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Robot of Sherwood – Part Three

Clara sat at one end of a long, food covered table, facing the Sheriff. "Eat, my Lady, eat. Let it not be said that the Sheriff of Nottingham is a poor host" he prompted, gesturing to the array of admittedly delicious looking food. Clara didn't feel particularly hungry however. "I had a bag of crisps this morning, thanks" she excused herself.

"Your words are strange, fair one".

"Mmm, I should think they are".

"But I like you. You're refreshingly direct".

"You can take the girl out of Blackpool" Clara shrugged slightly. The Sheriff had several items laid out in front of him; sandwiches wrapped in cling film, the Doctor's spoon and sonic screwdriver, and the Corsair's blaster. "Taken from your friends strange tunics" he explained, "An intriguing gallimaufry, including this wand and this weapon" he fingered the sonic and the blaster, "Evidently things of awesome power. Tell me; are you from beyond the stars?"

"You're the one with the robot army, you tell me".

/

Meanwhile, the Doctor and Robin were arguing again over who should play what part of Robin's new plan. "I'm sorry?" the Doctor asked indignantly when Robin first suggested what he should do. "You know, beat your breast, moan, groan as though twenty devils possessed your guts" Robin elucidated. The Doctor stared at him. "What for?" he asked sceptically.

"So as to attract the attention of that gargoyle-faced guard" explained Robin. The Corsair rolled his eyes and said, "We don't need to get the guard", but the other two weren't listening. "It won't work if I do it" Robin insisted. The Doctor gave him a disbelieving look and demanded, "Why not?"

"Oh, because you're clearly more advanced in years and you have a sickly aspect to you".

"I have a what?"

"You're as pale as milk. It's the way with Scots. They're strangers to vegetables".

"I'm not moaning, you moan".

"Guys!" the Corsair snapped, "Listen for one minute, will you? We don't need to lure the guard in" he insisted. The Doctor stared at him and inquired, "And how else do you propose we get the keys?"

"We don't need keys either. If we pull forwards with all our strength at the same time we should be able to snap the chains from the metal hoops" he explained. Robin frowned and tried to twist to look over his shoulder at the hoop. "Do you really think that will work?" he inquired.

"These chains are rusted, the structural integrity should be compromised and with an application of tension – yes! Corsair, your plan might very well work" the Doctor nodded. The older Time Lord smirked, whilst Flavia rolled her eyes. "It's more likely to break our wrists than the chains" she protested. The Corsair sighed and admitted, "Eh, there was a time when I could slip out of handcuffs by breaking my own wrist. I've gotten out of practice".

"I hardly think it's the sort of habit you want to pick back up, really" Romana deadpanned, squirming into a kneeling position. "It's worth a try if it means rescuing Emily" she decided, "Are you ready Doctor?"

"As I'll ever be" he replied, getting on his knees. "Oh, for goodness sake" Flavia huffed in exasperation, kneeling as well. "Okay, on the count of three, right?" the Corsair said, "One, two, three!"

They all lunged forward and pulled on the taut chains, straining with fierce effort. Beads of sweat broke out on brows, tears filled eyes at the pain that shot through their arms. Flavia was the first to collapse back against her stone post, panting and wincing with pain. Then Romana let her chain go slack and heaved a breath, trying not to cry. She slowly realised that the Doctor was no longer pulling on the chains either; she'd have expected him to fight longer, if it meant beating Robin.

Pulling on these chains would hurt you more; even beating this arrogant buffoon isn't worth that he explained in her head, making her gasp softly. They'd been trying to close each other off from their minds, to deny the bond they had simply because they were both stubborn and neither wanted to admit, even in private, that they might have been wrong.

Unbeknownst to Romana, the Doctor had also spent the night lying awake and thinking (whilst also keeping an eye on the Merry Men, just to make absolutely sure none of them snuck over to Emily and tried to lie down closer to her). Looking back at the debacle, he could see how what he'd done could be construed as 'immoral' or 'unethical' – but someone had to make the difficult decisions, to not stop and mourn everyone who died. It wasn't like they hadn't faced scenarios like this before, so what was different about this time?

Even Robin and the Corsair gave up trying to break the chains at last. "Well, that didn't work" the Time Lord commented, making the Doctor roll his eyes in annoyance. "Yes, thank you, Captain Obvious. Fortunately for us, I've decided to implement Robin's plan with my own twist" he declared. Robin eyed him suspiciously. "What twist?"

The Doctor didn't reply; instead, he took a deep breath and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Guard! GUARD! I demand to be told where my daughter is!"

The guard actually unlocked the door and stuck his head in the door. "What are you yelling about?" he asked warily, frowning at the Doctor. "My daughter! What has that miserable cur the Sheriff done to my daughter?" he demanded. It was easy to act the part of an angry father because he was angry that Emily had been taken away where he couldn't protect her. Emily had contacted him earlier, revealing that the robots were turning molten gold into circuit boards and killing exhausted peasants. He'd ordered her to focus on staying alive, and then Robin had come up with his 'lure the guard' plan.

"You mean the pretty young maid the knights led off? I cannot tell you what's happened to her" the guard shook her head. The Doctor glared at him and was about to make a scathing reply…when he heard a sob from behind him. "Please" Romana begged tearfully, "Please tell us where our daughter is! We're so worried!" she pleaded. Her sobs were very convincing, as the guard fidgeted uncomfortably. "Err, well, err, I'm sure she's fine, my Lady…"

"B-but what if she's not? What if the Sheriff has k-k-killed her?!" Romana wailed. The Doctor wondered where she'd learned to fake cry like this. I found out making dinner once that just thinking of onions makes me tear up she explained briefly, looking over her shoulder at the very uncomfortable guard with tears streaking her distraught expression. He shook his head helplessly. "I, I don't know, my Lady…"

"What if we exchange valuable information?" the Doctor suggested. The guard's face became even uglier as he scrunched it up in confusion. "Beg pardon?" The Doctor resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the stupid pudding brain, and reiterated, "Tell us where they took our daughter, and he'll tell you where his hideout is". He nodded at Robin, who glared at him indignantly.

"Why can't he tell me where his hideout is first?"

"Well, because I won't give up such a secret easily" Robin pointed out, "but the whereabouts of their daughter shouldn't really be a secret, should it? You only have to tell us where the other prisoners are kept". The guard eyed him sceptically. "If I tell you where their young lady is, you'll tell me where your hideout is, Robin Hood?"

"Actually…I have an even bigger secret to impart".

"You do?"

"Oh, yes. The Prince has promised a bounty".

"A big one?"

"An enormous one" Robin nodded. The guard came closer and knelt down in front of him. "What is the secret?" he inquired eagerly. Robin's nose twitched at the foul smell of the man's breath. "That was not our agreement. The location of Lady Emily, thank you" he insisted. The guard turned to the Doctor, who also nearly gagged at his breath, and explained, "Your daughter will be with the other peasants, in a dungeon below the central keep. That is all I know. Now tell me the secret!" he urged Robin.

"Come closer". The guard leaned in. "Your breath stinks like a serpent, has anyone ever told you that?" Robin informed him before head-butting him, hard. The unconscious guard crumpled to the floor. "I've gotta say, that was an impressive bit of acting, Romana" the Corsair complimented. She shrugged and replied, "It helps when it's not all acting. Can one of you reach the keys?" she asked the Doctor and Robin.

"I can get them".

"No, no, I've got them".

"Oi! If you keep squabbling over those keys you're going to knock them into the drain" Flavia pointed out, making the Doctor and Robin freeze. "I know this is a novel concept but you could try working together, you know" she deadpanned. The outlaw and Time Lord glanced at one another. "I'll nudge the keys closer to you and you pick them up?" the Doctor suggested. Robin nodded quickly; Flavia was right, they couldn't afford to bicker, not now.

/

"But enough of tawdry matters; let us talk of softer, sweeter things" the Sheriff smiled at Clara, spearing a sweetmeat with his dagger. Clara blinked and realised that he was flirting with her…well, that was creepy, but perhaps she could use it to her advantage. "Ah. Good, yes, I was hoping we'd get round to that" she nodded. The Sheriff swallowed his sweetmeat and asked, "You were?"

"Mmm, for I have known I was destined to draw the eye of a great and powerful man for a long time. Ever since I saw those mysterious lights in the sky".

"You saw them too?"

"And those strange mechanical men, with their promises".

"I too have experienced this".

"Really? Well, I would never have guessed" Clara remarked. The Sheriff didn't appear to notice the sarcasm in her voice. "Tell me your story" she asked him, but he responded with "Tell me yours".

"Oh, no, no, no, no. But you have to go first" she insisted, shaking her head. "Why so?" the Sheriff inquired, a tad suspiciously, or perhaps she was just imagining it. Either way Clara knew just what to do. "Because great men always precede" she reasoned, pandering to his ego. The Sheriff smiled. "You have a point" he acknowledged. Clara nodded, and prompted "Your story, then".

"Once upon a time, there was a brave and clever and handsome man".

"I can almost picture him. I don't even have to close my eyes".

"Unappreciated by his royal master".

"Prince John?"

"The very same".

"Then came the lights in the sky, and everything changed" Clara continued for him. The Sheriff resumed his story. "The sky-ship came to Earth in a fury of fire".

"I'd almost call it a crash; I remember it well".

"A craft from the heavenly spheres, bedight with twinkling lights and miracles beyond imagining. The most beautiful thing the brave and handsome man had ever seen".

"And I suppose the mechanical men saw you as their natural leader?"

"It was I and I alone to whom the mechanical men then imparted their secrets. Shortly, I shall be the most powerful man in the realm. King in all but name, for Nottingham is not enough".

"It isn't?"

"After this, Derby".

"Right"

"Then Lincoln. And after Lincoln…"

"Worksop?" Clara suggested. The Sheriff stabbed his dagger into the map laid out on the table and announced, "The world!"

/

With difficulty, more than he wanted to admit to, the Doctor got the keys to Robin, who managed to uncuff himself (he had some experience with getting out of prisons, not as much as the Doctor, but the others had warned them not to even think about arguing over who was a better escapee). Once Robin had freed the Corsair, and the Corsair had freed everyone else, the Doctor immediately took Romana's hands and examined the marks on her wrists, gently running his thumbs over them.

He quickly realised what he was doing and dropped her hands, clearing his throat and saying "Err, come on, we need to find Emily, figure out what these robots are building gold circuits for". Romana smiled a little when his back was turned; he'd been so thoughtful and tender just then, the way he'd been when he first regenerated. They really did have to sit down and talk properly about their argument, she knew that, but right now she had other priorities.

Normally, Flavia wouldn't want to involve herself in other people's affairs; but Romana had become a dear friend over the centuries, and she was even fond of the Doctor despite how frustrating he could be. "I just contacted Emily. She's still alive, she's trying to get the other prisoners to rally together and fight back but they're too afraid of the robots" Romana explained when she came out of a telepathic conversation with her daughter.

They decided that the Corsair would go to find his blaster and the Doctor's sonic, Romana would go find Emily, and the Doctor, Flavia and Robin (he wasn't too pleased about being stuck with the 'long haired ninny') would investigate the robots. As they made their way through the corridors, Robin in the lead to check for guards lying in wait, Flavia tentatively reached out telepathically and informed the Doctor, Romana just wants you to apologise, you know.

For what? He asked a bit snappishly, but it was preferable to him ignoring her entirely. I couldn't save Kai, Ross or Gretchen, and I knew Emily would be able to get into the TARDIS…she did get into the TARDIS, didn't she?

Of course Flavia replied; it wasn't technically a lie, but do you feel guilty?

For not being able to save them, you mean? There's no point in thinking about what I 'could have done', or 'should have'…the point is, they were killed and there was nothing I could do the Doctor maintained. He wanted to add that they were soldiers, they were facing Daleks, they should have been expecting to die…but he couldn't bring himself to. They were young, assuming Kai was near to Journey's age…compared to the Time Lords they were children. I suppose…I do feel regret that they died he admitted.

Perhaps you should let Romana know that Flavia suggested gently, before breaking contact. The Doctor frowned, looking over his shoulder as if expecting to see Romana there. The fact was, no matter how hard he tried to hold onto his anger, she was…seared onto his hearts too much. He took a deep breath and ordered himself to focus. First he'd deal with the robots, and the Sheriff, and rescue Emily…and then he'd see to repairing his marriage.

/

"So what are you hanging around here for, then, Your Majesty?" Clara asked the Sheriff, "Why are you bothering to squeeze pips out of peasants if you've got a sky-ship on stand-by?"

"Enough questions. I'm impatient to hear your story".

"Oh, but I do not have one. I was lying".

"Lying?"

"Yeah. People are so much better at sharing information if they think the other person has already got it".

"Oh, that's very clever".

"Thank you".

"You'll do very well".

"For what?"

"Doesn't every king require a consort?" the Sheriff smirked, leaning over to kiss Clara. She ducked away and pointed a warning finger at him. "Right, you do that again and you'll regret that" she said quickly, backing away from the Sheriff. His eyes narrowed. "Guard!" he called out. A normal, non-mechanical guard strode in. "Take this wench back to the dungeon, put her to work" the Sheriff ordered imperiously. The guard promptly karate chopped him on the shoulder, sending the man crumpling to the floor, and pulled off his helmet. "Hello, Clara" the Corsair grinned, "now where's my blaster?"

/

As they snuck up some stone steps, Flavia's eye was caught by a metal doorway that looked distinctly out of place given that all the other doorways were wooden. She pointed it out to the Doctor, who grinned and went through it, leaving her and Robin no choice but to follow. The room inside was Spartan and metallic, with a console panel situated at the far end. "At last" the Doctor smiled in satisfaction, "Something real. No more fairy tales".

"What is this place?" Robin asked warily, looking around in wonder. "A spaceship" replied Flavia, "I'd say, at a guess…from the twenty ninth century or thereabouts. What do the data banks say?" she asked the Doctor, who was in the middle of opening them. The craft's intended destination was displayed on a screen. "The Promised Land again. Like the Half-Faced Man, but more sophisticated. It disguised itself as a twelfth century castle" the Doctor realised, bringing up a graphic of the spaceship landing and camouflaging itself as the central keep of the castle.

"It merges into the culture, tries to keep a low profile, so no one notices. That explains the robot knights. But the engines, the engines are damaged. They're leaking radiation into the local atmosphere, creating a temporary climate of staggering benevolence" he thought out loud. Robin blinked in confusion at the strange speech. "Beg pardon?"

"I told you. It's too sunny. It's too green. And there is even an evil sheriff to oppress the locals. This explains everything, even you" the Doctor pointed at Robin, who stared at him in genuine bewilderment. "It does?"

"Well, what does every oppressed peasant workforce need? The illusion of hope" the Doctor rationalised, "Some silly story to get them through the day, lull them into docility, and keep them working". He turned to the controls and searched the data banks again. "Ship's data banks. Full of every myth and legend you could hope for, including Robin Hood".

Pieces of text, story book illustrations and stills from films were displayed on the screen before Robin's disbelieving eyes. "Doctor, I don't think"- Flavia began, but he cut her off, which was rude of him. "Isn't it time you came clean with me?" he demanded of Robin, "You're not real and you know it. Look at you. Perfect eyes, perfect teeth -nobody has a jawline like that. You're as much a part of what is happening here as the Sheriff and his metal knights. You're a robot" he insisted.

Flavia considered trying to convince him he was mistaken, and decided against it. She just hoped she would see the expression on his face when it finally occurred to him how flawed his theory was. Robin glared angrily at the Time Lord, insulted at the notion that he was not real and that he was in league with these mechanical villains and their foul leader. "You dare to accuse me of collusion with that villain, the Sheriff?"

"I dare".

"You false-tongued knave; I should have skewered you when I had the chance".

"I would like to see you try" the Doctor challenged. Flavia rolled her eyes – why did men always resort to fighting? – And stepped in between them. "For Omega's sake, Doctor; for once, just this once, could you please try to act your age?" she inquired exasperatedly. The Doctor actually seemed to listen to her, reluctantly stepping back. At that moment, the Corsair and Clara hurried in through the door. "Here, catch" the other Time Lord said, tossing the Doctor his sonic.

"Are you alright, my Lady?" Robin asked gallantly; Clara resisted the urge to giggle like a schoolgirl and quickly explained, "Robin, you have to flee. The knights are coming, they were chasing us". She looked back to the doorway where the Sheriff and several robot knights had entered. "Leave the girl, kill the rest" he ordered, glaring at the Corsair in particular. "I thought I knocked you out?" the Corsair protested with a frown, raising his blaster.

"He's not who he says he is, Corsair. This is all play-acting" the Doctor revealed. The Doctor's convinced himself that Robin is a robot in league with the Sheriff Flavia informed the Corsair, who repressed a snort of disbelief. "We can't just let them kill us!" Clara protested; she didn't want Robin or her friends to die, and she certainly didn't want to become the Sheriff's 'consort', that was just…eww. "You're not fooling anyone, Sheriff" the Doctor insisted.

The Sheriff merely signalled for the knights to fire at Robin, but the Corsair fired a shot at them first. Robin jumped back to avoid the blast, pulling Clara to him like a shield. "What the hell are you doing?" she demanded in alarm as he backed her up to a window. "Surviving" he replied, leaning backwards. Clara's eyes widened. "No!" she cried out as they both fell over the sill into the moat below. "Clara!" Flavia cried, lunging forwards to try and grab the girl's hand, but it was too late.

The Doctor, Flavia and the Sheriff looked down at the rippling water, seeing no sign of either Robin or Clara. "Yeah, sorry about the girl" the Sheriff remarked, not sounding very sorry at all, "Such a pretty thing. What a queen she would have made". He turned away, watched warily by the Corsair; Flavia touched the Doctor's arm and he looked back to see Robin climb out of the moat, an unconscious Clara lying in his arms.

"Stop pretending" he told the Sheriff, not letting on that Robin and Clara had survived. "You and your fancy robots. I get it. I understand" he insisted; Flavia and the Corsair refrained from commenting that he probably didn't understand as much as he thought. "Oh, so you too know my plans?" the Sheriff surmised. "You and your robots plundering the surrounding countryside for all it's worth" the Doctor began, and then he remembered what Emily had discovered, "Gold. Gold. Of course. Gold. You are creating a matrix of gold to repair the engine circuitry".

"This is the scheme the Mechanicals have devised" the Sheriff nodded, not paying attention to the Corsair, who walked over to the window. "Soon this sky-ship will depart. Destination, London. There I will obliterate the King and take my rightful place as ruler of this sceptred isle" he continued grandly. I'm not getting captured again was all the Corsair said in answer to Flavia's questioning frown, setting a foot on the windowsill.

"It won't work. There's not a chance. I've seen the instruments. There's been too much damage. You are stoking up a gigantic bomb!" the Doctor protested. "Look out!" cried Flavia, trying to warn him about the knight sneaking him up on him. It came too little too late; the knight hit the Doctor on the head, knocking him out, and then turned towards Flavia. There was a splash and she spun round to see the Corsair had already jumped out the window. She hesitated, torn between following him and staying with the Doctor.

The Sheriff leered at her. "I lost Clara, but perhaps you could be my queen instead" he suggested. Well, that settled that. "I'm too old for you" she informed him shortly, climbing up onto the sill before she lost her nerve. "Stop her!" the Sheriff ordered, and the knights powered up their beams. "Good luck Doctor" Flavia called hurriedly, even though he couldn't hear her, before taking a deep breath and jumping.

She hit the water and gasped at how cold it was, inadvertently filling her mouth. For moments she panicked, disoriented by the pitch dark water and thrashed about, only for a strong pair of hands to grab her under the arms and heave her up out of the water. She spat out water as her rescuer began pulling her towards the far bank. "Thank you, Corsair – I can't believe I did that"she panted.

"I thought it was pretty impressive" he replied as they climbed out of the moat. The Sheriff watched them escape from the window. "They'll come back" he nodded to himself, "and then they will watch as my new kingdom rises. Take him to the main dungeon" he ordered the knights, who heaved the Doctor's unconscious body out of the room.