I don't own Resident Evil either, guys.
Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode XII
Back at the Lord's mysterious hideout…
'Damn! I can't get a hit in!' thought Heather as she blocked a relentless barrage of slashes from Claudia with her katana. Her adversary shook her head disappointedly.
"Alessa, please… Don't resist," she said while swiping at the teenager, who ducked and rolled away before standing and attacking from behind.
"Why don't you tell me what the hell's going on instead!" exclaimed Heather as Claudia deflected the blow and attempted a stab, to which Heather moved to the side to avoid. The priestess then lunged forward once more, aiming directly at the blonde's throat.
Heather crouched down into the snow and knocked the sword away. She ground her teeth and made a stab of her own. Claudia predicted this and twirled around to Heather's back. She wasted no time in raising her weapon…
"Now, what have we here?"
Claudia immediately stopped at the sound of the voice, and quickly bowed as Valtiel walked up to them. His boyish appearance would've caused anyone to mistake him for a regular human. It was the perfect disguise, but those ruby pupils showed the truth behind the façade. If one saw his true form they'd be pushed to the edge of their sanity.
"Unless I'm mistaken, Claudia," he said coolly, "you were about to end the Holy Mother."
"She and the detective escaped; I was only trying to halt their-,"
"Maybe so, but keep in mind that she is necessary for the Final Judgment."
"Yes…"
"There is no need to be so critical, Valtiel."
"Sire…!"
The Lord stepped out from the shadows, his cloak and hood still donned. Valtiel's aura of superiority vanished instantly. "But sire, it is at this time that we must be critical! You have been extremely lenient with them for the past few days, much unlike your usual self, and I do not approve!"
The demon bowed upon realizing what he said. "Ah, excuse me, sire. I do not mean to question your judgment."
The Lord shook his head. "There is no need for that, Valtiel. I understand your position; in any case, did you gather her?"
"Yes, I did; I have them both."
"Summon them."
"As you wish…"
A sphere of light formed in the air, and then exploded, leaving Maria and Pyramid Head in its wake. Her hair was a bit frayed, and she seemed rather furious… Pyramid Head, however, was quiet, his head lowered. And, surprisingly enough, Mary Sunderland was behind them, looking shocked.
"Hmm… Mary Sunderland, what a pleasant surprise…" said the Lord. He turned to Claudia. "Have your subordinate come and escort both her and Alessa to their resting places, please."
She gave a silent bow and quickly motioned her hand through the air, and Don suddenly appeared in the room, drool slipping out of his mouth. "Wha…?"
"Don, could you take those two away?" asked Claudia, but he shot a nasty look at Heather. "I'm not dealing with her! She sexually harassed me!"
"Now, now, don't be foolish, Don," spoke the Lord, placing an assuring hand on his shoulder. I shall make sure she harms you no more."
He snorted, but shrugged. "Fine, fine… come on, we have to pick up Doug on the way," he said and took them by the arms and towards the door, even though Mary still couldn't find the right words to say.
When they were gone, the Lord sighed and approached Maria and Pyramid Head. "Oh, what now?" demanded Maria as he folded his arms.
"I have allowed you… Maria… quite a few liberties in your, shall I say, short existence. Despite this, you have not seemed very grateful; I have granted you life, again, and yet you still insist to disobey me…" He caressed her cheek with the back of his gloved hand, and he leaned closer, the pink fur somewhat visible under his hood. "I can easily alter you into something… much less comfortable… quite possibly a block of tofu, maybe an arm… A cardboard box… anything…"
Her expression became disgusted, and she let out a deep breath. "Uh, okay… I won't, mess around anymore."
"Good… you may go now, all of you," he said, but turned to Pyramid Head. "…but not you. I have something I still need to discuss with you."
The others all left, their footsteps apparent in the snow. Pyramid Head didn't speak as the Lord neared him. "You have served me well in the past, second only to Valtiel… yet I am afraid your loyalty is wavering as of late."
"…Why would you think this, sire?" the other inquired innocently.
"Don't play stupid," warned the Lord in all serious now. "You have shown me small tidbits of disloyalty, things of betrayal… However, I will not punish you on only assumptions. Listen, my friend, your comrade was slain by Walter Sullivan, and I know about your connection to James Sunderland. I was aware of this before, when I sent you to face James three years ago."
The demon backed away, surprised. "You… knew?"
"Oh yes, but I feared that, if you knew, you would be hesitant in encountering him. However, my fears were quelled with the events that occurred at Dunky-Dunks."
Pyramid Head shook his head. "Let me assure you, sire, that you have no need to worry. If I ever face James again, I will not hesitate to eliminate him."
The Lord nodded. "I sincerely hope you are right, for your sake. You are dismissed." Pyramid Head wasted no time in exiting the chamber, but another entity entered from the shadows.
"So then… what is to happen now? With Lisa Garland's actions at present one cannot be too careful," Dog said.
The Lord chuckled. "I have everything under control. I resurrected Lisa for a reason, and she is fulfilling her purpose… I intend to meet with them quite soon, actually."
"Really?" He sounded intrigued. "I myself would like to see the extent of their abilities…"
---
Harry, Walter, Vincent, and Fabio stared up into the night sky as Metal Gear flew off. Most of the guards and scientists were in disbelief, but a shout brought them all out of their daze.
"What is going on here? I do not like being disturbed when 'Rainbow Monkey Rangers' are on!" yelled Miss Maxwell as she walked into the room. Her two bodyguards were beside her, dressed in weird little, purple spandexes.
Harry started towards her, but in a flash all the guards had their guns aimed straight at the small group. "This is certainly not good…" muttered Vincent as she stopped before them.
"Well, well, well, so the little hamsters have escaped their cages… interesting…" She squeezed Harry's cheek. "But I was sure there was another lass among you… Where is she now?"
"If you're referring to Lisa, she made off with that machine of yours… Metal-something, I think it was called."
Her face went to stone. "Metal… Metal Gear is gone!" she said while spinning around to see the humongous hole in the roof and the absence of the great machine. "No… No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" She shook her head frantically. "Oh man... Smankhee's going to kill me once he finds out Metal Gear's been stolen! It was his pride and joy!"
"Smankhee...?" said Vincent in disbelief. "You can't mean..."
"Yes!" Miss Maxwell shouted. "One of the wealthiest and most powerful kingpins in our society! He helped fund the construction of this place, I owe him my life! And this is how I repay him!" she shrieked while hyperventilating.
"...Why did he have you... keep it?" Harry asked cooly.
"Oh, well, you see, I'm, err, his cousin..." she whispered. She quickly stopped her quirky dance and glared at Harry and company. "Wait a minute now... This isn't my fault, it's your fault! You're responsible for this mess!"
"But we had no idea of Lisa's intentions," Harry retorted. "You can't just blame this on us."
"Oh, but I can! And, as you are the ones who are responsible, you're the ones who will clean this mess up!" She spun around to face her servants. "Everyone, it is crunch time! Prepare the Stonger McGonger! It's time to get Metal Gear back!"
"Stonger McGonger?" blurted Fabio. "What's that?"
"Just wait and see..." replied Miss Maxwell as everyone began scurrying around. Some controls were activated, blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. Suddenly, something that had been underneath Metal Gear began to rise. The fortress shook more than ever before as an enormous, robotic, humanoid cyborg thing rose up.
"Hey, it's Ultraman!" Walter squealed with delight before he ran up the machine. "They let us see it at Wish House when we behaved!"
"Hey... you're right," said Vincent, "but wasn't it that one thing from 'Godzilla Versus Gigan'?"
"No, it was Ultraman."
"No, Ultraman was a few years later."
"No, it-,"
"Okay, okay, enough!" screamed Miss Maxwell. "Look, you four have to pilot that and stop Metal Gear! It's my only hope!"
Fabio hopped up. "Like in the old Godzilla movies?"
"Yes, but without the Japanese people," stated Harry as he approached the robot. He looked up at it curiously. "How do you expect us to know how to use it?"
"It's like making a sandwich... now go!"
The cockpit, which was located appropriately on the robot's groin, opened up. A rising staircase appeared, and several guards forced Harry and the others up into it. Miss Maxwell waved at them enthusiastically. "Don't worry! I'm gonna tell Smankhee, so don't destroy Metal Gear completely!"
Ignoring that and going to a random place over the ocean, we see a jet, heading for Silent Hill...
"...stuck checking out some stupid, abandoned tourist town!" exclaimed Leon S. Kennedy into his cellphone. He took a small sip of his tea and looked out of the window and over the ocean. "No..." he replied into the phone. "But I think I deserve a break... or, if I'm going to be assigned a mission, maybe a mission with some more significance, you know?"
He didn't get a response, as his phone was suddenly shot out of his hand. "What?" Next was his teacup, and it splashed all over his jacket.
"Ah, slut! My jacket!" He spun around to try and find his attacker, only to see the pilot of the helicopter, holding out his rifle with only about a foot separating them.
"I can't let you get to that town, Mr. Kennedy. You'll disrupt our plans."
"What are you talking about? Put the gun down."
The pilot swung his right arm in the air, moving back the sleeve to reveal the 'Halo of the Sun' on his forearm. "You won't get in our Lord's way! I've heard of your reputation, and, as such, I consider you a threat."
Leon backed away, a small smirk on his face. "So this was a trap all along. What happened to the real pilot?"
"Overdosed on chocolate muffins in a bathroom stall somewhere," answered the pilot emotionlessly. He readied the firearm. "Now, time-,"
"So what's your name?"
"What?"
"Your name."
"Oh, well, it's Sam."
"Well, Sam, who's piloting the jet?"
"Nobody." They just stared at each other for a moment. "Crap!" Sam muttered as Leon rolled under the gun, stole it away, and bashed his attacker in the head with it. He then threw it to the side and ran to the cockpit. He cursed while taking a seat, looking over all the controls.
'Damn, damn, damn, damn! We never went over how to pilot a jet in training! Why didn't we go over how to pilot a jet? Why?' he rambled on his head, while Sam was busy crawling over to him. The assailant pulled Leon from the chair and to the floor, before trying to attack him with the rifle. Leon rolled to the side and punched Sam right on the noise. There was a sick, cracking noise as blood splaterred all over Sam's face.
"That hurt!" screamed the cultist. Leon grasped the collar of his jacket and brought him over to the door of the jet, which he opened up. Holding on to the side of the doorway, he held Sam in the air.
"Any last words before you, you know, go bye-bye?"
"...Yeah... Vote for... Pedro..."
The government agent growled and flung Sam into the air. "I hated that movie!" he shouted, pulling back and closing the sliding door. With a relieved sigh, Leon placed his hands on his hips. "Now that that's done and over with, time to get this plane back on track!" However, the whole thing suddenly shook with fury. He tumbled to the front, and looked up, to see the jet heading straight for some city, and, strangely, he saw two, humongous things fighting.
"Uh... this is going to hurt."
---
"So some spazzy chick stole Metal Gear!" Smankhee roared with anger within the ruined Dunky-Dunks. His minions were all distracted from the presence of Henry, James, and the others.
"Guys, come on!" said Henry quickly as he took Eileen and James by the arms and dashed out of there. Laura and Child Walter were straggling behind them. The rain was pouring down now, thunder booming and lightning striking. Henry sighed, glancing around. "Hey, wait a minute, where's Jo-... I mean Lower Neck?" thought Henry aloud as he looked at Eileen, who had a red Post-It note on her forehead.
"Eileen, you have another note on your head!"
"I do?" she asked stupidly, giggling as he ripped it off to read its contents.
Henry... the time of reckoning is soon to come... You must be ready... And don't try to find me... for I shall find you... Oh yes I will...
Lower Neck(JS)
'Creepy...'
"What's that?" questioned little Walter as he pointed at the note. Henry tucked it away in his pants.
"Nothing. And you can't get it now, anyway," responded the man with a sneer.
"...But I can..." came Eileen creepily with a maniacal laugh. Then she glomped Henry. James watched them with an odd expression that read, 'What teh heck?'. He then leaned against the side of the building kind of angsty-like.
'Dad... is it true...? I... God, I don't know...'
"Mary! Mary! Mary, where are you?" screamed Laura. The young girl was running all over the place, and James approached her cautiously. She could be rather dangerous when riled up.
"Laura, what are you talking about?" he inquired, unknowing of Mary's absence. The girl looked at him teary-eyed.
"You stupid-head! You were supposed to make sure she was okay! Now she's gone!" she hollered at him before running off, screaming Mary's name.
"Laura! Wait, Laura!" he cried, turning to the others. "Come on, stop what you're doing and help me find Laura!"
Eileen looked up at him and got off of Henry, who stood up and dusted himself off. "Gee, Eileen, what's up with you?... Although maybe you could do that again later..." She giggled dumbly once more while Henry scratched his head.
"What? You mean the little girl?"
"Yes! Come on! She might've found Mary too!"
So then all four of them ran after the child, following her screams until they suddenly stopped. The group was then left underneath a firescape for some building, with nothing more to lead them. "I think she went up here..."
"A little girl?"
"Just come on!"
And so they climbed...
"Robbie the Rabbit's stupid," said Laura as she dropped the fluffy doll, wet from the rain. The cloaked man kneeling down before her chuckled and held the doll up to examine it.
"...My daughter held the same contempt for the character as well. In fact, this is the same doll I had acquired on my first visit to town, all those years ago... I, however, see no problem with it."
"Laura!" exclaimed James, "Laura, get away from that man!" He stopped short in nearing them, though, upon seeing Laura glare at him.
"Shut up! You don't know anything!" she responded angrily. The man shook his head though.
"Now, now, that is no way to speak to your father."
"Father?" she spat. "I don't want him as my dad! He's a stupid-head! He... He let Mary get hurt!"
"Laura..." murmured James with a sudden pang of guilt in his chest. Henry patted him on the back.
"Hey, no worries, man. Cheer up, you're all tense." James just stared at him. "Okaaaaay... Fine, I'm not going to help you."
The cloaked person cleared his throat and folded his arms. "Ah, Henry Townsend. Perfect. Now that we're all here, I believe it is time that I introduce myself..." He held out his arms, the rain increasing in fury. "I am the Lord, creator of the second existence. I have been looking forward to our meeting."
"The Lord?" demanded Henry. "So you're the one responsible for all this mess! You're the one Lower Neck was talking about!" He fished around in his pocket and brought out his Steel Pipe. James did the same thing, if only by reflex.
"Ah, yes, 'Lower Neck'. I am indeed glad he still continues to relay information to you, but the '21 Sacraments' has failed. He is not necessary, but I prefer him to be here, nonetheless. Still, though, you, as well as James... you both are quite extraordinary. You both proved yourself very fitting for being the greatest hindrances in my plan. You, Henry, survived Walter Sullivan's attacks, and James defeated Silent Hill. Of course, I had meant for you two to have died, but, alas, not all can be as you wish."
"Just hold on a minute," said James. "What do you mean?"
"What do I mean?" The Lord laughed coldly. "You two were threats. I had intended, since your birth, for both of you to be eliminated. It is not simple orchestrating the events of decades just for the right fates of two people. Yet you evaded even my plots, so I presumed I had no choice but to take matters into my own hands. If Sullivan, Maria, and the two executioners could not fulfill their duties, then I would have to quicken the pace of my plans. Even Losbel Vith and Xuchilpaba told me of your abilities, so I have come to see just how talented you truly are."
James looked to Laura. "Wait... are you saying that you... created Maria? And what about the Pyramid Heads?"
"Correct. I created Maria in your wife's likeness. The other two, however, are slain followers who I altered."
"But what about Eddie, and Angela? Did you create them too?"
"No. I lured them to the town to help in my plot. However..." He nodded to Laura, who was strangely quiet. "...she was, perhaps, my most splendid creation."
Laura backed away from him then. "What are ya talking about?"
James ground his teeth. "Laura...? So... you knew all along what you were doing... behind-the-scenes... you toyed with my wife's feelings, just to be able to get to me..."
The Lord nodded. "Indeed. It was necessary. But aren't you grateful? Laura provided Mary with happiness. The happiness you were unable to give."
And that was all it took for James to explode. He rushed at the Lord, preparing to strike him down, only to be swatted away with a mere wave of the hand. He landed on his back a few yards away, writhing in pain. "Don't worry, James, I'm coming!" yelled the still-high-Henry... except he tripped.
The Lord approached them calmly, humming something. "I am unimpressed. It had to have taken more than this to have defeated my subordinates. And steel pipes..." He kicked the weapons away as James slowly stood up, taking out his pistol. He fired off several shots, but with another simple motion of the hand, the bullets fell from the air and to the rooftop.
"Just... what are you?" demanded James as he glared at his most recent oponent. Before the Lord could answer, though, something massive crashed into the city. The powerful entity chuckled. "Well, it seems Lisa has arrived to play her part in the story. Good."
Henry spat out some blood as he got to his feet. "Just wait one damn moment! This is isn't over!"
Everyone turned to see him remove three folded up DDR mats from his pocket. "Play time's over."
