XII:
"You didn't have to come with me," Elsie said quietly as Charles parked the car. "I know you've got a lot on this week, and you didn't have to –"
"Stuff and nonsense," Charles said, taking her hand in his and squeezing it. "I am glad to be here with you, my love. And I am glad to offer you anything you need."
Elsie was still shaken after identifying Becky's body, after discussing arrangements with a funeral parlor for a cremation, after a hasty lunch at a tea shop where Charles had all but force fed her tea and dry, disgusting scones. She couldn't stop the harsh words from leaving her lips, but she felt guilty as they did. "I need my sister back, but you can't do anything about that, now, can you?"
He hesitated a moment, then sighed. "No, I can't. I would if I could, even though I know how frustrated and angry you were with her. I would give you everything you've ever wanted if it was within my capability to grant it, Els, and you know that."
She swallowed hard and squeezed his hand. "I do know that," she whispered. "I do, Charlie. I'm sorry – I didn't mean to –"
"Grief is a terrible thing," he murmured. "I don't envy you any of this, Elsie."
"I'm not going to leave her in school all the way up here by herself," Elsie sighed, rubbing her forehead tiredly as she looked across the car park toward the mansion that served as the school. "I'm responsible for her now – the least I can do is stay here till things are squared away and after that, I don't know."
"I hope it won't take very long to do what needs doing," Charles said gently.
She blinked and looked over at him. "I… Charles, if you want your ring back – if you want to call it off… I won't be offended. You didn't ask for any of this."
"For better or for worse," he intoned softly. "Elspeth Hughes, you aren't getting rid of me because you're frightened. This is definitely the worse portion of the deal. The better portion is when we're feeding each other cheese and wine and cuddling in bed. And just… you being there at all." He tightened his grip on her hand and sighed. "I love you and I want to marry you as soon as possible, if you're amenable. I want to help you with Gwen. I want to help with the shop. I want you to stop worrying about the rent and where dinner is coming from. I need you to understand that I am not just going to leave because everyone else has done. I am here for the long haul – the rest of our lives."
"I'm sorry – I'm fifty-two and you'd think I'd have my shit together by now," Elsie breathed.
"You've been too busy maintaining everyone else's shit," Charles said bluntly. "Let me focus on you, love."
"She's only fourteen years old," Elsie sighed, nervously running her hands through her hair. "Our Gwen, I mean. And she's never known her da – hell, I don't even know who her da was. Becky was very hush-hush about her mistakes until they backfired and exploded in her face. So she's only ever had me mam, Becky, and me… and there's no way she's going to be okay with this. No way at all."
"It will be an adventure, that's for sure –"
"Charlie, every day of her life has been an adventure. She's never known any kind of stability till I sent her away to school… and now we're just going to uproot her and take her god only knows where and –"
"Elsie," he said softly, "calm down. It will be all right."
"I'm all she has left."
"No," he said, voice firm and low. "We are what she has, and we will be the best parents we can be for her. We're a team, you and I. We have to face it all together, don't we?"
She hesitated, bit her lip, then nodded. "I don't want to go in there."
"We don't have a choice, love."
"No, I suppose not," she murmured. "They have her waiting in the Headmistress's office. I'm sure she knows something has happened."
"I think it would be very obvious at that point," he said softly.
She squeezed his hand once more and released it. She got her handbag and opened the car door. "I love you, Charles," she murmured as they closed up and locked the car.
"Come here," he instructed gently. He tucked her arm around his and held her securely. "I love you, too, Elspeth Hughes – my Elsie. I am sorry I can't meet your Gwen under better circumstances, but I want to help you both."
Elsie sighed and tightened her hold on his arm as they walked. "I've always said I never wanted children," she said quietly, "but if I'd have been able to, I would have had them with you, Charles. So… I know you'll do right by our Gwen."
He gently patted her hand. "I'll do my best."
"Thank you for that, Charlie," she whispered.
Ten minutes later, they were being ushered into the Headmistress's office, where Gwen was seated on one side of the desk and the Headmistress on the other. Elsie faltered and was unprepared for Gwen to get up and rush her. "Auntie Els," Gwen whispered, "did she… is she?"
Elsie nodded and whispered, "Aye, lass, she finally did this time."
Gwen swallowed hard and started to cry. "I don't suppose she ever thought about me –"
"No, love, you can't think like that," Elsie murmured. "She held on for your sake for so many years. She tried so hard to be the best mam she could, but it wasn't enough, was it?"
"What's going to happen to me now?" Gwen asked, sounding lost and scared.
"You'll come to London with me," Elsie said gently, "and we'll find you a new school –"
"I've got a few connections," Charles spoke up. "I can shake a tree and see what vines come down."
Gwen lifted her head and looked at him with no small amount of suspicion. "Who are you?" she asked.
Elsie immediately deflected them. "This is Charles, my fiancé. Charles, this is Gwen, my niece. Gwen… we'll be moving in with Charlie as soon as we pack up you and your mum's things, if he'll have us."
"I would be delighted," Charles said, "to host such lovely ladies in my home."
Gwen glared at her aunt. "What about Beryl?"
Elsie sighed. "She's been going on and on about how I need to be happy and take like by the horns and… I think she'll be all right on her own."
"You can't just do that to her, though – she depends on you, she'll be lonely," Gwen protested, eyeing Charles like he was a predator. "I don't know him. How could you ask me to live with him?"
Elsie swallowed hard and looked at the Headmistress. "I'm withdrawing Gwen from school, effective immediately," she said. "I expect a refund for all fees not used thus far in the school year so they might be put toward a new school in London. I am sorry about the inconvenience, but we will be returning to London tomorrow and I am not leaving Gwen behind."
"Yes, Ms. Hughes –"
Gwen sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "This isn't fair, Auntie Els."
"Life isn't fair, love," Elsie said gently. "How you and I both know that all too well."
Charles cleared his throat. "I can help you load your things into the car when you've packed, Gwen," he said softly, in a very gentlemanly way.
"Why are you marrying Elsie? You're old."
"Gwen!"
Charles held up his hand and said, "I want to marry your aunt because she is a wonderful woman I've come to love very, very much. She is the most beautiful woman in the world to my eyes, and I would never see her harmed. And I hope that, in time, you will allow me to act as an uncle toward you, Gwen."
"So I don't even get a say now?" Gwen asked. "I just have to pack up and come with you?"
Elsie exhaled and closed her eyes. "I'm sure part of you always wondered what would happen if your mam went away, and now it's happened," she said softly, evenly. "I can't promise to be a better mam than she was – only that I will try to do my best by you. And Charlie is part of my life now, and I won't see you mistreat him, Gwen. I won't stand for it."
"Do you know how many times I wished you'd take me home with you?" Gwen asked brokenly. "And now that it's happening – I don't want to go."
"I know, love," Elsie whispered. "I know. They're cremating your mam in the morning and we're going to say a few words and then clean out the flat. There's not much there."
Gwen sniffled miserably and shook her head. "She sold everything that would fetch money," she mumbled. "Even my clothes and the furniture."
Charles sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Well, we'll have to get you the things that you need," he said, "but that won't be a problem. Do you want help packing your things here? I will help."
"I've got to take care of the paperwork," Elsie murmured. "Charles will go help you, love. I promise you with all my heart that everything will be all right soon."
Gwen nodded and gestured for Charles to follow her.
They ate cockles and periwinkles at a little restaurant near the hotel Charles had arranged for. It seemed odd, suddenly being responsible for someone other than themselves, but Elsie had let Gwen take charge in most of their decisions for the night. Where they ate, which bed Gwen would sleep on in their hotel suite, whether or not they would have dessert up in the room after dinner. Things like that. Hings that made the young woman feel a little more in control of her world.
She looked so small and fragile, much moreso than the last time Elsie had seen her. And Elsie vowed to herself softly that she would do whatever it took to bring a smile back onto her niece's face.
Charles, for his part, encouraged them both in the small things that made them happy. Even a small squeeze of Elsie's hand beneath the table was enough.
They headed back to the hotel after dinner, and Gwen disappeared into the bathroom for a long soak in the tub. Elsie and Charles settled in on the couch and turned on the television to cover up the sounds of their talking.
"You want to move in?" Charles asked.
"Well… I mean, we're getting married and it seems counterproductive not to be in the same place now that I've got Gwen to look after," she sighed. "It just seems like everything is moving so quickly – please don't ask me to pin down a date for the wedding –"
"How about next week?" he asked.
"To move in? I might be able to manag-"
"No," he said, "to get married. Everything will be easier if we are, from a legal standpoint –"
"Charles, I love you, but no," she said. "I feel like I'm going to break and I can't bear the thought of throwing something else onto the pile. It's not going to happen, love."
He sighed. "I really want to take you in there and make you forget your troubles…"
"Gwen," she reminded him gently.
"We're never going to have sex again, are we?" he asked with a frown.
"Not till we get home," she scolded, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," he whispered into her hair. "It's not enough… but you're welcome."
