Pokes head out Remember me?
I apologize for the long delay in updating this story. If only I could get paid to write fanfic, I wouldn't have to devote so much time to the job that actually pays me! The good news is that, as J.D. Salinger once said, "Novels grow in the dark." The break has given me a TON of time to plot out the story more, and I've had a chance to really flesh some things out. I'm really excited about where this story is going now. I hope it's been worth the wait.
Severus was still smirking to himself as he made his way up the stairs to the first floor of Grimmauld Place with a slight spring in his step.
"Severus."
He stopped as he heard his name being called from the library. He wiped the smirk from his face, clasped his hands behind his back, and adopted a far more businesslike stance as he saw Albus sitting near the fire, apparently deeply engrossed in a heavy tome.
"Albus," he said.
Albus gave him a quick look before adopting a slight smirk. "I see at least some of us have been merrymaking this Christmas," he said. "A productive evening, I take it?"
Severus scowled and tried not to let his discomfort at Albus's seeming omnipotence show. "I hope you called me in here for more than that."
Albus snapped the book shut, causing it to kick up a cloud of dust. "Indeed I have," he said, getting to his feet. "I gather, Severus, that you have had neither the interest nor the opportunity to explore all of this house?"
Severus shook his head.
"I thought not. You are aware, I am sure, that during the year Sirius lived in this house, he was haunted by memories of his family and so, as often as possible, attempted to rid the house of items he believed to be tainted, or dark. He would cast them aside and compel Kreacher the house elf to dispose of them. Molly, as I'm sure you know, was more than happy to assist in the matter."
Severus had heard about Molly's manic cleaning frenzy during that summer, and remembered smirking at the idea of his least-favorite students being made to suffer a cleaning far worse than any detention he had ever devised.
"I may not be wise, Severus, but I try not to be a fool. A former Death Eater, Regulus Black, grew up here and, by all accounts, lived here until his death. It was possible or even likely that he would have kept some dark items in this house on behalf of the Dark Lord. I had long suspected this, but my suspicions became even further aroused after learning that the Dark Lord had given Lucius Malfoy custody of his diary. A horcrux."
Severus had been only half-listening but caught Albus's meaning and immediately gave him his full attention. "So you think…"
"That a horcrux may be hidden in this house? Yes, Severus, I do. I thought on it far more after our discussion with Bill and Remus last night. If the Dark Lord gave objects to his other followers, it is entirely possible he would have given one to Regulus."
"Regulus defected and the Dark Lord found out about it. If the Dark Lord had given him anything – and I would be surprised if he did, Regulus was so far down the hierarchy – he would have been certain to retrieve it from him after killing him."
"My thoughts as well, Severus. However, do you not agree that it is equally possible that Regulus may have obtained it via other means?"
Severus considered. "It is certainly not impossible."
"Precisely. Therefore, I spent all evening thinking on it and allowed you all to enjoy more… decadent pursuits."
Severus scowled again.
"Stop that, Severus, you clearly needed it. Anyway, as I said, I have given it much thought and took the liberty of wandering about the unoccupied areas of the house. When I became Secret Keeper, I was given certain privileges regarding its security that not even the owner, Sirius and now Harry, have over the house."
"Potter owns this house?!"
"One such security feature," Albus continued, ignoring Severus's outburst, "was that I could prevent objects from leaving the house that might risk exposing our presence here. A large quantity of Dark objects leaving the house all at once would certainly attract the attention of the Ministry and the Death Eaters. You know as well as I do, Severus, that Dark magic leaves traces too subtle for most wizards to detect, but for those of us who have studied the Dark extensively, it is immediately obvious."
"What have you found?"
"More Dark objects than I would care to admit," Albus said. "I had no idea the Blacks had harbored such objects. I would have kept a far closer eye on Regulus had I known how grave a risk he was to fall. However, I one object in particular has attracted my attention. Recent experience with a horcrux has taught me that it is unwise to pursue such objects alone. Therefore, I must ask for your assistance, Severus."
"Of course. Shall I retrieve Bill Weasley?"
Albus shook his head. "I would prefer to play this one a bit close to the chest. I believe this object was of particular significance. Should the Dark Lord become aware of the absence of this object, I would not want to risk the discovery of the object or this house."
Severus nodded. "You want the Order member who will not crack under torture and reveal the location of the object, despite the fact that it is Secret-Kept."
Albus nodded. "I have left the Fidelius charm to chance once, Severus, I will not do so again. I know that you, of all people, can appreciate that."
Severus did. There was no need to elaborate. Simply push through and get it done. "Should we evacuate the house?"
Albus shook his head. "No, no. No need for that. The risk of taking it outside the house is great; I do not know how unstable it is. The last one was… well, suffice it to say, I would feel safer not attempting to move it. We shall find it in the cellar, Severus. We shall seal it off. And then, together, you and I shall destroy it."
"I have no doubt that you have the skill to do so, Ms. Granger," Minerva said as she sipper her tea in the library. "I merely question the usefulness of devoting your energies to it at this particular time."
"Professor, I am well aware that I may be forced to leave Hogwarts in the near future on account of my blood status. I am also aware that my life may be in danger even more than it is now. I can brew Polyjuice and transfigure my features, but I don't think another form of disguise would be remiss."
"This is considerably more complex than potions or other forms of transfiguration," Minerva cautioned.
"I understand," Hermione said. She worked up her courage to openly debate with a teacher she admired. "But, Professor, I want to be clear: I am going to do this. I would prefer to do so under your guidance, both as my professor and as a fellow Order member. But if I have to go it alone, I will."
Minerva smiled. "Start now, then, shall we?"
When Severus stepped into the cellar, he felt the force of the Dark magic rush through him and nearly knocked him off his feet. "Oh my god," he murmured, gripping the wall next to him on the stairwell. The feeling was overwhelming."
"I know," Albus said behind him, shutting and warding the door. "It's unmistakable."
Severus licked his lips; the inside of his mouth had gone completely dry. "I had no idea…" he murmured.
"The first one is always difficult," Albus said kindly. "It takes a strong wizard to confront objects of this potency, Severus." He gave his patented smile with a twinkle in his eye. "But you are made of the strongest stuff I know."
Severus rolled his eyes. "Just tell me what you want me to do," he spat.
"These objects, they make you… they have made me forget myself," Albus confessed. "I do not dare to try to destroy it myself. I must ask you to do the honors once I have opened it."
"Fiendfyre?"
Albus shook his head and reached into his robes. "With my apologies," he said. "I know the symbolism will not be lost on you."
Severus took the sword and held it in his hand, weighing it a little bit. What little boy hadn't dreamed of wielding a sword one day? "I expected it to be more substantial," he said eventually.
"Indeed," Albus said. He led Severus to the center of the room where the innocuous-looking locket lay on the ground, radiating Dark Magic.
Severus approached it hesitantly, wand out, sword in his other hand. He crouched down and studied the locket intensely. "It's safe to the touch," he said eventually. "Though I'm sure you already knew that. We could even wear it if we needed to, though I shudder to think at what that experience would be like."
"As do I," said Albus. "When you are ready, Severus, say the word."
Severus knelt down next to the locket and considered his move. He knew better than most how twisted the Dark Lord's mind could be. Even though it had no curse on it to affect the body, this piece of ancient jewelry housed a piece of the Dark Lord's soul. Whatever was in there, it would not be benign.
Breathing deeply, he raised the sword over his head, mentally counted to three, and nodded.
"Can you choose your form?"
Minerva looked up from her book. "Your Animagus form?" She shook her head. "It rises out from inside you, like your Patronus form."
"But one single animal can't possibly define all that a person is about. It's too one-dimensional. And what if you don't like your form? Does that mean you don't like yourself?" Hermione knew she was rambling, but her brain was firing on all cylinders and she couldn't stop herself. "Plus people change, don't they? So what might be representative of you at one stage of your life might be a terrible fit later on, and then what happens – you're stuck in a form that no longer suits you? "And – "
Minerva put up her hands. "Your curiosity is admirable, Ms. Granger, but please, it is all a bit much for a first lesson."
Hermione grinned sheepishly.
Severus had kept his eyes open just long enough to see Lily's face in the locket. He tried to bring the sword down swiftly, to stop whatever horrible thing was about to happen before it could begin.
"Don't kill me again, Severus!"
He flinched and hesitated, but willed himself to continue.
"Wasn't it enough to kill me once after making me watch my husband die?"
"Severus!" He heard Albus's voice. It sounded so very far away.
He closed his eyes and shook his head. At Albus, at Lily, at the Dark Lord, at all of it.
"Severus, why?"
God, her voice sounded the same as it always had. He slowly rose to his feet and stared at Lily's eyes for the first time in over a decade.
"Severus, now!"
"Is it because I never loved you like you loved me?"
Severus's eyes flew open, his face twisted in rage and his heart rate sped up. He panted. Lily's face had disappeared, and instead his mother stared down at him, her face angrier than it ever had been in life.
"Do it, Severus!"
"You've destroyed everything you've ever loved."
He stood there dumbly, watching his mother tell him everything he'd always known was true.
"Severus!"
"And you are incapable of being loved by anyone else."
"Severus!"
"No one has ever loved you, and nobody ever will. Especially him."
"Don't listen to it, Severus!"
Lily joined Eileen. Both stared at him with stern disapproval.
"He will destroy you as surely as you destroyed us."
"Destroy him first."
"Severus!"
Severus chanced a look at Albus. He had a pleading look on his face.
"Severus, please!"
With a roar of rage, Severus raised the sword over his head, and smashed the locket in half. With a dying scream, it crumpled into a pile of twisted metal. He fell to his knees, and dropped his head to his hands, shaking.
He heard Albus's soft footsteps approach and then pass him to where the locket was. He heard Albus inspect the horcrux, ensuring the soul within had indeed been destroyed. Once satisfied that the task had been completed, he approached Severus. "Well done, my boy," he said, patting Severus on the shoulder in a fatherly manner.
With speed that surprised even him, Severus whirled around and punched Albus Dumbledore in the face.
"Do not," he seethed, "EVER use me as a shield against your own cowardice again." He got to his face and stared down at the old man, who was holding his hand over his bleeding and broken nose. "Even I have my limits."
Without another word, Severus stormed up the stairs and slammed the door.
You deserve it, Dumbledore.
I hope that I'll be able to update the next chapter sooner rather than later. Have faith that I will always be back :)
