Beauty and the Bat

Step 11: Belligerent

A/N: This chapter could also be called "Miniature" for obvious reasons. Anyway, yay, a quicker update! (Sorry it's shorter than I wanted it to be.) Thanks to those of you who bear with me. I adore you all.

TwilightAnimeLover21~~ Nope, I'm as alive as ever ^^ Even more so knowing somebody actually reads my work! Thanks for your patience. :D

Lilac Rose6~~ I'm glad, and I KNOOW! Chibiness is so Kawaii! :D And thanks you all for reading the author's notes. See? Sometimes they're actually more than just ways to boost the word count. XD

All the GrimIchi fans reading this (there are more than I thought! :O )~~ I was considering it… But I think I'll save it for the next series (oops, a spoiler!) and keep this one focused on UlquiHime. ^^ Look for it in the future!

Warning: More profanity and most likely vulgarity in upcoming chapters, thanks to a certain…'grim' kitten. (Hence the change in rating.)

Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I also do not own the lyrics posted in each chapter. They give me my inspiration while writing, so please listen to them. :D


*~UlquiHime~*

~I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive. So I'm going to start over tonight, beginning with you and I. When this memory fades, I'm gonna make sure it's replaced with chances taken; hope embraced. ~ Miracle by Paramore


Kisuke Urahara was rendered speechless for the first time in over a hundred years.

His face was shadowed by his hat as usual, but in the darkness his gray eyes were widened slightly. He couldn't believe this. Oh, wasn't fate funny? He could've burst out in laughter. But he, as well as a human Yoruichi, was too busy accepting their latest revelation and trying to figure what to make of it. Said 'revelation' was tromping around the coffee table and yelling incomprehensible strings of profanity at the top of his miniature lungs. With black clawed hands, he was clutching his head and tugging at the roots of his powder-blue tresses.

"That fucking clown is just as bad as that bitch Szayel-Aporro! I swear I'll freakin' blow his damn brains out with Gran Rey Cero! That son-of-a-whore thinks he can get away with this! Bullshit! I'll show him!"

Kisuke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. The minified Sexta Espada had been ranting like this since Nemu showed up with him in hand.

The shop owner had been enjoying his Saturday of little business and a lot of time to reminisce with Yoruichi on the good old days: back when the Soul Society was only on their backs for the creation and experimentation of the Hougyoku and not for giving hospitality to the enemy on top of that. Yeah, those were the days. But the calm Saturday morning atmosphere struck a solemn note upon the arrival of an unregistered Hell Butterfly. It had announced the crossing of Nemu Kurotsuchi through the Senkaimon, stating her reason was urgent. By the time the ex-Shinigami descended into the training room below the shop, Nemu was already exiting the makeshift portal and skidding to a stop.

"Why, hello there, Kurotsuchi-san!" Urahara had greeted with a tilt of his striped hat. "To what do I owe the pleasure today?"

Nemu had been stone-faced as she pulled her cupped hands from her bosom, holding them out to Kisuke. The pale-blonde quirked an eyebrow at the swearing that immediately reached his ears.

"Damnit woman, you tryin' to smother me? I thought you said you were against that fucking clown!" was all Kisuke caught flying from the small, fanged mouth. But it was enough for Urahara to gather—from Ichigo's description of him—that the miniature, panther-like creature was none other than the Sexta Espada: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez.

And ever since then, Grimmjow had been cursing Mayuri Kurotsuchi. But now, finally, someone decided it was time to put a leash on the feral beast.

"That's enough, Grimmjow." Yoruichi said sternly. In her human form, she sat cross-legged next to Kisuke, across from Nemu. Her arms were folded over her well endowed chest, and she wore her usual sleeve- and backless black undershirt with the usual black stretch pants. Yoruichi's black fur was now long purple hair pulled up into a ponytail, but her eyes were still intelligent pools of gold.

"Listen lady, I'm not taking orders from you." Grimmjow rounded on her. Though, the intimidation intended for the action wasn't affective considering his size. Realizing this, Grimmjow growled. "Just tell me how to get my body back so I can beat that fucking clown to a bloody pulp!"

"Grim Kitty, please calm down." Nemu spoke calmly. "Your frustration is understandable, but you need to lower your tone before you're discovered."

"'Calm down'!" Grimmjow shouted in his slightly-higher-than-usually pitched voice. Through his anger he failed to register the moniker Nemu had already christened him with. "How can I fucking 'calm down' when—!"

"Grimmjow."

Three pairs of eyes shifted to the shop owner, who hadn't spoken until now as he tried to make sense of the situation. Urahara's interruption hadn't been a yell, but his voice held all the authority and warning of a man who held the power here. The tone pissed Grimmjow off even further, but the nearly-threatening gleam in the large man's shadowed eyes reminded him of Aizen's 'warning' glares, and he shut up. The last time Grimmjow dared to rebel against that gaze, he'd lost an arm, and he really came to appreciate having the limb back since then.

Thanks to Orihime Inoue.

The memory of that pale, auburn haired girl temporarily shifted Grimmjow's train of thought as he came up with an idea. Dumb ass! He couldn't believe he'd been too blinded by rage to see the obvious solution right in front of him.

"Get that Inoue-chick over here!" Grimmjow demanded. He folded his arms, making prominent the blades that protruded from the forearms of his armor-like attire. "You can't tell me she doesn't know how to fix this!"

"I'm afraid that is exactly the case." Kisuke replied evenly, his expression unchanging.

"What did you say!"

Yoruichi now sighed in exasperation and leaned forward, propping an elbow on her knee and resting her chin in her palm. She should've known the Cuatro's appearance wasn't the end of the drama: now they had the belligerent Sexta to deal with. As least Cifer had been cooperative; Jaegerjaquez wasn't even attempting to listen to reason. Still, she had to try. "Listen, Grimmjow. Orihime can reverse injuries—as I'm sure you know—but she can't heal something like smallness. You'll just have to wait for—"

"Fuck that!" Grimmjow interrupted, storming across the table toward the woman. "An' who're you calling small! I can take you on no matter how damn—!"

"Grimmjow!" Kisuke repeated even more forcefully. Grimmjow froze in his step and whipped his deathly glare up at the male. But once again, the threads of profanity were caught in his throat. He couldn't help it. Grimmjow was never one to respect authority, but there was just something about this guy and that bastard Aizen that choked him as if a collar was being tightened too hard around his neck.

"I would appreciate it if you kept the cursing to a minimum." Kisuke said much more softly, even smiling a bit, causing Grimmjow to mentally shudder. "After all, there are children in the house. I wouldn't like Ginta or Ururu to pick up any bad habits."

Realizing the man was taunting him; Grimmjow broke free of his mental grip and growled, raising a dark fist. "Listen, you—AH! What the hell are you—!"

"But I would like to finish what I was saying." Yoruichi said, who grinned maliciously as she dangled the Pantera from his scruff. Being half a foot tall and low on reiatsu, the Sexta couldn't do anything but kick his pawed feet, shake his fists frantically, and swear for her to put him down—to which she happily didn't comply. "You'll just have to wait for your body to replenish its own energy. Eventually you'll have enough spiritual power to return to normal…well…to a relative normal at least."

"'Relative normal'? What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Grimmjow demanded. But because he was still light-headed from his lack of reiatsu, though he wouldn't dare admit it aloud, he was beginning to feel the weariness set in. Reluctantly allowing his body to go limp to preserve the energy he had left, Grimmjow sent Yoruichi the most menacing glare he could muster. "And put me down already, damn it."

"What she means is that the only 'cure' for your condition is time." Kisuke answered, pointedly sending yet another warning glance to Grimmjow. The Sexta merely huffed—suddenly feeling very drained of all previous liveliness—and folded his arms as he turned his head as far in the opposite direction as he could. "For now," Urahara continued, "you need to stay in the human world. I mean there isn't really any other option, now is there?"

Grimmjow had to admit that the man was right. Even if he somehow managed to create a Garganta back to Las Noches, he'd have nothing to go back to. That bastard Aizen had undoubtedly flown the coop by now, and without him to dangle the Hougyoku's power over Hollow heads, the desert world was once again no-man's-land. This means every remaining Arrancar for him or herself. After all, Adjuchas had been perfectly capable of surviving long before Aizen showed up, so it's not like they needed a leader. And it's not like any of the Arrancar actually enjoyed being ordered around by an enemy: a Shinigami and a Captain, no less. Despite their obedience, not one of them had ever been wholly loyal to the man.

Well, Grimmjow could name one. But who knew where that green eyed robot was now? The last time the Sexta saw him, he'd been being swallowed up by Caja Negación.

Grimmjow sighed profusely as Yoruichi finally decided to set him back down on the table. Once again on his feet, Grimmjow shook himself to rid his body of the feeling of being man-, well, woman-handled. He deeply wanted to punish the woman for her actions, but he was simply too tired now. It was an effort just to stand up straight. The miniature Pantera pushed a clawed hand through his blue locks wearily and tossed an 'I just don't care anymore' glance up at Kisuke.

"Fine." Grimmjow surrendered, plopping himself down on the table with his legs crossed. The white tail that lined his spine curled naturally. "But I ain't sayin' I'm not gonna give you hell for this later. Just know this place had better be freaking entertaining, 'cause I tend to do crazy things when I'm bored."

With that and a lazier, toothier version of his maniacal grin, Grimmjow suddenly slumped over, asleep.

"I'm not surprised he fought it for this long." Urahara mused, whipping out his fan and hiding the tiny smirk of his mouth. Sure, this was a serious situation. Two Espada were now his responsibility unbeknownst to the Soul Society, as was Nemu's treachery a secret and Orihime's safety a priority. But well…things were no doubt going to be even more interesting from now on.

Urahara only wished he could be there to see the facial expressions as discoveries were made.

Kisuke watched as Nemu gently scooped up the slumbering Grimmjow to cradle him to her chest. Her face was stoic as usual, but the green portals that were her eyes revealed a tenderness that Kisuke would've never guessed was there. It caused Kisuke to question why this girl, who had no obligation whatsoever, would risk her life to go to such lengths for her enemy. Kisuke knew Mayuri Kurotsuchi, his old friend and fellow scientist. And if there was one thing Mayuri would never do, it would be to allow his 'daughter' and creation to be a traitor. Just what had been going on in the 12th Squad Barracks since his banishment?

"Kurotsuchi-san, I have to admit I'm curious." Kisuke said from behind his paper fan. "You realize what you're getting yourself into, and yet you continue to dig a deeper hole. I'd love to hear how you plan for all this to turn out."

Nemu was quiet for a few moments, during which she glanced down at the sleeping form in her hands. Grim Kitty's released form was quite different than Little Bat's. The green markings beneath his now closed eyes extended to the tips of his catlike ears. The remainder of his Hollow mask sat as a type of headgear on his forehead. His untamed blue hair reached all the way down to the blades protruding from his calves, and his hollow hole was centered in his abdomen. Complimenting his rugged appearance was Grim Kitty's rebellious personality. Totally different from Little Bat.

But like Little Bat, Grim Kitty deserved to live.

"I honestly haven't planned ahead at all." Nemu finally replied calmly, causing Kisuke and Yoruichi to sweat-drop.

"Do you have any idea how long the restoration of their reiatsu will take?" Yoruichi inquired, to which Nemu also denied. Yoruichi sighed. "The young people these days can be so impulsive."

"Let me tell you…" Kisuke agreed, his mind automatically referring to a certain strawberry for example. For as long as he'd known Ichigo, the kid hardly ever thought logically when his mind was set on something. Perhaps the boy was rubbing off on other people in more ways than he thought…

Wait a minute…Oh…Oh…Whoa…Ichigo.

"Hey you, what's with that grin?" Yoruichi asked skeptically.

When Kisuke didn't finish his thought, Yoruichi thought it was odd. At a moment like that, he would've usually made a totally-unrelated-to-the-serious-topic-at-hand comment about his own youthful days…and then would've went on to pretend to be offended by Yoruichi's comment because he was 'still young and hip'. So when Shihouin glanced over at her friend, she'd been expected to find a solemn expression to signify his deep thinking—she'd even gone as far as to hope he'd suddenly came up with an insight. But no. Instead, his mouth was curled into a wide smirk that Yoruichi could see from this angle.

Urahara just realized this and so shifted the fan to hide his face from both women in his company.

"It's nothing, nothing at all." The shop-owner denied. But the amusement in his voice instantly gave him away.

"This isn't really the time to be keeping tidbits of information to your self, Kisuke." Yoruichi scolded. She slightly narrowed her golden eyes, which was something she hardly ever did toward Urahara. Which meant she was serious.

Kisuke peered at his dark skinned friend from the corner of his twinkling eye. "Hmm…" he judged the gaze he received in return. "As far as you know, Yoruichi, there are only six who know of Ulquiorra's stay in the Human World, including us. Correct?"

"That's right…" Yoruichi confirmed while quirking an eyebrow. For the past week and a half, she'd been keeping tabs on Inoue in her cat form and updating Urahara. So far, Tatsuki Arisawa and Uryu Ishida were the only two of the teen's friends who had seen the little bat. Although Inoue was undoubtedly edgy because of her protectiveness, the girl had done an otherwise fine job of keeping Cifer hidden.

"Well," Urahara continued. "I was only considering the pressure Inoue-san has been under for the past few months. And now she has the fourth Espada to look after." Kisuke lowered his head so that his mischievous eyes were shrouded in his hat's shadow. But his snake-like smile was still glinting.

"I was originally planning to send Grimmjow to Inoue as well. However, now I'm realizing that that may be a bit much to ask for, even from Orihime…"

The females were quiet, both waiting for Urahara's point. Grimmjow's faint and even breathing rippled the room's silence. Yoruichi folded her arms when Kisuke didn't continue. This time though, she couldn't resist a smirk of her own upon realizing that Kisuke was formulating a plan to make this all the more amusing.

"Just what are you getting at, Urahara?"


*~UlquiHime~*


Urahara's plan to send Ichigo a little surprise was rejected. But realizing that his original plan could also prove entertaining, Kisuke happily shooed Nemu off in the direction of Inoue's apartment. Blissfully unaware of the coming drama, Orihime was now humming to the classical music floating from the stereo. She was just about finished knitting a green scarf for Ulquiorra.

Across the table, Uryu silently nibbled at a chocolate chip muffin. Apparently, along with the jackpot of candy, "'Hime's Home Spa" included a countertop of baked goods for the little bat. What the female had forgotten was that the Cuatro's stomach wasn't as large as it used to be, therefore he couldn't possibly eat everything she'd made. When Ishida pointed this out, Ulquiorra's expression of euphoria had deflated as he glared at the Quincy. Uryu wasn't sure why the observation bothered the Espada so much, but whatever the reason, he'd felt a strange sort of satisfaction knowing he could make the Murcielago frown.

Unfortunately, his smugness was smothered when Orihime jumped to console the disappointed Little Bat. Which was why Uryu was now sitting there, silent and staring at the window, as he grudgingly contemplated Inoue's growing feelings for Cifer.

Ulquiorra Cifer, who was, at the moment, sleeping in a cereal bowl.

Indeed. As soon as the teens left Ulquiorra to enjoy his spa day in peace, his blinding hunger was able to take over (seeing as Orihime wasn't there to keep his attention elsewhere). He'd flown up to the ceiling above the candy bowl, and then spiraled straight down into the sugary deliciousness. Heaven. He'd eaten his way right to the bottom of the bowl. By the time he was done, his craving had been fully satisfied for the first time. And rather than feeling the urge to bounce off the walls, all Ulquiorra wanted to do was take a nap. So he curled up right there—tummy full, chest warmed, Orihime at the foreground of his thoughts—and eased into a comfortable slumber.

Ah, Saturday.

Orihime smirked to herself as she finished the last stitch of the scarf. I hope Ulquiorra likes it… she thought as she held it up for inspection. Coincidentally, the color was an emerald green, just like Ulquiorra's eyes. But for some reason, Orihime felt that the comparison didn't do Ulquiorra justice. After all, even if the color was a match, nothing could compare to the intensity of the vortexes that were Ulquiorra's eyes. Orihime realized this as soon as she'd returned to the world of the Living.

Every day of her prison life, Orihime had mourned the absence of color in the blank world of death. She'd missed the blue skies, the purple seas; the pink flowers, the green leaves. She hadn't missed red much, considering the surplus of bloodshed in Las Noches. But she always spent time to mentally embrace the colors of her home. And upon her return, she did so to every color of the rainbow.

Except green.

She'd hated green. Trees. Grass. Bushes. Flower stems. Cars. Clothes. Hairstyles. Anything within a certain range of green, she'd shied away from. She began to welcome her "house arrest" simply because she wouldn't have to see that awful color. For weeks, though, she couldn't figure out why. Yet even when she did begin to have inkling, she wouldn't admit to the reason why she so despised the color green. Because she just couldn't understand why

Everything green was him.

No. Everything period was him. Anything white was his ivory skin. Anything black was his ebony hair. Anything vertical was his perfect posture. Anything cold was his personality. Any place quiet was his presence. Every sound was his voice. Every rhythm was his footfall. Every breeze was his coming and going. And everything else was something he'd never see again.

At least, that's what Orihime told herself every minute until the moment he spited fate and appeared before her once again. Ever since then, anything and everything was something she'd have the chance to share with Ulquiorra. And ever since then

Green was her favorite color.

As he finished the muffin, Uryu's resolve was established. He would bluntly ask about Inoue's feelings for Cifer. Turning to the girl, he wasn't fazed by the soft smile that played on her lips and farsighted focus in his friend's eyes as she gazed at the mini green scarf in her hands. By now, Uryu know that Orihime's distant personality was a result of spending so much time alone in Hueco Mundo…and it was useless to wonder where her mind traveled.

"Inoue-san," Uryu started. Orihime's hazel lenses focused in again, as he expected they would, and locked on him. Uryu continued. "May I ask you something…personal?"

Orihime blinked, several emotions immediately circulating through her veins at the same time. Guilt: she'd forgotten Ishida was there. Embarrassment: she'd been daydreaming about Ulquiorra again. Giddiness: she'd been daydreaming about Ulquiorra again. Yearning: she wanted to go check on Ulquiorra. Curiosity: what could Ishida possibly want to know? Unease: even her friends rarely asked her anything seriously personal. And Uryu sounded serious. The last time anyone spoke to her with that tone of voice, Orihime ended up confessing her love for Ichigo to Rangiku Matsumoto.

Was Uryu going to ask if she still loved Ichigo?

Was Uryu going to confess his love to her?

That's silly, Orihime, she told herself to quell the growing feeling of discomfort. He likes Rukia, remember? Gasp! Maybe he wants to know if I think he has a chance with Rukia! How tragic! Doesn't he know Rukia likes Ichigo?

Wait…does she? Or does she like Renji? If she does, that's tragic too because her brother won't let them be together. It's like Romeo and Juliet! But then…where does that leave Ichigo, as Paris? And what about Uryu? But wait…if it's me he likes, then of course I have to let him down gently. Because I already have Ulqui—

Orihime gasped just as there was a knock at the front door.

"H…hold onto that thought, Ishida-kun." Orihime said quickly, just as swiftly getting to her feet. Her face felt warm, and she knew that she had to be blushing. Confusion: what had she just been thinking about Ulquiorra? Relief: whoever was at the door just saved her from a terribly awkward moment. Déjà vu: Ulquiorra had been about to ask her something earlier when Uryu showed up. Guilt: she never answered his question. Curiosity: what had Ulquiorra wanted to know? Special: it seemed like a lot of people wanted to ask her questions today.

Yanking open the front door without thinking to name the familiar reiatsu, Orihime was surprised to find Nemu Kurotsuchi on her doorstep. Her mind briefly remembered the Friday night a couple of weeks ago, and she was once again filled with compassion and gratitude toward the girl in front of her. This was the woman who returned Ulquiorra to her, and for that Orihime would be forever grateful. Besides, with daylight rather than darkness in her background, Nemu was much more lovable.

"Kurotsuchi-san, hi! How are you today?" Orihime greeted brightly.

Nemu couldn't help but smirk in response. She knew that she now had a special bond—called Little Bat—with this human girl, and that connection was about to be deepened. "Hello Orihime Inoue. My systems are adequate. Are you functioning properly as well?"

Orihime looked confused for a moment, but then she started laughing. Nemu was just as literal as Ulquiorra had been when she first met him. "Yep, no malfunctions here." She winked at Nemu, who merely blinked in response, and continued. "Would you like to come in? I made sweets. Ishida-kun is here too. And Ulquiorra has wanted to see you again."

The lieutenant didn't move other than to open her mouth to speak. "Sadly I must leave, for my captain will be expecting me. Tell Little Bat that I will be back to visit him as soon as I can. For now though, I'm afraid I must ask you for another favor."

"I'd be happy to help!" Orihime beamed. Anything to help the person to whom she owed her restored happiness.

Nemu looked down to where, Orihime just noticed, she was cradling something to her chest. "Kisuke Urahara thought it would be best for you to look after Grim Kitty in addition to Little Bat. If it's not too much trouble of course."

"'Grim Kitty'?"

In retrospect, Orihime knew she shouldn't have been as surprised as she was. After all, if Ulquiorra had come back to her, she should've expected the rest of the universe's impossible to happen somehow too, right?

Still, Orihime was shocked to discover, when she leaned closer, Pantera—loud, malevolent Grimmjow—taking a cat nap in Nemu's palms.