Well, as you may have noticed the single quotation (') are thoughts… so 'thoughts' hehe.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Bleach
On the other side
Tatsuki was already waiting for the execution of the plan. The plan Ichigo and she made was simple. She was to go to the tool shed near the field and she was to await the arrival of Ichigo who will also take Ishida with him. Ichigo was supposed to draw out a confession out of Ishida, and afterwards, once Ishida confesses, Tatsuki will reveal herself from that small shack and subsequently confess her feelings for Ishida. It was all too simple, except that they did not get to the part where Tatsuki was supposed to confess since Ishida himself did not do so.
So Tatsuki waited for their arrival, her heart was already having irregular beats, fluttering every now and then from the anticipation and the nervousness. Ichigo had been so sure during their conversation that they will get the confession from Ishida. He said last Friday "I am a guy, I should know" or did he?
Her heart almost stopped when she heard Ichigo and Ishida arriving, it was like 'the moment of truth has arrived' feeling, and her nervousness was at its peak. She willfully calmed herself like she does before entering the mat during her competitions. She took deep measured breaths while she was clenching and unclenching her fists. It helped. She was able to restore her heart beat close to her normal rate. She concentrated on listening to the conversation happening outside her.
"So are you and Setsuna already… together?" That was Ichigo.
"You brought me here to ask this kind of questions? I'm leaving."
She heard some shuffling of cloth and she peered through the door. She couldn't understand the commotion.
"Just stay and let me finish. This is important."
"I don't see why any of this is important." Ishida was already sounding annoyed.
"It just is, so just answer the question so that we can finish this.
"Fine…and no, Setsuna and I are not together, that thought is absurd."
Tatsuki felt herself smile as she heard this.
"Do you want to be together?"
"No. I am not interested in her that way."
Her smile even got wider, and her heart skipped a beat. She can't help but feel triumphant. After all, since Setsuna's arrival, she felt that she met a rival. 'I may have a chance' Tatsuki thought. She returned her attention to the conversation.
"Then why are you walking her home?"
"You are unbelievable, I can't believe you still haven't noticed. Well, figures, you haven't noticed my presence for a long time either, how much more her?"
'What is he talking about?' Tatsuki thought.
"What are you talking about?" Ichigo asked her unspoken question.
There was a pause. The she heard Ishida ask "Anything else?"
"Yeah, as a matter of fact there is. What do you think of Tatsuki?"
Tatsuki's heart again almost stopped beating. "This is it." She said to herself. 'Shit!'
"What?!?"
"Are you deaf or something? I thought I said it clearly. What do you think of Tatsuki?"
"What do you mean what do I think of Arisawa-san?"
The blood was already pounding behind hear ears. 'Oh my gosh, just get to it already. Oh my gosh… oh my gosh…' She was chanting to herself. She was so anxious for the answer that she wanted to already just dash out of there.
The conversation outside continued.
"You stupid or something? It's a simple question."
"Well I think she is a tough girl, who is a good friend of Inoue san, who is a also a part of the school judo team, and that she is good at it…
"That's not what I am asking."
"Then what are you asking Kurosaki?"
"Do you like her?"
As the question was spoken, Tatsuki almost felt her world stop.
Could I curse in this fic? Because if I can, then Tatsuki would be speaking horrendous words that may not be suitable for young audiences. Hehe. So she cursed under her breath. While doing so, she actually zoned out for a few seconds and when she returned…
"Well, in a conventional sense, yes, I like Tatsuki, as much as I like Inoue san."
'What?' Tatsuki found herself dumbfounded. She may have really understood the implications of the statement, but she doesn't want to.
"What's that supposed to mean? And what do you mean by conventional?"
"Well, let me put it in simple terms for your simple brain Kurosaki, I like her as a friend."
'Did I hear him right, did he say as a friend?'
"Only as a friend? I mean you don't like her, like her?"
Tatsuki did not hear any response, she only assumed that Ishida nodded his agreement or some similar gesture. She has not realized it yet as her breath hitched, and there were the beginning tightness on her chest. She unconsciously brought her hand to it.
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yes Kurosaki, whatever made you jump into that conclusion?"
Her previous emotions which consisted of anxiety was now erased only to be replaced by feelings that she couldn't describe. Painful, suffocating, those are the closest words tha can describe what she is currently feeling. She wasn't aware of the tears that were already starting to collect in her eyes.
She wasn't already fully paying attention to the two of them. She heard Ichigo's voice wavering, catching some phrases like "doesn't make sense", "not how you would normally" and "the way you treat her."
She heard Ishida's voice and she willed herself to listen, she still have to make sure, she could have heard wrong or he may say something different.
"I treat her like the way I would treat Inoue-san, or Kuchiki-san, or Nakajima-san, or any other girl. Like in Nakajima-sans case, I am not interested in her that way."
The last phrase came to her like a bullet train at top speed. Now the tears that were brimming her eyes fell, and she still did not now she was crying, until she looked down to the floor and saw tiny droplets on the dirt. She gripped at her skirt, as she let herself succumb to the ache she was feeling at her core. She let her sobs come quietly, as she took in breaths sharply to lessen the pain she was feeling.
She was hearing Ichigo's voice rise, but didn't realize that he was angry, and was angry on her behalf, she was already drowned in her tears and disappointment that everything happening outside of her was already a blur.
But she heard the last statement, of Ichigo talking for her, but she couldn't take it anymore.
"Ichigo," she called out as she went outside the shed, her voice coming out hoarse from crying, "just stop. Just stop."
"Tatsuki" She heard Ichigo began, "I'm so—"
"Just shut up!" Tatsuki yelled at Ichigo as she looked at him. The last thing she needed now was his pity. Then she turned her eyes at Ishida, and locked in his eyes for a few seconds, berating herself inwardly for even hoping. But then again, she saw the expression in his eyes, the gentleness behind them. The eyes that made her believe she was worth a woman.
'Lies' she told herself, 'All lies'. She immediately turned and ran to leave before those same eyes make her believe that it held genuine warmth.
She ran and ran, with all the speed she could muster, crying all the time as she was scolding herself. 'How stupid could I be? Why did I even believe in that in the first place? I hate him! I hate Ichigo, and above all I hate myself for feeling this towards a boy,' Tatsuki thought as she was running. She did not mind the people giving her questioning looks on the way. She ran where her feet would take her, she did not even think where she was heading, she wasn't aware that Ichigo was following her.
She stopped by an abandoned warehouse as she already felt tired. She brought her hands to her thighs as she leaned panting for air. She did not know how long it was she was running. She felt like she was crying but there were no more tears coming out of her eyes, it felt as if it had dried up.
She heard someone call her name. She straightened up and turned to look. Ichigo.
"Tatsuki!" Ichigo said breathless. He now assumed the position assumed by Tatsuki earlier.
Tatsuki just looked at him. She was angry alright, but she cannot bring herself to scream at Ichigo or throw curses at him, or even punches. Her face only remained expressionless as she stared at Ichigo's panting form.
"Tatsuki, please" Ichigo pleaded.
Tatsuki lifted her head as she closed her eyes for a few seconds, and then reopened them again to gaze at the sky. Funny, she thought, there was no trace of rainclouds anywhere. The sky was clear with only a few wisps of clouds. She was always made to believe that sadness came with rain. Why isn't it raining now? Or is everything going against her? She thought cynically.
"I hate boys," Tatsuki began, she was still gazing at the sky, "you know that right, Ichigo?" She then turned her gaze at him.
Ichigo then took her eyes away from her to look to the ground. Of course he knew, they had been friends for too long. The only person who probably know Tatsuki better that him was Orihime.
"This just reminded me of why I hated boys in the first place," she was now smiling sadly, then her eyes turned fierce as she spoke the next words "and they have never changed since then."
At age 7, Tatsuki was already one of the best in her Judo class. She was one of the few kids that were being groomed to become athletes in this game. But she was far from the best. There was a boy, and his name was Jack, he was a year older than Tatsuki. Every time it was his turn to take center stage and show his skills, Tatsuki field of vision would narrow down so that all that she could see was him. She would always dreamily watch him as he went on sparring with his partner. She strived to be the best to catch his attention.
After two years of intense training on her part, she never failed to practice for at least two hours a day after class, she was finally able to get herself a black belt. Now she and Jack were both already black belters. She felt now, she was good enough for him. So one day, after a sleepless night of writing then throwing, then rewriting a love note, she approached him.
"Hey Jack," Tatsuki said, smiling sheepishly at him as she was looking to her side, then only glancing at Jack.
"Oh hey Tatsuki, what's up?" He replied. He was actually surrounded by his group of friends, who edged closer as Tatsuki came.
"I just wanted to give you this." Then she passed a small note to Jack.
"What's this?" he asked as he unfolded the note, his eyes going through it.
Tatsuki blushed as she watched him read the note. Jack's eyes went to her face, then back to the note, then to her face again. Then he did the unthinkable. He passed the note to his friends, who in turn read it aloud between them, looked at Tatsuki then laughed in her stead. Jack then turned around to leave, leaving a humiliated Tatsuki who was frozen in her place.
But amazingly, she did not cry, not yet. As if Jack and his gang realized this and as if not satisfied with what they already did to Tatsuki, Jack turned his face to look at her with his back still facing her, he said "I only like girls, I don't think you count as one." And they went howling in laughter high fiving as they did so.
That was when Tatsuki cried and ran.
A few years later, Jack and Tatsuki met at a competition, fighting for a championship. Of course, they were not fighting in the same division, since Tatsuki was fighting under the women's division. But after the competition, Tatsuki emerged as champion while jack sat there a loser.
Although Tatsuki savored that moment, the only people who knew the whole story was Ichigo and Orihime. She hated boys since Jack.
Ichigo could not disagree with what Tatsuki said but somehow, he felt the need to defend his kind. "Well, you shouldn't generalize. I'm sure there are others there, someone who is really meant for you."
"Hn. Do you actually believe what you are saying?"
"I do, I really do. Guys like different kinds of girls. I'm sure there is someone out there for you, you just haven't met him."
Tatsuki just glanced to the floor.
"And yeah, Ishida is a prick. Forget about him, he doesn't deserve you." Ichigo said.
Tatsuki returned her gaze at Ichigo, and she smiled faintly. She had already poured her feelings earlier, and she was now slightly felt better.
They lapsed in a comfortable silence. Then Tatsuki said, "Thank you Ichigo."
Ichigo smiled in his turn. "Ha, what would you do without me."
Tatsuki turned and raised an eyebrow at Ichigo. "For one thing, I wouldn't feel this miserable if it hadn't been for your stupid plan."
Ichigo scratched his head as he laughed nervously.
Tatsuki again turned to look at the sky, "It's getting dark, we should get home."
"Alright, I'll walk you to you place."
Tatsuki did not protest as the started on their tracks heading for home.
"So what happens now?" Ichigo asked.
Tatsuki haven't thought this far yet, but now that he had mentioned it, what now?
"I'll probably just try to forget this, try to put it behind me, like what I did Jack" Tatsuki said as she remembered the time. "I think Ishida is decent enough to do the same."
Ichigo just nodded. Tatsuki is a tough girl, and this is a small thing. She would get over it easily. Wouldn't she?
"Say Tatsuki, what about I buy you some Ice cream to help make you feel better?"
"There is a lot more than Ice cream that can make me forgive you," Tatsuki said, "but Ice cream is a good start."
Then they took a small detour before they headed home.
Ishida just stared at the ceiling as he was lying on his bed. He looked again to the clock on top of the small table near his bed. Its glowing numbers read 10:30. He had been lying there for more than thirty minutes.
It was one of the days when he could go to bed early. There were no tests tomorrow, and the day after that. He had already read tomorrow's lesson twice, or was it thrice? He had already studied for the lessons, the next day, then the next, and the next, or maybe up to the end of the week. He has finished his sewing project that weekend and has not started a new one, and was not in the mood to start one. He also already finished the pocket book that he was reading and still doesn't have the money to buy a new one, since he bought that expensive cake. And so he just stared at the ceiling.
Normally, after going to bed, he would easily fall to sleep five to ten minutes after, which was after he took his nightly showers. It doesn't matter what time he goes to bed. He can go to bed early because, usually in the previous days, he lacks sleep, so his body would still need to catch up. So now why couldn't he just sleep?
Well, to be frank, he knew why, but he couldn't understand it. There was this tugging feeling in his gut and then there was the popping image of Tatsuki. Not just any image, but her crying face earlier this day.
He was actually telling the truth when he said that he was not interested in her that way, or so he thought he was telling the truth. He concluded that this feeling that he had was out of guilt for hurting her feelings. But why would he be guilty when it was the truth? It wasn't his fault, he reasoned, but the reason was not good enough to drive the feeling away.
He groaned as he took a pristine white pillow, with a large light blue cross at the center as a matter of fact, by his side and put it to cover his face. But the images did not go away. Whether he closed his eyes or opened them, he sees the same thing, the same face. Tatsuki.
"Why?" He said to himself as he pushed the pillow on his face with both hands.
He then remembered his conversation with Ichigo. Then he suddenly sat up.
'What if I really liked her?' Ishida asked himself. 'What if? How would I know?'
He searched his brains for an answer but really couldn't find one, well at least one that is based on intelligence, or knowledge, which was what his brains are full of. It's poverty for social contact is not helping him in this situation.
But then, Tatsuki's crying face was replaced by images of her blushing as her eyes widen when he looks at her. Of how he found himself looking back and again at her during the concert of that visual kei band that they attended. Of how she smells like roses as she talked to her ear at that same concert. Of how his heart thudded loudly in his chest when they bumped to each other only days ago. Of how, now remembering all of this, he found Tatsuki an absolutely beautiful woman in her own way.
Ishida ran a hand thru his hair as he silently said to himself, "Maybe I really do like her."
Ishida took his eyeglasses from the stand and changed his clothes. He was going out tonight, and he did not care if it was already this late. He was going to Tatsuki, and he was going to apologize.
'And maybe tell her the truth.' He thought as he opened his door to leave.
This is dedicated to JasotheArtitsan because his review is actually worth 5 reviews. Thank you very much.
Well, Ishida doesn't have much of an experience to back him up in this sort of things doesn't he?
I hope you like this chapter... NOw on to the final chapter. hopefully... Review if you must, and it will be greatly appreciated.
