A/N: HI GUYS! Sooo, I just went back and skimmed/read all of my past chapters… I am astounded I made such a hateful relationship into a deep friendship so effectively without it completely failing and sucking in a million ways. I personally hate stories that rush Kakashi and Iruka's relationship. I truly hope mine isn't like this… If it is I'm just going to add a lot more chapters and make it a like, 150,000 word story. However, the fact I'm already at a good fifty-thousand words is pretty impressive. Especially since though the care is evident, they haven't ventured into the realms of a relationship. So sorta' yay me… I feel their friendship is far too rushed though… Ah well, you guys like it! And I know it doesn't completely suck, so that's awesome! I hope I wrote their friendship believably. O.o Did I?
ANYWAY! So, here is the absolutely fantastic chapter 12. (I hope.) Let us watch the story unfold! (Gosh I'm so nervous for this chapter...)
Important Notice: School has started again… Meaning I'm not entirely sure if I'll be able to update Perplexed once-a-month like I have been. So I sincerely apologize for that, but know it shall never be abandoned!
Warnings: It is chapter twelve, these are entirely unnecessary and I will now fore-go these in the future. Well, I should but probably won't in fear of angry reviewers... Wait what? This is fanfiction. The fact you are on such a chapter and pretty much know what's going to happen should mean you are not going to get upset if it randomly ups-itself in rating. So… I think I shall and it's okay, to fore-go these!
Disclaimer: THESE, however, are quite necessary. I don't own Naruto, Kakashi, Iruka, hot man sex, or anything of that nature or relating to Naruto. It's quite a pity really, I mean look at what I've done with two characters already! Imagine if I had all of Naruto …*o* (Actually it'd barely be on book ten at this point if that was true… *fails at updates and hangs head in shame* v.v)
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The silver-haired jounin awoke with a start. Someone was in his bed, and he could feel the- skin? Touching him. Kakashi tried remembering who could have possibly earned the right to sleep in his bed, why they were there, and how the hell he even fell asleep in the circumstances. But then the past days caught up to his foggy mind and he remembered Iruka was staying with him. With that figured out, he relaxed a lot more and enjoyed the warmth he felt from the man. He knew he shouldn't have- but he did. Warmth always affected the copy-nin. It reminded him of good times, and generally just felt nice. It was a sign of life, and fended off the cold chill of the night, rain, death, and everything else the jounin hated. He liked the rain, but if it was the cold that quickly shifted his feelings to hate. He involuntarily shivered as he remembered some of the cold things in his life. The warmth coming from the chuunin however, was something he was not accustomed to. As he fully awoke he couldn't truly decide how he felt being back to back with his friend. Regardless, he finally yawned, and realized he also didn't have his mask on. That fact disturbed him. 'I'm getting too comfortable with you, Iruka. I can't keep doing things like this. Even if it feels normal...' Even he knew the current position he was in was highly questionable to anyone in Konoha. 'I'm just so comfortable like this though,' he thought as he relaxed happily in the bed, even slightly pushing against his bed mate, getting ever closer. He firmly hit a mental wall, however, as he realized he was almost cuddling. 'No. Just, no.' was all he could think. It didn't make much sense, but it set off the desired alarms. He quickly stopped "cuddling" in disgust, and distantly enjoyed the warmth, without feeling anything for the chuunin.
After a time passed with the jounin enjoying the warmth and simplicity of the moment, he finally sighed as he mournfully got out of bed. As his back was exposed he felt a keen shiver, followed by the remaining warmth of his chuunin. 'Wait. Stop. Right there. 'my'? That's just wrong… you in no way have any claim on Iruka, and that's that.' Disturbed by his mind's passive thoughts, he elected to metaphorically strangle them, lock them in a cage, crush said cage with Earth jutsu, then finally leave it to be forgotten. He was extremely good at ignoring things in his head. He slid on his mask and glanced at the clock seeing it was 9:00am. His eyes widened as he realized Iruka should have awoken three hours ago. He immediately turned around, and as he was about to shake Iruka awake, stopped dead upon seeing the man's tan back. A very long diagonal scar made its mark from just underneath the chuunin's shoulder all the way down to the middle of the chuunin's back, and stopping just shy of the spine. Kakashi's eyes widened as he realized a Windmill Shuriken almost paralyzed Iruka, and an old bloody Windmill Shuriken was hanging in Iruka's room. Suddenly, based on his old observations when he first ate Ichiraku with the tanned man he remembered Iruka put less pressure on his upper back and sat down more hunched over the entire time. Now he knew why: the old wound left a permanent, almost unnoticeable injury. Upon looking at the scar closer he found it was only about a year- maybe a year-and-a-half old. For some reason he felt the urge to trace the scar. He knew it wasn't normal and only could sigh, 'Why do I feel like doing things like this with, and even to you?' he knew without thinking however, that it was simply because he wanted to do what the chuunin does: care. That- and quite simply, he was curious. No other reason besides he was curious. He however found his mental struggle was quickly getting far more difficult and detestable. Because of his curiosity however, he succumbed to his desire. He put on his mask in case the other man woke, and gently traced the scar with one finger. He could feel the raised skin of a 'newer' scar and felt something inside him clench. 'You almost died. I would have never known you…' with that realization it became even clearer to the man why he promised to protect Iruka. He was protecting himself as well. 'Honestly, how you've penetrated these walls of mine… It's like I'm an entirely new person. You're making me more human each day. Perhaps I can forget this demon someday.' The man's mind drifted off then, remembering all the hateful looks people gave him when he was younger, the darkness of every single mission, the lack of care for his well-being, everything. He found he was starting to shake and firmly shook his head.
Much to his surprise though, he felt the man stir, his finger was still lightly on the scar as well. 'Can't hide it now…' He pulled his hand away only when the chuunin looked at him from under tired eyes. "I got that from my old friend. Well- perhaps 'friend' isn't the right term… Honestly I can't figure out what to call him. He was a friend, lover, backstabber –literally—, and just, I have no clue." Kakashi could only raise his eyebrow in response. A story was the last thing he expected from the man. He actually expected a harsh reprimand and threat. The man sighed and finally turned to lie on his back, staring at the roof of his void apartment. "He was too many things for me that I can't figure out. However, a more prominent thing he always was to me, was a stress-inducer. Everything he did, absolutely everything, troubled me more. Why he brushed me off, why he was unhappy I didn't pass Naruto, why he hurt me so deeply, why he betrayed me, and even how he is doing in prison right now."
The jounin felt a great sympathy for his friend, he knew just from that one story Mizuki was one of the biggest parts of his life, and greatest influences. It also saddened him to a point, as to how someone could use hi- the chuunin. He also saw the moment Iruka realized chaos and impending doom were amiss. The man's entire body stiffened, his eyes widened, and he slowly- ever so slowly, looked at the clock. "Kakashi… Please, PLEASE tell me your clock is three hours and five minutes ahead."
Kakashi could only display his trademark smile, "It is three hours and five minutes ahead."
Iruka then threw the sheets off his frame, and promptly entered Kakashi's bathroom at alarming speed. To which the jounin just stared with both a very amused look and a thought in his head, 'Damn, emotions really do help you Iruka…' He really had no clue what he could do at the moment, but also realized he narrowly escaped being forced to explain himself to the chuunin, which he was only too happy for. 'Hmm, I wonder what happens at the academy to make you act like this?...' as he thought this he saw Iruka open the bathroom door, fully clothed in his uniform already and madly tending to his other hygienical needs. Kakashi could only watch transfixed at the speed in which the chuunin got ready. He looked at the clock and saw it was only 9:10am. "Maaa, Iruka, did you take a two second shower?"
The man only glared, "Yes. Add one-hundred-eighteen seconds to that."
Kakashi only laughed sheepishly as he watched the man, "hope you can make it in time Iruka."
The chuunin pinched the bridge of his nose in what Kakashi saw as an attempt to hold in anger, he realized he probably should stop teasing him so much. "Kakashi, I'm three hours and twelve minutes late, I'll be lucky if the academy isn't burned down yet. So sorry to leave so abruptly, but I. Have. To. Go." With that the man swiftly left, gathering all the things he could –and needed, of course- then running full-speed out of the apartment and to the academy. Kakashi widened his eyes as he realized that was probably at least jounin level speed. He couldn't help but smirk lightly in admiration of the young teacher.
'Well, I guess I need to get ready now and then head to Ichiraku for Iruka…' with that in mind he slowly got up and walked into his bathroom to get ready for the day.
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'Oh kami, what the hell is happening? First I sleep in his bed, then over-sleep in his bed only waking up when I felt my scar getting traced over, which is even worse because that was just… way too intimate.' The tanned man rubbed his forehead in great stress, unsure what Kakashi was doing, 'and to top it all off I tell Kakashi something about one of the most significant events in my life…' the chuunin let out a long groan and realized he was standing at the academy door for a good five minutes. He quickly remembered why he was originally so panicked and burst into his room after making his way through the halls.
What he saw made him remember exactly why he couldn't leave his brats alone. Practice Shuriken and Kunai were strewn and buried into each wall, there were several spots of burned out fire, and strange stickiness and other childish things everywhere. His eye twitched, as he spotted twenty small pairs of eyes staring at him in worry. He decided he should use his full 120% Iruka anger to scare them out of their wits and hope it's enough to make them hesitant next time. He let his eyes twitch, smiled sadistically, and let loose his full anger.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ALL ARE DOING?!" He hoped that to his students it looked like his head expanded to the size of his entire body and wind jutsu erupted from his mouth, because that's what he wanted. Much to his satisfaction everyone dropped everything and ran straight to their desks.
"Would someone care to explain to me why weapons are in the wall, fires were started, and-" he looked around for what else he could add, and much to his lack of surprise, found a tied up Kotetsu, "why in the world a teacher is tied up?" his eye twitched again as he hoped he wouldn't have to kill his students.
Shyly, an Inuzuka girl raised her hand. "Yes, Agar-chan?"
"B-because we misbehaved."
Iruka let his temper dim down considerably. "Yes you did. Naturally in the ninja world a punishment follows misconduct… so would someone please tell me why you misbehaved?..."
The girl spoke-up again, "Because we got bored."
Iruka sighed and shook his head as he knew that was the sad truth. "What do you believe is an appropriate punishment for this?" The brunet tried his best to treat his students like full-fledged shinobi, he knew it made them feel more adult and they appreciated it.
"Quiz day?" a voice chimed in.
"I think an early exam is better!"
"No, more homework!"
Soon his class started arguing with each other about the best punishment that they didn't entirely oppose, Iruka could only laugh softly as he knew they were very close to graduating. "Alright, alright, we're going to do a quiz in the form of review."
His class moaned in distaste, but he just laughed as he knew it could have been much worse, "Oh, and you are all going to clean the mess you made after that!"
He smiled in satisfaction as they all groaned in protest. "So, what is the best way to conserve chakra in a chase?"
His class answered in unison: "set-up explosive tags and traps as quickly and easily as you can to distract them, then use shadow clones to fight them off if it isn't working. The mix of distractions will allow you to slowly get ahead of them whilst using minimal chakra."
The teacher could only smile happily as he was finally getting through to them, -a quick glance around his class made him realize it was only barely though- but an improvement was an improvement. He continued testing his class (untying and letting Kotetsu go in the process), as the time passed easily. Soon he realized it was a bit past the time he usually let them out, so after they answered his final question he dismissed them.
"Alright, go take a break. And remember Konohamaru-kun, I'll find you," he said threateningly.
The young boy laughed awkwardly and nodded. He watched as his class filed out for the lunch break and finally sat down in his chair heavily. He realized he had nothing to eat and could only groan sadly as he let his forehead hit his desk.
"You look like crap," the chuunin heard from his class window.
The chuunin could only laugh as he looked up to see a fully clothed and ready for the day Kakashi. "Hello Kakashi," he said with a tired smile.
"Yo!" the man said cheerily.
Iruka let out a long-suffering sigh but attempted to keep his smile up, "Yeah, I feel like it."
The jounin frowned unhappily as he set the Ichiraku bag down on the teacher's desk, "Didn't sleep well then?" he said with a sullen look.
The teacher took the bag very gratefully and quickly fished out his food, "I actually slept better than I usually do. I just didn't sleep long enough."
Kakashi bit his response that he went several days without sleep often and instead substituted an, "Oh. I see."
Iruka smiled tiredly again as he broke his chopsticks, saying the common 'thanks' and dug in. Kakashi watched the man as he ate, trying to figure him out even if he could just ask the teacher. 'Why would you stand up to jounin without fear?' He sighed to himself as the man ate, thinking about how he always ordered the jounin around in the mission room, demanded reports to be correctly done, not backing down when a jounin talked –or yelled— at him. He couldn't figure it out.
"Thank you very much for this Kakashi. It actually means a lot you helped me so much. It's sorta' my fault for sleeping in," he laughed to himself deprecatingly.
"You're welcome. And, ah- so why were you so erm- fast? This morning?"
"Kakashi, you don't look at your surroundings often when in the village, do you?"
Kakashi in turn only raised a brow as he shook his head, but took the hint and looked around. To his surprise he saw the chaotic state of the room. His mind added that paying attention to scenery would actually lower his guard as opposed to being aware of himself and his book.
"Iruka, how do you live through the academy work every day?"
The chuunin smiled mischievously, "You get it now?"
The jounin raised his brow in confusion, but realized Iruka meant this was exactly why he was so well-conditioned for a chuunin.
"Ah… yeah, I think so 'Ruka."
The brunette only raised an eyebrow and shrugged off the pet name- this time. That did remind him however, "Kakashi? Why were you tracing my scar this morning," the chuunin asked slowly wondering if he should have even broached the subject.
The jounin in turn stiffened and looked away trying not to let his emotion show, "I just… I don't know. Can we not talk about this?" he asked in reply, not wanting to think about it.
"I want to know."
Kakashi's hands clenched on their own, 'You gotta' try and answer him. He deserves at least that from everything you've done.' "I guess it just," he paused trying to find the right words, "interested me. I wanted to see how it would feel, I suppose." He managed after a long pause. He couldn't look at the chuunin and favored staring at a charred spot on the floor.
Iruka in turn only stared at the man, trying to figure out a way to react properly. "Y-you, haven't had much physical contact have you?" as soon as he said it had to keep himself from bashing his head in the wall as he remembered the man barely hugged him, and the first time he did stiffened entirely, as it was unwelcome.
The masked man only shook his head in reply.
"I see…" was all the scarred chuunin managed as he finished eating his food. He decided to leave it at that. "Ah, Kakashi, how'd you sleep?"
"Eh. As well as usual…"
"Oh."
"I'm hungry…"
"Why didn't you get anything then?" the tanned man replied with a slight laugh.
"I did."
Iruka widened his eyes as he realized he was keeping the man from eating, "oh. Well just eat now then. I'll busy myself with grading. Say, you didn't get the stack of papers I had on the table for today, did you?"
Kakashi widened his eyes in panic, "No."
"Oh. It's fine. I can really get those back to the kids whenever, so I'll just do so tomorrow. Wait a second…"
The masked man in turn let out a quiet sigh of relief.
The academy teacher then realized they were also in a quite public place. A window, and school filled with teachers was just inviting Kakashi to be seen. With that he closed the window's blinds so that it was more secluded.
"So that's why you weren't eating… well, you're free to now Kakashi."
The man only smiled cheerily through his mask. "Alright," he said as he sat away from Iruka –on his desk of course—, sliding his mask down and eating the take-out he got from Teuchi. He heard Iruka idly marking papers.
"You always grade? It seems like it."
"Yeah."
"Ah…"
Soon the jounin finished after a comfortable and extended silence, slid his mask back on, and turned towards the teacher.
"Well, I think it's time for the kids to be back, so I'll let myself out now. Thank you Iruka."
"See ya' soon Kakashi," the tan man replied with a smile and small wave.
Kakashi happily returned it as he poofed away.
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The silver-haired man arrived in his apartment again, still bored. However he let a smile grace his features as he realized Iruka didn't seem too upset at his accidental curiosity this morning. Unfortunately, upon sitting on his couch he realized he was still plagued by an annoying problem: there was still nothing to do. He let out a groan as he stared at his featureless white ceiling. His life was so cold and featureless like that ceiling. He felt it complimented him in a twisted sort-of way. The man's eyes widened as he realized he really shouldn't stay in his apartment unless he was getting distracted- either by sleep, Iruka, or his ninken. 'I have to get out of this place… or at least make it tolerable somehow…'
The man then started thinking about Iruka's apartment: why it felt so warm and nice compared to his. He knew the pictures helped, and the well-used kitchen and furniture, but besides that he really couldn't think of anything else. He frowned at that and decided he'd have to ask Iruka himself which he knew would be painful.
'I'll train now, get my mind in a nice sort of trance…' with that decided he left his apartment and rushed quickly towards the training fields. He elected to take the rooftops to speed the process along, and soon arrived somewhat out of breath. The fact he was out of breath made him realize he had to lightly train, instead of his normal routine. The man then entered a sort of trance most jounin had, and easily began performing several taijutsu moves, throwing shuriken and kunai blindly, and also fighting for his life against invisible opponents. With his first training set done he then moved on to summon a shadow clone and trained against himself. It wasn't optimal, but for the situation and his current state, was good enough. He also avoided blows of great strength as that would cause him far more pain than necessary. He continued training with ease for an extended period of time, when he was finally out of breath he broke his trance and breathed slowly and deeply, sweating profusely.
The jounin smiled as he felt more relaxed and generally better, then saw it was almost dark, which made him decide to quickly head home hoping to meet Iruka either on the way, when he got home, or very soon after he got home. 'My life is starting to revolve around you now Iruka, and that's more than just a little bad. I can't have that. I may not be in ANBU any longer, but I am still an elite jounin!' the thought annoyed him to no end as he realized he was still fighting against putting hi- the chuunin in danger. 'What am I going to do? Not to mention I need to find something to do so I don't start overwhelming Iruka with my constant presence…' the silver-haired man could only sigh in annoyance as he realized thinking was beginning to get too troublesome. With that fact known, he decided to simply stop thinking altogether and just relax and attempt to enjoy the chuunin's presence- if he showed.
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The jounin finally arrived in his apartment, unfortunately not seeing the chuunin at all, on the way or starting dinner- not that he expected to, but he did hope. He finally just sighed and maneuvered his way to the couch, not bothering to turn on the light to remind him of his loneliness. As he sat, his thoughts drifted to his first year in ANBU, the year he got his first mission to seduce and retrieve, the year he lost his virginity. The thought sickened him now, 'you lost it all to Konoha, Hatake. Quite pathetic. Are you that blindly loyal? You lost your childhood, emotions, one of the greatest gifts to a lover, even your friends.' The thoughts disturbed him, 'you need to stop being so negative.'
"But everything is true, isn't it?" his mind retorted, rebellingly. "You've lost so much and gained sooo very little. Why do you think you're clinging to this useless academy teacher? You think you care about him? No, you only care about yourself."
Kakashi shivered, usually his mind and inner Kakashi wasn't this cruel… 'You aren't useless, Iruka. You care about me. You've saved me, even.'
"Pathetic. Stop trying to comfort yourself in the face of so-" his cruel mind stopped briefly, finding the right word, "little. Nothing."
Kakashi shook his head and barred his thoughts, or at least the inner Kakashi. He was getting very cold again, like his apartment, the bodies of so many slain, the icy fear of death. Kakashi didn't fear death itself, no, he just was afraid of how it could happen at any moment, the second he let his guard down. He rubbed his arms in a futile attempt to warm himself. The cold always made him feel so weak, it made him feel sick and angered him at the same time. He always felt so bitter. The cold was probably one of the worst things Kakashi always dealt with. The man was now shivering violently; he blindly went into his room and pulled off the blanket, wrapping himself in it. That felt somewhat better, but he was still shivering as he returned to the couch. As the man sat and continued shaking, he saw the light turn on, temporarily blinding him, then smiled to himself as he saw Iruka.
Iruka knew something was wrong the second he saw Kakashi in his blanket. "Kakashi? Are you okay?"
The jounin smiled in reply, "Yeah. I'm just a bit cold Iruka."
Iruka wasn't convinced. "Jounin can handle the cold for an extended period of time."
"Doesn't mean we like it."
Iruka frowned, noticing the slight tremors Kakashi had- heavily suppressed by the ninja, though. "You're shaking Kakashi."
"I'm fine, Iruka," the Sharingan user said, though Iruka could tell it was with force and the stubborn jounin was no longer smiling.
'I should probably back off, but I'm worried now. Jounin rarely shake.' Iruka in turn let his eyes narrow a bit, intending to handle Kakashi like he would a pre-genin. "No you're not, what's wrong?"
"I told you, nothing." This time Iruka could feel the bite of his words.
"Never stop lying, do you?" the chuunin replied with a slightly twisted smirk. "Jounin only shake for three reasons: a break down, chakra depletion, and being sick. You're getting upset, -and I apologize for invading your privacy- therefore you are likely breaking down. However little."
The jounin bit his lip until it hurt, he didn't want to yell at the teacher, but he was getting so angry. He finally settled on looking away and staring at the ceiling. 'Didn't you say you'd open up to him? Now's the perfect time, Kakashi.' He didn't want too though. He wanted to keep his feelings locked up. Breakdowns simply were not good, but he was so cold…
"I hate the cold, Iruka," he managed after an extended silence.
"Why?"
"It reminds me of too much, and never seems to go away…" the jounin trailed off, but to him his voice sounded barely audible.
Iruka could barely hear, only because he dealt with his students for so long. His eyes softened as he recognized a tone of desperation in the jounin's words.
" Kakashi, it's alright. You haven't felt the cold in a while, what were you up too at those times?"
"I was with you," the man mumbled quietly again, seeming almost ashamed.
Iruka smiled sadly as he knew his friend was in pain. "Stop shivering, it's alarming."
Kakashi could only look back at the chuunin with a look in his eyes that the brunette knew meant something along the lines of 'I wish I could.'
Wordlessly, the chuunin sat on the couch and slid himself into the blanket with the man, "Better?"
The jounin nodded, though Iruka felt a few light shivers. He knew he'd probably regret it, but he silently took the man into his arms, letting his warmth help the copy-nin. As time passed, the jounin eventually relaxed into the crook of Iruka's neck, much to the teacher's surprise. Regardless he held the man. "Kakashi, it's alright. I can help," the brunette said.
"I've killed so many people, Iruka… I'm not worth it," Kakashi managed, wondering why his voice was so weak all of a sudden. He felt exposed, but not as cold with the chuunin there. "You're being pathetic you know, you are so much stronger than this." 'But am I? Hiding my emotions sounds weak to me when they affect me so much.' The jounin managed a small smile as the annoying voice in his head didn't reply.
"Kakashi, you're a person, and you obviously have a lot of care inside of you. You deserve as much as the next shinobi. I've seen how kind you are, today and last night was a prime example. I'm thankful for the things you do for me. And remember your genin team? You did everything you could for them for their first year. I know you have a lot of care inside of you. Stop thinking of your past mistakes, what matters is how you treat others now."
Kakashi in turn could only sigh, not believing the kind man's words, but not disbelieving them either. As the time passed he found the warmth of Iruka was very pleasant, and he wasn't shivering anymore. He even felt a little sleepy. He soon found himself pulled out of the pleasant feeling when Iruka stood up and got out of the blanket. "Um, Kakashi, I still have classes. Thanks for everything you did today, though: it means a lot. But you should probably get to bed now," the man said smiling pleasantly.
"Maaa, alright. I trained today."
Iruka seemed a bit surprised, but said nothing otherwise.
"I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"
The masked man nodded idly and proceeded to his room, he felt considerably warmer, but found he actually somewhat missed Iruka's presence, and even warmth near him. As he fell asleep surprisingly easily, he thought of what the chuunin said: "You deserve as much as the next shinobi." He could only ask himself one thing, though, 'Do I?...'
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A/N: TADA! More fluff for you! Not the best chapter, but it came out way better than expected. And I'm pleased to announce we need only 41 more reviews! I didn't actually expect this much. Thank you so much guys! :,) Hope you guys are liking, or even loving! This story! Also, I am sorry for the relatively short length, -compared to a few chapters- but I really couldn't think of much more to add. Thanks for sticking with it. =D I'll try my best to keep up to my once-a-month updating. This story is now being written chapter by chapter. : / I haven't planned it out any further. Maybe if I did I could get the chapters out much faster…? Hmmm…
Rodrigo: *hands out cookies to reviewers* I love it when people like my story.
Lover: *glares at the bunny, saying nothing*
To my guest reviewer: thank you very much! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too. =)
