Chapter 12
Sherlock was grateful for the wall that was he was leaning upon; it was the only thing holding him upright. He couldn't seem to sort the data that was threating to overwhelm him. He hadn't been expecting sexual advances from John, but even more confusing was the way his body had reacted to the stimuli. Sherlock may have been at a loss when it came to intimate relationships, but he was sure that ones first time being brought to climax by another should not be broadcast not only to one's enemy, but also to one's brother. He was sure Mycroft had seen what had transpired between John and himself, but he could not bring himself to feel embarrassed. The only thing he could feel was an overwhelming, all-consuming confusion. He felt adrift and alone, John had shattered him and left him there to pick up the pieces. This wasn't how this was meant to go. Sherlock was always in control of every situation he walked into; he had made sure of that since that day on the roof when Moriarty had so easily stripped him of every aspect of control. He knew he needed to follow John, but he couldn't seem to move. His limbs felt heavy and his brain was blissfully scrambled. On an intellectual level he knew this was just a side effect of the oxytocin and endorphins produced by orgasm, but he still didn't understand the tightness in his chest and the flutter in his stomach. He was experiencing an emotional reaction he had been unaware he was capable of having.
He tried to steady his breath and get his brain back online, but he could only form one concrete thought: John…John…John. Finally another thought pushed its way into his brain: John on the streets of London alone, high, and probably just as confused as me. This thought was enough to get Sherlock moving. He pushed himself off the wall, took one last look at the camera and, with a veneer of confidence he was in no way feeling, exited the way he came.
To his surprise he didn't have to go searching for John. The doctor had found his way out of the underground bunker and was now waiting for Sherlock in the alleyway.
"Sherlock, I'm sorry… I don't… I can't."
"John it's fine."
"No it's not fine. I just attacked you in there, I couldn't control… I ca…"
Sherlock walked up to John and kissed him mid-sentence. He had to keep John from apologizing, for some reason kissing him seemed like the most logical way. It was a chaste kiss, just a brush of lips and a promise of something more. Sherlock pulled back and rested his forehead against John's.
"My dearest John. I am not angry about what we did. I do have to admit it was unexpected. As you know, I'm not… what I mean to say is, I haven't… God why is this so difficult?"
Behind them, someone cleared their throat and Sherlock knew it was his brother without turning around. This was not the place or the time for this conversation anyhow. John tensed in his arms, Sherlock knew the drug was wearing off, but John was still in fight mode. It surprised the detective when John addressed Mycroft first.
"Did you know?" John asked as he stepped around Sherlock and marched up to the older Holmes. Sherlock turned around and moved towards his brother.
"Of course I knew, John. I am sorry that I was forced to deceive you, but it was impera…" John moved with blinding speed as his fist connected with Mycroft's jaw. Sherlock quickly grabbed John, but unlike earlier, John didn't put up a fight.
Mycroft had stumbled backwards, but had somehow stayed on his feet. Sherlock was slightly confused by the look on his brother's face. If he didn't know any better he'd say there was compassion in Mycroft's eyes, and it was pointed towards John.
"What is with you Holmes brothers? You think you can just toy with people's lives. You are both utter bastards. Let go of me Sherlock." John's voice was low and full of anger. Sherlock had only heard it like that once before, when John had threatened to shoot the Golem for him. He quickly released John and took a step back.
"John, please, we need to get off the street I'm not sure what Moran's next move is, but let's remember the man is a sniper and is determined to kill you. We can talk about this back at Mycroft's."
"No, Sherlock, we are going back to Baker Street, without you, Mycroft, and you are going to tell me everything. I mean it Sherlock, I want the complete story. So help me God, if I think you are leaving anything out, I will walk away from all of this. Is that understood?"
Sherlock was stunned into silence, but he managed to nod.
"We'll take Mycroft's car, won't we Mycroft?"
Sherlock had the feeling he would look back at this moment quite frequently. Cap. John Watson, M.D. had rendered both Holmes brothers mute. This moment would go down in history. Well it should, anyhow.
