Author's Note: Hi everyone! So the weekend turned out to be a lot busier than I thought, but just like I promised, here is the next chapter:) I reworked this one a bit after I realized there are some things I want to add. That means Vauseman has been carried over to the next chapter. Not long now! Huge thanks to all the guests who left comments on the last chapter, and a quick shout out to chocgirl, OITNBReader, lia, RJVause, dillydill11, Librarybook, ejm137, kirthika05, ne aldit, IShipVauseman, Peyton pierre, dali14, Icarriedawatermelon, ri09, Jonna66, Laylor x Vauseman, IloveSweden :) You guys rock!
Post Script: The line break in the middle is a change of POV to Piper:)
Chapter 12
"Is this your idea of fifteen minutes?" Fig saunters into the room with her signature air of superiority and expensive perfume.
I snap the final film into place on the lightbox and turn to her. "You know the labs are backed up today."
"No excuse," she says, and comes forward to get a closer look, arms folded tightly across her chest. "What am I looking at?"
I know the right thing to do is answer the questions my attending asks. But it's been a long morning, and I've never really been good at doing right things according to other people's standards… "We are over capacity, under-staffed, and I'm pretty sure I just made a lifelong enemy of the guy in radiology to get you these. A little acknowledgement would be nice."
Her eyebrows shoot up as she considers me. "You mean a pat on the head every time you do something? You want me to throw little doggie biscuits for you to snap out of the air with that yapping jaw of yours?" I purse my lips. She rolls her eyes. The dance continues. "If you want nice, you're barking up the wrong attending."
"Whatever." I dismiss her and go back to the films in front of us. I think it's best if I just get used to the fact that she's never going to not be an unbearable bitch. "A2 and 3 shows the mass has significantly increased in size since her last scan, and over here on B4, you can clearly see it's already started perf-"
"You know," Fig interrupts, and when I look at her, I realize she hasn't been looking at the films at all, but has been standing here staring at me instead. "Your text book knowledge makes you look good and it'll get you far, but you are yet to learn the thing that'll get you through this program."
"And you're about to tell me what that thing is, right?" So full of it. So predictable.
"It's how to hold your tongue when you're supposed to." And the way she says it, the snark that curls her lips when she does, it pisses me off even more.
"Well maybe I'd do better at keeping my mouth shut if you quit goading me every chance you get." The words roll out of me despite what she just said, but I don't even care because it's like her face and that smirk awakens something in me that doesn't want to obey rules. "It's like you relish any opportunity to pick on me, or break me down or whatever, and if you don't get the opportunity – you create it. You want me to hold my tongue? Stop provoking me into using it."
The staredown begins, just like in the ward earlier. Only this time, I notice the smirk on her face slowly change. Her features shift from insulting and patronizing to… what is that? Satisfaction?
"I think I'm going to keep you," she says with an approving nod. "Now start again. And a little advice… if you use the correct terminology when we make you read these, it helps solidify the information in your head. Like studying on the job." I can't speak. She's helping? "Oh for god's sake don't look at me like that. It's just a tip. Use it, don't use it, I don't care. Again…"
"Uh, m-mediastinal tumor located on the…" I feel the battle rage inside me – to keep the words from coming out of my mouth that really have no place coming out, not to her. "Why'd you do it?" Her uncharacteristic niceness has created the perfect opening for me to get the question off my chest. She's either gonna claw my eyes out, or answer me. Either way, I know how to handle her so I'm good.
"Now? Here?"
"I just wanna know," I say with a shrug, and dig my hands into my pockets to keep them from fidgeting. I need her to see me playing this cool.
"Fine I'll play," she says eventually. "I told the Chief about you and Chapman because I like buttons and I like pushing them, and in case you haven't noticed… she has millions. Just begging for it. I couldn't resist."
"That's real mature."
"Don't give me that. I mean, she did collude with you to go against previously established orders to-"
"But he didn't have to know about us. You could've reported the incident without-"
"Could I have?" She cocks her head to the side, studying me with interest. "No seriously, I'm asking. With the little you know about me, and with what I've just told you about my penchant for buttons… do you honestly think I would've walked out of that office without letting that little nugget drop?" I take a breath. There are lines that can be crossed with her, I've found, but smashing her head into a lightbox might just be taking it too far. "Get over it," she says over my silent response. "Chapman's fine. The Chief's favorite shall live to die another day. And you – you're here to learn, so start again."
Topic closed. End of discussion. She gave me an honest answer even though she didn't need to, and I can respect that. So for the first time since I started at Litchfield – without a fight or back chat or stroppy attitude – I do as I'm told.
"Hey," Polly says as she falls in step beside me, and her timing, it immediately makes me think that this meeting didn't happen by chance. That she'd been camping out in this hallway waiting for me to get out of surgery. "How'd it go?
"Routine for me. Wash'll probably be in there for a while."
"So you won't be wanting these then?" She sticks out her hand to me, forcing me to slow down.
Skittles. It started out as a much-needed sugar rush after my first lengthy surgery years ago. Now it's my post-op ritual. And by the looks of it, her peace offering.
"No thanks." I keep my eyes straight ahead when I say it, but it's like I can hear her smile dropping next to me.
We walk in silence then, the candy rustling in the pocket of her lab coat with every step. In the general bustle of Litchfield, there's no reason I should be aware of this. But awkward silence doesn't happen between us ever, so I am. I'm so aware it muffles out everything else. The olive branch I didn't want to take, taunting me from inside her coat.
"What are you doing?" I ask eventually, pressing the button at the elevator that'll take me back to the sanctuary of the surgeon's lounge.
"I don't know, following you? You're not talking to me, it looks like you're going out of your way to avoid me, you won't eat the Skittles… All weekend you've been-"
"What do you want from me?" The elevator dings gratefully, and I step inside, punching 1 a little harder than is necessary.
"I want you to talk," Polly says, jumping through the shrinking gap as the doors close. "And I'll keep this up until it happens, so you can forget about-"
"Why'd you tell him?" I've been contemplating this moment for days, painfully analyzing exactly how it'll happen and what I'll say. How I'll ease into it, set up the right parameters. But inside the safety of the elevator, it's actually easy to just get to the point. "Why'd you tell the Chief about me and Alex?" I'm a little more specific since she looks like she doesn't have a clue about what I'm talking about.
"You and Alex? I didn't-"
"You can drop the act, Pol. Your name came up. I know you spoke to him."
"Yeah he asked me about her, but I never-"
"So what did you tell him then?"
"We talked about work, Piper. Just work, I swear."
The great thing about knowing someone so long you can read them like a book, is that you know instantly when they're lying. She isn't. My agitation starts to simmer down. It's still there, but not in the way that I feel like biting her head off.
"So all this is about Alex?" she asks in amazement. "She's the reason you've been treating me like-"
"I haven't been treating you like anything. I just-" There's another ding and the doors slide open, stopping my words. Once I'm sure there's no-one standing there waiting to get on, I continue. "I just needed space." She follows me off the elevator and we walk slowly, in case the lounge we're heading to isn't empty. This conversation must be had, but we can't have it with an audience.
"Space? But I didn't do anything wrong."
"So you never told him about us, but whatever you said helped him make up his mind about her." I fix her with a knowing look. I can tell she knows what I'm thinking.
"I was honest. With him, with you… you know what I think of her and her methods. She's good, but she's not a good fit here."
We reach the door to the surgeon's lounge and I stop to look at her. "It wasn't your place. There was a chance I could've handled this. You know the Chief. I could've brought him around with the Alex thing if it was just me against Fig. But how do you think it felt for me to get in there and hear that I was up against you too?"
"Could've brought him around? Piper, what are you talking about? You barely know her."
The force I use to push through the door makes it swing wildly on its hinges, forcing Polly to grab it as she comes up behind me or risk being hit in the face. We're alone. I stand in the middle of the room and wait for her to quietly shut the door, as if that will make up for the way I just burst through it.
"It was unfair. You made her look like some kind of delinquent when you know… you know she's better than that." I notice my hand shaking as I point at her, and then I notice my whole body is actually shaking. So much for agitation simmering down…
"Piper, calm d-"
"What do you think Friday would've looked like if she weren't here? With most of our residents at the bio conference, half our nurses on time-keeping suspensions… She saved all of our asses in some way or another, and instead of standing up for her, you all rally to get her cut?"
"How was I supposed to know it was heading that way?!" Polly finally makes it away from the door, like my tirade of words were pinning her to it and now that I've stopped she can break free. "He didn't say anything about cutting her, just asked what I thought of her work. Which was so left-field and with everything else-"
"That's no excuse."
"I'm not saying it is. I'm saying I get called up out of nowhere, a hundred things going on at the same time, and then the Chief asking me what I think about a first year I don't even know? What am I supposed to do with that? I was hungry, and tired, and had at least four life or death beds on my watch! I didn't know what the fuck was going on in general, let alone the intricate details of what I was or wasn't allowed to say about your supposed one-night stand who you weren't even interested in the last time I checked, but who, apparently, you were willing to bring the Chief around for, I mean what is that about? She's nobody, but she has us standing here, yelling at each other in the middle of what should've been a coffee and a bagel! What did I miss, Piper? What the hell is going on with you?"
I take a step back and drop into the nearest chair after that punch to the gut. I think in some ways, a physical fight would've hurt a lot less. The truth is hard to hear, and when it comes from the only person in the world you implicitly trust it's even worse. I have no right to be mad at her. But I am mad, and it has to be directed somewhere. Polly, out of breath from the massive point she just made, comes to take the chair beside me and in that second I know who I'm mad at. Myself.
I'm the one who brought us to this point. The back and forth with Alex, one minute hating her and the next, wanting her more than I've wanted anything. How can I blame Polly for not knowing what was going on when I don't think I even knew? Maybe I still don't.
"Sorry," I offer an apology that sounds kind of pathetic after all that.
"Sure," she accepts it easily, and I love her for it. "And hey, maybe this is for the best since your first instinct about her was right." I fix her with a questioning look. "What's that saying? When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh." She straightens in her chair, and now looks as confused as I feel. "I thought we were talking about Alex."
"We are. But what do you mean, my first instinct? What did she show me the first time?"
"Uh… that she was bad news?" she says, like it should be obvious to me. "Piper, she picked you up in a bar, lied to you about never seeing you again-"
"She didn't technically lie about that," I find myself covering for Alex and at the same time hating the direction this talk just took.
"Well, whatever, that night she showed you the kind of person she is and while you're here feeling bad for her and talking about going up against the Chief for her benefit, she's already moved on to her next victim."
Victim? A chill creeps up my spine, wraps around my neck, and settles in my chest. Heavy, like a block of ice. Is that what I was to Alex? That's not what it felt like.
I don't wanna be friends, Piper.
"What do you mean?" I ask softly, even though I don't want to know. I'm ready to end this conversation without ever knowing.
She's moved to the other end of the room to grab a coffee. Happy that things between us are okay again, talking like this is normal, the way we do… totally unaware that I'm definitely not okay and nothing is normal.
"Remember the rumors I told you about? Her and that nurse?" She turns, both her hands hugging the LGH mug, thin tendrils of steam playing over her face as she blows into it. I nod stiffly and she takes a sip. "Turns out they're not just rumors. I saw them come in together this morning."
I keep my composure. At least, I think I do. This is nothing. And even if it is. Me and Alex are supposed to be over. "So they arrived together. That doesn't mean-"
"Arrived together on the same bike together. In my book that does mean…"
"Doctor Chapman?" I didn't even notice anyone come into the lounge, and now Two's standing in front of me. "The films you asked for." She places the white envelope on the table.
"Thanks." I swipe for them without looking up, grabbing the opportunity for a hasty exit. Polly's words are still bouncing around my head and I use all the strength I have to pretend I'm in my body, in this room, walking out, and not off somewhere else. Someplace where what she told me is a lie.
Post post script: I am having so much fun with the Alex/Fig dynamic. Natalie is such a great character to write for. Anyway, I just felt like sharing that:) New chapter should be up tomorrow!
