SIRIUS

The rest of the week was focused on me reminding Remus and James that I was a grown adult, and therefore did not need their pity. I still recieved it in their stares when they would find me grimacing up the stairs or cautiously sitting down. It was the same with Mom and Dad, or Euphemia and Fleamont respectively. Except they didn't know that I was a grown man, so I assume they were just doing the correct thing. On the final day of the week Dumbledore stopped by to see me, he too had a pitying face on when we talked privately.

"Not you too!" I exclaimed.

"Mr. Black I'm not quite sure what you mean." Dumbledore said, with a twinkle to his eye.

"The pity face! I'm a grown man, I'll have you know that I could've had children! Hell, I probably have some I don't know about!" I yelled.

"Mr. Black, as long as you look like a child, you will be treated as such." The older wizard said.

"Fine, as long as I'm treated like a child, I'll act like one." I said indignantly.

"I don't expect anything else. Now, I assume I'm correct in saying Miss Evans will be the third animagus? And that you are planning to become one before the same age as originally?" Dumbledore said.

"Yes, that is correct. Is there an issue?" I asked cautiously.

"No... well perhaps. Are we sure Miss Evans has the... the capacity to achieve this at such a young age?" He questioned, the twinkle in his eye disappearing.

"Yes I am quite sure. If the rat could do it, Evans can probably do it ten times faster. Why do you think she wouldn't be capable?" I asked, fuming. If anything Evans was the most capable out of her and James.

"No reason Sirius. I didn't mean to upset you. I'll be off to my office now. Goodbye son." Dumbledore said standing up and flooding away.

Son... who was he calling son. He had no right. Stupid Dumbledore thinking Evans is stupid. Does he think muggleborns don't have the capabilities? Or is it only the factor of age that threw him off? I had no clue.

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That conversation left me fuming the rest of the day. I was a moody, irritable git according to James. It was obvious he was quickly losing his patience with me. Remus had to keep reminding him that one day without me wouldn't kill him. They went off to play quidditch after I exchanged a glance with Remus warning him to get out. I felt vaguely guilty after but I just couldn't take it. That's when I started thinking.

I didn't know what to do about Regulus. Should I befriend him and make him come towards the light? Or wait until he became evil and knew Voldemort's secret? It was so unfair. All of it. I was so close to death. Death, the very thing that I screamed for in Azkaban. And I finally had the chance. Without feeling completely guilty for leaving Remus and Harry. And it failed. Death failed me. I was brought back to one of the best and worst times in my life. But how could it be the best time if I knew how horrible the future was?

Self-pity was not a good look for me. I decided to try to think of solutions. How to help. I guess my earlier resolution to not deal with the future until it slapped me in the face was no longer valid.

How could I have just given up on Peter? I can't. He used to be a good person. I don't have to be his friend, I tried to reason. I could give him an ultimatum, or maybe just an offer to join the light. He wouldn't have to fight as long as he didn't join the Deatheaters. Same with Reg. He's definitely a slytherin, but he doesn't have to be evil. He can do the same as Peter. Join the light, or just promise to not help the Deatheaters.

My thoughts were interrupted by my door opening. Remus' amber eyes were peeking into the slight crack in the door. I could see James' messy black hair sticking up behind Remus. They just stood there. I could tell they were looking at the sorry sight I was. I was curled up on top of the covers of my bed, and my hair was a wreck around my shoulders. I sat up, trying not to grimace and motioned for them to enter.

"You don't have to do that Sirius." Moony said.

"Don't have to do what?" I asked.

"Cover up the pain. I know that's what your doing. You tell me to stop doing it all the time after the moon." Remus said with a shrug.

"Yeah mate. You don't have to cover it up. And you should come to the both of us," James gestured at himself and Remus, "to talk instead of doing whatever you did in here for four hours."

"Blimey! It's been four hours?" I asked shocked, it didn't seem nearly that long.

"Yes you were. Now want to go eat? Because I'm assuming you haven't eaten since breakfast and my mom just finished cooking dinner." James said with a smile.

"Sure." I replied. Remus helped me stand to my feet and guided me out of the room.

I ate dinner under the watchful eye of Mom and Dad. I'm sure they were worried, I was skipping meals, accidentally of course, and probably looked like shite. But I didn't care I was so hungry. I kept shoveling food in my mouth and went back for heaping piles of seconds. Towards the end of the meal, the watchful eyes of everyone at the table began to relax seeing me eat.

I must've worried them. I vowed to not make them worry that much about me again. If anything they should be worried about their futures. James saw his own dead corpse in those memories and it barely fazed him. Remus saw his prematurely aged body, scarred face, and he barely batted an eye. Their resilience at such a young age astounded me. No wonder they were called hero's in the future. Even Remus, the most unsung hero of the pair, often overlooked because of his lycanthropy, was acknowledged.

Xx Thanks for reading!! I still appreciate criticism. Although I try my hardest to plan out the story, I would enjoy if you noticed any plot holes to point them out. Sometimes I might be able to explain something that I assumed (within the story).xX