ps: Immi, we heard you loud and clear...yet... ;-)


Chapter 12: Catherine

The drive back to the townhouse is painfully long. This is the second time I've asked Mac to pull over so that I can puke. I'm not even sure what I'm throwing up at this point. The only thing I've eaten in the last twenty-four hours is Sara's so called dinner last night which was only a salad. I'm standing outside of Mac's car, holding myself up with my hands on my knees and trying to remember what the hell I've put in my body that could have made me this fucking sick. My retching finally subsides and I climb back inside the car.

"You doing okay there?" Mac asks as she places her hand on my shoulder.

"I wish I was dead!" And I'm not lying. I've never felt as bad as I feel right at this moment. Seventeen hours of labor with Lindsey doesn't even hold a candle to what I'm feeling at this moment. I lean my head against the cool window of the car.

"It's probably just a touch of food poisoning. Did you eat something out of the norm in the last day?" Mac's hand continues to make soothing motions on the back of my shoulder. God that feels good.

I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut tightly before doubling over again in the seat. Mac immediately began to slow down, anticipating another stop on the shoulder of the road.

"Just keep going," I said through clenched teeth.

A few minutes later, we finally pull up in the driveway of the townhouse.

Mac says, "Hold on and I'll help you out." She immediately moves to my side of the car and opens the door. She reaches across me to undo my seatbelt before holding her hand out to me. Once she has me out of the car, she reaches back in, grabs my purse, and then leads me slowly to the door of the house I'm now sharing with Sara indefinitely.

"You have your key?" A look of sheer stupidity must cross my face as she laughs lightly. "I'll take that as a no."

"Shit. Fuck. Damn. Sara put the key on the counter and told me to take it, but I never did." I double over again in pain.

She winks at me before adding, "No problem. I can handle this." She pulls something out of her pocket and within seconds, she's managed to open the front door.

I'm standing there in slack-jawed awe. "How did you…." I am unable to finish my question as another wave of nausea overtakes me and I quickly seek refuge in the downstairs bath.

Minutes pass and I'm finally able to walk upright again. I open the door and Mac is just standing there against the wall holding a glass of water in one hand and two pink tablets in the other. "Pepto—it might help."

I take them wordlessly and chew them before slowly sipping the water she brought me.

"How about we go get you out of these clothes?" she asks with concern in her voice.

I immediately raise an eyebrow at the comment. I may be sick as hell right now, but my libido definitely isn't. "Excuse me?"

A beautiful shade of cherry settles in her cheeks before she begins to stammer, "Ms. Willows, uh, I….didn't mean….what I meant was…."

"I knew what you meant, Mac. Calm down. And I think that's a good idea," I turn to walk up the stairs and immediately take note of the fact that she's right behind me.

As if she knew what I was about to ask, she spoke up. "Can't have you falling down the stairs, can we?"

We reach the landing and I motion to the door of my room. "I'll just change and be right out."

Mac just smiles and nods. A few minutes later I emerge wearing sweatpants and a tank top.

"Why don't you grab a pillow? You can lie down on the couch downstairs so I can keep an eye on you," she suggests before I pull the door to my room shut.

I close my eyes and grab the door frame in a vain attempt to stop the tilt-a-whirl ride in my head. I feel my knees slightly buckle before strong, yet feminine arms, grab me to hold me up.

"Alright, that's it. Down to the couch we go," she firmly states as she drapes one of my arms over her shoulder and wraps her arm around my waist.

We slowly descend the stairs and she guides me gently to the couch. A few minutes later she returns and tenderly lifts my head to put a pillow behind it and drapes a light blanket over me. "I took these off your bed. I hope that's okay," she says to me apologetically.

My eyes are closed, but a smile crosses my lips instinctively. Barely above a whisper, I ask my caretaker, "This is the kinda thing I do for my little girl. Do you have kids?"

There's a slight pause and I can tell she's trying to decide how best to answer my question. "I had a daughter." There's a certain melancholy in her voice. I'm not blind to the pain just saying that must have caused her and decide not to push the issue for now.

"Ms. Willows?"

"Catherine. Cath. Anything but Ms. Willows. Please. I know I'm old, but I don't need you to point out just how old. Okay?"

"Okay. Catherine…..could you tell me what your symptoms are? I think we should note what's going on with you…just in case."

I'm speaking barely above a whisper and it takes me a while to get my words out because I'm fighting the nausea. "Nausea…vomiting…dizziness…stomach cramps…headache…"

I pull my legs up nearly to my chin in an effort to help the stomach cramps subside. I feel her sit down beside me on the couch and then there's the warm contact of her hand on my back. She makes slow, lazy circles on my back. It's so soothing. It reminds me of what my mother always did for us when we were sick and what I do for Lindsey when she's ill.

XXXXX

I'm not sure how much time has passed between falling asleep on the couch and waking up, but I feel a million times better than I did when I first got home. I groggily push myself up from the couch I've been sleeping on and trudge up the stairs to my bathroom.

I stand in front of the mirror and take in the scary sight that is me. My hair is disheveled. My eyeliner and mascara are smeared. I'm truly a sight to behold. I wash my face, brush my teeth and wrestle my hair into submission before heading back downstairs.

For the first time, I notice that Mac is nowhere to be seen. "Mac?" I call out for her. No answer. "Mac?" I say a little louder.

I hear a faint, "Back here."

I walk down the hallway and find her in the room I first discovered yesterday when Sara and I arrived. She's sitting in a chair facing the different photos on the wall and has a file in her hand. I walk up behind her, place my hands on her shoulders before resting my chin on her head. "Whatcha doin'?"

"I'm just looking through these files, hoping that maybe I can pick up on something that someone else missed. I tired of watching you sleep after the first two hours."

I sit on the edge of the table and she turns around in the chair to face me. "Jeez, how long was I out?"

McKenzie looks down at her watch and says, "About eight hours."

She's looking a little nervous and intuitively I know something is bothering her. "Something up?"

She exhales a deep breath, like she's trying to get her nerve up to speak. "While you were out, your phone rang. I know you said you had a little girl and I didn't want her to just get put through to your voice mail, so I answered your phone."

I sat up straight and my arms crossed my chest. "Who was it? Was it Jenny?" I know the answer before she confirms it. "Oh, well. What did she have to say?"

"First of all, she wanted to speak with you. And when I told her you were asleep, she wanted to know who I was and why I was answering your phone. I tried explaining, but I don't think she believed a single word I was saying," she looks down at the file in her hands before glancing back up at me. "That was your girlfriend, wasn't it?"

I push myself off of the table and slowly move around the room, studying the pictures. "I'm not sure 'girlfriend' is an accurate term to describe my relationship with Jenny."

"Then what is?"

I sigh heavily as I run my fingers through my hair. "I dunno. A distraction, perhaps? I've gone out on four dates with her. All we ever do is talk. I can't seem to get past the talking stage with her. And it's certainly not for her lack of trying." I feel myself blushing as I turn around to find Mac studying me. I smile weakly under her piercing gaze. "Since Sara….I've been numb. I wanted to feel something again. Jenny's attractive, intelligent, and young." I laugh deeply, "I guess it was three too many dates, right?"

The room suddenly feels very small and I feel very naked. I've known this woman for less than twelve hours. Well, I've known her that long and was unconscious for two-thirds of that time. But still, I barely know her, yet with little effort, she manages to get me to say things that I don't even want to say to myself much less another living, breathing human being.

"Maybe you're not ready to move on from whatever you had with Ms. Sidle."

"That's just it," I say as I move closer to her. "I am ready. I have to be ready. I can't keep thinking about Sara. We had our chance—a chance. And it wasn't meant to be. I've always believed in never looking back and never regretting. I don't regret my time with her and I don't regret the relationship ending. I just…I don't trust Sara. I love her. I'll always love her. But I feel like I don't know her anymore. And you can't have a future with a stranger."

I sink into a chair at the table and take a cleansing breath to move past my little scene. "Did you discover anything new in the files?"

I sit there watching Agent Ramirez lightly rubbing her forehead. "Yeah…well, no. I'm not sure." She sat up in the chair and slid it closer to the table. "I don't think you have complete case files here, Catherine."

"What? Why would they set this room up for us and leave only partial files? That doesn't make much sense."

"I know. It doesn't make sense. That's my point. I know Liam. He's the one that set everything up for you two here. This room was his idea. I helped gather some of the files. I know this isn't everything."

She certainly had my full attention at this point. "What do you mean?" While waiting for her response, my mind wandered back to the previous evening when I caught Sara sneaking back upstairs. Had she done something to the case files? Removed pieces that would help us crack this case?

"Well," Mac started, "you're missing interview notes on this case here." She pushed a file toward me. "The evidence log for this case is missing." She handed me another file. "This first case, I swear, there were nearly twice as many papers in this file as there are now." She was flipping through that file, comparing it to what she remembered. "I just can't understand why Liam would only give you partial files."

As those words leave her mouth, I'm thinking to myself, he didn't. Just when I thought I couldn't feel more contempt for the woman who once shared my bed, I manage to.

I can't think about this any longer. I stand up and walk towards the door.

"I'm hungry. Actually, I'm starving. Would you care to join me for dinner?" I smile softly in her direction.

"I'd love to," she says almost too eagerly as she jumps up and walks toward me.

XXXXX

"I can't believe you don't think this is comfort food!" I say to my dinner companion as I break off another piece of my grilled cheese sandwich. "When we were sick, my mother always made us tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. It's what I crave now when I don't feel well."

"Sorry, I just don't see it," she says as she lifts the tomato soup-soaked sandwich to her mouth.

I look at her and giggle.

"What's so funny?" she asks seriously.

"You've got a little something," I reach out my hand toward her face to wipe away the melted cheese from her chin, "right there." Her eyes flutter shut as my hand touches her. I immediately pull back like I've just stuck my hand in a vat of molten steel.

Her eyes are glassy when she opens them and I'm sure that mine are, too. I have not had sex for seven months. Seven. Very. Long. Months. The last person I had sex with was Sara. I will myself not to think about her and enjoy this moment.

I stand up and start to clear my dishes and move to the kitchen. I'm putting the dishes in the sink when I feel her behind me, pressing me against the counter. My eyes are shut and my heart is racing. I feel her reaching around me and then I hear the clatter of her dishes in the sink. Shit, she was only putting her dishes in the sink. Get a grip, Willows.

I will myself to calm down and turn on the water to begin washing dishes, but she doesn't move. She's still pressed against my back. She puts her hands on my hips and then I feel her luscious, warm, silken lips caressing the ivory skin of my neck.

A new type of dizziness overtakes me as I shut the water off and enjoy the feeling of her mouth on my neck. Mac's arms move around my waist and pull me closer against her. I hear myself moan at the contact with her body before a cough brings me back to my senses.

At the sound, Mac releases me and steps backwards immediately. I slowly and deliberately open my eyes, already prepared for who I'm going to see.

Sara. I see the conflict in her eyes. Pain. Anger. Hurt. And I know I put those there.

For reasons I can't explain, I feel guilty. I feel guilty and dirty and I...I don't care.

"Sara, I'm surprised you're back so soon. You mean you weren't able to solve the case in one afternoon?"

She just glares at Mac coldly before turning her icy gaze to me. "Well, someone's obviously feeling better. Then again, you've never been beyond using your sexuality to get what you want. Have you, Cath?"

A neutral voice spoke up and broke our staring contest. "I think I should go. Cath," she said as she planted a chaste kiss on my cheek, "call if you need me. Ms. Sidle, have a good evening."

Agent Ramirez started for the door and Sara followed her.

Once she opened her car door, she turned to face Sara. "Was there something you needed, Ms. Sidle?"

Anger burned in Sara's eyes. "Stay away from Catherine."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Sara stepped closer to McKenzie. "Stay away from her," she said as she pushed McKenzie against the car. "Just, stay away from her."

Mac was quick to reverse their positions, pinning Sara against the car. "Listen, Sidle. I don't know what you're playing at here, but Catherine doesn't belong to you. You can't tell her what to do and you sure as hell can't tell me what to do, chica. I suggest," she loosened her grip on Sara, "you take it easy," straightened Sara's shirt, "and put the missing pieces of those files back before Catherine figures it out."

Mac calmly stepped into her car, shut the door and drove off.

Sara stood there, only able to stare at the disappearing car in the distance.


Thanks for reading.