A Very Bad Idea
By: dharmamonkey & Lesera128
Rated: M
Disclaimer: Ummm, nope, we still don't own anything. We have, however, apparently become squatters in the sandbox that we crashed... so, umm... yeah. There we go
A/N: Well, yes, here we are. The moment of truth. This is the last chapter of our three-part holiday piece (which, unfortunately, due to the terribly inconvenient interruptions our real lives posed to our fanfic-writing lives, is a couple of days late). Again, we want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for all of your support over the last year, and the best way we could think of thanking you was to give you a nice, handmade gift. In this case, the gift of B&B unf, hand-crafted by the twisted team of Lesera128 and dharmamonkey. So, without further ado, let's rejoin our slightly-high heroes in the lab, where they've been quarantined with the rest of the squints.
Unf alert: This chapter has unf. If you think you can handle it, read on. But don't say we didn't warn ya. The NFPA fire protection code requires us to tell you that an approved, fully-tested fire extinguisher should be kept nearby while reading.
III. Spreading Holiday Joy, Part III
Pertinent Details on Scenario #3: Set during the episode 1x09: "The Man in the Fallout Shelter."
For a split second, Booth watched Brennan's receding form. He blinked at it for the span of a few more seconds before he felt a flash of annoyance at her challenge. Fucking-A, Bones. And, in a split second, he was on the move. Booth jutted out his lower jaw and narrowed his eyes in determination as he rounded the pillar and chased her up the stairs. Dammit, Bones! As he heard the loud rattle of his footfalls on the steel grate of the stairs' tread, he slowed his pace, suspecting that Brennan would be waiting for him in the lounge.
"Booth," Brennan called out to him in a very soft voice from where she lay reclining on the lounge's sole deep red colored couch as he arrived at the top of the stairs. "Two things."
"What, Bones?" Booth growled as he held his position at the top of the stairs.
Noticing how rough his voice was already, Brennan was delighted with her efforts to get his attention. However, she swallowed a smile as she decided to tease him just a bit more by pointing out some more practical issues. "One: this little experiment of ours will be a lot easier to complete if we don't wake everyone else up in the process," she said, noting how his white tank T-shirt clung nicely to his pectoral muscles, presumably because he had broken a sweat during his impromptu exercise routine.
When he realized the racket he'd made while jogging up the stairs and, perhaps worse, how loud his voice actually had been when he'd called out his response to her, Booth quickly flushed a bit in reaction to her point. For a split second, he imagined how horribly embarrassing it would be if one of the squints, or, God forbid, Goodman, actually found them in the middle of whatever it was that they were about to do.
"Fine," he shrugged. "Right. Two?"
"Second: ummmmm..." Brennan's voice trailed off as a twinkle of the luminescent red and green test tubes that Hodgins and Angela had filled and strung in the lounge finally caught her attention. Huh. That refraction really is quite pretty. Hmmmmm...
She was distracted from her thoughts when Booth snapped his fingers sharply and said, "Yo, Bones. Try to stay with me here, huh?"
Looking over at her partner, Brennan suddenly forgot about the lights, instead concentrating on Booth. "Damn, you can be quite sexy when you want to, Booth," she murmured in appreciation.
"Agreed," Booth said, as he slowly looked over at her and considered her compliment. "Ya know, Bones. You better be careful there. If I didn't know better, I would say you just said something nice about me."
"It wasn't intended as a compliment," she told him. "I was just making a statement of fact. I find you incredibly arousing from a sexual perspective." She squirmed slightly as she realized her body was several long strides ahead of her brain as she felt the well-known twitch of her arousal already growing in intensity.
"Hmmm," Booth said as he plopped himself on the couch next to her, although he was careful to maintain some distance between them. "Well, you may not have meant it as a compliment, but it was still a nice thing to say." He stopped and waggled his eyebrows at her as he added, "Of course, are you sure that you aren't wet and willing from more than just how hot I looked doing my pull-ups there, Bones?"
Tilting her head at him, she arched an eyebrow as she asked, "Meaning?"
"Meaning," he said. "I think we both know I've helped make certain you're all fussed up over there since we were having some quality one-on-one time on the platform down there before you went and started jerking me around when I was trying to jerk you off with that little stunt that you pulled, Bones."
"I don't recall jerking any part of you around, Booth," Brennan said with a leer in her voice. "But, if you want to pause in the second part of our little experiment here, perhaps so that I can make amends, I'd be very amendable to that idea."
"My experiment, Bones," Booth corrected her. "Not 'ours'—mine. And it's a really good idea that you remember that, too, FYI."
"Why?" Brennan pouted a bit.
"Because, we're not going to have anymore damn dirty tricks, Bones," Booth said as he wagged his index finger at her. "If I take my second at-bat, and that's a big if, we agree here and now that you don't pull anymore of this balking at the batter bullshit. Agreed?"
"I'm not certain what that means, but am I to assume you're referencing your allegation that I acted in some way to subvert your efforts to get me to scream God's name when you were fingering me on the platform?" Brennan asked him in a very silky voice.
Oh, shit, Booth thought to himself. She's doing it again. Shit, shit, shit. God, she is so completely fuckable even when she doesn't talk dirty like that. And then she gets going with that dirty little mouth of hers, and fuck—
"Yeah," he finally managed to nod, although the growing arousal he felt manifest in a tightening of his pants half-distracted him. He squeezed his eyes shut briefly, trying to collect himself a little, then added, "Understand, Bones? No more defensive interference, or I'm gonna make our little delay of game permanent. Capiche?"
Brennan blinked at him again, then shrugged. "Although I'm not admitting that I did anything wrong—"
"Because you wouldn't," Booth interrupted with a sharp shake of his head. "You never do."
"Then," she said curtly as she narrowed her eyes at Booth. "As I was saying, if I were to give you certain reassurances that I wouldn't act in any disingenuous manner while we were engaged in another attempt to see if you could obtain the results you desire, would that be good enough?"
He stared at her for a moment, his brow furrowed, before he nodded once. "Maybe."
"Fine," Brennan said, "But, as I previously mentioned, it might be a good idea to keep in mind that we should do our best to modulate the amount of noise we make?"
Nodding his head, Booth waved her off. "Yeah, yeah. I got it. We need to keep this on the Q-T. Got it, Bones." He stopped and then tilted his head at her as he said, "Though, if I'm right, and I can get you to scream God's name," he said with a lopsided grin, "I'm okay with waking everybody else up." He flashed his eyebrows suggestively. "It'd just have to be unintended consequences, you know, Bones."
"Well, hopefully that won't even be an issue, Booth," she snorted, leaning back against the couch, her legs falling apart slightly. "But, right now, I'm thinking I'm more interested in considering something along the line of intended consequences," she said in a low, husky voice. "That is, if you've decided to stop pouting long enough to get your cute little ass over here and see what happens."
Cute little ass? he thought, cocking a brow as he looked over at her with eyes as black as volcanic glass. Hmmm...there she goes again with that dirty little mouth—and I think I really like it. God, that's so fucking hot.
"You sure we're clear on the interference issue, Bones? You definitely aren't gonna cheat this time, are you? Because that little number you did downstairs earlier—that was totally cheating, taking a bite out of me like I was a cut of grade-A prime cut steak is not cool. It was very unsportsmanlike." He glared at her, a certain lack of focus in his eyes despite the dark, intense way that they blazed with desire. "If I'm gonna win or lose this little challenge, Bones," he said, his voice suddenly dropping a half-octave, "let me win or lose on the basis of my, you know, efforts—not because you try to get one-up on me before I've finished playing out my turn." He leveled a hard stare at her, and her pupils pulsed as their eyes locked. "Got that, Bones?"
"Fine, Booth," she said with a nod. "I got it. You're pissed because you think I cheated, and if I do it again, you'll not only be pissed, but you're probably going to have to do something to punish me for my transgressions." Leaning towards him so that he could clearly see down the line of her tank top, Brennan said, "So, if you're quite finished bitching, might I suggest that you punishing me might be a fun way to start off the second part of this little experiment?"
He licked his lips as he leaned close to her, his breath tickling her ear as he curled his fingers once more around the waistband of her yoga pants. "You want to be punished, Bones?" he said in a deep voice.
"That depends, Booth," Brennan said as her eyes darted to the waistband of her pants. "You have some ideas on what you can do to punish me?"
"I have an idea or two, yeah," Booth nodded as he tugged at her pants until she lifted her ass off the rust-colored couch just enough to allow him to slide them off her hips, down her thighs, and over her knees. "And, just for the record, I'm just getting started, Bones." He growled when he saw her white panties, but smiled at he thought that they were almost certainly still damp from his earlier efforts. Booth grunted softly as he tugged at them, too, and with a hmmph sound Brennan lifted up her ass once more from the seat as he yanked her panties off. "We're just getting started," he whispered again, stroking the point of his tongue across the helix of her ear, causing her to twist her hips against the couch. He pulled away, bent over and pulled her pants and underwear off her legs, tossing them in a clump on the far side of the couch.
"Then I think we need to start already," Brennan breathed in a husky voice. "Now."
Booth nodded his head at her words, but gave no answer or other verbal response beside a grunt as he rolled off the couch and took his place at her feet, kneeling as he pressed her thighs apart. Sliding his hands across smooth, ivory skin along the insides of her thighs, he paused as he felt the gentle roundness at the very top of each thigh, just below the apex between them. Oh my God, he thought. This is gonna be fuckin' heaven. He closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath and felt a twittering below his navel as he inhaled the sweet, musky smell of her before brushing his thumbs across her damp curls. She's already dripping, he observed silently. He parted her folds with his thumbs and grinned at the sight of her swollen pink flesh. All for me, he thought happily. All mine.
"You're so fuckin' wet," he murmured as he stroked one of his index fingers across her clit. "You're all sexed up, Bones. God, I've never known a woman that was as wet and ready as you are."
"Boooootttth," she groaned, twisting her hips and tightening her leg muscles in response. "Damn it, that feels so—"
"Tell me how it feels, Bones," he murmured. "Tell me."
"I—"
"Do you want more than my fingers this time?" he prompted her. "Do you?"
"Yes," she moaned as he traced the outer fold of her pussy with his thumb. "More."
"What do you want?" he asked again.
"I want—" she began as she squirmed under this touch. "I want you to do more than finger me, Booth."
Quite pleased at how the response he was eliciting from her, Booth smiled. "I kinda seem to remember you mentioned something about you wanting me to do something with my mouth earlier, Bones. You remember that?" He punctuated his efforts as he brought his thumb to the tip of her entrance and traced the circle that was already sleek with her fluids. "Do you?"
"Yeeeessss," she hissed, contorting at his touch.
"What did you say?"
"I said—" Brennan's words trailed off as she lost the ability to think for the span of a few seconds as Booth touched her. "Fuck—" she whispered. "I-I—"
"Yeah, Bones?"
"I wanted you to suck on my tits," she moaned. "Oh, fuck, Booth—"
His grin widening, Booth growled at her. "Oh, yeah, Bones. That's it. I'm gonna taste you this time. But, as awesome as the sucking your tits sounds, I think I wanna go for something just a bit sweeter."
His smile grew larger when she merely moaned in response. Remaining quiet himself, he leaned his head in towards her pussy, spreading her a little wider with his thumbs before brushing his lips across one of her outer folds, picking up a trace of her dampness on his upper lip which he promptly licked off. The taste of her sent a strong pulse straight into his groin, and he felt his suit slacks tighten so that there was definitely no longer any doubt in his mind that he was totally hard again. But, he tried to shake off the sensation as he opened his mouth, lowered his chin, and dragged his tongue over her opening in a long, languid stroke. She tasted so tangy and sweet, even kneeling he felt a little wobbly as he tried to center himself. Booth licked her again, dipping the point of his tongue inside of her briefly before bringing it in a circular motion around the firm rim of her opening. He winced, sure that he was about to come in his pants at the feel and taste of her on his tongue.
"God, Bones," he husked, his low voice nearly a whisper as he pulled his mouth away from her just enough that he could form words with his lips but remaining close enough to her flesh that she felt the vibration with every syllable that he spoke. "You taste so fucking incredible," he said, giving her a long, firm, demonstrative lick, tucking the point of his tongue inside of her once more to gather a bit of her tangy cream before raising his head a little. "I could go down on you all night," he murmured a moment after bringing his lips to rest against her clit.
"Ohhhh," Brennan moaned, the vibration of his voice reverberating against her most sensitive flesh in a way that nearly undid her completely right in that moment. She nibbled the inside of her lip and squeezed her eyes tightly shut—forcing herself to stop looking at the sight of her partner's dark brown hair bobbing up and down between her thighs so that she didn't come straight into his mouth right in that very minute. However, after a few seconds, she couldn't help herself as she opened her eyes and felt another gush of warmth at the sight of Booth's head moving between her legs. "You are so fucking sexy," she groaned as she felt her eyes roll back into her head as it lulled backward a bit. "So fucking sexy."
"You like that?" he said, his voice humming against her clit once more as he felt a swell of pride at her words. "You think I'm sexy, Bones?" Brennan sucked in a deep breath at the feel of his words against her clit, and he saw her rosy cheeks twitch. She moaned in the affirmative. "Bones," he murmured. "Open your eyes for me," he said, wanting more than anything to see the color of her eyes change, but knowing that she was doing everything in her power to maintain control over herself. "You're close. Stop fighting it. Come, Bones," he urged her. "Open those beautiful eyes of yours for me, baby, and come."
"Not yet," Brennan moaned. "Not yet."
Smiling in spite of her stubbornness, since Booth had always loved a challenge, with a quick, firm shake of his head, the motion of which caused Brennan to suck in another hard breath, he opened his mouth and deployed his tongue once more. This time he circled her clit a couple of times. Brennan closed her thighs a little, pressing them against the sides of Booth's head before he parted them with his forearms. Nope. No way. No cheating there, Bones. Vaguely annoyed by what part of him recognized was probably a reflex on her part, he held her thighs apart with his hands as he closed his lips around her clit, sucking on it for a couple of seconds before letting go, lathing it with the flat of his tongue, then pulling on it again firmly with his lips.
"Ohhh...oohhhh...ohhhh...ohhhhhh my—"
Booth looked up just as he thought she would say the magic words, but she suddenly fell curiously silent. He couldn't tell from where he knelt between her legs, but Brennan was holding a piece of flesh on the inside of her lower lip between her teeth. As she loosened her hold on her lip, he stroked her once more with his tongue, which was slippery with her fluids, his saliva or, most likely, a mixture of both, but the perfect combination of friction and viscosity made the sensation that much more—for lack of a better word, perfect.
"Come on, baby," Booth whispered between cycles of licking and sucking. He exhaled hard from his nose, not intending to do so, but in so doing making her arch her back at feeling a hard puff of air on her most sensitive parts. "Come for me."
"Oh, Booooothhh," Brennan groaned. Oh my God, she thought. Unwilling for her thoughts to escape her lips as verbalizations, she clamped her teeth down on the tender inside of her lip until she noted the metallic taste of blood pooling in the space between her lower incisors and her bottom lip. She held her teeth firm as she arched her back one last time, thrusting her wet pussy into his mouth, the slow upward spiral of sensation suddenly spiking as she felt a powerful flash of pleasure surge through her core before she shattered, her body's responses dissolving into a flutter. "Oh, Booth," she grunted as she felt him take one last languid lick, wiggling his tongue at her cum-soaked entrance before pulling away.
"Yeah," he whispered as he leaned back on his haunches, wiping his mouth with the open palm of his hand, quite pleased with himself as he realized that not only had he gotten her to come again, but that, at least this time, she'd called his name—and he found the sound of her voice moaning his name in pleasure incredibly fucking sexy. "Oh, yeah, Bones. Definitely."
Oh, God, he told himself. Wow—just wow. Fuck me, that was hot. Wow. As Booth watched her fall against the back of the couch, her head dropped back, exposing the smooth, creamy skin of her neck as her legs lay open. She's so un-fucking-believable, he thought. He grinned at how he'd brought her to such a powerful orgasm and wondered how he'd yet failed to get her to cry out the words that he just knew were on the tip of her tongue. They were on the tip of your tongue, Bones, just when you were on the tip of mine, he grinned evilly. I know it. I just know it. He watched her, when she was still in the haze of repletion, unable or uninterested in returning his gaze, and he saw her swirl her tongue between her teeth and lower lip. He wanted to kiss her lips, but at that moment, as her pale eyes flashed open, he knew she would have none of it. Fuck. You are such a cheater, Bones. I don't know how you did it this time, but there is no fucking way I wasn't good enough to have you screaming God's name in several languages, let alone English. Hrrrummpphh.
Then, without a further word, he pressed his hands to his thighs and stood up, grunting a little as he felt his back crack and the act of standing up reminded him instantly how tight the fabric of his trousers was drawn across his own flesh. Brennan narrowed her eyes and looked at him with an unreadable expression on her face, aside from the fact that her eyes looked glassy and dulled, as she watched him move. Shaking his head, Booth twisted his hips a bit to adjust himself slightly, gave her a knowing look, and then shook his head.
"I'll catch up with you later, Bones," he said as he stared at her one final time, holding her gaze for several intense seconds, before he shook his head with a quiet snort and started to walk away. Booth headed in the direction of the stairs, leaving Brennan staring at him open-mouthed—and the look on her face couldn't be in any way attributed to still being an 'o-face.'
As he began walking down the stairs, he paused on the third step, glancing over his shoulder to see she rolled her head to the side, her heavy-lidded eyes watching him in curiosity. "Yeah," he nodded, just as much to himself as to her as he added, "And, don't forget, there's still one more out to go, Bones. This game isn't over—not by a long shot."
Booth then resumed a clipped pace as he bounded down the stairs, leaving Brennan alone once more.
About a half-hour later, Brennan stood in the Bone Room, adjacent to the Modular Skeleton Storage facility, examining a couple of Careful Lionel's now-cleaned vertebrae that had been cleared for removal from the bio-containment quarantine unit. The past thirty minutes had been pure torture for Brennan. Although she loathed to admit it, the casual dismissal with which Booth had left her after he'd finished licking her into one of the best damn orgasms she'd ever had stung a bit. This time, she didn't even get the chance to make an offer to reciprocate for him. He'd didn't even bother to let her make the offer, but had just made a flat out rejection of her when he'd left her in the lounge, spread across the couch in her post-orgasmic haze clad in nothing but her tank top. For one of the first times in her life, the casual dismissal had made Brennan feel objectified, and she was pissed off about it.
When she'd finally recovered enough sense to hastily dress, she'd contemplated taking refuge in Angela's office, knowing that Booth wouldn't dare bother her in there. However, two very good reasons prevented her from doing so. First, she didn't want the game to be over between them, and she knew if she went into Angela's office, it was as good as saying 'Good night, Booth. Thank you for the lovely evening.' And, she wasn't ready for that to happen quite yet. Second, the past two hours that Booth had spent teasing her into a frenzy, making her come twice, and then just dismissing her each time had left her in a pissed off heightened state of arousal that demanded she do something. And, so, Brennan decided to wait and bide her time, knowing that if nothing else, her partner's arrogance would eventually draw him back to her. So, she found something to distract herself and patiently waited for him to seek her out, just as she knew he'd eventually do.
Brennan had just moved one of Lionel's vertebra under a magnifying lens when a familiar voice shattered the dignified quiet of the Bone Room.
"Whatcha doin' there, Bones?"
She looked up with a scowl on her face, momentarily annoyed at having been interrupted from her work when she'd finally just managed to stop thinking about Booth and how he'd just left her in the lounge as she waited for him to come and find her. He stood there, in the doorway, leaning against the door frame with his head propped on one hand, the other stuffed in his pants pocket. He had again doffed Angela's elf hat, which he now wore at a rakish angle, a crooked grin on his face as he stared at her with a distinct wickedness twinkling in his dark brown eyes.
"What is it, Booth?" she asked, her sharp tone clearly indicating that she was in no mood to play after the way he'd treated her.
Booth stepped away from the door frame, pausing to examine the latch, which looked virtually identical to the one on the door to his office at the Hoover. There were metal buttons, one above and one below the catch, and for a moment, his mind still a little hazy, he puzzled over them. Then, in a moment of clarity or decisiveness, he pressed the one on top, then pulled the door firmly shut and locked behind him as he walked into the room.
Brennan felt her stomach flip once as the door clanked shut. "What?" she snapped, unready to acknowledge or register anything other than mild irritation at that moment. "What do you want?"
"Well," he began, stepping away from the door as he sauntered toward the illuminated examination table. He placed his hand on the table, admiring the way the light shined around his splayed, thick fingers, and grinned. "I should think that would be fairly obvious, Bones."
Tiring of waiting for his answer, Brennan rolled her eyes and shook her head before she returned to her examination of Careful Lionel's vertebrae.
"You finked out on the Secret Santa, Bones," Booth said after a minute, the thought suddenly occurring to him.
"I what?" she asked, looking up once more from the skeleton. "What are you talking about?"
"See, Bones," Booth said quite patiently, almost as if he were explaining things to a child, "This is the thing. We're all stuck here together because of this stupid lung fungus, right?" Brennan blinked at him several times, and when she didn't mouth off again, Booth smiled and continued. "So, we're stuck here over Christmas when we'd rather—well, when most of us, anyway—would rather be with our families, so all we've got this Christmas is each other, right? Well, you let us down a little when you decided to fink out on the Secret Santa—more specifically, you let me down, Bones. It's Christmas time, the best time of the year, my most favoritist holiday of the entire year. And, it's a time when people who care about each other, even if it's just in the most casual of ways, well, those people exchange gifts at Christmas, Bones."
"Booth," Brennan snorted. This is complete bullshit. If you want something from me, say it. "Once again, you're rambling." She leveled a hard stare at him. "And, you know what, I'm getting a little tired of you dictating things to me. So, for the final time, my question to you is what in the fuck are you trying to say, Booth? Because, when you blather on like you've been doing, you're doing nothing but wasting time here, both yours and mine, and I've got real work to do. So, you need get on with it, and I think it might be a good idea if you'd do that by being direct for once in your damn life."
He laughed and walked around the side of the examination table, leaning in close enough to Brennan that she could smell him—the musky, woody smell of his sweat, the fading scent of his sandalwood aftershave, and the now-faint smell of his menthol shaving cream. Though he still felt a little foggy and his eyesight still seemed a little blurry on account of the anti-fungal drugs, Booth nonetheless noted how she responded to his closeness with a certain flare of her nostrils, a definite darkening of her pale eyes, and a clear flushing of her face and shoulders. She fucking wants me, he smirked. She fucking wants me. And who am I to refuse her, huh? Besides, the more she wants me, the better it's gonna be when I'm finally inside of her and, oh—wow. Booth grunted quietly as he quickly tried to formulate a strategy. So how do I do this?
"What I'm saying, Bones, is that I think it would be a very good thing if you got off your pretty little ass over there and did the right thing by participating in the exchange of gifts," he said with a grin. "Because, you know, it's the festive thing to do."
"Oh, really?" she blinked at him. "You want me to give you a gift—"
"Well, since you missed the drawing of names for Secret Santa—and since you and I are partners and all—I think it makes sense for you and me to exchange gifts," Booth said with a casual shrug. "Besides, it could be argued that I've already given you two there, Bones," he said as he raised up two fingers and gestured at her with him vaguely in the air. "Two times, remember? You've come twice because of me. Dos—as in twice, because I fingered you into oblivion once and then licked you all the way into that second awesome orgasm."
Brennan felt a warm pulse between her legs at the crudeness of his words, but she wasn't ready to give into him, not yet given how angry she still felt at his casual dismissal over her each time she'd let him touch her. "So, what kind of gifts are you suggesting we exchange, Booth?" she asked with a tilt of her head. "Or, am I the only one who'll be doing the giving since you've already been so damn generous with your fingers and your mouth, huh?"
"Well, uhhhh," he said, his voice dropping an octave from just seconds earlier. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, squirming a little as he felt a raw tingle radiating from the base of his spine signaling that he was getting hard thinking of how to flat out proposition her. She fucking wants me, and I sure as fuck want her. God, I want her. I want her so fuckin' bad I can taste it. Especially now that I've tasted her. And damn, did she taste good—fucking amazing. I want back in, now. Right now. I've been hard off and on for almost two hours. I want to be inside her so badly that it hurts. Fuck, Bones—
"So, I was thinking—well, uhhhhhh—"
She rolled her eyes and reached out, placing her hand over his, tracing her fingers with a feather-light touch over the web of thick veins that fanned over the top of his hand. She smiled as he groaned a heavy sigh at her caress, then she pulled her hand away again. "Spit it out, Booth."
He looked at her and grunted. He knew she was teasing him, knowing full well that he'd gotten her off twice and that he'd been worked up all night, but hadn't let himself go once, and, somehow, despite the happy confusion of his anti-fungal drug haze, he felt a flash of indignation at that particular thought. She was toying with him, and it was starting to piss him off. "You know what I'm saying," he said. He felt a dull ache in his balls growing stronger with each second that her pale eyes stared at him intently, and he knew he needed her, quickly and completely.
Brennan blinked. "No, I don't," she snapped. "And frankly, Booth, I don't really have time to play games here. If you can't just say what you want to say, I'll have to ask you to leave because I have remains to examine."
"Games?" he sputtered, indignant rage continuing to build at her words. "What the fuck do you think we've been doing for two hours, Bones? This has been nothing but one huge game."
"Fine," she nodded, a look of self-righteous arrogance clear on her face. "You're right. Maybe it has been nothing but one huge game. But, you know what? Not anymore. This time, you're not going to be the one to dismiss me like I'm some two-bit whore that you've picked up off the street. I'll be damned if I'm going to let you treat me like that."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" he said as he processed her words. "I've never—"
"Like fuck you haven't," Brennan snapped. "So, you dismissed me twice? Fine. That's fine. I'm a big girl, and I can take it. But, I'll be fucked if that's going to happen a third time. So, you know what? You can get the fuck out, Booth. You're the one who's dismissed. Now, leave me alone and get out."
"Oh, hell, no," Booth said as he moved towards her. "You do not get to do that. Not now."
"I just did," Brennan hissed. "Now, get away from me."
"I'm here for my last turn," Booth growled. Glaring at her, he added, "I assume you know what I'm referring to here, Bones. Or, do I need to draw you a fucking picture—with an emphasis on the fucking part?"
"Oh, I get what you mean, Booth," Brennan said with a shake of her head. "But, this is no longer about any damn experiment or game. I'm still mad at you, Booth. I'm pissed, as a matter of fact. I can't believe you just walked away from me like that—"
"What the fuck did you want me to do?" he asked in a clearly annoyed voice. "Huh? What the fuck did you want me to do?"
"Not make me feel like a cheap slut who spread her legs for any asshole that she managed to get locked up with on Christmas!" Brennan said, her voice growing louder. Her face was red, and her anger was making her body heave with short gasps that made her tits jiggle with each breath. Booth watched for a few seconds, indulging himself before he shook his head and said, "I know you're not like that."
"Then why did you make me feel like that?" Brennan volleyed back.
"Because!" Booth returned. "What the fuck else was I supposed to do?"
"Let me touch you," Brennan retorted. "For starters, you could've stayed long enough to let me touch you."
"Fine," Booth nodded, as he took off the elf hat he was wearing and tossed it to the ground. Looking up at her, he said, "I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. Touch me."
"Oh, no," Brennan said with an incensed shake of her head. "That offer is no longer on the table, Booth. There's no way I'm doing that now. Consider the offer rescinded."
"Fine," Booth said a casual shake of his head. "Fine—"
"Good—"
"But, you made an agreement, Bones," Booth interrupted her as he gave her a very predatorial smile. "We had a deal, Bones. And a deal is a deal."
"No—"
"A deal is a deal," Booth repeated. "And, I'm holding you to it. I've still got a third go coming to me, and I intend to take it."
"No way," Brennan insisted. "There's no way in hell I'm ready to continue that stupid experiment."
"You never mentioned having to be ready before, Bones, when we set the ground rules," he said as he leaned in closer, grinding his hips against her as he backed her into the examination table. "As I recall, you said it was up to me to set the place and time, so that's what I'm doing." He took a slow, deep breath. "Those were your rules," he reminded her, then added firmly, but more quietly, "and so I'm not really asking."
At the touch of his body to hers, Brennan felt something snap inside her as she looked at him with bright eyes full of want and arousal. "What are you going to do, Booth? What are you going to do to make me do what you want?"
"I think you already know the answer to that, Bones," Booth said quietly. "We both know you want me inside you, really inside you this time as much as I want to be inside you."
"No—"
"You're lying again," Booth said with a smirk clear on his face as he shook his head. "You couldn't do that well before I touched you or tasted you like I have, Bones. Now that apart of me's been inside you twice, and you've come because of me, do you think I don't know when you're lying?"
"Fuck," she suddenly growled as she reached out and fisted a portion of his shirt. "I hate you so fucking much sometimes."
"The feeling's mutual, I can assure you, Bones," Booth said. "Now, can we please stop fucking talking?"
"Isn't that what I'm supposed to say to you?" Brennan asked with a laugh.
Booth shot her a look and simply said, "Shut up, Bones."
"No way," Brennan breathed, watching him in expectation to see what he'd do when he finally moved. "I've never done what you told me to before so what makes you think I'd do it now, Booth?"
"Because I'm not gonna give you much of a choice in the matter when I'm piling into you in about sixty seconds, Bones," Booth growled. "Right here, right now."
Shaking her head in disbelief, she asked, "Here?" She looked down at the bone table with its warm, yellow underglow and around at the examination equipment scattered around it.
"Yes," Booth groaned, closing the distance between them with a single step so that she could feel his hot breath on her temple as he finally moved and put Brennan out of her misery of trying to figure out what he'd finally do what when he moved. "Here. Right here I'm going to fuck you right here, right now.."
"Now?" she inquired, her face flush and her eyes suddenly dark, her irises a thin ring around her enlarged pupils.
"Yes," he grunted. "Right now, Bones."
"Fuck," she whispered, her eyes widening as she saw a passionate and yet vaguely dark look come over her partner's face, one that intrigued at the same time it sent a shiver down her spine.
"That's the plan, Bones," Booth he said, his voice deeper than she had ever heard it before.
"Yes," she said again, her breathing suddenly having become even more shallow then it already had been as she felt a renewed pulse of warmth and moisture grow steadily stronger between her legs. "Oh, yes."
Booth reached down and hooked his thumbs underneath the elastic waistband of her yoga pants and pants in what was becoming a very familiar move. "Now," he groaned, roughly yanking them off her hips, exposing her damp auburn curls to the cool air of the Bone Room's climate control. He pushed the stretchy fabric down her thighs to her knees, then looked up into her eyes. "Take those off," he grunted, narrowing his dark eyes as he raised his hands to cup her face between them and covered her mouth with his. He kissed her hard, sliding his tongue along the boundary between her lips before, a second later, she relented, opening her mouth with a sigh. He slid his tongue into her mouth, exploring the warm, sweet wet feel of her mouth as the pulse of his want grew more and more imperative. He twirled his tongue against hers and retreated into the space between her front teeth and her lower lip. He felt something strange, a strange, unexpected texture and the vague, tingly taste of copper.
What the—? He pulled away slightly, breaking the kiss, then took a breath and leaned in again, allowing her to grasp at his mouth with hers as he struggled to suppress a smile. Why that little cheater! I can't believe that she did that. Except I totally can. Returning her kiss, he moaned into her mouth as her tongue entered his, grinding his pelvis forcefully against her.
"I'm so sick of taking those fucking pants and panties off of you."
"Ohhhhhh," she murmured. "Booth—"
"Off," he said again, apparently no longer able to form utterances longer than a word or two. He felt he was going out of his mind with want, and he couldn't take it any longer. "Take 'em off," he whispered before dropping his head to place hard, sucking kisses along the base of her neck.
Brennan opened her eyes and stared at him. "I'm still pissed off at you."
"Sorry," he murmured. "I won't do it again," he breathed against her neck in between a series of rough kisses. "I swear."
Seeing how his warm brown eyes had darkened to the color of obsidian, the warm yellow light of the room reflecting off of them in a way that made them look impenetrably black, she felt her desire for him tightening into a nearly painful coil of want between her legs. Booth broke off their kiss and, panting as he gasped for breath, took a half step backward, giving her space to toe off her ballet shoes and wiggle out of her pants. He quickly peeled off his tank T-shirt, letting it fall uselessly onto the floor, then reached down and unfastened his heavy brass U.S. Army belt buckle, unbuttoned his slacks, and unzipped his fly. The sharp zzzipppp sound caught Brennan's attention, and he smirked when she looked up at the sound, her face flushing even further as he slid his slacks along with red and green boxer shorts off his hips, letting them both fall around his knees as he took a short step forward to close the distance between them once more.
"I hate these damn boxers," she finally managed to utter. "I hate them."
"Why?" Booth breathed against her. "They're festive."
"Fuck festive," Brennan groaned. "They're stupid."
"I'm not wearing them anymore," he said as he kicked them away. "Better?"
She slowly nodded. "Yes."
Grinning at her, he said, "You choose the most stupid fucking things to bitch about, Bones."
Brennan bit back a smirk of her own as she now realized that he was completely naked and so was she but for the tank top that would become infamous after the conclusion of this evening's happenings.
"Booth?"
"Yeah, Bones?"
"I want you," she murmured.
Booth grinned as he savored her words. For several long moments, they stared at one another: Booth holding himself in one hand as he braced himself against the examination table with the other as he looked into her eyes, and Brennan gazing back at him, breaking the stare only long enough to pull her blue tank top over her head and letting it fall onto the opposite edge of the brightly glowing table.
"Booth," she whispered again, her gaze finally dropping from staring into his eyes to staring at his cock, hard and thick as he held it loosely in his hand. She watched him draw his thumb across the shaft, right behind the swollen tip, and her mouth suddenly becoming so dry, that she knew it would hurt to speak—assuming that, at that moment, she could have cobbled together a coherent thought, which she vaguely recognized was exceedingly unlikely under the circumstances. All she could think of what how fucking wonderful his cock looked and how badly she wanted to feel it inside of her.
In that instant, Booth seemed to have recovered his ability to speak, at least temporarily. "Do you see what you do to me?" he asked her, his voice deep and vaguely dark. Grabbing her hand and placing it over his cock, he asked, "Do you feel what you do to me?" His hand fell away from his hard arousal as her slender fingers wrapped around him, and his head fell back as he nearly lost himself simply on account of feeling her touch him. "Can you feel how crazy you make me?" he whispered, his words coming haltingly between each of her lightly measured strokes.
"Yes," she sighed, closing her fingers even more tightly around him.
Booth groaned. "I wanna fuck you," he said, his voice nearly a rumble as it sounded from deep in his chest. "You wanna be fucked?" he asked, nudging her hand away with his left hand as he reached down and caressed the inside of her thigh with the back of his right hand. "You want me to fuck you, Bones?"
"Ohhh yesss," she hissed, her breath catching in her throat as he moved his hand over her thigh, pulled her leg up and draped it loosely over his right hip. "Do...do you want to fuck me, Booth?" she asked.
"I've never wanted to fuck someone as badly as I want to fuck you right now," he grunted back, reaching around to palm the small of her back with one hand as he bent his knees slightly and guided himself into her with the other. "Never." He exhaled a long breath he hadn't, until that moment, realized he'd been holding as he slowly and steadily pressed his way through her tight, indescribably wet warmth. "Ohhhhh," he moaned, so overcome by the intense sensations that he swore he saw stars rain before his eyes. "Oh, fuck, Bones. Fuuuucccckkkk," He closed the last fraction of an inch between them with a firm push before slowly pulling out again.
"Oh, Booooottthhh," Brennan moaned, gasping as the incredible fullness she felt suddenly felt empty as he pulled out again. She sucked in a deep breath and threw her head back as he thrust into her again, harder, quicker and more roughly this time. "Oh fuck, Booth!" she cried, sliding one of her hands off of the exam table and bringing it around to caress his ass, the taut, muscular structure of which she'd noted that afternoon and had been thinking about for hours. As he pounded in and out of her, filling her and stretching her in a way she couldn't remember ever having been filled and stretched before, her fingers curled and she raked her fingernails over the round of his ass.
"Oh fuck, Bones," Booth groaned, his eyes rolling back into his head a little as he felt her nails dig into his flesh. "I'm fucking you," he asked, his voice resonating in her ear as his warm breath, hard and uneven, tickled her neck. "I'm fucking you," he repeated, almost as if he were trying to convince himself that the sensation of feeling buried balls deep into wasn't a dream.
"I know," she whimpered. "Keep fucking me. Oh, please. Don't stop. Don't stop fucking me."
"Do you like how that feels, Bones?" he asked. "Because I sure as fuck do,"he muttered more to himself than for her benefit. "I love how it feels, me fucking you. I've always wanted to fuck you, Bones—since that very first night. I've always wanted this, I've always wanted you. You feel so fuckin' amazing, Bones," he whispered, bending his head a little and nipping at her neck, dragging his lower teeth across her skin as she hissed in response. "So tight...and so...fuckin'...amazing," he added, every few syllables punctuated with a soft grunt as he pistoned into her.
"Yesssss...ohhhhh...fuck, Booth!" She closed her eyes, unable to focus her mind on anything other than the incredible sensation of his thick cock sliding in and out of her, his rapid and slick movements so powerful that, though she wanted to hold his ass with both hands, she was afraid to let go of the table behind her because she wasn't sure she would be able to hold herself up otherwise. "Ohh, good. Sooooo fucking goooood...ohhhhhh..."
"Oh God, Bones," he groaned, forcing his eyes open so he could see her face, her expressions shifting with each thrust he made. "You feel so fuckin' good, baby," he grunted softly, closing his lips over her earlobe and giving it a wet, sucking pull.
"Ohhhh...ohh, Boooothhh—"
Feeling him sucking her ear hard enough that it stung, together with the unyielding momentum with which he stroked into her and the vague sensation of him pressing his hand against the small of her back, holding her tightly against him as he braced himself against the table with his other hand—all those feelings combined in a dizzying array of sensations that sent her headlong into a rapid spiral, and as her arousal peaked, all these sensations swirling around her and drawing her even deeper towards a blinding release, she no longer had a mind to control the words or sounds that fell from her lips.
"Booottthhh," she cried out softly. "Oh, Booth—"
"Come for me, baby," he whispered, moving his right hand from the small of her back, walking his fingers around to wrap themselves around her left hip, using his forearm to press her even more tightly against him as he felt her falling close to the edge. "We've been here before, Bones. I know when you're close. I've felt in on my fingers, on my tongue, and it feels even better with my cock. So, please, come on, Bones," he moaned in encouragement, his mouth hanging open as he pounded into her with a soft grunt. "Let go, baby—just come."
At that moment, feeling his pubis grind against her most sensitive flesh as he pressed as deeply into her as he could go, Brennan's head fell back once more and her groan became choked, swallowed into a sharp, unfettered cry as her body clenched hard around him before she shattered into a hundred tiny flutters.
"Oh God, Booth!" she cried in a shout of passionate exultation. "Oh, my God..."
Had Booth been in his right mind at that point, he would have laughed, but from the moment her muscles clenched around him and she broke apart in his arms, his thoughts were eclipsed by a flood of feelings and sensations that were beyond words. Somewhere in the distance, a tiny flickering fragment of his rational mind heard her exclamation, but at the moment it fell from her lips, Booth could neither see, nor think nor hear a thing except his own imminent release.
"Oh fuuuuuuccccck, Bones," he groaned, following her over the edge as he let go, his eyes clenched shut as he flooded into her. "Oh God," he whispered into her creamy neck as the last pulses of his release faded and he finally opened his eyes.
Several long moments passed as he held her against him and she let go of the table, finally bringing her right hand around to cup his ass.
"Oh," she said in an almost inaudibly low voice. "Oh, Booth," she said, exhaling a controlled breath through her pursed lips. "Ohhhh—"
"Yeah," he sighed, an awkward laugh falling from his lips as he arched his eyebrows. "That was—wow." He shook his head as he pulled away, wincing slightly as he slipped out of her. "Oh, God, Bones—that was just so...I can't even say..."
"Yes," she agreed, her voice still breathless and her face, neck and shoulders deeply flushed. "It was," she admitted with a chuckle.
A couple of minutes of silence passed between them as they each regained their bearings.
Booth broke the silence. "Walk-off home run by Booth in the bottom of the ninth with two outs," he said with a smirk. "In spite of the fact that you cheated again, Bones."
Brennan narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," Booth said. "If you remember when my tongue was stuck in your mouth about twenty minutes ago?"
"Yes—" she said vaguely.
"I felt where you bit yourself," Booth chuckled at her. "I had no idea you were such a biter, Bones."
Brennan flushed. "I don't suppose it really matters now, does it, since—well, maybe we can just say it was good practice for the next three months since I know I'll have to bite my tongue in any discussions that even remotely touch on issues of theology or organized religion."
"Damn straight," he said. Then with a smile, he added, "Oh my fucking God, that was totally awesome, you little cheater, you."
"Well," she said with a smile. "Yeah, it sort of was," she smiled. She paused and then frowned a bit as she said, "I'm still pissed off at you, just so that you know."
"Awwww, Bones," Booth whined a bit into her shoulder. "Come on. Doesn't my Secret Santa gift make up for it at all?"
"Maybe if you'd been wearing the elf hat when you fucked me," Brennan said thoughtfully. "Maybe."
Arching an eyebrow at her, he said, "I think we can make that happen, Bones."
"Can we?" she asked prettily, suppressing a smile.
Nodding, Booth said with a grin, "Yeah. I think we can."
Approximately an hour later, Booth ran his hand through his sweat-damp hair as he turned away, opening the door to the Bone Room before pausing to catch his breath while he glanced down the hall. He shot Brennan a sheepish grin as she raised Angela's elf hat in the air and placed it happily on her head. He shook his head and then nodded his goodbyes since he knew the sun would be rising in a short amount of time, and their mutual agreement to start a new experiment would have to wait until after the quarantine ended.
As it was, Brennan knew she'd have to spend a fair amount of time in the morning going through security footage and backlooping the logs so that no one saw anything that they shouldn't. It wouldn't be an easy task, but Brennan knew she'd do what she had to do to keep whatever it was between the two partners just between the two of them for now.
For his part, Booth could feel the heavy rise and fall of his chest as he called on one of his old sniper techniques to slow his breathing and heart rate. Oh my God, he thought again, the same thought echoing over and over in his head as it had off and on for much of the past hour. That was so un-fucking-believeable and so unspeakably awesome. He took a long, deep breath and, with a quick backward glance at Brennan as she pulled her tank top over her head, he reluctantly stepped out into the hall. Though, to be honest, if I can do that with her again, I'd be willing to listen to a little bit of Jesus-is-a-zombie and God-is-a-myth crap from time to time. Because that—those were the hottest, most amazing, mind-shattering fucks of my entire life. What a fucking awesome Christmas morning. I guess I have been a very good boy, after all, since I got everything that I wanted from Santa Claus this year—and will again later, as soon as we get the fuck out of here.
He began walking down the hall towards the men's room—a part of him surprised that he could even stand, never mind walk, after an experience like that, and another part of him thinking it would do him some good to splash some cold water on his face so that he could clean up—when he suddenly realized his fly was open. He slowed his gait and looked down to zip himself up when a deep, sonorous voice called out to him.
"Agent Booth," Dr. Goodman said, glancing down at Booth's hands before snapping his head up again to meet his eyes. He paused for a moment, wondering why the agent was zipping his fly on the way to the men's washroom. Ahhhh, he noted silently, trying to suppress a smirk as he scanned Booth's darkened eyes, flush skin, mussed hair, and slack-jawed face. Very interesting. Hmmm. So, I'm going to hazard a guess that Dr. Brennan is not in Ms. Montenegro's office catching up on her beauty rest. Intriguing...
"You aren't having trouble sleeping, are you?" he asked, his voice steady and even, though a look of recognition twinkled behind his eyes in the half-light of the corridor.
"Yeah," Booth said awkwardly, smoothing one hand over the flap of his slacks while the other rubbed his belly in a circular motion, his cheeks flushed and the tips of his ears burning as he noted the flicker in Goodman's eyes. "It's the medicine, I guess," he managed with a casual shrug that was a bit too casual. Oh, fuck. Goodman—of course, it had to be fucking Goodman. But, wait...he doesn't know, right? I mean, it can't be that obvious. Right? Naaaawww—
"Yes, well," Goodman said. "I'm sorry to hear that, Agent Booth." He stopped and tilted his head as he gave the younger man a very knowing look. "Hmmm, that's quite strange though."
"What is?" Booth managed to ask without his voice cracking too badly.
"It's just that I don't recall the gentleman from the CDC mentioning insomnia as one of the known side-effects of the voriconazole, fluconazole, imidazole, amphotericin B cocktail they administered to us. And supposedly neither of the three drugs administered orally are known to cause such adverse reactions," Goodman mused. He stared at Booth with a narrow, piercing look taking a small amount of petty delight in making the younger man squirm. "But I suppose we all respond differently to treatment." Well, I can't say I'm surprised, he thought. He's a very handsome and extremely charming man, and she's a very attractive, intelligent woman, and, well—
"What?" Booth blanched. "Oh, really? How about that then? So, yeah, well," he mumbled. "Maybe it's just the stress of, you know, maybe being exposed to that lung fungus and missing Christmas—you know, with my son and all." Booth had to stop himself from wincing at the lameness of his remarks. Jesus, I might as just write out a full confession here and now—
"Of course," Goodman said, narrowing his eyes and biting back a smirk. "Well, then, I hope you don't mind me observing, but you certainly don't seem particularly tense at this point, so I trust you found something to help relax you," he deadpanned. "I don't mean a pharmaceutical sleep aid, of course," he clarified with a grin. "Sometimes it's just a question of finding the right kind of activity to put a man in a more relaxed state of mind."
Booth grimaced slightly, his forehead wrinkling at the archaeologist's words. Oh God, he cringed. He knows, doesn't he? He totally does. Shit. Shit. Shit. That's why he's torturing me this way. How am I ever going to look him in the eyes again, especially with Bones standing there next to me? He's gonna look at her, look at me, and he's gonna be thinking how me and Bones pounded one out in the lab on Christmas Eve when everybody else was snoozing. And, shit—now I've got to tell her. How in the fuck do I tell her that her boss knows we were fucking in the lab? Shit, this is not good—not good at all. Awww... fuck.
"I'm quite tired," Goodman said as he watched the inner gears of Booth's mind grind in turmoil. Deciding that he'd tortured the FBI agent enough, he gave a sharp nod as he said, "So I'll just be going back to bed. Goodnight, Agent Booth."
Good night, indeed, he smirked to himself. Good for you, Agent Booth. Good for you—and, I suspect, good for Dr. Brennan. Goodman winked and began to walk away.
"Goodnight," Booth blurted out. His eyes followed Goodman as the latter continued down the corridor and disappeared into Brennan's office, which had become his and Booth's bedroom for the duration of their holiday quarantine. Oh Lord, he groaned silently.
Turning around, Booth walked back to the Bone Room, opened the door, and called out softly, "Hey, Bones? I, uhhh, I need to tell you something real quick—"
The End
(for scenario #3)
To Be Continued
(for the series)
A/N:
So, was it as good for you as it was for us? ::snort::
Will you ever think of "Man in the Fallout Shelter" the same way again after reading this? Because now, when Booth shows up on the platform in that elf hat and leans in close to Brennan, you'll think, "I know where his other hand is," and then you'll ask, "Did he really wear the hat the 2nd time?"
::grin::
Seriously, though, we hope you enjoyed this piece. We believe it sufficiently festive and in keeping with the time-honored Roman tradition of Saturnalia.
We've got several more "Very Bad Idea" pieces in the hopper (next one in queue: our M-rated take on what might have happened after the fade to black at the end of "Intern in the Incinerator"). We also owe you cool cats the last two chapters of "Cognitive Dissonance" and we've got a new piece in the works, a sequel to "When She Ran Away" that deals with what happens when Brennan attends black-tie military gala at which Booth is awarded the Silver Star for gallantry in Afghanistan (also, as usual, an M-rated piece, which means you probably already know how it will end).
Anyways, reviews are the fuel that feeds our writing engines. Please top us up so we can keep giving you the stuff you like.
All you need to do is click that little review button. Oh stop, you know exactly which one we're talking about. Yes, silly. That one right down there.
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::snicker::
Thanks! And happy new year, everybody!
