Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of its wonderful characters, they all belong to J.K. Rowling.


Act IV: Scene II

While many of the students were going into Hogsmeade, Headmistress McGonagall was in her office, accompanied by the Head Boy, several Prefects, Conrad Crabbe, and Boris Goyle.

"Is our whole dissembly here?" asked Douglas looking around. McGonagall looked at him oddly for a moment, but then just shook her head.

"Who are the rule breakers?" she asked.

"That would be me and my partner here," said Douglas, pulling his short little friend to his side.

"Right!" said Verges, "We have the exhibition to examine."

McGonagall sighed; they must not have understood her. "Who are the offenders that you want examined? You may do so Head Boy."

"Oh, yes!" said Douglas. He scampered over to Boris first. "What is your name, friend?"

"Boris," Boris said gruffly. Douglas nodded and scurried back to the Headmistress.

"Write down Boris," Douglas said, imitating Boris' gruff voice. He dashed back over to Conrad. "Yours, mister?"

Conrad glared at Douglas. "I'm just Conrad."

Douglas nodded again and returned to the Headmistress. "Write down 'Just Conrad'."

McGonagall looked at Douglas, and wrote down: Conrad.

"Now," Douglas said, "Boys, do you attend Hogwarts?"

"Er, duh," Conrad and Boris said.

"Write down that they think it is 'duh' that they attend Hogwarts," Douglas said to McGonagall before stopping her hand. She gave him an annoyed look.

"But," he said, "Write Hogwarts first, because such a grand school should come before such villains."

McGonagall just shook her head as Douglas went on. "Boys, it is already proved that you are little better than false knaves. How do you answer for yourself?"

"Er, we're not?" said Conrad, looking at Douglas strangely. He then turned to Boris and whispered, "What's a knave?"

Boris shrugged, but they were interrupted by Douglas.

"Ha! You are a very witty boy, but I will prove you yet. Come closer," he pulled Conrad's ear, whispering into it. "I tell you, you are thought to be false knaves."

Conrad pulled away, disgusted, and Boris said, "Whatever that is, we're not!"

"Ha!" said Douglas, "A funny tale, but they are both telling it. Headmistress, have you written that they are not?"

When Douglas got in her face again, McGonagall had had it.

"Douglas," she said slowly, "You are not doing this the right way. You must call up the Prefects who are accusing them."

"Oh, yes!" said Douglas, standing up strait. "That's the eftest way! Come forward Prefects, I charge you, accuse these boys!"

One Prefect stepped forward. "This boy," he said, grabbing Boris' shirt, "Said that he had been told by John to accuse Lily wrongfully."

McGonagall nodded and wrote this down. "What else?"

"And," said another, "That Claudius was going to disgrace Lily before everyone and not go out with her."

"Oh villain!" said Douglas, "You will go into everlasting redemption for this!"

McGonagall raised her eyebrows. "What else?"

"That's it," said George Seacole.

McGonagall nodded, fingering the paper she had received just moments before Douglas and crew came in. "Well, this is what happened: John has disappeared in Hogsmeade, and, Lily was in this manner accused, refused, and because of the shock of this, as Madame Pomfrey has told me… been seriously injured."

Everyone in the room gasped, and little Verges actually teared up.

"Douglas," McGonagall continued, "Bring Boris and Conrad to talk to Lily's brother. They can be the ones to explain to him why she was hurt. I will go now to explain to him beforehand."

She gathered up her things and then left, leaving the others alone in her office.

"Come," said Douglas, smiling proudly and grabbing Conrad by the collar of his shirt.

"Get off of me freak!" Conrad shouted at him.

"Where's the Headmistress?" Douglas cried. "Let her write down the Head Boy, freak! Come you naughty varlet!"

"Get away from me!" Conrad yelled as he tried to grab his shirt again. "You are an ass, you are an ASS!"

Douglas straightened up and glared at Conrad. "Do you not know my place? Do you not know my years? Oh if someone was here to write me down an ass. But, boys, though it is not written down, do not forget that I am an ass. I am a wise boy, and which is more, the Head Boy, and which is more, a student here, and which is more as pretty a piece of flesh as any at Hogwarts! And one that knows the rules too, and a rich fellow enough too, and one that has had losses, and a good uniform and has everything handsome about him! Come on; oh that I had been written down an ass!"


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