes and fish nets to the blonde hair and makeup.
The makeover was perfect.
But Deidara wouldn't go down if he wasnt able to argue about something.
His clay had been confiscated for fear of him using it in Konoha which of course had pissed him right off.

"Give it the fuck back, Sasori no Danna! This is so fucking unfair, un!"

Kakuzu had smirked and waved Hidans scythe in front of Deidara, shutting him right up.

"If Hidan can do it without his oh so precious scythe then you can do it without your oh so precious clay.

Deidara bit his lip and fought back his urge to glare at the miser for the pain he was being put through.
Sure Hidan had his scythe taken, but he didn't have to dress as a GIRL!
He had long ago tried to escape Sasori and Kakuzu but had realized he was at a disadvantage.
His danna had loosely placed chakra strings to his limbs and Kakuzus skin was rippling menacingly, the threads in his body daring Deidara to try and run.
In the end there was nothing to do but accept his fate and try to have fun (if that was possible)
It should be easy for him, really.
If anyone in the Akatsuki could lie themselves out of a situation, it was Deidara.
Sasori and Kakuzu were confident he would be fine.

"What if I lose my temper and kill someone, yeah?"

Kakuzu took a threatening step forward and he smirked from under his mask, shaking his head.
He knew what the blonde was trying to do, he was desperately trying to make the miser and the puppet master rethink their decision.
No matter how good he was, Deidara couldn't lie his way out of this one.

"Hidan hasn't killed anyone yet and he has been in there for nearly two days."

Deidara groaned.
If that was true then he really did have no way out of this.
Although it surprised him greatly that the priest was able to restrain himself for so long.
Sasori was obviously thinking along the same lines, though he said nothing.
Instead, he pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to his partner.
The words 'Map of The Village Hidden in the Leaf' was typed in neat letters next to the printing company's logo.
Deidara took it with a sigh.
Oh he was in trouble.
He probably wouldn't even get past the front gates.


He couldn't believe he actually got past the front gates.
The gates keepers, who he recognized as Kotetsu and Izumo gave him a smile and a wave as he passed through.
Great security they have here…
Kakuzu had mentioned to him that Hidan had planned on taking the Kyuubi child to the training grounds that morning and so, this was Deidaras current destination.
Not that the stupid map was helping at all.
Deidara was sure he had walked past the same bathhouse three times already.
He growled at the map in frustration, Tobi and Sasori had always been the map readers during their travels, Deidara himself usually being the one flying them in whatever direction he was pointed in.
Despite his otherwise uselessness, Tobi was actually a brilliant map reader.
Deidara wasn't.

He tilted the map and scowled at it, not noticing the footsteps casually walking up behind him

"Hi Ino."

Deidara jumped in fright.
The map fell to the ground and he whirled around to find out who had startled him.
He had fully expected to see ANBU black ops standing with their arms crossed and smirking under their animalistic masks.
Instead and to his relief, he saw Team 7.
He scowled at them and bent slightly to pick up the map.
Dusting it off, he was exceedingly irritated when the pink haired girl, Sakura leaned right over his shoulder and glanced at the map.
She was so close that he could feel her breath on his cheeks.
Normally he wouldn't mind a woman being so close and breathing into his ear, but today he was supposed to be a girl and he didn't need a growing lump under his skirt to dispute that fact.
That and he was not in the mood to be hanging around such an annoying person.

"Huh? This is a map of Konoha? Why are you reading that?"

Deidara inwardly smirked, time for his amazing lying skills to kick in.
The lie rolled off his tongue smoothly, as if he had been rehearsing the same lines for a week and was just waiting for the chance to say it.

"Do you remember all those new apartments went up about a year ago?"

Sakura nodded.

"Well the map of Konoha had to be rewritten because of it so Tsunade-sama asked me to look around and make sure everything has been drawn correctly. Although to be honest, I don't think it is. I cant find a damn thing, uhn…"

He did his best to suppress his 'uns' but the results sounded more like 'uhh…nn'
Some speech impediments just weren't meant to be repressed.
Sakura began to talk to him about various things, mentioning 'Kakashi-sensei' at one point which snapped Deidara back into reality.
That was the whole reason he was here, how could he forget about Hidan!?
The blonde glanced at Team 7s superior and watched him closely.
He seemed to be just day dreaming and staring into space, not seeming to bother much about the conversation Deidara was having with Sakura – not that he really cared either.
Suddenly he seemed to snap out of his trance and watched what he thought were the two 'girls' in mild interest.

"Ino? Could I get one of those maps? I'll check around as well."

Deidara scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.
He didn't have any more maps, only this one that Kakuzu and Sasori had given him and there was no way he was giving it up.
Sorry Hidan, you are going to have to make do without one.

He mentally smirked at being able to get back at the priest for once.
Deidara slowly and mockingly replied,

"Sorry Kakashisensei, I only have one copy, un."

Hidan/Kakashi shrugged his shoulders, not seeming too fussed either way.

"Hey are you feeling okay, Ino?"

Deidara looked at Sakura in surprise and furrowed his brows in annoyance as the girl wandered over and felt his forehead.
What the hell is this bitch's problem, yeah?

Sakura tilted her head and frowned, answering his silent question.

"You voice is a bit deeper and sounds kind of scratchy. And you have kind of been grunting at the end of your sentences, are you getting a cold?"

Deidara coughed into his gloved hand and went along with it, the lie flowing off his tongue like liquid.
He nodded and tried to put on a pained expression.

"The back of my throat has been sore the last few days, it'll probably blow over though."

Deidara watched as Hidan/Kakashi nodded and tilted his head.
Sakura seemed to accept the lie and clicked her tongue sympathetically.
A cold had been going around lately and it was never the best thing to get on the end of.
Deidara grinned inwardly at being able to get away with two lies in two minutes.
Before he knew it, Naruto was right in his face, grinning devilishly in a way that made him nervous.

"Hey, why don't you come train with us? A bit of exercise helps clear the airways. We are going to the training field now."

Deidara glanced between them all and frowned.
He didn't want to be dragged to the training ground because more often than not, he would have to fight and his fighting style contrasted greatly with the real Ino's.
Before he could even get out a lie, the quiet boy called Sai stepped forward and grasped his wrist in a gentle but firm hold.
He tugged Deidara down the road he had been about to follow on the map and smiled at him in a way that was obviously very fake.

"If it makes you feel better then it's what you should do, beautiful."

Deidara felt himself go red with anger and embarrassment.
He knew without a doubt that he wanted to kill this boy.
The terrorist glanced over his shoulder to see Naruto bouncing along behind them merrily while the pink haired girl growled under her breath and the masked Hidan avoided her.


Once they had gotten to the training ground, Sakura had rooted around in her pack and pulled out a pill like object, handing it to Deidara and telling him that eating it will make him feel better.
He took it grudgingly, not particularly wanting to eat the foul smelling ball but feeling obliged to with the pink haired girl glaring down on him.
Deidara didn't feel safe to spit it out and start gagging until she was well out of earshot.
Those things were poison…
'Kakashi' had glanced down at him and appeared amused, probably knowing that they tasted disgusting.
Deidara had snarled at him for not stopping Sakura from feeding it to him but he seemed to not care.
He had to stop and wonder, is this really Hidan?
The masked man had been acting so cool and calm – something Hidan struggled to do on a daily basis.
Deidara began to bite his nails with the thought that maybe the real Kakashi had returned and Hidan was locked away somewhere.
It made sense considering the way the man was acting, he barely spoke a word and didn't appear aggressive in anyway.
Deidara sat on a log next to him as he leant against a tree.
He subtly brushed aside his fringe and closed his right eye, opening his left.
The left eye was impervious to genjutsu and it told him that there was none hanging around the mysterious man.
He bit his lip and watched him closely.
There was once or twice that the masked man glanced back at him but he didn't say a word or even seem to mind.
He doesn't even recognize me…

He was so caught up in his staring, that Deidara jumped with fright at the kunai that sailed right past him and hit the tree right next to Hidan/Kakashis head.
The masked mans visible eye narrowed as it glanced between the kunai to the laughing blonde boy on the field.
Deidara blinked at the reaction.

Wow… He barely even moved, Hidan would have gone nutcase on that kid.

The masked man bent over with a sigh and picked up an acorn that had fallen before throwing it with all his might at the boy on the field.
Naruto let out a cry of surprise and pain as it knocked him over and bruised his stomach.
Deidaras eyes widened nervously when no shouts and curses of irritation spewed from the masked mans mouth.
Hidan sure has changed… God please tell me this is the real Hidan… I can't even tell…

"Is there something wrong, Ino?"

Deidara started, not realizing that the man he had been staring at was watching him too.
Okay okay, a chance to find out if it's really him or not.
If this is Hidan he will tell me when he realizes I am here, if not then he won't say anything.
With a sheepish smile, Deidara replied,

"No nothing Kakashi-sensei. You seem a bit different is all, yeah."

The masked man raised his eyebrow but didn't move for a second.
Deidara felt the mouths under his gloves grinding their teeth nervously.
Turning to face him more, the man evasively replied,

"Do I?"

Deidara paused and shook his head with a smile that told the masked man that the topic had been dropped.
That didn't tell him anything, it could be Hidan just being a dick…
Oh god, please tell me this isn't the real Kakashi… It's ok, yeah… I just have to wait and see what he says and does from now on…
Deidaras attention was drawn to Naruto who dashed over to them and attempted to tackle the man he was inspecting.
With astonishing speed, Hidan/Kakashi jumped out of the way, leaving Naruto to faceplant the tree he had been leaning against.
Unable to help himself, Deidara snickered.

"Urgh… Kakashi-sensei you weren't supposed to move-dattebayo…"

Hidan/Kakashi gave him the peace sign before helping him up.
Deidara watched this exchange quietly, his anxiety growing.
Hidan wouldn't help someone who tried to tackle him up… Nor would he be polite while doing so…
What's going on…?
The mysterious man turned to him and grinned.

"How about you go out and spar now, Ino? You look better, there is no reason to stay sitting down anymore."

Deidara spluttered in shock and surprise.
He couldn't fight! His style was too different.
He couldn't even PRETEND to mimic the mind transfer jutsu.
Oh this was Hidan alright, and he was being a complete ass.
The blonde glanced up to the sensei, silently begging that he take back what he was saying.
Anything but fight, anything bu-

"You look like a pig, come on and fight us Ino-pig."

Deidara froze.
Pig…
That was the word that Sasori no danna called him when he had first explained his art.
'Pig' was not a word that he enjoyed being called…


So basically the same as last chapter but from Deidaras POV.
Sorry updating is taking so long, Ill get around to them haha!
Hope you enjoyed.
Leave your rates, reviews, complaints and excuses after the beep!
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ep