I don't see Drakken. He's standing right in front of me, but it's not him that I see. I see Junior's executioner. I see failure. I see insanity's welcoming arms.
A shadow leaps between Drakken and me. Furious, I sweep my arm in an arch, green flames licking out and slamming said shadow out of the way and into a tree. No longer hindered, I step towards Drakken.
"S-stay back!" he stutters. He fires something at me, but the beam is incinerated by my green plasma before it can even touch me.
"You want blood…" I flex my hands, my snarling smile growing. "I'll give you blood… I'll stain the ground with it… Your blood will paint the surroundings…" The shrill and frightened screams of Junior fill my mind as she runs towards me in slow motion. My eye twitches as I watch her slowly get ripped apart by bullets.
I don't notice Kim and Wade calling for me frantically. I can't hear them. I hear a voice from my past, a dead future… I hear Will Du.
"Shego, at long last, you have been caught." Will Du smirked down at me. He didn't even take notice of the child lying in the pool of blood on the floor. He pointed a gun to my head. "I promised I'd ruin you. I promised to run you into the ground and steal whatever useless hope you carried in thinking you would escape us. We're justice, and in the name of justice, I, Agent Will Du, execute you."
Furry… endless bleeding anger… pain… It filled me in a way I'd never experienced before. I was blinded by it. Swallowing me whole, it consumed my every breath, my every thought. I broke a barrier in my own mind I hadn't even known existed. It was like releasing a floodgate… a floodgate of limitless enraged fire.
It's filling me again, ensnaring me with nothing but thoughts of anger, blood, and revenge. It rejoices, green plasma licking up and down my body and lashing out at anything that gets too close.
"You desire blood so well," I continue my speech, stepping forward again. In my mind, it isn't Drakken cowering before me, it's Will.
I'd gotten up, after Du spouted his little farce about justice… I'd leapt to my feet and incinerated his entire combat team. He was the last one standing, the last one to cower in a corner in disbelief. I stalked towards him, like I stalk towards Drakken now.
"Such a desire for blood, from what is supposed to be a man of justice…" I'm talking more to myself then anyone else. Actually, it's more like a half insane rant.
Will had changed drastically over the years. He'd remained pure for a while, but eventually, he had to cave under the heavy influence of the rest of the agency. It twisted him in a manner that the only way to keep himself sane, he threw his humanity to the void and became one of the agents of death. His character was shifted so drastically, his wife divorced him and ran as far away as she could. She took his three children with her. That only served to send the man further into oblivion. If he seemed like ice before, now he was naught but a black hole.
"Blood of innocence covers your hands," I mutter, eyes locked unseeingly on Drakken. "Blood of sacrifice stains the clothes you wear, the bed you sleep upon…" I snarl, hand waving in the direction Junior had lain in the past, though her body is absent now. "You killed her!" I roar. Leaping high into the air, the green flames completely destroy all the branches above me and a small sapling that happens to be close-by.
"You are a criminal…" started Will, a small spark of defiance left in his eyes. "You are meant to be cleansed from the world."
"You murdered a child! A CHILD!" I bellow. My eyes are glowing eerily, hair dancing wildly on the wind roaring through the clearing. "Such a man of power," I mock. Will had twitched, as if a small part of him had managed to come back from the void.
"A child?" he asked, Drakken echoing his words in the present.
"A child." I growl. I wave my hand again. Against his will, Du's eyes followed and landed on Junior. He blinked several times, as if he couldn't comprehend what he was staring at. "Congratulations. Such a perfect example of justice. You stole the life from a child!"
Paling to a chalky white, Will's entire body crumbled into itself.
"A child?" he repeated. He was gasping for breath, eyes fixed in horror on Junior's bloody figure. "Justice?" he choked.
Hauling him into the air, I threw him at Junior.
Drakken has no idea what's going on, his terrified yelp only mirroring Will's own as he flies through the air as I repeat the motion in the present.
"Take a good look! Take a look at what justice has done!" I stalk towards Will, watching as he gagged over juniors body. "This is your justice," I growl.
"A child…" Will began retching.
I lift my hand, green flames practically alive and reaching for him.
Du sensed my presence and looked up. His eyes were filled with pain, confusion, and fear. "This isn't justice."
"No, that wasn't justice. But this is." Without saying anything further, I unleash my fire.
A shadow flashes across my line of vision, stealing my target and leaping to safety. I snarl, my head whipping around to find the culprit. The bodyguard has Drakken slung over her shoulder as she perches in one of the trees. She looks down at me warily.
"Give him back," I seethe.
"I think we're done for today," she answers. "You're a bit hotter around the edges then I thought." Without saying another word, she leaps away and disappears.
I scream in anger and frustration. My kill had been denied me. I won't stand for that. I gather my feet beneath me and prepare to launch myself after them.
A pair of arms encircle my waist as a body slams into my back. I grunt, stumbling and falling to the ground.
"Release me!" I immediately begin struggling, trying to free myself. I plant my hands on the ground and throw my feet into the air, shaking my captor loose and across the clearing. Jumping to my feet, I turn and face Wade in fury. I don't see that it's him. I only see more agents, more of GJ's death dealers.
"Shego, please!" calls a voice.
Whirling around, I throw a ball of burning plasma. I see Kim, but my mind shakes it off as an illusion. After all, Kim died. I saw her die. She can't be here because she died in my arms!
"Shego, no!" cries Wade. He leaps forward again to tackle me.
Ron barely makes it to Kim in time, throwing her to the ground and out of the path of my plasma.I'm shouldered into the dirt. Kicking and screaming, I spout endless curses and promises of pain. My mouth becomes gritty as I pay no attention to the fact my face is pushed into the ground.
"Shego stop! Listen to me!" Wade, struggles to keep me pinned. He doesn't even notice the fact that my plasma isn't burning him like it had in the past. "Shego! It's me! It's Nerdlinger! Please! Shego! SHEGO!"
Finally shaking his grip loose, I throw him off of me.
"Alexandra!" shouts a new voice. Spinning, I find two more agents approaching me. I growl angrily, slinging a ball of plasma at their feet and halting their advance. "Alexandra! Stop this at once!"
"Stop me? STOP ME?!" I begin cackling, mind filled with the sight of when I was storming GJ. "I'll kill you all! I'll slaughter every one of you! I'll have your blood! I'll have your heads!" I sense an oncoming attack and whip out six balls of plasma, throwing all the 'agents' around me to the ground. "Try and stop me… try and kill me… Try it! Just try it! I- UGH!" It feels like a train just ran into the back of me. Soaring forward, I slam face first into a tree then through it and into the tree behind it. Blood trickles down my nose as I slowly get to my feet, a humorless chuckle slipping from my lips. It slowly grows into more laughter as my unseeing eyes lock onto Hego.
"Shego stop!" he bellows. For once, he looks frightened, his blue eyes watching me in uncertainty. "You're going to hurt someone!"
The Wegos are cowering behind our parents. They had multiplied at first, but upon seeing the look on my face, they dispersed the rest and ran to our parents. They are unable to fight me.
Mego fairs no better. His only skill is shrinking, and last time he'd attempted to fight me, I'd threatened to squash him beneath my boot. Though, at the time, I'd been joking, this time, he knows I will hold true to that threat. He's decided to hang back and wait to see what will happen and if he can help at all.
I let loose a guttural roar and unleash two heavy streams of plasma at Hego. Blanching, Hego doesn't even have time to move before my green flames are upon him. He screams, bringing up his arms in a failed attempt to hold off the plasma.
"Damn it Alexandra! We're family!" bellows someone off to my right.
"Family? What family? They died. They all died," I prattle on, my attack not slacking as my eyes stare on wildly.
"They're right here damn it!" shouts Wade. He's on his feet again and taking a step closer. "I'm here! We're here!"
"Shego! Stop! Please!"
My head twitches, as if I'm trying to rid myself of a pesky fly. That voice… it's that voice again. Why can't I shake it? Why does it prick my thoughts like a determined child? I grind my teeth. It can only be a poseur. It's only a ruse.
I don't even turn to look as I lift one of my hands and begin aiming for the source of the distraction.
"Don't you dare fucking kill her again!" cries Wade as he jumps forward and slams all his weight down on my arm. I'm stunned by the force of the attack and left unprepared for it when he pivots and smashes both fists into my jaw.
The force of the blow picks me up off my feet and sends me spinning through the air. I hit the ground and roll a few feet before I come to a stop. Wade watches me in silence, panting heavily. Everyone else is locked in tensed indecision.
"Shego, get up," commands Wade. "Get up and take a look around you!" He stomps over to me and reaches down to grab my collar and jerk me up to his eye level. "Stop freaking out and look at me! Who am I?!"
I focus on him blurrily. A part of me growls in anger, demanding a quenching for its thirst for blood. The other part of me stumbles around in confusion, trying to figure out why the scenery isn't what it's supposed to be. There aren't any steel walls. There aren't people in that damnable blue uniform running around. There are no telltale insignia posted all over the place.
Where am I?
Wade instantly sees the turmoil in my eyes. He forces me to meet his gaze, to look at him full on.
"Shego, who am I? What's my name?" When my gaze starts to wander, he shakes me and forces me to look at him again. "Who am I?! Tell me! What's my name?!"
"The fu-" Another shake jars me. "Shit…wha-"
"I said look at me! Who am I?!"
Sudden recognition snaps into place. I bring a fist down and lightly hit him on top of the head. "What the hell Nerdlinger? What's your deal? Put me down!"
Eyes tearing and bottom lip trembling, he sets me down and wraps me in a tight embrace. "Damn it Shego… You fucking scared the hell out of me… I thought… I…"
I stare at his dreadlocks in confusion.
"What the hell are you talking about? What'd I…do…" My words trail off as I take in the surrounding area. Several scorch marks mar the area and the smell of burnt greenery fills the air. My panicked gaze turns quickly to each of the faces around me, each a mix of either terror or worry. The simple location of several of the burn marks tells me all I need to know.
My knees give out and I collapse to the ground. Wade follows me down, hands protectively on my shoulders. The clearing is eerily silent.
Wade cups my face in his hands and smiles down at me gently. "Welcome back."
My eyes dart up to his face in fear. "Did I… D-did I…"
He shakes his head before leaning down to kiss my forehead. "No. You didn't kill anyone."
I shudder and lean into him in relief. A sob threatens to escape my lips, but I swallow it down as Wade wraps me in another embrace.
I can hear my father sigh and step forward.
"Wade… what's going on?"
Wade snorts, eyes staring off into the distance. "Where to begin…" He slowly shakes his head. "You have something to say too, don't you?"
Miles blinks in shock.
"Well, yes. We'd been hoping to tell you all after the vacation was over."
Wade scowls and rubs his forehead. "I think we're going to need to know a little sooner then that." He looks down at me. "However, I'm afraid now isn't the time to discuss what's going on with…" He trails off.
I snort and lean away from him, rubbing at my eyes in irritation. "Fuck it Nerdlinger. They need to know what a monster I am."
He grabs my shoulder so hard that I wince. "You are not a monster."
I try to look away, but he refuses to let me do so.
Someone drops to their knees beside us. Both of us turn to find Kimmie staring at me. Freezing instantly, I watch her fearfully.
"Shego… what child was murdered?" she asks softly, green eyes unblinking.
My world plummets. Darkness threatens to overtake my vision, and I find my teeth clenched together so tightly I wonder if it's possible to make them shatter.
"What child…?" I murmur. It's time. I have to explain everything… even the parts that may doom what happiness I've gained in this life. My breath comes in short painful gasps, and I barely keep my shivering in check. Very slowly, as if fearing just looking at her will reveal everything, I meet Kimmie's eyes. My bottom lip trembles.
Brow scrunching together, Kim reaches out and gently cups my face in her palm.
"You have that look again…" she says gently. "That look that says you're afraid you're about to lose everything." She holds my eyes with hers, thumb gently stroking my cheek. "You asked me to stay forever…" she says just loud enough for Wade and I to hear. "I'll be here… forever… I just want to know what's going on. Just let me in."
"Forever?" I repeat, my mind boggling at what she'd just said.
"Forever," she reaffirms. "Believe me?" she asks so pleadingly it makes my heart twinge.
"Believe you," I whisper.
A bright smile breaks across her face as she leans forward and presses her forehead to mine. "Thank you," she murmurs, eyes watery.
When she finally pulls back, I muster what's left of my courage to tell her the truth.
"The child… the one… that was murdered…" I take a couple deep breaths. Wade squeezes my shoulder.
"Who's was it?" she asks softly.
I close my eyes a moment then slowly open them to look her square in the eye.
"Yours."
A/N: I know this fic was just starting to get all cheery and everything, but life is full of ups and downs. So... Well, that and I guess I also kinda wanted you to get a taste of Shego and her whole issue with her past. I wanted to show a bit more of what Shego was going through when she lost herself. I wanted to give you a small taste of her rage and how blind she became when it fell upon her. It's impossible to have a story without challenges and struggles after all. In any case, bad cliffy, I know. Forgive me? I stayed up way past my bedtime to write this as it is lol.
Also, I needed to tie more into her past so it makes sense from the last chapter. After all, gotta wonder why she snapped at such a simple sentence. Also wanted to get Will into the picture and his part in what was going on in the tomorrow that never comes. Anyway, would love some feedback on this one because it was one of those BANG gotta write this down! type of things.
Next chapter will obviously be about Kim and her reaction to what Shego just told her.
And since this A/N is terribly long and I'm half asleep, toodles for now!
