Title: The Blind Date
Chapter: 12/25
Summary: Elrond and Bilbo decide to set up their two respective best friends on a date. After all revenge was in order. AU- set in modern times.
Genre: Humour, drama, romance.
Warnings: slash, references to m-preg and non-con. Some OOC simply because this is an AU, which means Thranduil and Thorin do not hate each other or have any history prior to their blind date.
Chapter 12
Silence filled Elrond's home; everyone was too deep in thought to discuss what had transpired. Thorin was pacing up and down the room, barely able to contain himself. He couldn't imagine what was happening to his elf deep in the palace of Mirkwood. Who knew what the orc was doing to his love or the child he loved as much as his own nephews. The thought of Thranduil being hurt broke Thorin's heart. Orcs were not known for their gentle and loving natures. Thorin was scared; Thranduil might not ever be the same once he saved him. But Thorin decided he didn't care, he would never abandon his elf.
"Is there no secret way?" Nori asked, "There must be a way for us to sneak in."
"It is no dwarf cave," Thorin said, running a hand through his hair. "I doubt it has a hidden door."
"Thorin's right," Elrond said, "We need to contact someone inside the palace- but we must do it carefully. Should anyone find out we could risk many lives. Erestor, who would you suggest?"
"There are several elves, but one problem is we do not know where their loyalties lie," Erestor replied. "And more importantly we do not know if any, if all of these elves are safe. I will try emailing or calling Dínendal or Silinde; they'd most likely be my best choice. If not them, I would say Tauriel, the captain of the guard. We are far too in the dark to be able to make any plans. We do not know if Oropher is himself, or if a spell has been cast on him-"
"A spell must have been cast," Glorfindel interjected. "No father would agree to such beastly marriage. I mean if he was pissed off about Thranduil dated a dwarf, I shudder to think of Oropher's reaction to an orc!"
Thorin's teeth could be heard grinding over Glorfindel's words.
"It would most certainly explain it all," Elrond said, he squeezed Thorin's shoulder reassuringly. "But it does not solve our issues."
"When does this wed- Balrogs!" Ecthelion jumped up startled pulling out his sword at the sound of someone pounding at the door.
"It's not a balrog," Elrond grumbled as the dwarves stared oddly at the elf. "He gets a little jumpy."
"A little," Thorin grunted, "Where does he hide that sword? He's always ready to attack!"
"Your Highness!" Glorfindel stood up surprised as a dark haired elf by the name of Ereinion walked in demanding attention the way only a king could. A crown of mithril adorned his head. Glorfindel bowed low as did Ecthelion. Elrond on the other hand walked up to the king who opened his arms welcomingly to embrace the younger half-elf. Erestor walked past both elves smiling warmly at his younger cousin; Lindir threw his arms around the darker haired elf holding him close. It had been months since he last had seen his cousin. The dwarves and hobbits were unsure what to do as Celeborn and Galadriel welcomed Ereinion as equals.
"It is been too long," Celeborn smiled, "I am pleased you are here."
"I wish it was under better circumstance we meet," Gil Galad said, "We have much to discuss, but first, where are the children?"
"In the playroom," Elrond said.
"It is best they stay there," he responded, he turned to the minstrel who was still in his cousin's arms; Gil-Galad smiled warmly at Erestor. "Lindir, I left my briefcase in the car, would you please collect it for me?"
"Aye, sire," the minstrel quickly made his way out of the house followed by Erestor who stood on the porch watching his cousin as he retrieved the briefcase. Lindir stopped and looked up at his cousin, "You are worried about him aren't you?"
"Aye," Erestor nodded, "I have known Thranduil since we were elflings. I fear for him, we are so out of our depths; we cannot just barge into Greenwood. We know not what we are up against. We could risk the lives out countless elves."
"I think the best thing we can do is wait for the wedding day it self," Lindir said, "Not that we have been invited."
"We know right there that this is not of Thranduil's doing," Erestor said, smiling weakly. "Thranduil not invite us to his wedding- preposterous. Come, let's go back inside."
"That potion works wonders," the shape shifter said. "Oropher feels no affect from my siphoning of his strength when I morph. His little advisor was ready to crock before I ambushed Oropher. He would not have survived another night."
"It healed the damage you inflicted on his son," Azog smirked. "I'm sure after our wedding night I will need some more Saruman."
The white wizard smirked, "Indeed, has the High King responded yet?"
"No," the beast responded. "I sent them after I had a little chat with Silinde. Apparently the king always writes little side letters to the High King that he adds to the more formal matters. I had our little king write him a personal letter. The things parents do for their children. I don't know why he bothers, they will both be dead once the wedding takes place."
"The king will be," Azog nodded, "I changed my mind about the prince, I think I'd like having him around a little longer."
"Is that wise," Denethor voiced his concern, "If I recall the prince was quite the stubborn and feisty one."
"I do hope so," Azog smirked, "I like when they fight and struggle."
"So long as you keep him under control," Saruman said, "We cannot have him ruining our plans, Oropher will die, Ereinion will die. We will rule this Middle Earth; all we have to do is reach out and take it!"
Thranduil pulled Legolas and Saelbeth behind him when Azog entered his room yet again. This time he came with Lurtz and Bolg carrying a few trays of food that were placed at the table. Bolg looked rather angry, glaring directly at Figwit who scrambled over to Thranduil, while Lurtz looked a little nervous and out of his depth.
"What do you want?" Thranduil asked, sharply. Azog smirked as he stalked closer towards the elf. Thranduil tried not to flinch when two rough hands gripped his face and pulled him closer to the orc's face. Azog breathed in deeply, disgusting the elf when he ran a rough wet tongue up Thranduil's cheek. Thranduil pushed the orc away from him, outraged, "are you kidding me!? That is disgusting!"
Azog smirked, pulled the elf close, squeezing a round cheek in his large hand. Thranduil winced when the fingers linger a little too long for his liking. "I want to have dinner with my fiancé obviously. We're going to be one happy family. A big one if we include the whore's son and the bitch. After all, the bitch is yours now, and the whore won't be seeing his son anytime soon."
"Shut up," Thranduil hissed. He heard Saelbeth sob quietly behind him. "How dare you speak to either of them!"
"Sit at the table now," Azog said, his demeanour changed from playful to cold. "Move it!"
He took hold of Thranduil's arm and threw him towards the table. The elf stumbled, but managed to keep himself from falling or hurting himself. Azog grabbed both Saelbeth and Figwit, tossing them both into a chair. He nodded approvingly when Legolas sat himself beside Saelbeth before the orc could touch him. His father sat beside him as Azog glared at his two sons who moved promptly. Lurtz attempted to sit beside Figwit but was tossed aside by his brother who sat beside his former slave, pinching him under the table. The elf whimpered weakly when suddenly a bread roll collided into Bolg's head. Azog, Thranduil and Bolg looked over at Legolas who reached over and grabbed another bread roll. Thranduil smirked, chuckling lightly as his son began to eat, ignoring the stares he was receiving. Saelbeth stared at the Princeling with a wide mouth as Azog rolled his eyes and sat beside the elven prince.
"Aren't you going to punish him!?" Bolg growled, glaring at Legolas who munched on his bread, a stubborn look in his eyes. Thranduil's eyes widened slightly as Azog arose, the elven prince panicked jumping to his feet to protect his son.
"Please, you promised," Thranduil whispered. Azog smirked as the elf, pushing him aside as he walked around the table. Saelbeth tensed when the orc stopped behind him; he closed his eyes and waited but the footsteps resumed then stopped right behind Figwit who shook fearfully. Thranduil held his breath as Azog rested his hands on the shaking elf's shoulders. Figwit whimpered as the orc painfully squeezed his nails into his shoulders. The dark-haired elf let out a strangled sob as he looked at Thranduil pleadingly. Thranduil moved to free the elf but before he knew what was happening Azog reached far over Figwit and grabbed an alarmed Lurtz by his hair dragging him across the table. The orcling screeched in pain as he was pulled across the table and Figwit's head, knocking back the chair the raven-haired elf was sitting on. Figwit let out a startled yelp as he landed with a thud, Thranduil was by his side immediately helping him to his knees, wrapping his arms around him protectively as the younger elf buried his face into his shoulder. Legolas and Saelbeth clung onto each other, unconsciously they both edged under the table as they watched in horror; the pale orc was reigning kicks and blows on the tiny orcling. His cries pierced the room as Bolg roared with laughter.
"Stop! Stop! You're killing him!" Thranduil cried. The pale orc held his youngest son by the throat- he hung limp, his feet barely touching the ground. "What is wrong with you?! He is your son!"
Azog tossed the battered body to the ground and growled, moving swiftly towards the elven prince. He grabbed a handful of the long blonde hair, pulling the elf near, his hot breath blowing against the elf's cheek. Figwit scrambled behind Legolas and Saelbeth, shaking like a leaf forcing him self to wrap his arms around the elflings as he pulled them right under the table. Thranduil stared at him defiantly.
"In two weeks he will be your son," Azog hissed, "And you better make sure he begins to behave."
"He did nothing!" Thranduil growled, "You overgrown ape!"
"You are beginning to piss me off!" Azog snarled.
"Get use to it," Thranduil said, pushing the orc off him, "If you think I'm going to just stand around and look pretty for you then you have another thing coming! I will not submit to the likes-huukkh!"
Thranduil gasped struggling to breathe; Azog's hand was clamped around his throat, choking him.
"Ada!" Legolas cried, trying to help his father, who was turning blue in the face. Figwit and Saelbeth both held him back. "LET HIM GO! Leave him alone-oofff!"
Thranduil was thrown unceremoniously into the three elflings, coughing harshly as he gasping as he tried to get oxygen back into his lungs.
"Bolg, let's go," Azog gestured to the door. His eldest son made his way to the unconscious orcling, "Leave him, I have no use for such a weakling! I will see you tomorrow morning and you better behave yourself!"
Legolas pulled himself up and began to gently rub his father's back as the two orcs left the room, locking them inside the room yet again. Thranduil smiled at his son, stroking the soft skin of his cheek.
"Are you boys okay?" he rasped, slowly getting to his feet. He helped pull Figwit to his feet as Legolas and Saelbeth stood. All three boys nodded quietly. "Sit down and eat, I have no appetite to be honest, but I do not want you to be hungry."
"I-I don't think I can e-eat," Figwit whispered, eying the orc child helplessly. Thranduil rubbed the darkhaired elf gently on the shoulder.
"I will look after him," Thranduil murmured, "Eat, the three of you. We don't know if we will be given food all the time, so eat as much as you can when we do. Saelbeth, after you eat and I tend to Lurtz, I need you to tell me everything you know. I need to know more about what it is we are up against, and we only have twelve days from tomorrow to fix everything."
"Aye sire," Saelbeth nodded, he followed the prince's instructions as Thranduil gathered the orcling into his arms. Thranduil stared at him sadly; the rage he felt for the boy only days earlier had subsided. The creature in his arm's attacked his son; bullied him and abused him. But the more Thranduil thought on it, he saw the child was not fault. After seeing Azog's explosive abuse directing at the boy, he felt a tinge of pity towards the child he initially loathed for hurting his son.
He tended to the child he watched his own son interacting with the former slave and Saelbeth; he nurtured his son into the sweet little boy he was. He thought back to his friends' children; sure they had their moments where they drove the adults crazy but they were all children that made their families proud. He hoped they were all okay; he hated being cut off from all the people he cared about. He missed them, all of them, especially a certain handsome dwarf.
Thranduil wondered, as he wrapped the orcling in a warm blanket, if an orcling was capable of growing into a good person.
"Elbereth, I need a glass of wine," Thranduil murmured, "Or just the bottle."
"The invitation is not addressed to me alone," Ereinion said, his eyes darkened as he handed envelopes to Elrond, Celeborn and Erestor. The three elves quickly opened and read the invitations before they passed them on. "It is several invitations; Oropher had them all sent to me, I suppose he expected me to deliver them to you all. The wedding takes place on a Saturday, in about two weeks. It will be in the Halls of Greenwood. I have spoken to Tauriel; the Captain of the guard, she knows something is wrong with the king but is not sure what."
"He's a crazy nutcase, that's what," Thorin hissed, "Can we leave now!?"
Gil-Galad stared at the dwarf, curiously.
"This is Thorin," Erestor introduced the dwarf, "he and Thranduil have been together for eight-"
"Nine!" Thorin interrupted.
"-Months now," Erestor continued without stopping, "He is worried for Thranduil, rightfully so, please excuse his impatience."
"I would react identically," Ereinion smiled, sadly gazing for a moment at the minstrel by his side. "Oropher's letter confirmed that Tauriel is correct. Oropher is not himself. When we send formal writings to one another we always write a more personal letter just to keep one another informed."
"Don't you have phones in the palaces?" Bofur asked, surprised.
"What? Well yes we do, but it's just a tradition that stuck," Ereinion replied, eying the dwarf. He rather like the beard the dwarf sported. "See, Oropher always addresses me as Blossom for a few years now so when he didn't this time… I knew something was amiss immediately!"
"Blossom?" Erestor repeated. Gil-Galad shrugged, he had no intention of delving into the details as to why Oropher referred to him as Blossom. It was embarrassing! "Really? That's how you know King Oropher isn't King Oropher. He didn't address you as Blossom so you know he isn't the true king."
Celeborn snorted, trying to hold his laughter, "Why Blossom?"
"Isn't that a Power Puff girl?" Aragorn asked, his brow rising. The King of the Noldor paled slightly and shook his head, vigorously. He hoped Celeborn was too drunk too remember… "Yes, it is! She's the little red one! The commander and the leader!?"
"No!"
"Wait a minute!" Celeborn eyed his friend, Gil-Galad who covered his face with a large palm "wasn't that the show we watched about fifteen years ago- you were drunk!"
"I wasn't drunk!" Gil-Galad said, haughtily.
"You spilled green cordial all over Galadriel and Oropher kept referring to her as Radioactive Queen! And then you fell off the couch and broke your crown," Celeborn said bluntly. "We had to call Lindir to pick you up-"
"I remember that!" Erestor snorted, he realised they were well off track but he noticed Thorin had sat himself beside Elrond and looked a little calmer then before. He looked almost defeated. "They demolished Thranduil's wine collection! There was over eighty bottles! He was ready to kill that day! Some of that collection was over hundreds of years old- and they drank it all!"
"Yeah! And you kept calling Oropher, Buttercup!" Galadriel laughed, recalling the events like they were yesterday. "And Celeborn became Bubbles."
"Why was I Bubbles!?"
"Why were you watching the Power Puff Girls anyway!?" Aragorn asked, with a raised brow.
"You look familiar," Ereinion said, trying to change the subject. "I don't recall Elrond having a cousin by the name of Estel."
"Yeah, I'm twice removed, or something like that," Aragorn shrugged.
"How do we help Thranduil?" Thorin was tired of the dillydallying. He needed Thranduil back in his arms now. Two days had past since, and he didn't want to spend second night with out the elf in his arms.
"We wait," Gil-Galad said, "Although I was thinking if we were able to send in a spy-"
"-I'll go," Erestor said. Before anyone could protest he continued, "Elrond, you cannot go, you need to think of your children. Thorin- you're a dwarf, you'll be thrown in the dungeons. Bilbo, you'd end up in the same position. Ecthelion you will overreact and try to smite an invisible balrog. I can at least go in and play the part of Thranduil's best man. After all, if he is getting married, he will need a best man."
"Maid of Honour," Thorin said, "When I marry him you will be the Maid of Honour. Bilbo is the Best Man."
"Man of Honour, I am no maid," Erestor smiled, weakly. Glorfindel shook his head. "I must. He needs a friend right now, Glor."
"I am coming with you," Glorfindel said, "There is no way I will let you go there alone."
"Glor-"
"No, I wont take no for an answer," Glorfindel said, before he turned to Ereinion. "My Lord, do you think you could inform the King of our arrival. We will leave in three days time."
"Aye, I will call," Ereinion nodded, looking at the Balrog Slayer directly in the eyes. "Look after him. Both of them."
"I will," Glorfindel promised.
"Legolas, stay with him and Lothvaen," Thranduil said softly, the orcling has awoken an hour earlier panicked but calmed when he realised he was alone with the elves. The young beast clearly didn't fear them or see them as a threat as he fell into a healing sleep immediately. "Lothvaen, if he awakens come and get me. Saelbeth and I must discuss what has happened here for the last few months, but I cannot do that with an orc present. Secrecy may be our key."
"Aye, ada," Legolas nodded, "Do you really think he will stay with us now?"
"Most likely," Thranduil sighed, "Though Azog is unpredictable... We will treat him kindly ion-nin, and it may just work to our advantage. Come Saelbeth, the bathroom will be more then adequate."
Saelbeth followed the prince into the bathroom, who immediately locked the door and sat himself as far away from the door as possible. Saelbeth followed suit, sitting beside the prince.
"At least the orcling has given us a reason to keep Lothvaen busy," Thranduil said softly. "I would love to trust him, but he has been in the company of orcs for all of his life. His loyalty may be to them simply out of fear. Now, the last time I saw my father was eight months ago or so. He was most definitely himself then, he exploded in a manner only my father would explode when I told him about Thorin. That was the last time I heard from him until Monday. Although I do not believe this is my father. He cannot be-"
"He isn't my Lord," Saelbeth whispered, terrified of being overheard. His father's knowledge was what had the person parading as the king capture his father so many months ago. "He came back that night quite angry, ada tried to calm him. I was in a tree outside of the King's study eating something I uh- took from the kitchen…"
The boy blushed slightly, and Thranduil smiled, "Let me guess, the cook's apple pie? We've all done that some point in our life."
Saelbeth nodded, "While I was eating, I was eavesdropping. Dínendal entered the study and instead of calming the king like ada, he fuelled his rage- well that's what ada said to him that day anyway. Dínendal hadn't been acting like himself for months. Ada and Tauriel discussed his change later that week, Tauriel felt as though he was not really Dínendal."
"Dínendal hates confrontations," Thranduil said, musingly. "For him to promote my father's anger is not at all Dínendal."
"A month or so had passed and the cook made pie again," Saelbeth mumbled, "I was in the tree again and this time the king and Dínendal were in the office, initially they were simply talking, but then the white wizard appeared. I didn't see him come in, he was just there."
"Mithrandir?"
"No, the ugly one," Saelbeth said, frowning in offense, "Gandalf is awesome, he has fireworks."
Thranduil smiled; he was most certainly talking to a child; one that had to grow up quickly but a child nonetheless.
"The king was surprised to see him," Saelbeth said, "He asked Saruman how he entered the realm without any of his guards alerting him to his presence. But before the wizard responded, Dínendal grabbed the king by his head. He- I don't know what he did but the King was unable to scream- but he looked like he was in pain. He fell to the ground- I- I thought he was dead! But Saruman said something about taking him to the dungeons that night, so no one would see him. Dínendal was gone, my lord. He changed after he hurt the king, because he was now the king- he changed- I don't know how but he changed. I had my hand on my mouth so I wouldn't make a noise- I noticed my father squatting under the desk- they hadn't seen him but he had seen what had happened and saw me as well- he motioned for me to be quiet as the fake person began to remove the king's robes and his crown. He dressed in them as Azog came in then; I almost fell out of the tree. I never saw an orc before my lord. I was scared. I'm ashamed-"
"It is okay to be scared, pen-neth," Thranduil whispered, taking in the new knowledge. "I am afraid now. I am worried about you, Legolas and Lothvaen. I now fear for my father- he could be dead for all I know. I also fear for Dínendal. This shape-shifting being must have taken Dínendal in surprise as well."
"The King is alive, my Lord," Saelbeth said, "I saw him the day before you were taken- I think the shifter needs him alive because every few weeks after I was thrown in the dungeons, the fake-king would come down and I'd hear the King screaming. I also heard Dínendal- I think he's been in the dungeons all this time too with the king and before."
"How is it no one noticed that people are in the dungeons?" Thranduil asked, outraged.
"The orcs guard the dungeons," Saelbeth said, "After they left the study my father left his hiding place and climbed out the window onto the tree I was on. He said we couldn't risk being seen by them, we climbed through the trees back to our rooms. That night ada looked for Tauriel but she wasn't in Greenwood- the fake king sent her on an errand or something that day. He came back and I slept. The next morning we woke up, Tauriel was back but her and ada had no time to talk. There were orcs everywhere! But they weren't attacking us, the new king said they were welcome and that they'd help protect Greenwood from outsiders- All the elves were ready to protest, but Tauriel silenced them quickly by saying that everyone was loyal to the king and they'd welcome the alliance with the orcs."
"No one argued?" Thranduil asked, startled.
"No, I think they understood what Tauriel was doing," Saelbeth said, "So far the orcs haven't hurt any elves, but that is because Tauriel made sure no elf was ever alone with an orc. She was given the task of assigning the orcs so she made sure elves always outnumbered the orcs. Most of the orcs stay in the dungeons though. Guarding the king."
"Now how did your father get captured?" Thranduil asked.
"It was a few weeks after the king was captured. He sent me to bed early that night, I woke up the next day when two orcs dragged me from my bed and led me to the dungeons. The fake king claimed that my ada was committing high treason- and I was to be punished too. Tauriel tried to defend me, but-"
The boy broke of with a sob; a few tears ran down his face. Thranduil pulled the boy into his arms.
"Sh-she was ordered out of the dungeons," Saelbeth shook, "I was chained to a wall, and then- I was- they used a horse crop- I couldn't stop them- it hurt!"
"Shhhh, you are safe now,"
"I don't know how many times I was hit, but it hurt so much," Saelbeth cried, "After it was over I was thrown in a barrel- I felt drunk from the fumes left behind from the wine! They left me in there for so long, I don't know how long it took but after some time… I was put in a prison room, the king- the fake king said my father was paying the price for his treachery and that I would be allowed to remain in the room so long as I was quiet and I behaved. And that my ada behaved."
"I wonder where Silinde is… my father is in the dungeons then," Thranduil said, thoughtfully. "I may have a way to see him, but I will have to wait until past midnight, if I am caught I will endanger us all…"
"I just received a call from Gil-Galad," Azog and Saruman looked up at the shapeshifter that entered with Denethor. "One of Thranduil's friends wishes to come to assist Thranduil with the wedding preparations. The elf will arrive in three days times with his mate."
"Who?" Saruman asked, his eyes darkening.
"Erestor and with him, Glorfindel," the shifter replied.
"The balrog slayer," Saruman murmured, "Let them come, but once they are here, try to keep them separated. Keep Glorfindel with the elven guard. Let the other be with his friend. I am sure a few well-placed threats will keep Thranduil under control. Remove his son from his side if we must."
"I'll let him know tomorrow morning," Azog grumbled, "I think I might break him in half if I see him now."
"If you want I can beat him up again," the shapeshifter smirked, "I like his cries of pain, they're almost as good as my Silinde's."
"And I thought the orc was the bloodthirsty one," Denethor murmured. "I take my leave now. I need to tend to Boromir."
"Is he feeling better?" Saruman asked.
"Yes, the potion seems to be working," Denethor said, "The stupid boy that hurt him has been expelled. It's a good thing knowing the principal personally."
"Well, it's settled then," Thorin murmured. "I have to wait until the wedding unless if you two think another time is easier."
"We will bring him back home," Glorfindel said, positively.
"So I might as well go home then," Thorin said. His fellow dwarves had long gone; Bilbo had left with his little hobbits. Two days had past and tomorrow was the day Erestor and Glorfindel were going to leave for Mirkwood.
"You are welcome to stay here again tonight," Elrond offered. Thorin shook his head, "The door will be open for you whenever you return."
"Thank you," Thorin smiled, grateful for the support as he picked up Kíli who was sound asleep beside Rumil, who murmured in his sleep when Kíli was removed from his arms. "Come Fíli. Good night and thank you."
The older of his boys followed him outside quietly past Celeborn and Erestor stood discussing Haldir's expulsion, Estel stood beside them listening intently before he disappeared to the playroom to find the blonde teenage elf. Celeborn and Erestor fell silent waving goodbye to the dwarf who buckled both his nephews in and drove off. He didn't go far though; the dwarf parked his car in Thranduil's driveway. The orc body had been removed and taken care of thanks to Ereinion.
"What are we doing here Uncle?" Fíli asked.
"Staying here tonight," Thorin sighed; he needed to be close to the elf. Lying in his bed, breathing in his scent would have to do. Soon enough he had both boys tucked in Legolas's room. The dwarf picked up the elf boy's favourite bear and took it with him to Thranduil's room. He undressed and slid into the large bed, breathing in the scent of his lover as he held the bear close to his chest. "Oh Thranduil, I pray you are okay. I miss you so much."
Thorin- you big softie!
