A/N: So, we have just about come full circle. Getting very close to the end now but I think there is one more chapter after this and then possibly an epilogue because I can't possibly stop on 13 chapters! I never expected to write a story that was quite this long but when inspiration strikes I suppose you just have to go along with it. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews, they really do make all the difference.
Disclaimer as per first chapter.
Rating T
Chapter 12
"Winklers-Buchhandlung"
Max stared up at the faded sign above the once busy little bookshop. Paint was flaking off the dirt smeared window frames and he couldn't for the life of him understand why Georg had asked him to come here.
He took the letter that Georg had given him out of his breast pocket and unfolded it checking the address once again.
"MAKE SURE YOU GIVE THE DOOR A FIRM PUSH." Georg had written in bold letters, under the address.
Returning the paper to his pocket, Max positioned his shoulder against the door and whilst turning the handle he pushed as hard as he could. The door flew open and Max made quite a spectacular entrance. After cursing Georg and recovering his composure he brushed off his trousers, which had become dusty after colliding with the counter top then he slowly looked around.
There were dust covered boxes everywhere and books strewn across the tiled floor. Max shook his head. It was so sad to see what must once have been a fine establishment, looking so tired and unloved.
"Georg. Are you in here?" Max shouted, disturbing some settled dust as he did so. He looked around a little more, weaving his way through the bookshelves but still he couldn't see his friend. He winced as the sun streamed slanted rays of light through the grimy window. Dust hung in the air, illuminated like fireflies in the golden beams.
There was a small door at the back which he assumed must lead to some stairs that would take him to the rooms above the shop itself. He wasn't sure that the door would be unlocked but pushing down the handle he discovered that it opened quite easily, unlike the main door.
Max craned his neck and looked up the steep steps noticing that there was a dim light coming from one of the rooms. Holding onto the bannister, he carefully made his way up the stairs. Peering into the semi-lit room he discovered that it was a fully furnished study, complete with desk, chair and bookshelf. There was still no sign of Georg and so he continued along the short corridor. There was a small kitchen on the right and a bedroom to his left, then at the very end a further door which was shut.
Knowing that Georg must in the room behind the door he knocked firmly and awaited a reply.
"Max, what took you so long."
Max recognised the sound of his friend's voice and yet at the same time he didn't sound like himself at all. He hurriedly opened the door and was relieved to see Georg sitting on a small settee by quite a cosy fire. His trousers were crumpled and his shirt creased. Since leaving the Villa three days ago it was obvious that Georg hadn't shaved as he looked particularly dishevelled and his hair was far from perfectly groomed.
"My God, Georg, you look awful," Max stated bluntly.
"It's very nice to see you too, Max," Georg replied sarcastically.
There were blankets on the floor and at least one empty bottle of liquor. Georg held a glass in his hand and he turned back to look at the fire.
"It's a bit early for the hard stuff isn't it?" Max was concerned by what he saw.
"What does it matter. One of the advantages of being here is that there is no one to even give a damn whether I'm drinking or not," Georg spat.
"Hmmm… and why exactly are we here?" Max's curiosity was almost unbearable. Ever since receiving Georg's letter he had wondered exactly why his friend had felt the need to flee his home making a feeble excuse for his absence.
"I needed some time to think, away from… everyone."
"Yes, but why here exactly." Max twisted his head to look around the drab sitting room. "Does it belong to someone you know?"
"Ahhhh, yes it does, Max." Georg waved his finger at his friend in a very uncontrolled manner. "And you know the owner too, very well in fact."
Max was beginning to worry about the state of his friend's mind. It was obvious that he had been drinking too much but he hoped that was all it was.
When Max didn't reply, Georg flung a large brown envelope at him.
"There, read it," Georg ordered, as if he were back on one of his boats, barking orders out to his crew.
Minutes passed as Max scanned the document not once but twice trying to comprehend what it was that he was reading.
"I… I don't understand. This is a legal document; it states that you are the owner of this shop, Georg. What could you possibly want with a bookshop?" The situation was no clearer to Max and he looked bemused towards Georg for some answers.
"Several months ago, someone else asked me that very question and you know, I realise now what a foolish and presumptuous thing it was for me to do. I am a man who has always been used to getting his own way, but the one thing that you just cannot ever do with any success is buy someone's affections. I've come to learn that the hard way."
"You're really not making any sense, Georg. Are you sure you're feeling alright?" Max was becoming increasingly concerned by his friend's erratic behaviour.
Georg nodded and returned to his drink.
"Was it Elsa, that asked you about the shop. Is that why you and her have been so cool with each other lately?"
"Oh ho, no, it wasn't Elsa. She has no idea and I'd prefer it to stay that way. She's already had more than enough to say to me about this whole stupid mess."
"Well if it wasn't Elsa, then who?"
"It was Maria," Georg sighed as he rubbed his temple.
"Fraulein Maria… your children's Governess? Georg, I really don't understand. You've only just met her a few weeks ago. How could she possibly have known about this shop?"
"She knows about the shop Max, because I bought it for her." Georg searched his friend's eyes. He wasn't sure what he expected to see there. Shock perhaps. Maybe even disgust. But all he found was confusion.
For once, Max Detweiler was almost speechless. Had his friend completely taken leave of his senses.
"What? You mean you knew her before she became one of your servants?"
"Yes, that is, I didn't know her in the biblical sense," Georg snorted at the irony of his statement.
"Really, Georg, it's not like you to be so vulgar." Max realised that his friend really was drinking way too much, it had been a long time since he had heard him talk in such a distasteful manner.
"I'm sorry." Georg took a large gulp of the cheap whiskey and winced at the burning sensation as it trickled down his throat. "I asked you to come here so that I could explain. If I don't talk to someone, I think I might go mad."
Max nodded and settled himself in a small chair beside the window.
"Several months ago I came to this shop to get some books for Brigitta. I'd come here many, many times before but on this one occasion I met Maria. Believe it or not we were looking for the same book." Georg looked up at his friend who appeared to be listening intently, his chin resting on his hand.
"Anyway, there was just something about her, she was innocent and naïve and such a breath of fresh air, Max. I found myself thinking about her all the time. It sounds so stupid now but I kept coming back here until finally I met her again and then we started to talk. For several weeks we would meet up with each other and walk in the park. She was so easy to talk to, she had no airs or graces and we became friends."
"This is a very lovely story, Georg but it still doesn't explain how you came to buy this shop for her," Max was becoming a little impatient.
"The owner, Herr Winkler died. That's how we really started talking to each other I suppose. She was very upset and well, as the weeks passed I found out a little bit about her… or I thought I did. I bought the shop thinking that she could work here and perhaps her life would become a little more secure than it appeared to be."
"So you bought it for completely selfless reasons?" Max was dubious.
"Not exactly. I thought that if she worked in the shop then I'd be able to see her whenever I wanted to."
"But the Fraulein is going to become a nun, Georg. I really don't think she'd be allowed to run a bookshop and she certainly wouldn't be able to have any sort of relationship with you!" Max laughed in disbelief at his friend's predicament as much as anything else.
"Yes, of course, I know that now but at the time I didn't know she was a postulant. I might be stupid, Max but I'm not that stupid."
"Are you telling me that she lied to you? I didn't think nuns were allowed to lie," Max asked, completely puzzled.
"No, she didn't lie exactly but let's say she was rather economical with the truth. As with hindsight, was I." Georg sighed. "She was appalled by the fact that I'd bought the bookshop and that was the last I saw of her until…"
"Until she became your children's Governess," Max completed his sentence as Georg once again took a gulp of his drink.
"Yes," Georg nodded, guiltily looking up at his friend.
"Really, Georg. It's no wonder you don't want Elsa to know anything about this. You have acted in the most reprehensible way. Why, I should punch you on the nose. Elsa is a very dear friend as you well know, I will not allow you to mess with her feelings like this. The more I think about it the worse it is. You went to Vienna during this sordid affair and then you expected Elsa to just drop everything and return to Salzburg with you, where presumably she has agreed to become your wife!" Max was appalled, never in all the years that he had known Georg would he ever have believed that his friend could stoop so low.
"Calm down, Max. I went to Vienna to tell Elsa that I couldn't marry her. I'm not proud of my behaviour and believe me when I tell you that Elsa certainly didn't let me off lightly but we are still friends and actually, she insisted on returning to Salzburg with us. I think she knew that there was something troubling me."
"Why did you leave, Georg?" Max was relieved that Elsa hadn't been hurt too badly but he still didn't really know why they were here.
"I was frightened… confused perhaps is a better word. I knew that if I left for a few days I would be away from it, I'd be safe." Georg hated admitting his weaknesses, he hadn't been brought up to show them but he knew he needed to speak to someone about how he was feeling.
"Georg, you can hardly use this bookshop as an escape. What is it you can't face?"
"I can't face her again," Georg sighed. He was exhausted through worry and lack of sleep.
"Maria? Are you in love with her?"
"Yes… no… I… I don't know. Elsa says that I am, she says that Maria is in love me."
"Have you let her see how you feel?" Everything was slowly becoming clear to Max.
"I'm afraid that I have. I just can't resist her. Whenever I'm near her I feel like I did when I first met Agathe. It isn't just a physical desire Max; I feel such a deep longing to be with her but by showing her my feelings I'm confusing her. She wants to become a nun and I'm making her doubt her vocation. What I'm doing is wrong, Max."
"You do know that the love of a man and woman is holy too. Have you actually asked Maria what she wants?"
"No of course not. How can I? If I tell her I love her and I scare her away then it isn't just me that will suffer, it's the children too."
"You should know, Georg, that yesterday Maria went to visit the Reverend Mother. She spent quite some time at the Abbey. When she came back she seemed at peace, perhaps she has already decided what she wants." Max pointed towards his friend. "Maybe what she really wants is you."
"But she's pledged her life to God and his service." Georg hadn't dared to let himself believe that she might actually feel as strongly as he did although she certainly hadn't acted as he had expected after they'd danced together.
"If she loves you, Georg, it doesn't mean that she loves God less. You have to find out. You have to come back. Your children miss you and if Elsa's right, then I think perhaps, not only the children?"
xXx
Returning to the Abbey had been the most sensible thing that Maria had done in quite some time. She had so many questions and very few answers. She had said her prayers every night as she always did but for some reason, God had eluded her.
After speaking to the Reverend Mother she understood why God had sent her to Georg and his children. She was finally happy that she understood his will and she was comfortable with her feelings. She had told the children on her return that as soon as they all went to school in September she would leave them.
Whilst she had admitted to herself how she felt about Georg, she had also come to terms with the fact that he would never be hers. Georg would soon be married and the children would have a new mother. She wasn't going to come in the way of that. In fact, she had been the one who had actively encouraged him to go to Elsa. When she was no longer needed here she would begin a new chapter in her life which certainly wouldn't involve Sea Captains!
xXx
The children had become restless with their father's continuing absence and Maria was worried that they were becoming a little unruly again. He had been having such a positive influence on them lately and it was very noticeable that they missed him desperately.
Elsa had tried her best to help keep them occupied, but the children didn't seem to warm to her very much. Maria on the other hand had grown to understand the Baroness a little better. Whilst they hadn't engaged in any lengthy conversations, they had been able to pass the time of day amiably. The Baroness had announced that morning that she would be returning to Vienna the following day. Maria was more than a little confused, she expected that the Baroness would at least wait until Georg returned but the more she thought about it the more things between the Captain and the Baroness didn't seem quite as they should be.
Morning studies being over, Maria shooed the children outside to get some fresh air. They didn't run out with their usual enthusiastic chatter but instead they trudged into the garden reluctantly. Liesl took the guitar with her hoping that she might be able to lift their spirits a little with a song.
Maria peered out of the study window to see the children sitting around Liesl as she played for them. From the corner of her eye she noticed a picture on a nearby table. She picked up the delicate metal framed photograph which showed a very handsome and proud Georg, who looked only a little younger along with the children and a lady that she assumed must be Agathe. The woman held a baby in her arms, which of course, Maria knew must be little Gretl. She realised that not long after this photograph had been taken, Agathe must have died. Maria felt her throat tighten and her eyes stung as they welled with tears, as she was overcome by sorrow. She had never noticed the photograph before on the very few occasions that she had been in Georg's study, so he must have placed it there just before he left the Villa.
From one of the other rooms, Maria heard Frau Schmidt calling her and so she gently returned the frame to the table and shut the study door behind her.
xXx
"Why don't we sing the song that Fraulein Maria taught us when we were scared of the thunderstorm. The one that always makes her feel better… remember?" Brigitta asked her brothers and sisters.
"Yes," Liesl smiled. "Let's try it."
One by one the children began to sing but the two little ones still felt very sad and couldn't understand why it didn't make them feel any better.
Liesl sat between them pulling them both under her arms into a warm hug as they continued with the next verse. Suddenly they heard a deeper voice join them in their singing and they looked over their shoulders, realising that their father had crept up on them from the back of the house.
They all ran to him like a herd of wild buffalo and nearly knocked him off his feet as they fought with each other to hug him first.
"Oh father, we've missed you. Why did you have to go away?" Louisa asked.
"I've missed you all too… very much." Georg glanced around at his children's excited faces. He hadn't realised that even by going away for a few days he would hurt them so much.
"I've only been away for three or four days, you've managed without me before," he stroked Liesl's cheek as they began to walk back towards the house. "Have I missed anything exciting whilst I've been away? Has Kurt managed to eat us out of house and home yet?" He joked with his son.
"Actually, we do have something to tell you father," Brigitta said very seriously, as she stopped and stood in front of Georg. "Fraulien Maria is going to leave us soon. She told us after she got back from the Abbey."
"Leave us?" It shouldn't have been a surprise; he knew she would go back to the Abbey but hearing it from the children made the news even more devastating. After speaking to Max he had dared to hope that there could be a future for them, but as he knew deep in his heart, there would never be anyone for Maria other than God.
"Yes, she's going back to the Abbey," Louisa confirmed his worst fears.
"Oh, I see," his voice trailed off. He didn't want to let his children see how much the news affected him.
"Oh Fraulein Maria, look, look, father is back." Having spotted Maria on the terrace, the children almost sang the news as Maria stood at the top of the terrace steps. "Father has come back from his trip away."
She looked so beautiful in a pretty green dress that she must have made while he was away, he thought.
"Good evening, Fraulein."
"Good evening." Maria couldn't stop a broad smile from sweeping across her lips.
"Alright, inside, go and get your dinner." She clapped her hands together as the children all came hurtling past her into the house.
Georg stood fixed to the spot as Maria slowly descended the stairs towards him.
"You left in such hurry, you didn't say goodbye. Not even to the children."
"It was wrong of me; I hope you can forgive me?"
"Why did you?" Maria could see from his eyes that something was troubling him.
"Please don't ask me, anyway, the reason no longer exists." Still Georg couldn't move nor tear his eyes away from hers. He didn't want to get any closer to her just in case he made a fool of himself. He had to accept her decision and let her move on with her life.
"Georg, finally you've returned." Elsa breezed across the terrace and joined Maria half way down the steps. "Isn't it wonderful, Maria?"
Maria nodded as Georg eventually made his way up the steps and past the two women.
"The children have missed you terribly, Captain. I hope you areback to stay and you don't have any more unexpected business trips planned?" Maria was pleading as much as asking and in her heart of hearts she knew it wasn't only on the children's behalves.
He nodded sadly, before continuing on to the house.
Elsa watched as Maria's gaze followed him all the way across the terrace and through the doors.
Clearly they were both far too honourable and stubborn for their own good. She found herself looking heavenwards and whispering, "Please God, put them both out of their misery!"
"Pardon?" Maria asked as they began to ascend the stairs together. Elsa slid her arm through Maria's and gave her a friendly wink.
"Oh, nothing my dear. I was merely thinking aloud that Georg can be such a misery at times."
Elsa laughed to herself. Plainly her work here was not yet complete.
xXx
