Hello Everyone! We are back! Please take a second to read this: Our spring break is next week so we will be delayed on episode 13, but we will post something we came up with during the off season to hold you over. See you soon. Ava, Juliet, and Sabre


[Enchanted Forest]

Snow: We're back…

Sabre: It's about damn time.

Juliet: Where the hell did you come from?

Charming: Not this again…

Regina: Is there any way we can get rid of you?

Ava: With how many gaping plot holes this thing has? Not a chance in hell.

Juliet: Not to rain on anyone's parade, but I do believe that your kingdom was overrun by trolls. Any ideas on how you are going to fix that one?

Regina: Trolls?! Why wasn't I informed?

*Regina looks at Snow accusingly*

Aurora: They aren't around here don't worry we can make it the Queen's castle safe enough.

Ava: That's convenient.

*Ava starts stretching*

Regina: What are you doing?

Ava: My comebacks are pretty weak right now. I'm out of it and I need to loosen up a bit.

Sabre: You can say that again…Hufflepuff.

Ava: Watch your tongue…Slytherin.

Juliet: I need individuality…You guys aren't giving me enough love…

Neal: Pan couldn't even kill these women…We need a miracle.

Ava: This is what we get for attending a Harry Potter party before Once Upon a Time. Those personality tests were for fun don't take them so seriously.

Sabre: I can take it more seriously than you!

Juliet: Oh yeah…We're back.

[Food – That's it?]

Sabre: This place is very fancy…

Ava: I would imagine very expensive…

Juliet: And that's all you get for food?

Sabre: Look at the portions on that thing.

Ava: My dog would weep tears of how empty that plate looks.

Juliet: See! Her dog pities you! Eat some real food!

Emma: It's fine. I'm on a diet anyway.

Ava: Diet and nutrition are two very different things. What kind of example are you setting Henry by only eating that anyway?

Sabre: Henry is probably dying of hunger at home anyway. Do you even bring home leftovers? What kind of mother are you?

Emma: A good one!

*Emma stands up angrily*

Ava: Then prove it! Be a woman and eat some pizza!

…..

Sabre: That's not what I would call nutritious. Maybe a salad or something…

Walsh: Yeah! You hypocrite!

Ava: Emma is loved by two men from another dimension/world/universe/whatever. You are normal and therefore boring. Thus I have decided that all of your opinions and dialogue are rejected!

Sabre: When she was stretching did she wake the monster sleeping inside of her as well? We only just started.

Juliet: We will each have our episode…this one is hers.

Ava: I heard that!

Sabre: Something wicked is already here.

[The New Boyfriend – New York]

Ava: Awe. This is kind of nice. It's gonna be sad when the plot moves forward.

Juliet: Yeah this is kind of…WHAT IS THAT ON HIS NECK?!

Sabre: IT'S A SCAR!

Ava: So what?

Walsh: I received that in a car accident when I was trying to save my little sister-

Juliet: That is an obvious sign that he is a bad guy!

Sabre: That guy is up to something.

Ava: You two are overreacting…

Walsh: Of course. I would never do anything to hurt Emma.

*Ava stares intensely at his smile*

Ava: Alright you win; he's weird.

Sabre: Something wicked this way comes…

*5 minutes later*

Juliet: What is taking him so long? Do you think he's doing something evil in the bathroom?

Sabre: He could have just left her here…

Ava: I think that is the equivalent of something evil. Who just leaves their date at a restraint?

Sabre: Maybe he's cheating on her and making out with another woman?

Emma: Hey, still right here.

Ava: I still put that down as evil on my list. Would he really do that though?

Juliet: He would! Because he's evil…

Hook: Excuse me, ladies…

*We provide undivided attention*

Hook: Do you mind?

*We continue to stare at Hook and Emma intently*

Emma: Are they always like this?

Hook: Drink this and find out.

*She looks at us as we all grin creepily*

Emma: Um…no thanks…

*Another 5 minutes later*

Sabre: When is he…FINALLY?!

Walsh: Sorry I was gone for so long.

Juliet: No shit! Another man managed to come over here and make moves on your girl while trying to help her reclaim her past. You were taking far too long.

Walsh: Well I was getting us dessert.

*Table spins with a ring on it*

Juliet: Aw hell no.

Sabre: Come on.

Ava: You can't be serious. Oh! Chocolate strawberry!

*Ava reaches in and eats it*

Walsh: Too soon?

Juliet & Sabre: YES!

Walsh: We have known each other for eight months-

Juliet: That is not a very long time.

Sabre: All the more reason to believe that he is evil.

Ava: You two…maybe he's the scarecrow. Because of the "scar" on his neck.

*Camera Angle Changes*

Sabre: HE DISAPPEARED!

Juliet: WHER DID HE GO!?

Ava: I don't know.

Sabre: Did he leave again?

*Change Camera Angle *

Juliet: Oh. There he is.

Sabre: I seriously thought that he just left her there again.

Ava: That would be so rude.

[Home with Emma]

*Emma leans against the door*

Juliet & Sabre: Oh my god. Those shoes tho?!

Juliet: I would die if I wore those!

Ava: Are those what hooker heals look like?

Sabre: No, you sheltered child.

Ava: Okay…

Juliet: How do you manage to lean and remain standing in those monstrosities?

Emma: I have had a long day. The last thing I need is you three bugging me in my own home.

Sabre: It's going to happen anyway.

Ava: It sucks to be you.

*Emma continues in ignoring us and we see Henry*

Henry: Mom, are those friends of yours?

Juliet: Awe look at you. You are so grown up…and going through puberty.

Ava: Worst years of my life…

Juliet: Is that Diablo 3? Make room.

*Juliet jumps over and begins to play*

Ava: Where is his babysitter?

Emma: She just left.

Sabre: I didn't see anyone.

Ava: Me neither. Is she invisible or something?

Emma: No of course not. She-

Ava: You are a horrible mother.

Sabre: Yeah awesome parenting…

Juliet: I feel like I am participating in advertisement for this game which helps fund this show.

*Screen shot focuses on the Diablo menu screen*

Ava: Yep!

[Back to the Enchanted Forest]

Henry: When I became a Knight…

*Switch to Charming*

Sabre: Bullshit. Once a Charming always a Charming! There is no wisdom here or knighthood for that matter.

Ava: He was given Prince Status by an asshole of a king.

Charming: Didn't your mother ever tell you that if you don't have anything nice to say don't say at all.

Juliet: Not really…

Sabre: Maybe…

Ava: Yep!

….

Charming: And…

Ava: My dad said that, 'people don't give a fuck so why should I?'

Snow: Your father sounds…

Ava: Hardcore?

Snow: Disturbing.

Ava: That too.

Juliet: Have you guys ever noticed that Charming kind of looks like a wanna be Macklemore?

*We all begin to stare at Charming*

Charming: I look like a what?

Sabre: Kind of…

Ava: I could see it.

Hook: What is a Micklemaor?

Ava & Juliet & Sabre: HAHAHAHA

Sabre: So glad you asked.

Hook: I should have kept my mouth shut.

Sabre: Wait did you guys see that?

Juliet: See what?

Sabre: Ruby was here for a screenshot!

Ava: Really?

Sabre: Fan out and find her!

*Several minutes of looking*

Juliet: She's gone now…

Ava: Sad day…

Sabre: Yeah…but now that I think about where is everyone else?

Juliet: They are popping up around Enchanted Forest as we speak.

Ava: This is just the set of people who said goodbye to Emma and Henry.

Sabre: Then where are Tinkerbell and the Blue Fairy?

*Ava and Juliet shrug*

Ava: Actually since the curse hit them last shouldn't they be the last ones to return.

….

Sabre: Bet we're gonna run into some really well fed trolls….

Charming: No we aren't!

[Hook leaves]

Charming: You can't just leave.

Hook: I need to find my ship.

Sabre: Yeah. It's his ship you can't tell him what to do with his ship.

Charming: I wasn't talking about the ship.

Ava: You were still trying to tell him what to do!

Juliet:...Where did you get the change of clothes from?

…..

Sabre: What is going on ?

Ava: Did your wardrobe magically appear with you when you travelled back to the Enchanted Forest?

Juliet: Unless Regina changed everybody's clothes.

Regina: As if…

Sabre: Then where did it come from?

Ava: Hook is the only one who didn't change clothes.

Charming: Well he did need to.

Sabre: QUIT TELLING HIM WHAT TO DO!

[Wardrobe]

*Emma turns around to hand a paper to Henry*

Juliet: Oh my god. I'm blind.

Ava: Those pants tho?!

Sabre: Who went through and destroyed Emma's wardrobe. They have better fix this by next episode or we are going to have to fix this.

Emma: What is wrong with my pants?

Juliet: They aren't yours. What happened to the blue denim jean loving and tennis shoe saving savior we have come to know and love.

Emma: Savior?

Ava: Forget it. Where did you get these clothes?

Emma: Around…

Sabre: They look like something Ruby would wear.

…..

Ava: You stole her clothes?!

Emma: Who's Ruby?

Sabre: Once a fellow coworker leaves you don't just take their things.

Juliet: How could you….

Emma: I have no idea what you are talking about!

[So many feels]

Snow: It will help you find happiness.

Juliet: There are so many feels in this scene.

Ava: I have decided to be more understanding of Regina this portion of the season.

*Ava pats Regina on the shoulder for comfort*

Regina: What the hell was that?

Ava: Don't push it.

Snow: This wonderful. I'm so happy to see you two getting along.

Sabre: She had to, the emotional storyline and gripping character development were too much for her anger. That…and too many people were calling her mean for holding a grudge.

Juliet: She's not mean; just tough.

Regina: Whatever moment we were having just went out the door.

Ava: I am trying to be nice here! Don't make me do a 90 degree turn.

Juliet: I think you mean 180 degree turn.

Ava: I know what I said!

Sabre: She's a work in progress.

[The Bushes]

*See glowing eyes*

Ava: WHAT IS IN THE BUSHES?!

*Creature flies into the air*

Juliet: It's a money!

Sabre: It's a flying monkey!

Ava: WITH CLAWS!

*Everyone ducks and Regina tries to kill it*

Ava: WOAH! Watch the fireballs you could have set the forest on fire you know!

*It knocks Regina down*

Sabre: Clever girl.

*It comes in for another attack when an arrow hits the monkey*

Sabre: Robin Hood!

Ava: No, god, no. Please…

*Looks up to see Robin*

Ava: Damnit!

Juliet: Nice shot.

Sabre: Totally called it!

Robin: Good to see you all again.

*Ava rolls over in the dirt*

Robin: What's wrong with her?

Sabre: Don't worry about it. She's just emotionally disturbed.

[Hook in jail]

Hook: You sprung me.

Ava: Why did you put him in there in the first place?

Sabre: Hello he was pretty creepy from a normal point of view.

Ava: Well she's not normal so it's her fault.

Sabre: Her memories were erased what did you expect her to do?

Juliet: Well I didn't expect her to handcuff him to a bench.

Ava: Are you alright?

Hook: I'm fine love, but they tried to force feed me something called bologna. It was horrible!

…..

Ava & Juliet & Sabre: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hook: You are all sadists.

Sabre: That's all you have to complain about? The food?

Ava: Fair enough bologna can be kinda gross.

Hook: Then why did you laugh?

…..

Ava: HAHAHAHA!

Hook: What on earth did I say?

Juliet: The way you said it was just too hilarious. We can't-

Ava & Juliet & Sabre: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hook: If only you were like this the rest of the time.

Sabre: What is that supposed to mean?

Hook: Nothing.

Juliet: Smooth.

*Hook gives her the potion and she remembers him*

Juliet: Don't kiss her again!

Sabre: You know what happened last time. You are so needy.

Hook: Like you aren't?

Sabre: Say that again.

Hook: I said-

Sabre: I am wicked. And I am coming!

*Sabre tries to tackle Hook, but he runs*

Emma: Wait!

Juliet: Let's go get them…

[Shoo!]

Hook: Want me to send him away?

Ava: He's only too eager.

Hook: I just want to give her time and space to absorb it all in.

Juliet: Yeah right.

Ava: You want Emma all to yourself.

Hook: Naturally, but-

Ava: But nothing you want to get in her pants!

Hook: You make it sound so sinister.

Emma: Hook!

Hook: What? I was being honest. You like honesty don't you.

Sabre: You are so stupid. I don't even know where to begin…

Hook: Well if we are going to talk stupid here we should at least start with you.

*Sabre tries to launch herself at him, but is held back by Ava*

Hook: I mean really. You girls sit here every Sunday night to watch us and make fun of us. Then you write down everything you think is funny and post it for others to read. How stupid are you?

Juliet: Well that was rather dark.

….

Ava: He got so defensive…I was totally right when I said that he wants in her pants.

Hook: You-

*Ava let's go of Sabre and she proceeds to beat him with the liquor bottle*

Emma: Hey that's good stuff.

Juliet: We saw a clear picture of the label; no it wasn't.

Hook: Does no one care about me right now?

Ava: No you angry drunk!

[They were right]

*Boyfriend turns into the flying monkey*

Sabre: We called it! We totally called it!

Juliet: I told you all that he was evil.

*Monkey attacks Emma*

Sabre: HAHA! You were going to marry a monkey!

Emma: Shut up!

*Emma knocks it over the building and it disappears*

Hook: What happened?

Sabre: She has been dating a monkey for 8 months…

Juliet: Hey, Ava, we were right!

Juliet: Ava?

*Ava waves at everyone and walks away red in the face*

Sabre: What's wrong with you?

Ava: I'm not even going to say it.

Hook: Say what?

Juliet: You have to say what you're thinking. Otherwise the audience will never know.

…..

…..

Ava: What are they odds she had sex with the monkey?

Ava: I'm leaving now…

[What the hell?]

*Emma in kitchen*

Juliet: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR OUTFITS?!

Sabre: No kidding. Where do you come up with stuff?

Ava: Is this your casual wear?

Emma: Well yeah…

Juliet: Not only did they erase her memories, but they also took away all of her dressing sense.

Ava: The fashion itself is fine, but…

Sabre: This isn't the Emma we know.

Juliet: Looking at her is hard enough because the colors, the bright colors…I'm not used to it.

Emma: I'm right here.

Henry: I like how mom dresses.

Ava: Don't say things like that.

Sabre: Especially after that last scene-

Ava: Don't even.

Juliet: Not like you care. If your mom dressed like Wonder Woman you wouldn't care.

*5 Minutes Later*

*Emma goes to the closet and picks up the red jacket*

Juliet: That's what we are talking about.

Sabre: Adventure time!

Ava: now go change and we can-

*Emma slips it over her dress*

Ava & Juliet & Sabre: WHHAAATT?!

Juliet: You cannot be serious!

Sabre: What the hell?

Ava: That jacket means nothing to me now. It may as well be Snow White's feather dress.

[Sassy Hook]

Henry: What are you wearing?

Hook: What are you wearing?

Juliet: Hook is full of so much sass!

Sabre: He's being so sassy.

Hook: Is that attractive in your world.

Ava: Not on men!

Sabre:…or monkeys.

Ava: Shut up about that! Please!

Juliet:…Are you crying?

[Another Evil Witch]

Elphaba (We are calling her this for now): I will have my revenge.

Ava: Regina what did you do?!

Juliet: How do you know it's her what if it's Gold?

Sabre: Because Regina sticks her nose into everything.

Ava: And pisses everyone off!

Juliet: I thought that you were going to be nice.

Ava: If I find out that she's the reason all of this "revenge" is unfolding. I take back everything I said. She messes up everything.

Elphaba: I could use someone like you…

Ava: Not interested…I know what your monkeys do…and I will have no part in it…

Juliet: She's loosing it.

Sabre: Better wrap this up. I promise to have her fixed by the next show.

Elphaba: Who are you talking to?

Sabre: Something wicked is right here…

Juliet: That's not gonna stop is it?

Sabre: Nope!