The most glamorous comeback of the year!
Troy and Gabriella Bolton were seen at the Royal Albert Hall watching a ballet performance. While Troy was wearing an Armani suit, his wife chose a long sleeve laced Valentino dress in black as well. The couple didn't stop at the red carpet to take pictures, but were later caught in several conversations by the press inside the Royal Albert Hall. Married life seems to suit the scandalous couple as they were both sparkling. Both seemed to enjoy their first public outing since the birth of their baby back in April. Nevertheless, they left the ballet performance earlier - not without getting caught by the paparazzi. The married couple seemed very much in love as Troy was seen carrying his wife down the stairs (picture on the right).
"Gabriella!" I hear my husband calling my name from the bathroom. Putting on one of his shirts, I walk out of the closet. It's early, yet the Bolton household is already wide awake. Adaline has already had her breakfast while Troy went out for a run. I rush into the bathroom and stop as I see him standing in the shower, wearing Armani briefs and a grey shirt. He has already showered as his hair is still damp. I feel my body reacting with stress to the image. A shower… He's standing in a shower.
"It's time." his voice is soft and calm.
I shake my head, "No…"
"You can't hide in our fucking room when there's a storm happening outside this house for the rest of your life. You need to face this fear."
"No…"
"Yes. You are afraid of the rain. Sometimes the rain makes things so bad that you won't take a shower. You haven't showered in six weeks. You bathed."
"I can bath for the rest of my life."
"Gabriella…"
"It'll go away. When the rain stops it'll go away, I'll be fine."
"Being ok when it doesn't rain isn't the same as being fine."
"I used to push everyone away. I used to run away from every conflict. I used to feel nothing when I looked at our daughter. Right now I don't shower. When the rain stops, I will take a shower. I'm fine."
He sighs before walking over to the window. He opens the milky glassed window, revealing a sunny day. "It doesn't rain now. It rains in your head. It always rains in your head and it will continue raining in your head until you get yourself together and take a step into our shower."
"Please don't make me do that."
"I'm trying to help. I don't want you to be okay. I want you to be fine. I want you to be standing under a freaking shower head with water running down your body without feeling the urge to run into our fucking room and lock yourself in it."
"I'd take Adaline with me and you know it."
"Yes I do, because you did it the last time I wasn't home. But I am done with waking up in an empty bed because my wife hides in a room that has no windows." he walks over to me, his body full of tension. He places his hands on my shoulders, his glance not leaving mine. He's serious. As serious as he can be. "You need help and I am offering it to you."
I bite my lip, "Dr. Wyatt-"
"Dr. Wyatt doesn't see what I see. Dr. Wyatt doesn't feel what I feel. Dr. Wyatt can't help you the way I can. Do you want my help?"
"I…"
"Gabriella, do you want my help?"
"Yes."
He closes his eyes and exhales, "Good." he says before leaving me alone in the bathroom. My eyes wander to the end of the marbled room. I used to love taking showers. I used to love feeling the water running down at me, the prickling feeling when hot water touched my skin… Now, now I feel a panic attack coming every time I hear rain. I thought he would make me go under the shower head. I thought he'd force me. I thought he'd guide me through my panic attack. But he left. He left me alone in this big bathroom with that scary shower. I exhale, no that's not going to happen today.
Suddenly, he appears next to me in the bathroom again, holding up a transparent umbrella.
"What is this?" I ask him confused, yet I get the hint.
"We will get into that shower with a protection shield." he holds up the umbrella.
"I don't think this is a good idea."
He sighs, "You want my help and now let me guide you through this. What you feel is common for those who suffered from waterboarding. You don't have to be ashamed of it but we do need to fix this problem.", he holds up his hand "I need my wife back."
"Troy…"
"Give me my wife back."
I sigh before I take his hand. We walk over to the the shower with the glass door. The rain shower head is shining in silver. He opens the glass door and steps in. I let go of his hand as I feel a shiver going down my spine.
"I'm not turning the water on." he promises me.
I shake my head as I feel tears building in my eyes, "I can't…"
He places the umbrella against the marble wall in our shower before taking both of my hands, "You can do this. You are strong enough."
I shake my head, my lips are now shaking. I hold tight on the doorknob of the glass door. I can't take a step into this shower…"No, I can't…"
He fingers brush through my hair, "I believe in you."
I feel a tear rolling down my cheek as his lips touch mine. His kiss is soft, full of tenderness and love. I forget everything around me as I surrender in his kiss and my feelings for him. My hand lets go of the doorknob before I brush through his silky hair as I deepen the kiss. Suddenly, I feel his hand on my hips lifting my body before I feel steady ground beneath me again. Abruptly, I let go of his lips. Everything I forgot for a moment starts coming back to me. My breath quickens as I notice where I am. I am standing in the shower. Under the silver shinning rain shower head.
"You…" my lips start shaking, "you tricked me into this." I breathe out, feeling the urge to run and hide in our fucking room again.
But his grip on my arms stop me, "I'm here."
My glance meets his and I bite my lip, "Please don't make me stay. Let me go."
"I'll be damned if I ever let you go. I need to fix you. You need to be fixed. You need to overcome your fears… You need this as much as I do." his hand reaches out for the umbrella. "So, leave the door open or close it?"
I look to my left, seeing the open glass door. My escape. "We'll float the whole bathroom if we leave the door open."
"I don't care. But if you need an open door, a way to run, while there's water running down then we will leave the freaking door open." his voice is soft, yet his words are not. "Open or closed?"
"Open." I say before looking at him.
"Okay." he agrees with me before opening the transparent umbrella. "Ready?"
"No." I say but he turns on the water anyway. I hear the water clashing against the umbrella. It's loud… it's so loud… I feel panic overcoming me and I try to release myself from my husband's embrace. "Let me out! Let me out!" I start screaming as panic overcomes me. It's getting harder for me to breathe. I try to not close my eyes, I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember…
"I'm here…" he whispers into my ear as my body starts shaking, reacting to the stress. His arm around my body holds me tight. It should give me comfort. I feel tears building in my eyes as I focus on the open glass door. Water is floating out of the shower and I have the urge to run and hide in the fucking room again. Our feet start getting wet as water starts collecting on the floor.
Suddenly, I feel the grip of my husband's embrace releasing and for a moment I want to use it as my advantage. But to my surprise his hand closes the glass door, blocking my exit.
"I want to get out." I say with tears rolling down my face as memories of my torture starts crossing my mind. I close my eyes. My fingers wrap around his wrist. I want to get out. I need to get out of the water. My finger nails start digging into his wrist. He won't listen to my cries. He has heard all versions in the last weeks. "Please, let me out…" I beg him as I open my eyes. His bright blue orbs look into mine, realizing what he's doing me. He's torturing me not less than they did.
"Fine." he says, turning the water off. I can see the sorrow in his eyes as he closes the umbrella. I shiver as I open the door and get out of the shower. I barely make it out I notice as I suddenly fall to the ground. I tuck my knees in and lean against the free standing bath tub I got to known so well in the last six week. "Don't you ever do this to me again!" I yell at him, hearing the echo of my voice. "You don't need to fucking fix me!"
My eyes watch my husband mirroring my position, as he gets seated on the floor as well. Unlike me, he decided to sit down in the wet shower with the umbrella behind him. This is not what I call leaving me alone - this is the opposite.
"I'm sorry." he apologizes. I can see his guilt reflecting in his eyes.
He should be. "What are you doing?" I ask him confused.
"I'm going to sit here until you decide to give me another chance and take a step into this shower." he bits his lips, "I won't eat or sleep before you join me."
I frown, "You're protesting?"
"Yes."
"That will turn just into another disaster."
"Maybe… maybe not." he leans against the marble wall, his bright blue eyes looking at me.
"I won't take a step into that shower ever again."
"Okay. We can destroy it with a hammer and build a new one in." he offers.
I shake my head in disbelief.
"But that won't be a solution to your problem, since we have six other showers in this house." he starts, "Six other potential panic attacks that is."
"I won't step into the shower."
"You will because you love me." his words are full of faith in me.
I bite my lip, "My love for you won't save me this time."
"It saved you when you got tortured. It will save you again."
I brush through my hair before tightening the grip around my legs. "I won't do it."
"Okay, then I won't move."
"What if your work calls?"
"I won't move."
"What if Adaline awakes and wants to see you?"
His lips form a thin line, "I'm not going to move."
"You will and you know it. One emergency and you're out of there sooner than you can take another blink."
He sighs, "Gabriella, you are the only emergency I have right now."
"I am fine."
"You are not fine. You hide in a room that is meant for pleasure."
"I took Adaline with me!" I protest.
"You wince every time there is water dropping. You let me run your baths and only come in when the tub is full and there are no bubbles. You don't enjoy bathing. You do it because you have to. You are not fine."
"Fine! I am not fine! Is this what you want from me? I have a problem! I am traumatized! I am a fucking wreck and fucking afraid of rain! Because it makes me feel like dying all over again. Is that what you want from me? To admit I have a problem?"
"No, I want you to take a step into this shower." his voice is calm, his eyes filled with pride as he sees what I see: we're having a breakthrough.
"I've said it before: I won't step into this shower."
"I could force you again. I could seduce you to take a step into this. But I won't. Because it won't help. You need to want to get into this shower in order to solve this problem. You need to want this."
"But I don't."
"Which is why we will sit here until you do."
"Fine." I agree with him, leaning against the tub. My eyes meet his and we just stare at each other. I can hear the birds singing outside our house, but inside of me it's raining. It's just like he said. Inside of me it's always raining. It's a stormy, cloudy, rainy time right now. It scares the shit out of me. I am not longer welcomed by the silence I had the last hours I was tortured, no I hear constant rain. I feel the constant edge of death. And. I. Can't. Stop. The. Rain.
Suddenly, I hear his phone ringing in the bedroom. It's probably his office wondering where th hell he is. Usually by this time he is already conducting his empire with his brother by his side. "Your phone is ringing."
"I know. I can hear that."
I raise an eyebrow at him, "Don't you wanna get it?"
"No." his features are relaxed, his lips form a small smile as the ringing stops. "It's not as important as this is."
Suddenly, my phone rings in our bedroom. "Unlike you, I plan to answer my phone." I say as I rise from the floor. I walk through the marbled bathroom and over to the nightstand where my phone is. Looking at the display before I pick up, I know it's Lucas who is calling.
"Where is he?"
"I believe Troy won't make it to the office today." I say as I walk back into the bathroom. My husband raises his eyebrow at me.
"We have an important meeting in an hour. It requires both of us."
"Well, guess this meeting will be held with only one Bolton brother then." I say as I get seated on the floor again. This time I sit down right in front of the open glass door of the shower. My husband straightens his posture before leaning forward. I lean back as I know he wants to get my phone in his hands.
"He better be busy with something important."
"I told him I am fine, but he thinks otherwise." I say back.
"She's afraid of rain! She's having panic attacks!" Troy calls into the phone.
"This is about you?" Lucas voice is soft and calm out of the sudden.
I bite my lip, "Yes."
"Okay. I'll reschedule the meeting. When do you think he can make it?"
"Whenever he takes a step out of the shower."
"He's showering?!" Lucas' voice is full of anger. "Why the hell is he showering?! He won't be under the shower for the whole day, will he?"
"I think that's the plan."
"And he thinks I am irresponsible." with that Lucas hangs up.
I rise from the floor and place the phone on the window sill. I take a peek outside, seeing the shining sun, the blue sky and the singing birds. There's sunshine, happiness outside… while there's still rain inside of me. I sigh before I turn around. "I think you're going to face a very angry Lucas whenever this is over." I say as I sit down across him - outside the shower.
"He'll understand." his voice is full of faith and his smile is bright.
"I don't have your patience. I can't sit here all day doing nothing."
"We're not doing nothing. We working on your issues."
"This is not going to work." I say again, brushing through my hair.
"I'm sorry for torturing you. I didn't mean to... I want to help you." His voice is a whisper that echoes in my bones.
I meet his glance, feeling my heart sink to the floor. "I surrendered when they waterboarded me. When they abused me... I thought of you and me... and everything in between."
"Tell me of what you thought of."
There's a smile on my lips, "Random sceneries... nothing special."
"Everything with us is special."
"I thought of that one morning... you woke me up by kissing me and I wondered what I did to deserve you. Up until today I ask myself this question. You told me you wanted to wake up next to me for the rest of your life. I believed you. Like I always did and still do. Your words touched something in me that goes beyond any words. Sometimes your words and your eyes... you touch a part of me that no one else ever will."
He smiles at me, "You have the same effect on me."
"You never told me."
"I never felt the need to. I thought you knew. I thought... you felt it."
"I did. I always do. It's why I knew you loved me when you couldn't say it back."
"Am I an open book to you?"
A laughter escapes my lungs, "I am still trying to reveal the mystery Troy Bolton is. I think this is a task of life. And maybe beyond that."
He smiles, "I'm happy to never bore you."
"You can carve that in stone."
"Well, I can happily inform you that your name should be right next to mine then."
I raise an eyebrow at him, "I am a mystery?"
"Not a mystery but surely a task of life."
"You signed up for that."
"Oh yes I did and I will never regret this decision. In fact, it was the best decision of my life."
"I agree with you on that one."
"Do you want me to built a panic room?"
I lean back a little, "It wouldn't solve my problem, would it?"
"But it would solve my problem."
"Which is?"
"You using our fucking room as a hideaway. You use a room for pleasure as your sanctuary."
I shrug, "I feel safe in there."
"And you should. But you shouldn't hide in there from the world and the rain in your head."
I sigh before stretching out my feet. I watch my husband mirroring me and our feet meet right at the door frame. "We'll be sitting here for days..."
"Then we're going to sit here for days." He says, folding his hands.
"I won't step into the shower." I say looking at our connected feet.
"Okay, then I won't move until you do."
I look up at his eyes, "Why do you have so much patience with me?"
He tilts his head to the side, "You are the love of my life. You walked through hell more than anyone should. You survived abuse, raping, a shooting, a kidnapping… torture. I've seen what they did to you. Things so horrible that it made me want to kill them all over again. You are the strongest woman I'll ever know. You say I give you strength, when it's the other way around. You are the strong one in our relationship."
I bite my lip, fighting the urge to cry. "Yet I don't have the strength to step into a shower."
"Which is why we're here. You've never struggled with big problems. You can take any task with any risk, yet you fail at smaller ones. It's your weakness. I want to turn it into your strength."
I sigh, "What did I do to deserve you, Troy Bolton?"
"I ask myself this question every day." he answers back.
I bite my lip, "I can't step into that shower... I can't."
"Gabriella," he starts out of the sudden, his bright blue eyes focusing mine, "From the day we met, I knew I wanted to get married to you. I felt the bond which connects us right away. I fell in love with you right away, truly understanding that love at first sight does exist. You see my mistakes, my biggest flaws and yet you stay. You know my worst sides. You are the best side of me."
"Troy, stop..." I say as I remember his vows to me. "Don't..." I feel tears building in my eyes as I shake my head, trying to fight the emotions.
"With you, I feel complete. With you, I am myself. I promise to never run from you, if anything I run with you wherever you want me to. I vow that I will safeguard and hold dear and deep in my heart our union and you. I promise to love you faithfully, forsaking all others, through the good times and the bad, in sickness and in health, regardless of where life will take us. I will share in your joys and sorrows and comfort you in times of need. I promise to cherish you and uphold your hopes and dreams and keep you safe at my side. All that is mine is now yours. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love from this moment on for as long as we both shall live."
I tilt my head to the side, letting the salty tears roll down my face. "This is unfair."
"That was my promise to you." he says back, "And you know that I keep my promises."
Biting my lip, I rise from the floor and knot my fingers together. I watch my husband doing the same before offering me his hand.
"One more try." I say into his eyes.
He nods, "One more try. If it doesn't work, I get the hammer out and we destroy this thing."
A grin appears on my lips, "Is there anything you wouldn't do?"
"No." he says simply as I place my hands in his. Biting my lip, I take a step into the shower. The water has dried, the floor heating makes the marble as warm as it is on the other side of the shower. I take a deep breath before my left foot follows my right. I am standing in the shower. I am standing in the shower… I feel my heart starting to race again. I'm starting sweating and my lips start shaking.
"Are you okay?"
"No." I say back, my eyes looking up at his.
"Door open or closed?"
"Closed." I tell him what to do. I look up at the rain shower head. I am home. I am safe. I survived.
I watch him picking up the umbrella. "No, no umbrella this time."
"Okay…" he says before placing his hands on the tap. "Ready?"
"No." I say before he turns on the water. I feel warm water touching my skin with a kind of pressure I haven't felt in over seven weeks. My body reacts by shaking. I bite my lip. I can do this. I have to. I feel my mind about to remember what happened. I close my eyes, my hand squeezing my husband's. I feel my pulse rising, my breath quickens. I can do this. I can stand under a freaking shower.
They place a cotton cloth on my face before they pull my head back by pulling on my hair. The chair on which I am sitting on is almost parallel to the ground. I am scared. What will they do to me? Suddenly, icy cold water starts floating on my face. I start chocking as they don't stop. Water starts filling my lungs. It feels like drowning. I am dying. I feel a mixture of panic and peace. This is it. I won't survive. This is it…
Opening my eyes, I let go of my husband's hands. I look up at him and see his beautiful eyes filled with so much sorrow and guilt that it rips me apart. Waterboarding is nothing compared to what I am feeling right now. It's nothing compared to what they created inside of my husband. He thinks I am traumatized, when he is just as scarred. "Get out." I say to him, as his eyes scan mine.
"No."
I let out a frustrated sigh before I place my hand on the tap. "I'm not asking you, I am telling you."
"Gabriella,"
"GET OUT!" I yell at him before turning the water to hot. "Leave me alone."
He sighs before stepping out of the shower. I feel the hot water touching my skin, creating a kind of redness I haven't seen for a while. It feels very hot, but it makes me alive. I close my eyes as memories start crossing my mind again.
I can't move. My wrists are chained to the ceiling, I am hanging in the air. It's a dark, hallow room.
"Gabriella Maria Anne Bolton…" there is a Russian accent to this male voice.
My eyes start scanning the area, but I don't see the matching human. Suddenly, I feel hands touching my back and I wince. I try to turn my head around, but all I see is a shoulder.
"How long have I waited to get my hands on Troy Bolton's wife…" this time he speaks in Russian. I try to free myself from the chains. I start kicking in the air. I have to get out. I have to survive. I have… I wince as I feel electricity rushing through my body. He has a taser. I scream out as the shocks strike through my body.
I let out a scream as I fall on the floor. The hot water feels no longer hot. I feel cold. I start sobbing. My hand reaches the tap and I turn the water to icy cold. I let out another scream, feeling goosebumps covering my skin. I am safe. I am home. "Please stop… please stop…" I am sobbing, my voice gets lost in my cries. I open my eyes as I hear my husband opening the shower door. I kick against it, closing his entrance. He wants to fix me. He needs to fucking let me do this my way. I can't see his figure clearly as steam has made the glass door milky. But I know he looks full of sorrow and guilt. I know my husband. My hand on the tap turns the water hot again and I scream out.
I watch him disinfecting his knife with a lighter. Carefully, he strikes the knife through the fire again and again. Six times in total. It's an Arabian man this time. I don't understand his language, but I can see his disgust for my husband in his eyes. I can see his hatred. And I can almost feel the satisfaction he is about to feel. I am tied to the silver chair again. With cable ties that cut into my wrists. I stopped begging hours ago. I feel like a toy and everyone gets to play with me. He's going to cut me with his knife. He walks over to me in fast steps before kneeing down in front of me.
"Gabriella Bolton…" he has several black teeth, I notice as his black eyes look into mine. He puts the knife near my face, stoking my skin with it. I close my eyes as I feel him cutting into my skin.
My eyes open as I start breathing heavily. I rise from the floor. I wince before my eyes look at my husband. With my fist I hit against the glass wall so hard that it shakes and almost cracks. "I've been through this because of you!" I start yelling at the figure across me. Steam starts rising quickly as the hot water starts burning my skin again. "This is your fault! I am fucked up because of you! They took revenge on me for you!" I yell, hitting the wall again - this time with the palm of my other hand. "I've been tortured again and again because of you!" I start crying hot salty tears, leaning against the glass wall with both palms. I watch him walking closer to me, placing his palms on mine. I'm ripping him apart like his past did with me. I don't want to blame him, but I can't help myself. I feel my back pulsing in pain as the hot water starts running down my body. Suddenly, my feet give up and I fall on my knees again. "You destroyed me." I breathe out, looking through the milky glass wall. "You destroyed me." I whisper again, before turning around. Leaning against the glass wall, I start sobbing.
I feel a kick in my stomach as I fly through the whole room. With my back I crash against the cement wall. Something cracked. I heard a crack in my body. I roll into an embryo position. Everything inside of me hurts. I won't survive this. I know I won't.
I look up as the water stops. I watch my husband lowering to the ground. His lips are shaking, his eyes are full of tears. I destroyed him too. He sits down next to me before pulling me into his arms. I sob into his wet black shirt. We destroyed each other. As we always did.
"You destroyed me and I still love you." I whisper into his shirt. His love made me survive this.
His fingers strike down my back, his chest breathing heavily. He got what he wanted. He wanted me to blame him so he could stop blaming himself. "I know…" he whispers back to me before kissing my head.
"Telling you I love you is not enough to put my feelings for you into words." I say as I raise my head from his chest.
His fingers brush through my hair, "I know."
I watch tears rolling down my husband's cheeks. I wipe them away, feeling just as broken and sorry as him. He catches my hands and kisses them.
Another chapter that I thought was extremely important for Gabriella's recovery. Please review!
Xoxo
Xoxo
