Confrontation
"…there are things you can sacrifice for Xiao Yan Zi, which I would wholeheartedly support you in; there are yet other things you can never sacrifice! Among them are your reputation, your credibility and ability to rule your officials and your country! I know you know this! And if Xiao Yan Zi does not understand that, perhaps you should make her."
Xiao Yan Zi could hear Er Tai's voice clearly even through the closed door, and saw Shun Gong Gong's nervous glance her way. She could feel that her family behind her was staring at her. All of them were probably waiting for a reaction to these words.
She should be upset, she supposed, but it was hardly fair of her to hold grudge against Er Tai for these words, perhaps too honestly said, when she knew he was on their side. Even Xiao Yan Zi could see where he was coming from. There were times like these when she was glad to know that at least Er Tai would always protect Yong Qi's interest even Yong Qi himself would not. So she could not blame him for his frank words that came from a place of loyalty.
She merely nodded at Shun Gong Gong and gestured for him to announce her.
As they waited for Shun Gong Gong to open the door, Xiao Yan Zi turned and exchanged a nervous look with her brother.
Stepping into the room, Xiao Yan Zi saw that Er Tai was standing to the side, looking impassive, while Yong Qi straightened from where he was standing in front of his desk and leaning back against it during his conversation with Er Tai.
There was a tense silence in the room as everyone entered, and the door was closed behind them. For a moment, it was just all of them staring at each other, probably all wondering how on earth this bizarre and uncomfortable situation should be navigated.
Then, it was broken, when Qing Er knelt down. Yong Qi immediately made a noise in protest and extended his arm in a gesture for her to stand up. Xiao Yan Zi smiled slightly and shook her head. It might have been possible to stop Qing Er kneeling to her, but she knew it was impossible when Qing Er was now faced with the Emperor.
"Qing Er pays respects to Huang Shang. Huang Shang wan sui, wan sui, wan wan sui."
"Really, Qing Er, you need not be so formal. Do stand up."
Qing Er stood up, smiling. "Ever since Huang Shang came to the throne, Qing Er has not yet had the chance to pay respects to Huang Shang. It is only necessary."
Yong Qi smiled back at her and shook his head, before turning to Xiao Jian. In that moment, Xiao Yan Zi wondered whether the rest of her family were even aware yet of the relationship between Qing Er and Yong Qi. If Xiao Jian did not tell them about her, it was doubtful that he and Qing Er would have ever mentioned anything about Qing Er's own ties to the imperial family.
"If you expect me to kneel as well – " Xiao Jian was saying to Yong Qi, though there was no edge in his tone and he was smiling.
"I don't," Yong Qi said shortly, smiling as well, and clapping Xiao Jian on the back. "You never did, the last time you were here, I don't expect you to now."
Xiao Yan Zi exchanged a look with Qing Er. So the least complicated parts were over, now came the complicated ones. Xiao Yan Zi could not help feeling nervous and it looked like Qing Er did not know what to expect to come either, and was gripping her hands together in a sign of her own anxiety.
"Right," Xiao Jian said, both looking and sounding extremely tense, "may I introduce my Father and Mother. Father, Mother, this is…Huang Shang."
"Huang Shang," was her father's curt reply, accompanied by a brief inclination of his head. Xiao Yan Zi felt relieved that for whatever reason, her father did not even attempt to observe the necessary greetings due to an emperor to Yong Qi, because that could only make the entire thing, already impossibly awkward, even a thousand times worse. Of all the people who would kneel at his feet, she knew Yong Qi did not need her parents to be among them, and especially not in this situation.
"Fang Daren," Yong Qi said with an attempt at a smile. "I am pleased to meet you, though I wish it were under happier circumstances."
Xiao Yan Zi could not remember much of what followed, except that was full of tense silences and a lot of exchanging wary, uncomfortable looks with Qing Er, waiting for something to go wrong. However, both Yong Qi and her father seemed to have decided to compensate for the discomfort with exaggerated formality.
The brief introduction to Li Cheng An was even more uncomfortable, but then Xiao Yan Zi had expected that. From what they knew, she was not at all surprised when Cheng An spoke little and spent much of his time shooting hostile looks at Yong Qi. Xiao Jian looked even more agitated when introducing Cheng An. Then again, it was Cheng An's father who died all those years ago when it should have been Fang Zhi Hang at the block, and if anyone had rights to grudge, hostility and revenge, it was Cheng An.
To Xiao Yan Zi's relief, and Xiao Jian's too, if the look on his face was any indication, Cheng An didn't try to do anything more sinister than glare. It wasn't until Yong Qi and Xiao Jian turned to Fang Yi that the chaos broke out.
The whole thing couldn't have happened in more than a few seconds, however, to Xiao Yan Zi, it was as if everything was in slow motion.
It started when she noticed a flash of metal and had just enough time to realise that her younger brother was drawing a dagger from inside his sleeve.
"No!" she gasped and unthinkingly rushed between the dagger and Yong Qi. Qing Er cried out next to her and attempted to grab her arm and pull her back, but could not move fast enough.
Yong Qi did manage to grab Xiao Yan Zi's wrist, however, and jerked her away from the knife, pushing her back in the direction of her older brother.
"Xiao Jian!"
She fell back against Xiao Jian's waiting arms, but struggled against him, turning back, seeing, to her immense relief, that Yong Qi had managed to twist the dagger out of Fang Yi's hand. At the same time, Er Tai swiftly kicked his legs out from under him, making Fang Yi buckle and fell to his knees, with Yong Qi holding the knife to his neck.
Silence fell.
It was as if the wind was knocked out of Xiao Yan Zi; she took gulping deep breaths and looked around. Xiao Jian still had his hands on her elbows and she did not feel calm enough to allow herself to stand without his support.
Er Tai had an iron grip on Fang Yi's shoulder, keeping him kneeling down while Yong Qi still held the tip of the dagger to Fang Yi's neck. Yong Qi was staring at Fang Yi, his face rushing through so many expressions and emotions at once that Xiao Yan Zi – even if she were feeling calm – could not predict what would happen next.
Just a few steps away, both her parents and Cheng An were staring, horrified, at the scene. Mother had a hand pressed against her heart, and was leaning against Qing Er, who had rushed over to support her. Both Father and Cheng An looked like they would rush in to rescue Fang Yi if only they could be sure that any movement now would not end his life on the spot.
"Give me a reason why I shouldn't," Yong Qi said to Fang Yi, his voice eerily cold.
Her parents paled considerably at the words. Xiao Yan Zi could hear her mother made a choking noise and Qing Er take a sharp intake of breath. Xiao Jian seemed to be gripping her arm even more tightly, and Xiao Yan Zi wondered what her older brother's reaction would be if Yong Qi even attempted the impossible. Even she felt her own heart skip a beat at the uncharacteristically chilling tone of Yong Qi's voice, though she knew in her heart that he would never do it. Not like this. Not here. Not in front of her. Not at all.
Fang Yi, however, was staring up at him with equally cold eyes. "Do it then," he hissed.
What followed was a tense moment where no one dared to move, and Yong Qi simply stared back.
Then – he was already pulling the dagger away – when Xiao Jian, who could not stand the tension anymore, started to say, "Yong Qi – "
Yong Qi turned to look at Xiao Jian. "Really, Xiao Jian? You trust me so little?" he asked softly.
Xiao Yan Zi could hear Xiao Jian let out a relieved breath behind her. "No, of course not," he said.
Everyone only dared to slump with relief when Er Tai, after exchanging a look with Yong Qi, loosened his grip on Fang Yi's shoulder and allowed him to stand. Fang Yi, however, did not seem so grateful, because he muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear, "Coward."
Yong Qi turned to face him again, though there was no change in his expression and he did not look bothered by the insult. "No," he said to Fang Yi calmly. "I merely value your sister's peace of mind more than your life, dead or alive."
Then, as foolish as it seemed to turn his back to someone who just moments ago tried to kill him, Yong Qi did just so and faced Xiao Yan Zi (though to be fair, Er Tai's eyes were still following Fang Yi's every move, with his fist clenched). As collected as he seemed upon meeting Fang Yi's eyes just now, Yong Qi's expression, now facing her, was filled with worry and fear; Xiao Yan Zi could tell he was struggling to not tremble with terror now that only she and Xiao Jian could see.
"What were you thinking?" he asked, his voice low and shaking slightly with anger and concern.
Xiao Yan Zi opened her mouth, poised to protest, then she remembered. Right. Of course. Baby. She winced at her own stupidity, though the need to come between Yong Qi and the threat to his life had been instinctive.
"I…forgot, sorry," she said.
He let out an unsteady breath and visibly struggled to calm himself before shaking his head exasperatedly.
Xiao Jian looked from one to the other enquiringly, but when Xiao Yan Zi shook her head, refusing to elaborate, he moved instead towards Fang Yi, giving their brother a hard look and pulling him away from Yong Qi.
Meanwhile, Yong Qi gave the dagger to Er Tai, blade pointing at Er Tai's chest. "Really? After all those arguments about safety?" he asked in a mocking tone.
Er Tai merely reached over and took the dagger by the hilt. "You knew he was armed before he drew the weapon," he said mildly.
"True, but you let him bring a weapon into the room."
"I wanted to see if he would actually use it, and reckoned between the two of us we could have dealt with it. I didn't think Niang Niang here would do something so utterly stupid," Er Tai said, throwing a look in Xiao Yan Zi's direction.
Yong Qi turned back to Xiao Jian with an eyebrow raised in question.
"I would be a lot more concerned if you could not take my seventeen-year-old brother with a knife on your own," Xiao Jian merely said. "If I thought he could actually be a danger to you, I would have stopped him."
Yong Qi smiled. "Point taken."
"That wasn't funny," Xiao Yan Zi protested.
"We would have handled it with slightly more finesse if you hadn't stepped in," Er Tai said. "Though, on second thought, clearly it was a mistake to assume you would not."
Xiao Yan Zi huffed in annoyance at the realisation at what was clear a test of Fang Yi's intentions. He must have somehow found a weapon during his short stay at Fu residence. Given Er Tai's whole attitude to the situation, Xiao Yan Zi wouldn't put it past him to have put it in Fang Yi's way. Er Tai probably wanted to know, given the opportunity and circumstances, whether Fang Yi would carry out the actions accompanying the philosophy that led to where they were in the first place. Xiao Yan Zi could see now that the stiff posture Fang Yi held the whole time wasn't due to the tense meetings, but also because he was gripping and concealing a weapon the whole time. Yong Qi must have recognised it for what it was, so was ready when Fang Yi acted, even if he then had to deal with her rash reactions at the same time. Though, upon further reflection, that probably meant that Xiao Jian was aware of the concealed weapon too. Did he want to test his younger brother too, or did he not want to draw attention to it, in case it would condemn them even more? Whatever the case was, she could not help be annoyed that any of them would be willing to take such chances. At the same time, she could not help but be slightly thrown off by the realisation that usually in situations like these, the reckless one should be her. Clearly, when it came to Yong Qi's life, she was more averse to thrill and danger than she ever admitted to herself.
While all these thoughts were rushing through her, rendering her unable to speak for the moment, Yong Qi turned to her parents and said sincerely, "I am sorry for alarming you. Just so we are clear, I would never have done it. Putting aside the fact that we are in my own study and I would not harm Xiao Yan Zi's family in front of her, I could never kill a man in cold blood when he is so clearly without self-defense, no matter his infractions against myself."
Xiao Yan Zi could not be sure whether her parents were convinced. Her father did give a terse nod of acknowledgement of Yong Qi's point, but how much he truly believed, she could not tell. It was bad enough that they were meeting under this stormy cloud in the first place, the struggle that occurred just now, however brief, would only solidify the tension, catching Xiao Yan Zi uncomfortably in the middle.
Yong Qi had turned to Fang Yi, and was speaking to him now. Xiao Jian remained close to Fang Yi's elbow, much to his visible annoyance.
"What did you expect to achieve if you manage to kill me?" Yong Qi asked. "What did you expect to happen?"
"I would have freed this country of an emperor who does not belong in his position and is not worthy of ruling this country!" Fang Yi spat.
"I assure you the argument of whether I am worthy for this position has been undertaken extensively by everyone around me. I am not sure you will add anything significant or new to it," Yong Qi said dryly. "But let us assume that you succeed, you would leave this country in the hands of a five-year-old child. If the child was your nephew, one might even say you get something out of it, but unfortunately my eldest living son is not your sister's son. All you would achieve should you succeed killing me would be signing the death warrant on your entire family, including your sister and your niece and nephews. Then again, that is not much difference from where we are standing now."
"So by your own admission you're going to kill us anyway, I might as well take you with me."
Yong Qi laughed. "Believe me, if I wanted you dead, you would not be here."
"What do you want then?"
"I want and I am trying, believe it or not, to save all your lives," Yong Qi answered, "and I really would appreciate it if you'd at least co-operate and let me try."
Xiao Yan Zi detected a hint of weariness in his last words and from Fang Yi's attitude, she supposed she could not quite blame him for it.
"Why?" Fang Yi demanded bluntly.
Yong Qi exchanged a look with Xiao Jian, as if to ask if their brother was always like this. Xiao Jian shrugged but did not say anything. Poised as he was to interfere should Fang Yi attack again, Xiao Jian so far had been watching the exchange with an expression of curiosity on his face, willing to let it play out, to witness his brother and brother-in-law challenge each other, and thus get a measure of each other, as long as it did not take a turn for the murderous again.
"I can give you a lot of pretty reasons why I'd want to spare your life and those of your family, but shall we just skip all that and say the only important reason is your sister," Yong Qi said.
Fang Yi stared at him for a long moment, before turning to stare at her. Xiao Yan Zi stared back. Thus far, it did not take a genius to sense that her younger brother was less than happy with her current situation, for all that her parents had decided to reserve judgement for now.
"Sister," he said coolly to her, approaching her.
"Brother," she answered, more temperately.
He studied her for a long moment, during which Xiao Yan Zi met his gaze steadily, before he turned abruptly to Xiao Jian. "How are we even sure she is Xiao Ci?" he demanded.
"What?" both Xiao Yan Zi and Xiao Jian exclaimed.
"What are the proofs that she is Xiao Ci anyway?" Fang Yi asked.
Xiao Jian stared at him, astonished. It suddenly occurred to Xiao Yan Zi that Fang Yi did have a point. For the first time ever, she wondered, where was the proof that she really was Fang Ci, other than assumptions, probably partly fueled by both Xiao Jian's and her desperate wishes to find each other?
"What are you trying to say?" Xiao Jian demanded, irritated and offended.
"Exactly that. Do you have any proof that she is Fang Ci?"
Xiao Jian looked ready to furiously protest, however Yong Qi spoke up before he could.
"Actually, Xiao Jian, your brother does have a point. Yes, there is the family resemblance, but we have never had more concrete proof than that. Frankly at the moment you've better hope that the family connection is real considering it's probably the thing keeping you alive. Well, except perhaps also your marriage to Qing Er."
"Oh," Qing Er said softly, looking up suddenly at Yong Qi and shaking her head emphatically, though it was too late. "We haven't – "
Everyone was staring at Qing Er now. Could it be possible that they still didn't know, Xiao Yan Zi wondered. Despite having told their parents everything else, how could her brother and Qing Er still not tell them of Qing Er's true identity?
"What do you mean?" her father was saying slowly. "How does Qing Er help us in this matter?"
"You haven't told them…" Yong Qi said, looking from Qing Er to Xiao Jian.
"As I told the family before," Qing Er said before Xiao Jian could answer, "I do not expect my family to be able help me get out of any difficult position now that I am married away."
"You may not expect it, Qing Er, but surely you cannot think that I would allow any harm to come your way, especially by my order. Lao Fo Ye would never forgive me," Yong Qi said simply. "Even under these circumstances."
"That is not the point!" she insisted.
Yong Qi looked intensely at her for a long moment, before asking pointedly, "Is it not, Cousin?"
Qing Er closed her eyes in obvious resignation. Despite the situation, Xiao Yan Zi smiled, amused, as everyone, except those who already knew, exclaimed in astonishment, "Cousin?"
"Yes," Qing Er said resolutely. "My late father was the late emperor's brother. But as I said, it matters not."
Yong Qi and Xiao Yan Zi exchanged a look. They both knew it mattered quite a lot, because it could be the thing that turned the tide on this case, but perhaps this was not the time to mention that point.
"Father, Mother," Xiao Jian said, "we really planned to tell you this as well when we told you about Xiao Yan Zi's situation, but things got a bit chaotic, and the time never seemed right to bring it up."
Qing Er knelt down. "Father, Mother, I hope you will not look at me different now that you know this," she said earnestly. "I did not intend to keep this information from you, it was just that it didn't seem appropriate to mention it when we all first met. When I married, I was prepared to leave behind any advantage my birth could give me. If Huang Shang is considerate to me now, it is because of his generous nature and due to his filial piety to his grandmother, who raised me and loved me, but it is not my intention to take advantage of it."
Everyone was looking at Qing Er in shock, though in Fang Yi's case, there was a certain expression of betrayal as well.
It was Father who recovered first, and reached down to help Qing Er stand. "Stand up, stand up, Qing Er. This is very unexpected, certainly, but I must say it does explain rather a lot."
Qing Er smiled weakly, but Xiao Yan Zi could see her exchange a relieved look with Xiao Jian that the reaction was not more hostile. Xiao Yan Zi could not help but feel slightly envious that Qing Er clearly had time to endear herself to her parents before they knew her real identity, and it clear that even that could not change their good opinion of her. She wished she and Yong Qi had that same opportunity, because in their current situation, to do things the opposite way was going to prove difficult.
It did not seem, however, that Fang Yi was quite ready to be as forgiving. "How could you have lied to everyone about this?" he demanded.
"You will watch your tone, Brother," Xiao Jian said warningly. "I have tolerated it thus far when you speak to your sister, because I know she does not wish me to fight her battles for her, but I will not tolerate it when you use it to speak of my wife."
"When I said that I was from Beijing, that my parents had died and I was raised by my relatives, none of it was a lie, Ah Yi," Qing Er said patiently. "And tell me, how would the details have made any difference?"
"Of course they would have made a difference!"
"How?" Qing Er asked. "Would anything you all have come to appreciate about me be less valuable if you had known before the family I was born into? And if they do make a difference to you, Brother, forgive me if I do not care, since it clearly does not bother my husband, the only person whom I should please. Besides, I refuse to let you bait me into being embarrassed of who I am, where I come from and everything that made me the person I am."
Fang Yi stared at her, apparently shocked at the sudden fire from the normally demure Qing Er. Xiao Yan Zi couldn't help but smile proudly. No matter what, Qing Er was a princess, first, and one raised by Lao Fo Ye. The older she got, and the more she forced to face the struggles of the inner palace, the more Xiao Yan Zi came to recognise that Lao Fo Ye was, after all, a formidable, powerful woman. She would have faced and overcame many struggles to come to the position she occupied. A lesser woman would not have been so harsh on Xiao Yan Zi and expected so much more in a wife for Yong Qi. Qing Er would have learnt from her the need to appear ladylike, and yet still be firm, stand her ground and fight for her rights when needed. One could be a gentle lady and still not allow oneself to be bullied. A stream of water was gentle until the rapids came, and then the waters could sweep you off your feet and drown you.
Xiao Jian was looking admiringly at his wife as well, and finally broke the remaining silence by saying, "Yes, perhaps this subject should be saved for later if anyone needs to discuss it further. Qing Er is right, it has been years since she left the palace now, and if such thing mattered at all, perhaps it should not matter any longer now. But we were talking about proving that Xiao Yan Zi is Xiao Ci?"
"Yes, and it is a good point Yi Er brought up, though not very tactfully," Father said. He hesitated for a while, then continued, "And the proof might be...hard to determine to everyone's satisfaction."
Xiao Yan Zi watched as he exchanged a look with her mother that she could only guess could not mean anything good. She could not help but feel nervous. What proof could she provide, exactly, when she wouldn't even know herself who she was if Xiao Jian hadn't told her? The only proof she ever had was her time growing up at Bai Yun Si, but even then she remembered very little of it, and most of what she did know was told to her by Xiao Jian and Jing Hui Shi Tai.
"What would constitute proof anyway?" Xiao Jian asked.
Xiao Yan Zi wondered whether the reason Xiao Jian never bothered much with more concrete proof was because he was as desperate to find his sister as she had been to have a family, and the moment it became a possibility, the both of them just clung to the idea, not caring on how thin a foundation it was built. Now, Xiao Yan Zi could not help but tremble with the fear that perhaps it was never true after all, that all she knew would come tumbling down again…
…It would be painful, but looking at Xiao Jian now, she knew that no matter what, they had believed for so long of their relationship that even if it wasn't true, it wouldn't make any difference. She would forever be his sister, and he her brother. It was just the idea she might lose her parents again, just moments after she knew she had them, that terrified her.
"Well, Xiao Ci was born with a birthmark," Mother said slowly, somewhat reluctantly. (Xiao Yan Zi now felt like she had to call her that while she still could.)
"Birthmark?" Xiao Yan Zi cried. "But I don't have any birthmarks! Brother, could it be that you've really claimed the wrong sister?"
"Well, you may not be aware yourself that the birthmark exists, Xiao Ci," her mother said hesitantly.
Before she could understand what such a statement meant to answer, there was a very suspicious cough that obviously covered a laugh from Yong Qi.
"What?" she demanded.
"Nothing," he said, struggling to keep a straight face.
"What?" she repeated.
"Xiao Yan Zi, trust me. Nothing," he said again, this time pleadingly, but she could still see the amusement in his eyes.
Her mother, meanwhile, was looking at their exchange with an expression that Xiao Yan Zi found hard to decipher. After a moment, when Xiao Yan Zi still failed to get Yong Qi to tell her what he evidently found so amusing, her mother said, "Well, I gather that Huang Shang understands what I mean."
"Perhaps," he said noncommittally, though it was still clear he meant differently.
Her father was looking at him with a very strange look in his eyes, one that, oddly, Yong Qi did not seem keen to meet. Yet, after a long while, her father nodded and said in a slightly choked voice, "Very well."
Suddenly it seemed as if the subject was closed. Xiao Yan Zi did not understand, at all, and was about to say as much, when Yong Qi gripped her hand and made a gesture with his other hand that meant, Later. He was looking at her so intently that she decided to let the subject go.
Fang Yi was not quite so accommodating.
"I don't understand."
"You do not need to," Father said shortly. "This is your sister, Xiao Ci. That is all you need to know."
"But there is no proof!"
"Enough, Yi Er!" Father commanded.
A tense silence ensued, one that only her parents and Yong Qi (really? What a combination!) appeared to truly understand, because Xiao Jian, Qing Er and Cheng An all looked baffled.
In the end, Xiao Yan Zi was glad the silence was broken by Er Tai, who clearly thought that they had strayed from the main point of the meeting.
"Shall we go back to discussing the matter at hand?"
"Yes," Yong Qi said resolutely, looking thoroughly relieved at the suggestion of changing the subject. Then, picking up a long box that had been resting on his desk, he gave it to Xiao Jian. "First, you should have this back."
Xiao Jian opened the box and took out his flute in delight. "Oh, you have it! I was afraid it would be lost in the struggles."
"It was among your possessions the guards at Zhong Ren Fu took from the inn," Yong Qi said.
"And my sword?"
Yong Qi laughed. "You think I'm giving you a sword in here? After everything that's just happened?"
"I would hardly use it here, and least of all against you. I don't fancy my family's sword spilling my sister's blood," Xiao Jian said seriously.
Yong Qi smiled slightly. "Nonetheless, it stays with Xiao Yan Zi for now."
"Fair enough."
Xiao Yan Zi knew what followed now, and could not help feeling nervous. She did not know how her father would take what was coming, though she hoped he would be glad and at least try to understand why the edict existed.
"Fang Daren, I believe you should read this imperial edict from the previous emperor," Yong Qi said, handing the edict over.
Her father stared from the edict to Yong Qi and back again for a moment, before he would even unroll the scroll. Xiao Yan Zi twisted her handkerchief nervously as both Xiao Jian and Qing Er looked over at her with questions in their eyes. She merely shrugged and sat down gingerly in a chair and watched as her father read. Yong Qi leaned back against his desk in anticipation.
It could not have taken her father long to read the edict, but he continued to stare at the scroll so long that by the time he did look up, everyone had decided that sitting would serve the waiting as well as standing.
"This cannot be real," he murmured finally.
Xiao Yan Zi nearly laughed and as Yong Qi's eyes met hers, his lips twitched in amusement as well.
But she was solemn as she said, "Father, it is real."
He looked up at Yong Qi in disbelief. Yong Qi, now sitting down at his desk, merely nodded. "It is real."
"What does the imperial edict contain?" Xiao Jian asked, apparently unable to wait any longer.
Father held out the edict silently to him. Fearing the whole cycle of reading and staring would repeat again with her brother, Xiao Yan Zi said, "Oh please just read it out loud."
Xiao Jian did as she asked, but not without shocked falters and stammers where he thought the whole thing was too incredible.
"The late emperor really wrote this edict?" he asked Yong Qi when it was over.
"Yes," Yong Qi said. "Why does no one believe this is real?"
"I believe it," Qing Er said with a smile, at the same time as her husband said, "It's just very hard to believe, you know."
"Really?" Yong Qi asked. "He did allow you two to marry in the end, and you think this is hard to believe?"
"I don't flatter myself into believing that either your father or Lao Fo Ye ever loved the idea of Qing Er marrying me," Xiao Jian said. Qing Er sighed but did not contradict him. "The permission was given rather reluctantly, do not think I didn't realise that."
"But you understand why he would leave such an edict?" Yong Qi asked.
"For your sake, certainly."
"More than that," Yong Qi pressed. "You know that, Xiao Jian, even if you find it difficult to accept."
Xiao Jian nodded. The expression on his face now was one that Xiao Yan Zi now knew well. It was one that spoke of the defeat of his long held impressions of Huang Ah Ma. It was an expression that always made appearance every time he realised how much Huang Ah Ma meant to Xiao Yan Zi, how much Huang Ah Ma loved her, how much he was a part of her life – even now – and even Xiao Jian, as her brother, would never be able to change that. It held grudging respect and perhaps even gratitude to how much Huang Ah Ma loved Xiao Yan Zi.
"Why?" their father asked, when Xiao Jian would not elaborate on what he understood.
Xiao Jian sighed. "As fractious as my relationship with the previous emperor was, Father, I do have to admit one thing: he loved my sister as much as his own daughter. This edict exists, I am sure, as much to protect her as it is to protect Huang Shang here."
Father was staring at Xiao Jian like he did not believe a word of what he just said. Xiao Yan Zi could not entirely blame him. The edict had shocked her as well, and her father was taking it in on top of everything else.
"What does this mean now, for us?" Xiao Jian asked.
"Well, unfortunately it does not help you escape this current…situation," Er Tai finally spoke up. "The edict pardons Fang Daren and his descendants of past crimes, it cannot pardon new crimes. With those new crimes, I must say the law is not exactly on your side."
"Er Tai is right, it does not help us much right now," Yong Qi said wearily. "I only thought you would wish to know of its existence, and through it, believe that I really do want to get everyone out of this alive."
"I believed that even before you produced this scroll," Xiao Jian said with a smile. "So how do we get out of this alive?"
"If I may be frank, I would not hold Huang Shang to that promise. You do understand that with our current situation, it is very hard to come to a conclusion where no one is hurt," Er Tai said. "I personally cannot guarantee it."
"You will find that, as usual, Er Tai's role in my life is to tell me I cannot do things," Yong Qi said. Xiao Yan Zi suppressed a smile at the sight of Er Tai heaving a sigh.
"That's because you have no sense of the impossible. Some of us do," Er Tai said. "Fu Zheng has already brought this case up in court once, and I am more than willing to bet that he knows more than he so far revealed. He will bring it up again and this time I'm sure he won't hesitate to drag Xiao Yan Zi's name into this."
"Who is Fu Zheng?" Xiao Jian asked.
"The owner of Chang Chun Inn," Qing Er said.
"How do you know?"
"It wasn't hard to make the connections from the conversation we had with the innkeeper. Also, Er Tai told me."
"Can we not keep my sister's name out of this?" Xiao Jian asked.
"No!" Xiao Yan Zi exclaimed. "If you are thinking of some stupid, noble sacrifice, I can't agree to it! You cannot ask me to deny you."
"Xiao Yan Zi – " both Xiao Jian and Yong Qi started to say, but she cut them off.
"No!"
"How would you suggest we do that?" Er Tai cut in, despite of her protests.
"Er Tai, don't encourage him!" Xiao Yan Zi exclaimed.
Er Tai shot her an apologetic look but turned back to Xiao Jian.
"We go through this whole case with fake names and don't mention Xiao Yan Zi, which was original plan until Qing Er decided to tell you everything," Xiao Jian said.
"I couldn't exactly not tell Er Tai the truth, since he recognised me," Qing Er said.
"We could try to keep Xiao Yan Zi's name out of it, but there is still that chance that it comes back to her anyway, and if that happens, the pressures on Huang Shang to take actions will be even higher if it is clear that we have sought to deceive before. And as I said, we do not know just how much Fu Zheng knows right now, I think any attempt at concealment at all is a big gamble."
"Nothing you've been saying has been particularly encouraging," Xiao Jian commented, staring at Er Tai. The question of whether Er Tai was truly helping was clearly implied.
Xiao Yan Zi chuckled. "He's just being realistic. Er Tai is much better at it than we are."
"There is a way we could draw out this case, or at least stall on a decision until we think of a better solution."
"What is that?" Xiao Jian asked.
"If we want, this case can deal with far more than just a one-man attempt at rebellion," Er Tai said. "If, Fang Yi, you would co-operate and give us information for us to try and find this Wang Xi, thus investigating further the existence and whereabouts of the White Lotus Sect in Beijing. There may be grounds for a softer sentence if we find him. Even if we do not, the whole thing will give us time to think of a solution.
"You are blackmailing me?" Fang Yi asked.
Er Tai laughed, unbothered by his clearly hostile tone. "No, it's stalling tactics. Intended to help you. Blackmail implies some sort of unfair, unlawful coercion on the part of the blackmailer. Excuse me if I don't see any such thing in this situation."
"What will happen once – if – you find Wang Xi? Or if you don't find him?" Xiao Jian said.
"Either way, he'll be a dead end in terms of the actual rebels. Real rebels who have things to lose and things to gain do not announce their intentions to random people they have never meet before like that," Yong Qi said. "I am also prepared for the fact we may not find him, that someone would have done away with him to keep whatever motive they had secret forever."
"It would be a sight more useful if we do find him," Er Tai said.
"Yes, of course."
"And if all that fails?" Father demanded.
"Then we'll think of something else," Yong Qi said simply. "We have managed to do so when previously faced with potentially catastrophic problems similar to this, after all."
Xiao Yan Zi could not help but think that in previous times, their solution for getting out of difficult situations usually involved running away or pretending the whole thing never happened. It would hardly be the way to go about this situation. But what else could they do now but hope that it all would work out in the end?
Her father looked immensely skeptical, though Xiao Yan Zi wasn't sure whether it was because of Yong Qi's claim, or because he could not believe that Yong Qi would actually go through with that claim even if it was possible.
They didn't have any time to contemplate or even discuss the situation further, as at that moment, Shun Gong Gong entered the room with an apologetic announcement that Liu Wang Ye was outside and requesting an urgent audience with Huang Shang.
Yong Qi exchanged a look with Er Tai and said regretfully, "I do need to take this."
"Of course," Er Tai answered. To everyone else, he said, "I suppose I shall take everyone home, and you too, Xiao Yan Zi, and you could have time to get acquainted further there?"
Xiao Yan Zi nodded. Xiao Jian asked, "Can we not stay at Hui Bin Lou instead?"
Yong Qi smirked. "Nice try. No."
"I would not wish to intrude – "
"You can talk to my brother and my sister-in-law about how you are intruding on them and see whether they like that observation," Er Tai interrupted with a smile. "And we do have to at least pretend there are restrictions being placed on you."
Fang Zhi Hang was used to his life being uprooted and turned up-side-down. It was a side-effect of defiantly staying alive after you've been sentenced to death. For the first few years after he was saved from the execution block, life on the run was perilous, and more than once he wondered whether he and Xue Yin were only living borrowed time, and that the truth would catch up with them eventually.
Well, it took much longer than he initially feard, but the truth had caught up now.
And he found himself helpless. Helpless, and furious, and so very, very aware of that he was an old man at the mercy of another man.
So what else could he do but follow the daughter whom he barely knew as she led them out of the study through a back door? The conversation they had been having was left frustratingly unfinished, though Zhi Hang had no idea what could be considered a satisfactory finish to such an encounter.
On the way out, he saw the lordling exchange a loaded look with his subordinate, and knew many messages hid in that look. He just wished he could totally bring himself to believe that none of them was malicious.
Zhi Hang did not wish to leave like this, with everything still in loose ends and he himself so completely at loss, unable to understand how his family found themselves in this situation.
Perhaps this was all just his punishment for questioning the Mandate of Heaven.
He had lost his eldest son and his daughter for the whole of their childhoods, the better part of their lives. His son might have grown up in the loving arms of his friends, but their family was still torn, and his daughter was left to fend for herself in what, he gathered from the brief details he had cajoled Yan Er into giving, was bleak conditions.
Until…
Untill what? Until she fell into the arms of a princeling who became this emperor, who now, if he so pleased, could order all their deaths with a snap of his fingers.
Their lives were in the hands of this upstart, barbarian-born, seducer of an emperor.
For so long, he had been focused on his family's survival, Zhi Hang had pushed all these thoughts to the back of his mind. He didn't realise old resentments could be brought up quite so powerfully given enough provocation.
All this, apparently, was provocation plenty.
Now, he did not try to stem the thoughts. He would not speak them, for he had seen enough to know it would pain his daughter. But they could not prevent him from thinking.
Why were they not dead? Why were their lives kept dangling?
For Xiao Ci, apparently.
Yet to the barbarian emperor, what was she? A pander to ego, a play thing, an amusement, a bed-warmer? A woman?
There were children, he had gathered. His grandchildren. And yet no allusion had been made to the possibility that he would ever get to see them. Perhaps he never would. Perhaps he would not live long enough, whatever the lordling promised. Perhaps the promised had been made only to appease Xiao Ci, to keep her so accepting of their current perilous balance on the situation.
The smallest, unbiased, reasonable part of him told him that this was probably not the case, however. Because Zhi Hang had watched, through the entire episode, the way the lordling treated her and he had resented every soft look, every gesture of concern, every gentle word.
She is not yours to love.
Except, she was, now. Such was a sobering, infuriating, heart-wrenching thought.
Zhi Hang supposed he had lost the privilege of being her champion, her staunch protector, to be the one who loved her most, when he gave her away. It was out of necessity, for her safety and protection, but he gave her away nonetheless, and she did not remember a single moment of the year they were together that he had treasured every day for the last nearly-thirty years.
Now they hardly knew each other, and their meeting was shadowed by grudge and resentments, awkwardness and uncertainty.
None of it was quite the emperor's fault, Zhi Hang owned, and much more fault must be attributed to Yi Er. But that didn't change the fact that lordling was smugly in control of their fates, and stated it so. Even before his fate was decided for him the last time, Fang Zhi Hang never took well to it being out of his own control.
Therefore, now it rankled to surrender all such control to someone half his age, someone who should have been made to beg to look at his daughter in the first place.
His daughter whom he did not know at all.
It was all a warped and utterly rotten circle. No wonder he felt so furious. The only problem was, he could not quite decide how much of the fury was directed at the lordling, and how much at himself.
