"Closer to the Edge"
By Lucawindmover
Chapter Twelve
"I'm Sorry"
Fifteen years previously, in the Fire Nation Capital…
Zuko moved behind an ornate screen situated in the corner of his bedroom and began to undress. Normally, he had no use for the screen. He would have just undressed next to his bed. But he didn't want to undress in front of Katara, who was sitting on the floor still, as far as he knew. He took a deep breath and shucked the rest of his armor and uniform, pulling on a comfortable pair of loose, silky pants to sleep in.
He had missed living in the Fire Nation for a lot of reasons. He had missed the heat of the night and the ability to sleep in nothing if the notion caught him. Usually he slept in pants at least, but he knew it got hot enough on some occasions that it was more comfortable to sleep with nothing at all. During his years of travelling the world in search of the Avatar, he'd had to bundle up to sleep. He'd had to bundle up all the time almost, just to stay as warm as he had been here at home. Sleeping with all that fabric wrapped around him was uncomfortable and he was glad to be leaving those days behind.
At least for a little while, he thought.
When he came out from behind the screen, Katara was still slumped on the floor. It seemed she had finished crying, but hadn't decided she was ready to move yet.
It was late. It had been almost sunset before they'd made it to port. The meeting had taken longer than Zuko had suspected. He couldn't suppress the yawn that left him now.
Katara looked up at him at the sound. Her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, but her cheeks had dried. She seemed to collect herself and stood, still eyeing him warily. Zuko sighed. He figured he would never really see that look go away.
"Where am I going to sleep?" she asked, pushing a length of hair back behind her ear. "Where do your slaves usually sleep?"
Zuko narrowed his eyes. "I don't usually have slaves." He watched as Katara crossed her arms and he knew that they were going to fight. Again.
"Look," he said. "I need you to come over here to the bed. I need to talk to you about something important."
He didn't check to see if she followed him. He moved over to the large, four-poster bed and pushed back the dark red curtains. When he turned, she was right behind him. He motioned for her to get in.
"Oh no, I don't think so," Katara said, taking a step back and holding her hands up.
Zuko stomped his foot in frustration. "I will explain in a minute. Would you just trust me?"
Katara pinched her lips in a firm line and then relented. She crawled up into the bed. Zuko followed her, closing the curtains tightly behind him.
"Look, Katara," he started as he scooted himself to the head of the bed. He leaned himself against the head of the bed with one leg out straight and one knee bent. He propped his arm up on his knee and sighed. "I'm afraid we're going to be spied on. I didn't want to say much until I had you in here because the curtains muffle our voices."
Katara moved over to the other side of the bed, pulling her knees up to her chest. "Oh," she said, relaxing her shoulders a little. She hadn't been entirely sure what he was trying to pull by telling her to get in his bed. "Why would we be spied on?"
"Azula was trying to get me in trouble before, by telling my father that you and I had been having, uh," he blushed and didn't meet the waterbender's eyes. "An illicit affair, as she called it. But since that didn't work, she'll be looking for some other way to get me in hot water."
"Like how?" Katara asked, watching as the Fire Prince's face blushed a deeper shade of red. At that moment, she was sure she didn't want to know what he was about to say.
"I think she's going to try to prove that we aren't doing what they think we are," he choked out.
Katara could feel her own face growing hot. She looked down at her hands. "Why would that be so bad?"
Zuko waited a moment before answering. "Because that would make my father think I had lied to him."
Katara looked up, catching his eye. "But you didn't lie. You never said that we, uh, were. Well, you know."
Zuko shook his head. "Doesn't matter. I didn't deny it so I might as well have said it. That's how my father would take it."
Katara bit her lip a little before asking her next question. "What do we do then?"
She watched as Zuko shifted a little nervously. While it was kind of nice to see him so uncomfortable, she didn't really like where this conversation was headed. "Well, we need to fool them."
Katara rolled her eyes. "Well, okay Captain Obvious. How do we fool them?"
Zuko took a deep breath. "Well, for starters we should both sleep in here with the curtains closed. That way if anyone tried to peek in on us, they wouldn't see one of us sleeping on the floor."
Katara blanched. Sleeping in the same room with him had been bad enough. Now he wanted her to sleep in his bed? While he slept in his bed? "What do you mean 'for starters'?"
Zuko shrugged. "Well, I'm sure there will be other things along the way, but right now I'm too tired to think about everything. So, for starters, for tonight, we need to sleep and we both need to do that here."
Katara watched as he slumped down more, moving until he was lying on his back with his head on his pillow and both arms behind his head. He seemed to favor that position. The waterbender blushed again lightly as she realized she'd been watching him move, watching the sculpted muscles of his chest as he got himself comfortable. She turned her face away when he caught her eyes watching him.
She had seen him shirtless before. She wasn't sure why it was making her blush now. It's got to be the proximity, she told herself.
When she didn't move from her position at the end of the bed, he felt he had to ask. "Are you going to come up here and go to sleep, or sit there all night?"
Katara shrugged, and then fought a yawn. The yawn won and the girl grew frustrated. She so didn't want to be doing this.
She moved up beside him, making sure to keep her distance. She laid with her back facing him and pulled the covers up to her chin.
"You probably won't want those," Zuko said from behind her. "It gets pretty warm in here at night, and especially with the curtains drawn."
"I'll be fine," Katara grumbled.
When Katara woke up she was anything but fine. It had only been a few hours. Even though they had the lamps down low outside the curtains, she could still feel night in her veins. Somewhere out there the moon was still high in the sky. She could feel it, even with the Binding Bands.
She was hot. Really hot. At some point she had pushed the covers off of her but she was still really warm. It took her a few minutes of lying there, waking up, to figure out why.
Apparently Zuko had been used to sleeping in the middle of this bed, and he was doing so now. He had his back pressed against hers, and it was scalding her. She couldn't scoot any closer to the edge of the bed than she already was. If she moved, she'd wake him up.
For a little while, she didn't do anything and just tried to go back to sleep. But her mind was too awake and she couldn't help but worry about getting caught by Azula. Zuko's fears had quickly become her own. If Azula exposed them and something happened to Zuko, Katara's life would probably be forfeit as well. Finally, she decided just to wake him up.
"Zuko?" she said.
"Hmm?" he answered. He didn't move so she figured he was still asleep.
"Zuko, wake up." She nudged him a little with her elbow.
"Hmm? What is it?" he said, this time pulling away from her and giving the waterbender some space.
Katara rolled on her back and looked over at him. He was still faced away from her. She wasn't entirely sure he actually was awake. She'd camped out with Sokka and Aang enough times to know that a lot of guys could talk in their sleep, answer questions and have conversations, and never know it.
"Zuko, I'm worried about Azula catching us," she said.
The Fire Prince rolled over, yawning, until he was facing her. He propped his head up on his hand and blinked heavily. His hair fell across his eyes a little and he absently brushed it out of his way with his free hand.
This is about as awake as I'm going to get him, she thought. "What if they start asking us questions about each other?"
"Like what?" he asked. She was wrong. He was more awake by the moment.
Katara turned her head to look up at the ceiling. She couldn't see the ceiling for the curtains and she wasn't sure she liked how enclosed the bed was. No wonder she was so warm. There was no way they could get any kind of breeze with the curtains drawn. "What if they ask us stuff that only, uh, lovers would know? Like about scars and birthmarks and such?"
Zuko frowned. He hadn't thought about that. He shook himself a little and sat up. "I'll show you mine, and you show me yours. Then we'll be able to answer that."
"Show you my what?" Katara asked, her eyes popping open.
Zuko blushed. "Scars, Katara. Birthmarks. Get your mind out of the gutter, would you?"
Katara sat up too and watched as he turned his back to her. He pulled his hair away from the nape of his neck, pointing to something. She moved closer to see a tiny, thin scar right at his hairline. "What happened there?"
Zuko felt the hair rise on the back of his neck as her breath caressed his skin. "I fell down a flight of stone stairs when I was little. I was lucky not to break my skull open," he answered. "Here, touch it so you can remember what it feels like and where it is."
Katara hesitated, but finally reached her fingers over to brush the scar. It was only a little raised against the rest of his smooth skin. She was surprised at how warm he was without sweating. She figured it must just be a firebender thing.
Zuko shivered. Her hands were so cool to the touch. He felt her fingers brush against the edge of his hairline and couldn't help the goose-duck bumps that the feeling raised on his arms.
"Any others?" Katara asked, sitting back and crossing her legs. He turned back around and got up to his knees, starting to pull down the front of his pants.
Katara clamped her eyes shut and turned her head away. "What are you doing?" she squeaked a little.
Zuko sighed. "Look, it's just another scar okay? Would you look please so we can get this over with?"
Katara opened her eyes slowly to see that he had only pulled the lip of his pants down a few inches. There was another scar a few inches below his belly button. This one was longer and a little more ragged, perhaps a little more recent. Without his prompting, she reached forward and traced the scar with her fingers, memorizing the feeling and trying to ignore the heat that travelled not only to her cheeks, but to her belly as well. She didn't know what the fire in her belly was, and decided not to think about it too much.
"What happened here?" she asked, her voice much quieter. Zuko could feel himself shaking a little at the feel of her soft hands bushing the skin of his abdomen. He watched her eyes scrutinizing his flesh, trying to burn the image into her memory. His heart sped up at the sight of her so close to him, touching him in this way.
"Training accident when I was learning sword work. I was almost gutted," he responded, his voice thick.
Katara looked up at him, her fingers still lingering on his scarred belly. "I'm sorry," she said. The way his honey-colored eyes burned into hers made her heart speed up. She pulled her hand back slowly. He pulled the edge of his pants back up and sat back on his feet.
"What about you? Scars?" Zuko asked.
Katara shook her head. "No scars, but I have a birthmark," she answered. Suddenly her face was dark red, a sight that wasn't lost on Zuko.
"You don't want to show me, do you?" he asked. He crossed his arms across his chest. The touch of her fingers had left him a little chilled.
Katara gulped and shook her head. "Not really. But I have to though," she said. She turned away from him and scooted to the edge of the bed, dangling her legs over the side. She lifted the back of her shirt up and pulled the edge of her pants down much farther than she wanted to.
Zuko moved forward, watching as Katara pulled her pants down to reveal a cream-colored birthmark on the cheek of her left buttock. He couldn't help the way his breath caught in his throat at her exposing herself to him this way. He moved closer, letting his legs move to either side of hers, dangling off the bed. His left hand found her hip, his thumb tracing the edges of her birthmark.
Katara froze. Her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears that she was sure he could hear it too, especially how close he was to her now. His hand was too warm on her hip. His body was close enough behind her that she could feel his heat against her back. She could feel his thumb tracing her birthmark in little circles, gently. She'd always been so surprised at how gentle his touch could be.
They sat this way for a few minutes, each trying to get their bearings. Zuko wasn't sure he wanted to move away from her and Katara wasn't sure she wanted to push him away just yet.
A thought came to Zuko. "What if they ask us other questions?"
Katara shivered a little, feeling his breath move the hair at the back of her neck. "Like what?" she asked, softly.
Zuko took a deep breath. "What if they ask me what your lips feel like?"
Katara thought for a moment. She reached behind her and took his hand from her hip, bringing it around in front of her. The movement pulled his chest up flush to her back. She brought his hand up to her face and turned it over. She leaned her head forward a little, and pressed her lips to his palm.
Zuko could feel himself teetering on the edge of something. His hand was shaking, and he was sure she could feel it. Her lips on his hand had been cool and soft, a healing balm against his burning flesh.
She kissed him there a few more times before lowering their hands to her lap. The skin under her lips had been tough with callouses and so warm. She could feel the potential of the muscles beneath. With her eyes closed, she asked. "What if they ask me the same question, about you?"
Zuko paused for a moment. He withdrew his hand from hers and used it to move her tangled hair away from her left shoulder and neck. Before he could think about it too hard, and talk himself out of it, he pressed his lips to the side of her neck.
Katara gasped, but didn't move. He took that as a sign and placed another kiss, a little lower. He could feel her lean into him a little. He moved a little farther down her neck, to the place where her shoulder met her neck. He kissed her there, allowing his tongue to flicker out and taste her rapidly warming skin.
A tiny moan left Katara's lips. She was shaking, she could feel it. When Zuko brought his mouth up by her ear, she heard him ask, "And what will you tell them?"
Katara gulped. She could feel his lips still hovering by her ear, his warm breath against her cheek. "I'll tell them that your lips are soft, and very warm, and also, um, gentle."
Zuko brought his right arm around her middle and held her close. He buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and neck, breathing in the scent of her. Even after bathing with his soaps, dressing in his clothes, and sleeping in his bed, she still smelled like herself. She smelled of clean things, of crisp ocean air.
They were both trembling. With fear? With need? Katara wasn't sure which.
Katara was the first to break the silence. "Zuko," she said softly.
"Hmm?" he mumbled against the skin of her neck. He could feel her body shiver in response.
"I think we should probably go to sleep now."
Zuko reluctantly pulled away. She was right. He wasn't even sure what they were doing anyway. He silently berated himself for taking advantage of their situation this way. His body was still shaking and he was physically in bad shape, but he didn't want to her to know. He didn't want to scare her away.
A knot formed in Katara's throat as he moved back to his side of the bed. She had meant what she said, but she had also hoped he would argue with her. She didn't know why her body was betraying her this way, but she already missed the warmth of him against her back. The fire in her belly was agony, and somehow she knew he could fix that, if she let him.
She took a deep breath and swung her legs back onto the bed. When she looked over at him, he was turned away from her, laying on his other side. She sighed, and ignored the tears that prickled a little at her eyes. She put her head back on her pillow and tried to fall back asleep, this time acutely aware that his back wasn't pressing against hers.
A/N: What do you guys think? Please read and review. Up next will be a look at Zuko and Katara in the present.
Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!
Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.
