Hello everyone. I'm so sorry this took so long. I was grounded for certain reasons...and I haven't been allowed on the computer. To top that off, my computer completely crashed so none of the files I had are on the computer so I had to rewrite this chapter. To everyone who has reviewed, I am unable to read and respond to your reviews because my computer isn't allowing me to sign into big websites like my hotmail. It's horrible for me because I really enjoy responding to your reviews... And do you want to know what puts the icing on the cake? I'm not allowed to upload files on fanfiction. I've erased the content on one of the files I already had in my Document Manager (chapter nine) and pasted this chapter in it.
I have school starting on Monday and I'm hoping to soon get my own laptop instead of having to resort to using my stupid family computer that my little sister decided to wreck. I don't think my life could get any worse right now.
Please read, enjoy, and review!
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!!! SADLY ENOUGH THAT IS THE TRUTH...
EPOV
I watched Bella the whole time in Biology. I just couldn't seem to get enough of her. She was just so beautiful. Her brown hair that flowed down in small waves to the middle of her back, her amazing straightforwardness with every matter, her love for all of us, the cute expressions she made when she was embarrassed… The things I learnt about her from day to day just made her all the more beautiful.
She got me spying on her and looked at me, curious smiling. I shook my head, returning her smile. If she knew I was thinking such things about her, she would most likely hate me. If only I could see into her precious little mind. She continued to smile at me.
"Bella?" Mr. Banner called at an unheard question on my part.
Bella seemed flustered. She looked to the front. I peeked into the teacher's mind and quickly gave her the answer under my breath.
"Krebs Cycle." She responded, smiling at me thankfully.
I looked into her eyes carefully. They looked pained. I felt my eyes tighten. I looked away, not wanting to look at her.
When the bell rang I bolted for the door and went to straight to my car. I sat there, feeling something unpleasant in the pit of my stomach. I've never felt like this before for anybody. Why was she bringing out all these human reactions? I remembered her sad eyes and threw my head back.
"Why do you look at only me with those eyes?! What are you hiding from me?" I let out, frustrated.
I closed my eyes, trying to relax, but everytime I came close, Bella's pained smile and eyes came into my mind.
"What I would give to make it stop…" I sighed, running my hand through my hair.
I sat there for the rest of the day; thinking of all the times Bella had looked at me…this time was the worst.
I looked through the windshield as the bell rang. Bella came out soon, laughing with everyone.
Why could she laugh so freely with all of them?
Why couldn't she act like that with me?
Why is it only me who causes you so much pain?
Why can't you smile freely with me?
I looked at her as she laughed.
"Why…?" I whispered to myself.
I watched her for a bit.
This was killing me; her slow torture.
I clenched my teeth tight together to stop myself from crying out in both pain and frustration. I starting my car and driving away.
I needed to leave here.
I didn't want to cause her anymore pain.
Not when she can't be her natural beautiful self with me around.
I needed to leave and never come back.
BPOV
I sobered up completely from laughing and snapped my head just in time to see Edward's car screeched out of the parking lot. I felt my eyes widen as I watched him drive in the opposite direction of his house; in the direction of Seattle. I put on a small smile and looked back at everyone.
"Bella…he isn't coming back." Alice whispered.
I looked at her, not sure what emotion my face showed. Rosalie, Alice, and Evie looked at me with hurt expressions. I looked into Alice's eyes to see myself attempting and failing miserably at smiling.
"That was his decision, guys. It doesn't concern me." I said to them quietly, making sure my face held no emotion.
Jasper and Emmett looked confused but decided not to ask.
I looked at them for a second before walking to my car.
"I think I'll just go home for today." I murmured, getting into my car.
I drove off not looking back.
I knew I was hurting them.
I knew I was the cause of them losing a brother.
I knew I should have ran like Edward had and leave them to their happy lives.
I knew I should have done a lot of things, including running after Edward...but I didn't.
I felt no reason to.
I felt no sadness or shame for hurting my family.
I felt no disgust with myself for causing their brother to leave.
I felt nothing.
I drove home in silence and sat at the grand piano that I had acquired since I learnt Edward was still alive. I would play it every now and then whenever I was hurting over him to remind me he loved me, but this time all I could play was the lullaby he had made me when we were both human.
It was bittersweet and every time I heard it, it signaled end in my heart.
It signaled that our life together ended back in 1918 when both of us died and were reborn.
I let my hands fall from the keys and rested my head on them.
The moaning sound the keys made as they were pressed down together was such a sad sound…
I got up and walked upstairs into my room. I stood in front of full length mirror. I locked my gaze with that of the mirror me and looked deep into my past. It was like I was reliving my past in the third person.
I looked at the past Edward and Bella, sitting on their house porch, Edward reading a book as he rested his head on her lap. They looked so happy…so in unknowing of what was to come...living in the now...living in the other's love.
"Edward," Bella smiled as she played with his hair.
He looked up at her, setting his book aside.
"Yes, love?"
He smiled her favorite crooked smile back.
"I was just thinking…what would you do if I forgot all about you? If I pulled myself away from you every time you touched me or if I told you I hated you because you brought me pain?" she asked, not meeting his gaze.
Edward sat up and pulled her close to him.
"Then I would let you go."
Bella kept her face buried deep in Edward's chest as silent tears poured down her face.
"Even though, it would sting every single cell in my body every time you pulled away, I would let you go. Even though, I would want to stay by your side until I hear you say 'I love you' again, I would let you go. I would let you go because I don't ever want to cause you pain. You are the most precious thing in my life. You're my precious Bella." Edward whispered into Bella's ear.
"Why do you ask?" he asked, pulling Bella's face so he could see it.
Bella ignored his question and asked another.
"What if you were taken away because of me? Would you still love me? Would you hate me for hurting you? What would you do then, Edward?" Bella asked, looking towards the flowers in her garden.
"I could never hate you Bella. Don't ever think I would. If I was taken away from you because of you then I would live through it until I got to see you, again. Not even death could separate me from you. We will be together forever. I promise. " Edward whispered, his velvet voice laced with only love. He pulled Bella's face to his and kissed her sweetly, but passionately.
I felt my heart pull and my eyes prick with the tears that would never come. That was the last time Edward had kissed me. After that, I watched as Edward was admitted into the hospital because he came down with the Spanish influenza. I watched as my past self stared into Edward's eyes everyday until he went to sleep. She stayed by his side until Carlisle made her go home and rest. I watched Bella cry herself to sleep, countless times.
I followed Bella around. Her day to day life consisted of getting up, getting dressed, going to the hospital before Edward woke, trying her best to smile, going home when Edward fell asleep, crying herself to sleep until one day she just broke completely. There were no more tears left for her to cry herself to sleep. There was no more pain when she smiled. She let that emotion hide itself in a box deep in her heart.
Though when the memory I dreaded most came, Bella let the pain take her over. She let herself cry in front of Edward and begged him not to leave her. Edward smiled weakly and promised that he couldn't.
"Stupid Edward…" I mumbled as I moved ahead in time, to when I met Evie.
Bella had found her, dying in a dark alley. She changed Evie and she stayed with Bella, too scared to leave on her own.
"Bella," Evie asked one night as they hunted.
"Yes, Evie?"
Bella smiled.
"Why do you always smile so emotionlessly?" She asked Bella.
Bella smiled again, emptily.
She stood in front of Evie and showed her Edward dying. Evie looked at her extremely sad. Bella looked down and began playing with her wedding bands.
"I've forgotten how to feel. No, that's not right…I don't want to remember how to feel. Pain, joy, anger, love, hate, fear, surprise shame, amusement,"
Bella paused quick, looking back up at Evie with hard eyes,
"and trust have ceased to exist for me. I don't know these things anymore." Bella said in monotone.
"I smile because it's better than no expression at all."
Bella turned and began to run back to their house.
Evie looked at Bella's back, eyes full of pity and remorse.
"But that's no way to live Bella! Why are you like this?! Are you saying that even though we've been together for 20 years you don't trust me?!" She shouted Bella.
Bella turned back to her, eyes burning cold.
" I trust no body." She said, her voice matching her eyes.
"All my feelings died along with him."
Bella ran back to the house as Evie remained in the field.
A repeat of the scene once made me wonder: Did I ever truly feel since 1918?
A second time and it was: Did I ever actually care for anybody?
A third time: Did I ever care about what happened to me?
A forth time: Did my emotions come back while I was with Evie?
The fifth time around I looked closely at the Bella in my past. Her eyes were cold and harsh. Why Evie stayed with her was beyond me.
It wasn't until the sixth time that I realized that my emotions never came back.
I have always been the same, dead, Isabella Marie Masen from 1918.
I brought myself back to the now and looked at myself in the mirror.
My eyes showed no emotion.
My heart didn't hurt like it did before.
My eyes didn't prick with never coming tears as they had before.
I was back to what I truly was.
I was dead.
Please don't fufill your urge to kill me when you finish reading this. I am really sorry if no one saw that coming. It is kinda unexpected...okay it's a lot unexpected. I know that this isn't what would naturally come after Unseen, but compared to the one I had on the computer before the computer crashed this is better. I plan, like my other fanfic, to make this one only 20 chapters long (Please note that I said plan and that New and Improved went to 30 chapters) so that's why this is kinda sudden...
To be honest...the reason it turned out like this is because when I was writing the chapter from Edward's point of view, I was listening to Torture by Elise Estrada and then when I was writing from Bella's point of view I was listening to both Torture and S.O.S and they were on repeat so the song kind of gets into my head and the mood or message it's trying to send out ends up on paper or the computer. Does that make sense?
Please don't form an angry mob and kill me!
I love you all lots!
Thanks for sticking by me!
