Chapter 12 - Trust

There were stars in my vision when I came to, accompanied by a fresh burning sensation on the underside of both forearms. Apparently, in an unplanned self-preservation move, I had brought my arms up to shield my face from the onslaught of breakables. While my skin was nearly as tough as my vampiric family, it wasn't completely impervious to the free-falling shards of year's worth of accumulation. At least Grandmother hadn't been a sword-collector.

"Ouch," I managed.

"She'll be fine, Jacob," Grandmother soothed him. "She doesn't even need stitches."

I tried to blink away the stars to get a glimpse at the damage; it looked more like road-rash than anything. Red-blotchy skin replaced what used to be an ivory sheen. Grandfather coated the raw areas in a thick, transparent cream before covering them with bandages.

"Sorry," I stammered.

I felt guilty about destroying her pretty things, and I felt guiltier knowing she was more concerned about me than her material loss.

"Don't be silly," Grandmother responded, patting me lightly on the back. "It saves me having to dust them."

"I'm sorry I woke you up," I continued.

"I don't want to sleep this life away," she replied easily. "Hungry?"

"I could eat," Jacob responded, earning a scolding look from Grandmother.

"Sure," I added, giving Jacob a wary glance.

He wanted to continue our conversation privately, and I couldn't stand having him look at me that way much longer with the house-fire blazing in his eyes. Maybe having Grandmother and Grandfather with us while I talked to him would provide the added persuasion I needed to get him to listen to me. They were rational, knowledgeable, and experienced. Jacob trusted their words, especially Grandfathers. My only question was, would they agree with me … or Jacob?

"So … I was thinking," I started, knowing I should leave Tayte's name out of the conversation if I could help it. "There is a way to get through the list quicker."

"They can wait," Jacob said quickly. "They have all the time in the world to wait."

"But that means you – we – would have to wait, too," I argued.

"Why?" he retorted. "I know this is something you have to do. Do you think I'm going to turn into some iron-fisted tyrant when you marry me? You act like I'll expect you to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen for the rest of your days."

This caused Grandfather to smile, seeing how Grandmother was just that – barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Unfortunately, he was the only one smiling, which prompted his departure. Grandmother abandoned me as well, leaving me alone to face Jacob.

"Look around us," I continued. "We are surrounded by people who love and care for one another. We are a single branch of this family free. The thing is, when our branch starts growing, it is going to be weak. Not forever, but for a while, and so I want to make sure we get things started off right. I don't want it snapping from the added weight of everything else that we are."

"I can't walk away from my pack." His voice was full of regret and sadness.

"I know," I said softly, moving to reach my hand up to his impossibly distant cheek. "So if I can remove this weight, I will. It's one less thing we will have to deal with, initially. I'm not disillusioned about marriage; it will take work. I don't plan on it being some job I deal with on a daily basis. I plan to make a career out of it. So I want to do this …"

"You want to do what, exactly?" He flinched away from my touch.

"I want to get through the list quicker." I chewed on my bottom lip.

"Okay," he said, rocking back and forth on his feet. "How do you plan to do that?"

"I need to take a little trip," I squeaked out, closing my eyes as not to visually receive his response.

That was a bad idea, because in losing one sense, the others grew stronger. My sense of smell erupted with campfire. That was okay. Campfire I could deal with. If it shifted to bonfire, we might have a problem.

"Tayte," he snarled. "What did he say to you?"

"I didn't say anything about Tayte," I argued, but the truth was painfully visible in my continued nervous lip-chewing.

"What did he say?" Jacob's muscles rippled under his shirt.

"You told me I could spend one day doing something that I wanted to do," I said, trying to side-track him.

"I assumed that one day would involve me," he responded shortly. "What. Did. He. Say?"

"If I can change vampires to humans, maybe Nahuel's sisters can, too," I spoke quickly. "With Tayte's ability to adjust my electrical current – and probably theirs – we could run through the list in a matter of weeks, instead of six months. We could get married in a few weeks! Wouldn't that be great? No more waiting. No more wondering. Weeks, Jacob."

I hoped that adding that at the end would help him see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it didn't seem to be having quite that effect. I reached my hand back up to touch his cheek, and he smacked my hand away. I don't think he actually meant to smack it, but he was a little angry and nearing the loss of his control. And it did hurt – a lot. When my eyes filled up, he forgot all about being mad at me, Tayte, or anything else in the world that was annoying him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, scooping me up and snuggling me into his chest. "Are you okay? Did I break you?"

I laughed, the tears spilling over the edges. He gently reached a hand up to wipe them away. I moved my arm around his neck, slowly tracing the smooth skin that I found.

"I need to do this, Jacob," I said seriously. "I need to do this for us. I want to give my life to you, and while I know there will be others, it won't be such an overwhelming number as the original SCALLs. I'm not choosing him or me. I'm choosing us. Can you please try to see that?"

"I guess I should be thankful you are finally talking about marrying me." His glorious smile spread across his cheeks. "Even if it means your dream is coming true."

"My dream is absolutely coming true," I said, the twinkle in my eyes causing hid lips to tremble. "The only dream I could ever hope for – the dream I get the pleasure of having when I'm awake – is the dream of spending the rest of my life with you as Mrs. Black."

"Sure, sure," he replied, leaning in and brushing his lips against mine.

I needed to show him, needed to prove to him that there was no one in the world that I wanted more than him. My hand around his neck held him against my lips, and I leaned into the kiss, days of worry and strain disappearing inside of the love that radiated from my form into him. I drank in the ocean current of his mood shift, while reaching my free hand to his cheek. He turned his head to kiss the ring that he had made me.

When I intentionally slid my finger along his soft lips, his jaw flexed, and I started to lose sense of where I was. There was no slow and steady stream as I was used to from him. The waves rocked with the full force of his emotion, desperate to pledge his love to me. His tongue worked its way across my lips before invading my mouth. The taste intoxicated me, the salty sea colliding with the beginnings of what could easily become my favorite fire, the forest kind.

If not for the intentional clanging of dishes on the counter next to us, I wouldn't have noticed my dad.

Crap.

I tried to wriggle out of Jacob's arms, but he was holding me too tightly. Dad's glare felt like needles on my skin, accentuated by the bright pink that stained my cheeks. Jacob laughed, and I was pretty sure I might die from embarrassment.

"I'm likely to die from something else," Dad announced before removing himself from what I imagined were very vivid thoughts coming from my future husband's mind.

Jacob continued to laugh, and it was hard not to join him. He was the best kind of contagious.

"Your mom and dad are coming with you," he said, his mood shifting again. "Don't you dare even try to argue with me about that."

"I wouldn't dream of it." I grinned.

"You have one day," he added sternly. "Not including travel time."

"That's all I need," I agreed. "I have to be back in time for Leah's wedding, anyway."

"And no changing anyone, for any reason," he continued. "Not even that girlfriend of his."

"Her name is Kachiri," I rebutted. "And okay, but I am telling them you wouldn't let me."

"I don't care what you tell them," he persisted. "Just promise me you won't. I don't like the idea of not … being there."

"I promise – I won't change anyone without you there ever again."

"Okay then," he said, pouting slightly. "I trust you."

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

"Do you really need to act so excited about being away from me for a whole day?" he joked.

"It's just a day."

I urged away his jutted lip with another kiss. This time I didn't allow myself to get so carried away. Something about Dad being in the other room kept me grounded. Jacob, on the other hand, could have cared less who was there. He very much wanted to pour his heart and soul into our embrace. I tried to act strong, but I knew what he meant. Twenty-four hours without him would be like decades without the sun. I could feel my temperature lowering just thinking about.

Giving into the temptation of his movement, I lost my reserve. Breathing in my sunshine, I hoped it would be enough to get me through my new adventure. Only one thing could make my trip to Buenos Aires a holiday, but there was no way I was going to ask my heart to join me. Instead, I would leave it with my love so he could keep it warm with his perpetual heat, protecting it from any potential threat.

"I love you, my lunatic wolf-man," I murmured.

"I love you, too," he whispered.